Marriage is a fine institution, but not in Skyrim

Over the weekend, I got married. The day before I got married, I got engaged, and it was a sunny, clear day, with chickens skittering around on the ground and dragons roaring in the baby blue sky above. Couldn’t imagine it any differently. I didn’t really know the woman I just promised to share my life with too well, but she seemed more than eager, and in a realm like Skyrim you only live once. I immediately fast-traveled to the Temple of Mara to speak with the priest and prepare everything. There was little work for me to actually do. He said to get some rest and come back tomorrow. I took a thirteen hour nap in the temple’s basement. Upon coming upstairs, I was surprised to see the guests had all arrived–though none looked like any of my friends. Where was Hadvar? The Greybeards? Before a candlelit altar, the priest said some elegant words, and my bride-to-be and I shared our vows. When the ceremony ended, she turned, started to say something to me about a “happy life,” and exited the temple in mid-sentence. I rushed outside, deeply worried about my new wife and the possibility she might have a concussion, and discovered that she had vanished entirely from Riften. It truly was a Skyrim moment.

So, for those curious, I married Avrusa Sarethi. This piece of Dunmer flesh and mind:

Meooow. At first, I was just turning in a quest. See, she asked me long ago to find like twenty Jazbay Grapes, and after discovering that a merchant in my fully restored Thieves Guild hideout sold them, I just bought one or two each time I visited the place until I had enough to complete the miscellaneous task. Think she needed them for potions or Nirnroot stuff. However, before I gave her the grapes, I noticed a dialogue option that basically went, “Ya want dis?” Nice to know that she was interested in me long before I did the quest for her; otherwise, that’s just guilt driving her forward, which would never last.

Currently, Lohgahn is level 47, married, and totally alone. He adopted a kid some time back out of generosity for an Achievement, and I think that young boy resides in Breezehome–by himself–but it’s hard to remember as I have four houses currently, thanks to the Hearthfire DLC. Here’s hoping that my dear Avrusa disappeared to one of my many abodes, because having a spouse offers some gameplay bonuses, like free food and he or she will shop for you while you’re out slaying dragons and finding Word Walls. Not sure how much of that is useful at this point in the game when I have all the money in the world to buy food and ingredients, but it’s kind of neat if a bit old-fashioned. When I’m up to all the fast-traveling and loading screens, I’ll go around the realm and check all my houses to see where she ended up, if she is even alive. If not…well, that’s another blog post.

Regardless, with the words said and before my new wife could hightail it back to Sarethi Farm, this Achievement popped:

Married (10G): Get married

And truthfully, that’s what marrying in Skyrim is all about: showing off.

PING! GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED EVER

…oh right! I forgot to mention that I unlocked the above Achievement eleven days ago in a tiny chapel in Kinnelon, NJ, but I can’t seem to find it in my big  online list thingy. Hmm. Maybe it’s glitched. Well, the ceremony oh so happened, I swear! Further proof is on my ring finger and in my heart. Love you, hon.

Be right back, getting married

Well, I gotta put Grinding Down on hold for a little bit as I’m getting married this Saturday. Random and pointless blathering about videogames will continue once I’m back from the honeymoon, and you’ll know when that is when you see posts here again. Fallout: New Vegas comes out when Tara and I are strolling the streets of the Magic Kingdom and Hogsmeade, and I guess that’s a pretty good tradeoff, but I have two things to say to those getting the game on the day it drops: 1) have fun, you lucky bastard(s) and 2) I hate you.

Be back soon, dear readers!

P.S. Those are the cake toppers Tara and I designed based off of my Supertown comic style. Adorable and faceless is the way to be.

The arduous task of deciding what Nintendo DS games to pack for the honeymoon

Five days to go until the wedding, and I’m still not even packed yet for the honeymoon. Hmm, might want to get going on that. Will have to make a note. Or, um, just look at this blog post again later. And I’m not even talking about packing clothes…just trying to narrow down what Nintendo DS games I can fit–and should fit–in my travel bag.

First, let me stop you and your finger-waggin’ assuming. Yes, this is Tara and I’s honeymoon, and yes, we’ll be doing lots of honeymoon-like things. Wink, wink. As well as going all over the place in Disney World and the Wizardy World of Harry Potter, dining fine and laughing and loving it up. I promise you, we will. But remember, there’s the airport waiting and flight itself to contend with, and if there’s one thing I’m really not a huge fan of…it’s flying. Anxiety and giant hunks of metal and wires magically floating in the air do not mix well. So I will need some distraction like woah, and thus enters my Nintendo DS. My travel bag can hold around 12 game catridges (I’m actually a little fuzzy on that; it might even be more), as well as another cartridge in the DS game slot.

Here’s the ones that fall under must definitely bring:

• Broken Sword: Shadow of the Templars
• Chrono Trigger DS
• Dragon Quest IX: Sentinels of the Starry Skies
• Mario Kart DS
• Picross 3D
• Scribblenauts

DQIX will be perfect for killing time, as there are a bunch of sidequests and grinding to do. I also picked up Chrono Trigger DS last week and am enjoying that a lot too (more on that game later). Scribblenauts, while not perfect, is fun just to fool around with, and I think the others listed are self-explanatory.

And then here’s some filler:

• Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars
• MySims Agents
• Pokemon HeartGold

 

I think Tara is just bringing one game with her, and that’s Animal Crossing: Wild World. I have good memories of that game helping to soothe my sanity during a much longer flight from New Jersey to Arizona when I went to see my sister, meaning she’ll be just fine.

Either way, still lots to get done this week. Please pray for me.

Save your game or be super lame, the DQIX motto

Hi, my name is Paul.

HI PAUL

Uh, hi. Recently, I forgot to save my game when playing Dragon Quest IX. I lost roughly thirty to forty minutes of progress, a good portion of which was grinding, finding alchemy recipes on bookshelves, and a boss battle against the Ragin’ Contagion. Not the game’s trickiest boss fight, but a time-consuming one nonetheless.

TIME IS THE GREATEST BATTLE OF ALL

Quiet, you. Anyways, I was planning on saving my game. I really was. Just had to get back to the church in Coffinwell. Other RPG games like Pokemon HeartGold and Fallout 3 really spoiled me with the whole “save anywhere, any time” thing, and if there was one aspect that really frustrated me with Dragon Quest VIII, it was its save system. You’d think Level 5 would have opted for a more user-friendly save system on the DS, a gaming device most often played on the go or in short bursts. Saving one’s progress is especially hard in the first ten hours of the game because the main character has not learned Zoom yet, a fast travel spell which is, thankfully, free of an MP cost.

But yeah, I was playing, totally prepared to save, and then my brother-in-law’s wife showed up with her babies and everyone was heading out to David’s Bridal to do some dress shopping. Well, not me. I was going next door to look at tuxedos and suits and get an idea of how I want to dress for my wedding. If only it was as easy as it is in Dragon Quest IX; you know, a wedding get-up would be like so:

If only.

LIFE IS NOT A VIDEOGAME, PAUL

Well, it should be! And I thought I told you to be quiet. Whoever you are. Whatever you are. I’m talking about saving videogame progress here. And, uh, buying wedding attire. Anyways, Ellen and the babies showed up, and help was needed so I flipped my DS closed and dropped it in my pocket. I figured I’d save in the car as we drove to Wayne. Anyways, when I flipped open my DS later on, I found myself staring at two dark screens, void of life and animation and sound. Yes, somehow, most likely when I dropped the DS into my pocket, the power button on the side got hit, and off my game went. Goodbye, progress. I just couldn’t believe it. I even exclaimed to Tara about how much I couldn’t believe this. I mean, I’m a gamer…we’re trained from an early age to save often. Saving is what we do. I just couldn’t believe it, that I’d let myself get so distracted to not save, especially after a boss battle. I mean…what is wrong with me?

CLEARLY YOU HAVE FALLEN OFF THE WAGON

Hey, that reminds me! Man oh man, remember in DQVIII, remember when you had that silly girl horse and wagon and had to wait while your alchemy recipes cooked as you battled slime and slime knights. Now, in DQIX…it’s instantaneous! That’s just so great. A smart change. As was dropping the MP cost of Zoom down to 0 (I believe it was 2 or 3 MP in the previous game). A shame you can’t carry the alchemy pot with you though as backtracking to Stornway is (and most certainly will be as the game goes on) a tad annoying.

So yeah, if only they had updated DQIX with the ability to save anywhere. Because traveling to a church, speaking to the priest, selecting to confess, punching A through the same ol’ rambling text, selecting YES when asked to record data in priestly book of saving, and then selecting whether of not to continue playing afterwards…it’s a bit overdone.

THIS BLOG POST IS OVERDONE

You’re right, ominous voice. And so it ends!