Please leviathan me alone

It’s time now for another rousing edition of…True to Life Phone Calls, starring Paul and Tara and brought to you by a cup of mediocre Green Mountain coffee.

Tara: So, what are you doing for the rest of the night?
Paul: Playing Dragon Quest IX. I’m trying to beat this one boss before I go to bed.
Tara: Ooooh.

Yup. Only…I failed. I did not beat said boss, and I still went to bed. Talk about being a quitter. Actually, no. I was really tired. I had a day of work and then an evening of Scott Pilgrim mania, as well as food and coffee drinks and musing about comics and slushing stories for Clarkesworld and so on and so on.

But I did try to beat Leviathan twice in a row, and that should count for something; he’s a boss you’ll come across shortly after you complete the vocation quest in Alltrade Abbey, and basically, he’s a pain in the ocean-butt. At least, he is for my team of scrabblers. See, he only attacks once per turn–unlike that jerk Jack of Alltrade–but two of his main attacks are the kind that target all four of my team members at once. There’s a tidal wave attack and tail sweep attack, both of which do a good amount of damage. The biggest problem with this is my lack of healing, and I don’t have any group heal spells or buff spells save for Accelerate. I was hoping my mage would’ve learned one by now, but I guess he’s more aggro than anything. Looks like I will have to put Andy on the back burner and create a new character with the priest vocation. Please submit name suggestions. Since my martial artist and thief are both women, my priest character will be a hardcore dude.

I actually don’t mind the fact that I will have to create a new character and grind him/her up to a decent level to help beat Leviathan. Why’s that? Well, for one thing, the grinding isn’t terribly annoying in Dragon Quest IX. Each battle gets you more XP, more gold coins, and the possibility of more items for the alchemy pot. Plus, upon returning to previous towns, you’ll find new characters there ready to give out sidequests. Now, some of these are absurd and difficult-sounding, and others are of the “kill X monsters” breed. Also, rumor has it that previously visited dungeons now host new treasure chests like mini medals and harder enemies. It’ll be good to take these missions on and build up my priest at the same time. He better get a heal all spell, and he better get it fast, as it seems I can’t go forward with the actual story until I take down Mr. Fishface.

And if this tactic doesn’t work, I’ll just recruit my sister this Friday as we give local co-op a chance.

Depressed gamer is depressed

Clearly, I’m depressed. Well, it might not be all that clear to you, my silent readers, but to me, it’s beyond evident. I know this because I bought more videogames this week after buying some videogames the previous week, and all I look forward to now at the end of the day is coming home from work and immersing myself in another world. Any world but this one. It could be Nazi-occupied Paris or Pandora littered with skags and psycho bandits or even a fantasy farming game that also houses caves of monsters. It does not matter. So long as it passes the hours until I can pass out and do it all over again, that’s fine.

While getting my oil changed over the weekend, I walked around the mall, finally stepping into GameStop. I just meant to wander, really, but then I noticed they had a “buy two pre-owned games, get one free” deal going on. So I did some searching. I knew that I wanted to get my mother a new Nintendo DS game, and I found Dream Day Wedding Destinations for fairly cheap, but now I needed to more games to seal the deal. Seeing as how I was going to be traveling that weekend (and the next 796 weekends), I decided to pick out two DS games for myself. Still haven’t had the energy to beat The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks, and while Picross 3D is fun, it’s not really a story-driven game, just the same thing over and over and over. I needed a little more drive (pun intended, as you’ll soon see) in my games, and I grabbed Rune Factory: A Fantasy Harvest Moon and Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars for about $15.00 each, thus picking up Mom’s game for free.

Both games are pretty good so far, but that’s not what I’m here to write about.

Depression. It sucks.

In high school, I handled it with an outburst of creativity, drawing furiously or scribbling in my notebooks ideas that would never come to fruition (like that one about a school of magical centaurs), but getting them down on paper nonetheless. I almost over-created, in some sense, staying locked away in my bedroom and just letting it all out. My small circle of friends quickly dubbed me “a hermit,” further leading to more depression sinking it, and I later turned the tables on them (though they most certainly have no awareness of this) by writing and selling a little short story about a hermit.

College was much harder in terms of depression. I did not like my college experience; I hid it really well though. If you called me a fake, I would not argue. There were dozens of reasons not to get down, and dozens of reasons countering this. I had a hard time dealing with issues of identity and friends, and ultimately turned to rum and booze and drinking my nights away. Sounds like a cliché, but it’s not at all. My PlayStation 2 was always there, but I never really needed it to comfort me. I did find a way to release my creativity via my guitar, playing “open mic” nights at local cafes and such, which was scary and fun and kept me on my toes, but it didn’t stop the bad thoughts from coming.

Now that I’m out on my own and mostly alone during the workweek, I rely a lot on mindless (and not-at-all mindless) entertainment like videogames. They are both a treat and savior to me come the evening, as I don’t watch any TV shows right now, can’t stand anything that I write short story-wise, and am so turned off by drawing that I have to wonder why I even try. Yet videogames are easy. Push the A button, watch something explode, reap the reward. Instant gratification, instant satisfaction. Lots of goals and Achievements and things to obtain, keeping me focused on something. Sure, some videogames let me down now and then, but never in a sense that my chest wants to cave in or that I want to scream at the sky, “Failure!”

What’s really terrible is the fact that I can’t openly discuss the reasons behind this depression. They are heavy and personal, complicated and unnerving, multiple and multiplying, a total dose of mindfuckery, and I can only imagine what this looks like from the outside looking in: hollow, emo whining. It’s not; that much I can assure you. Depression as depicted on TV commercials is not always how it has to be. You can smile through the day and think the worst things on the inside, and nobody would have a clue. You can still play videogames and have a convivial time, and you can still be the saddest hobbit this side of Middle-Earth.

DEMO IMPRESSIONS: Snoopy Flying Ace

Peanuts characters and aerial dogfighting. It seems like an obvious and punny combination, right? Well, Snoopy Flying Ace, an Xbox Live Arcade game that is all about chaotic multiplayer and shooting down the Red Baron, puts it to the test.

Here’s the official game description:

“You can’t have aerial dogfighting without the dog! Join Snoopy, Charlie Brown, and the rest of the Peanuts gang in the premier online flight shooter on Xbox LIVE Arcade, Snoopy Flying Ace. With simple flight controls and a hangar full of customizable planes and weapons, all you need are nerves of steel to climb the Leaderboards and become a Flying Ace! Snoopy Flying Ace takes addictive, fast-paced airborne combat to new heights, with fantastic solo and co-op challenges testing your skills against the Flying Circus of the dreaded Red Baron. Remember, it ain’t the size of the dog in the fight… it’s the size of the fight in the dog!”

The trail demo offers up a bunch of missions to play, as well as some online multiplayer. The first few are more or less tutorials: learning how to fly your plane, learning how to speed up and make sharp turns, learning the different weapons you have at your disposal, and learning how to hop to the ground to operate anti-aircraft gunnery. Then, after that, you’ll have your first big fight against Lucy and a swarm of goons as you’re set to protect a location with all you got.

I have to say, and I was really surprised here, but the controls are fantastically sharp. You use the left analog stick to steer and direct, and the right analog stick is for flipping upside-down or rolling left/right to avoid getting shot. It handles like a dream, which is a simile I’ve never really understood, but I will just say it simpler then: it handles really well. You’ll be swooping this way and that, firing off rockets and bullets, switching tactics on the fly (more puns!), and you won’t really get dizzy or ever feel out of control.

Plus, you’re doing all of this with Peanuts characters. I can’t stress that enough. They are adorable as they blow each other to smithereens. Take that, General Lucy! Pew pew pew!

I basically only did the single-player missions, as the online multiplayer kept kicking me out. I’m sure that’s fun, too, and probably the true selling point of Snoopy Flying Ace. For 800 Microsoft Bucks, it’s a solid entry. At least give the trial demo a try.

Meet the three Pokemon Black/White starters

Earlier in the week, Pokemon fans got teased with the following silhouettes, which represent the three new starters from the forthcoming Pokemon Black/White games:

Many guessed that, seeing as there’s been little innovation in this aspect, the three Pokemon would fall under the usual category of being fire-based, grass-based, and water-based. Sure, some hoped for new elemental types to start out their next adventure. Personally, a baby dragon-based Pokemon would be killer to train from the get-go, but alas, it’s been revealed what they look like, knocking down all theoretical walls and solidifying that they are what they are, which is adorable/freaky and just more of the same:

We have a fire-based pig, a rather stoned-looking grass Pokemon (inside joke?), and some kind of…demented beaver? Really, your guess is as good as mine. Their Japanese names are reportedly Tsutaja, Pokabu, and Mijumaru, but I’m sure they’ll swiftly be made into something more punny for us silly Americans. Either way, I’m not overly excited for Pokemon Black/White. See, HeartGold will definitely be keeping me busy for a long, long time, and if there’s a severe lack of innovation in this next iteration of the series and just, oh, a hundred more Pokemon to ultimately collect then there’s no reason to jump on it. Chances are I won’t even have half of HeartGold‘s Pokedex filled by the time this comes out. And I really do think the series needs more than a graphic overhaul to spice things up.

If I had to pick one though, I’d go with the fire-based pig. Naturally, his nickname would be Bacon.

My brother is an Italian plumber, ask anyone

It’s always nice when an Achievement can surprise you.

Was shooting some skags in Borderlands last night. Pew pew pew splat. Most of them outside of the home base in the Arid Badlands go down pretty easy now that I’m a burly LV. 18 Soldier with some wicked assault rifles and grenades that actually regenerate my health upon killing enemies. A couple took a few more shots than others, and I moved in to finish them off with some melee swipes since I wanted to conserve ammo. And then, unexpectantly, this Achievement popped up on screen:

My Brother is an Italian Plumber (15G): Killed an enemy plumber-style

I wasn’t 100% sure how I unlocked this, but after looking it up, you evidently do damage when jumping on enemies, and I must have taken a skag out in this manner. I seriously thought it had something to do with fire weapons in relationship to picking up the fire flower power (say that out loud, it’s fun). Still, neat and fun, and I’m glad it happened with me oblivious to the fact. Sure, sure, I scanned the list of Achievements for Borderlands, but I didn’t read all of them, and the majority seemed to be unlockable as you gradually proceeded further in the game. No worries then. Play it, and they will come.

All in all, I really like Borderlands…despite its faults. And trust me, I could list them. There are many. A lot of them boggle my mind, and I know that a few more months of development might have polished the game some more. But the shooting is fun, and it needs to be considering, well, that’s basically all you do. Achievement-wise, it’s a great mix of story-based ones, general exploration, do X a number of times, and random gameplay ones (like above). They are unlocking at a nice clip (pun intended), and I’m looking forward to taking on the game’s first major boss: Sledge. Considering how much trouble I had with skag legends Moe and Marley though, I might not be ready for him. Will have to do some more sidequests until I’m at least a LV. 20…

Slaying dragons and taking names

Let’s talk about this Achievement I unlocked last night from Dragon Age: Origins, with some light spoilers:

Dragonslayer (30G): Defeated the dragon guarding the Urn of Sacred Ashes

So, the Urn of Sacred Ashes quest is one of the major story-driven quests you can take on whenever you want once you’ve completed the shitstorm at Ostagar. I ended up doing it as my second quest after handling things at Redcliffe, and various forum posters frequently mentioned TO NOT RING THE GONG ON THE MOUNTAIN TOP UNLESS YOU ARE READY FOR A CRAZY BATTLE. I’m paraphrasing there, but the all caps aspect is 100% true. Hmm okay. So I didn’t ring said gong, as I was just a very low level at the time (and playing on Normal difficulty), and then completely forgot about that cutscene where the dragon flew overhead and roared. However, I still got the Urn of Sacred Ashes so…uh, the dragon kind of failed that “guarding” part. Oh well.

But after the Landsmeet, you’re basically told to do anything else you want to do because once you head to Redcliffe again, you’ll be entering the point of no return. Eep. So, last night, I instead ran around to do some more sidequests sitting idle in my questlog, and then remembered the gong. Seeing as my mage was a level 18, and Shale, Alistair, and Morrigan were level 17s, I figured we had a decent shot of taking down a dragon.

And we did, obviously, but it was still a pretty grueling battle. I can only imagine that frustration and heartbreak one might feel taking this dragon on too early in the game. There’s some really great animation work here though, which I hadn’t seen a lot of before because it’s mostly been fights with small-time enemies like bandits, darkspawn, and wolves. The coolest part of the battle happened at the end when Alistair (who I was not controlling) leaped atop the dragon’s head and swung deep with his electrified axe, striking the killing blow. Not sure if that’s scripted or not, but either way, it made the win all the more awesome.

Got some killer loot, too.

With this done, there’s nothing else so major that I want to do before heading for No Return City. Lots of sidequests are still incomplete, but none of them interest me currently, and a couple are based in Redcliffe, meaning…they are impossible to finish at this stage. Woo. So I’m gonna gather my army, try and smooch Leliana one last time, and make a final stand against the darkspawn. For Ferelden!

Insert epic orchestra score

“An opportunity missed is an opportunity wasted.” – Seed, Suikoden II

That’s a good quote from one of my all-time favorite games to try and get this ball a-rollin’ again. The lack of steady content can be blamed on many things, but mostly this: time. I won’t go into a long tirade where I am all wah wah this and wah wah that. I’ll just sip this water, take a deep breath, and prepare to take this videogame blogging thing to a new level.

Pun intended.