GAMES I REGRET PARTING WITH: Colony Wars

I still can’t believe we haven’t seen a new Colony Wars game in this day and age of impressive technology, big TV screens, and unstoppable imagination. Or, at the very least, a half-hearted remake of the first 1997 space adventure from Psygnosis. Alas, it seems like the Colony Wars series was deeply cornered in the late 1990s, possibly too unique for its time, and never managed to break free from its own genre, and that’s a shame, because this is the series that really taught me what it might be like to fly an aircraft not of this world. Also, not in this world. Yeah, sorry, Decent.

Story stuff. In Colony Wars, the player assumes the role of a nameless colonist involved in the expanding League of Free Worlds resistance movement. As a skilled League fighter pilot, you take orders from the Father in an attempt to overcome the oppressive Earth Empire and its massive naval fleets, which are spread across multiple colonies. I don’t know if it is simply the American Revolution in space, but it’s close enough. What’s really neat is that failing a mission in Colony Wars did not mean “game over,” just a new branch to follow. You can “fail” every mission in the game and still see it end, albeit through dire consequences. This allowed for the story to really feel unique, like your own, and certainly softened that blow when things didn’t go as perfectly as you planned them. Evidently, there are two alternative “good” endings, though I couldn’t tell you if I saw any of them. I definitely witnessed my fair share of “failed” missions though…

Speaking of missions, I remember them being quite many, as well as varied, though they naturally all involve you flying in your spaceship to some capacity. I think there’s about 70 in total, and you have to remember that you’ll only experience maybe a third or so based on your success or failure rates, making multiple playthroughs worth the effort. Let me see what some mission types were: perimeter defense, guarding supply lines, protecting capital fleetships, taking down opposing capital fleetships, dogfighting, infiltrating Imperial territory, and surveillance-style objectives, like obtaining Naval technology.

At the time, the graphics in Colony Wars were capable of being described as light years ahead of other PlayStation titles (pun intended). It did that thing where when your spaceship goes faster, speed lines appear around you in a circular fashion, something I’d probably scene on Star Trek or some other space-themed TV show. And there I was, the one piloting the ship, zooming forward through the emptiness towards that massive hulk in the distance, my target to destroy. It’s also one of the rare games that I enjoyed using the cockpit view more than the third-person camera, as seeing the inside of your ship and HUD really helped immerse yourself in the action, especially when you’d be flipping this way and that, hot on some enemy ship’s trail. Also, a friendly warning that should be heeded by all: do not look directly into the sun.

The game’s soundtrack is not exactly memorable, but upon giving it another go via the YouTubes, I’m finding it thematically appropriate. Dark, brooding, and capable of building to something that feels almost entirely overwhelming–perfect for backing up a contested dogfight out in the middle of no spaceman’s land. A great use of orchestra and electronica, but maybe a bit too unnerving for listening to when writing a blog post. I feel the need now to take down an evil-as-evil-gets ginormous battleship hiding in an asteroid belt singlehandedly; that, or entirely rewatch Battlestar Galactica for like the umpteenth time.

I’ve had a disc copy of Colony Wars: Vengeance in my collection for some time now, untouched, the manual glanced at occasionally, and I guess if I ever do really get that itch to fly through space and shoot some massive vessels I can give it a go. I don’t know much about this sequel to the original, save that it retains the idea of fail-able missions, but also lets your spaceship entire planets’ atmosphere to shake things up. However, it won’t be the same Colony Wars that I remember so fondly from 1997, that opened before my blossoming eyes and stretched out endlessly, that put a dot in the distance and directly me towards it. Let’s leave with a fitting Carl Sagan quote: “Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.”

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GAMES I REGRET PARTING WITH is a regular feature here at Grinding Down where I reminisce about videogames I either sold or traded in when I was young and dumb. To read up on other games I parted with, follow the tag.

Survive three different planes of platforming in Mutant Mudds

Don’t let Mutant Mudds‘ colorful sprites, cute critters, and bouncy tunes fool you; this is one tough cookie. Well, technically it’s a platformer. And a serious test of one’s patience and ability to soldier on. Also, don’t be surprised to know there’s a story behind all that jumping, hovering, and shooting: Max, the blonde-haired, glasses-wearing main protagonist, is sitting in his living room playing videogames when a large meteor suddenly hits the planet. A TV news station then reports that there’s been a “Muddy” invasion. Equipped with only his water gun and jetpack, Max takes it upon himself to stop these Mutant Mudds…by collecting, um…y’know, end-of-level Water Sprites and gold diamonds. The stuff mutant piles of mud(d) hate the most.

Originally, I played a bit of Mutant Mudds on my laptop, using an Xbox 360 controller, as I find platformers extremely difficult with mouse and keyboard. I did not get very far though, maybe only earning 10 to 15 Water Sprites. But then, thanks to a swell promotion from Nintendo for purchasing both Fire Emblem: Awakening and Shin Megami Tensei IV with a set time period, I came into $30 worth of eShop money, just begging to be spent. I purchased Attack of the Friday Monsters! and Super Mario Bros. 2 some time back, but stopped there, unsure of what else to get. Then, without warning, I realized I needed two very difficult puzzle platformers for on-the-go gaming, and so I bought Mutant Mudds and VVVVVV; I’ll write about the latter later.

Anyways, I’ve actually done much better playing on the handheld than the PC, completing all the main levels in Mutant Mudds and collecting 20 Water Sprites and all the gold diamonds. The game actually uses 3D smartly, and I turned it on in several spots to help differentiate between the three planes of platforming. After completing the main-ish levels, I opened up four more levels dubbed “In Space No One Can Hear You Screaming In Frustration After Getting Hit By That Mud Monster That Spits.” At least that’s what I’ve been calling them. I’ve actually completed the first of the four new levels, but after many, many attempts, I just don’t see myself beating the rest. Timing is so essential, both in landing your jumps and moving fast to beat the ticking clock, and Max can only take three hits before its lights out; I thought level 4-4 was masochistically tough, but these space levels are that and then some.

While I avoid dying in space–and no, I’m not talking about Alfonso Cuaron’s Gravity–there are a couple other ways to distract myself in Mutant Mudds. Within each level, there are two alternative exits. One takes you to a mini-level stylized after the Virtual Boy and another goes to a place paying love and homage to the Game Boy. There are no gold diamonds in these, but if you complete them you can still acquire a Water Sprite at the end. These are nifty, and I’ve done a few, but finding the alt exits in the main level seems to require a specific power-up equipped, and I refuse to use anything other than the extended hover item. That’s right. I refuse.

I might try the lingering, menacingly taunting three space levels a few more times here and there, but don’t expect a “just beat” haiku any time soon. Which stinks, as I’m pretty close to the end.

Lastly: vanishing platforms can burn in Hell.

BACKLOG REVIEW: Professor Heinz Wolff’s Gravity

The most obvious thing Professor Heinz Wolff’s Gravity has going for it is its art style. A mix of candy canes and Tim Burton-esque level designs, this no-frills Nintendo DS puzzler just oozes style. Background images are vivid paintings, striking to the point of distraction. Even the moody music adds to the overall atmosphere. But is it the be-all, end-all of puzzlers?

No.

To find out why, click below.