JUST BEAT: Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion

…and by “just beat” I mean I completed the main quest the other night. Let’s just say it was beyond lame. I have many reasons to back this up, but first, some backstory.

Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion is one of the games that led me to get an Xbox 360 (other key games include Fable II and Fallout 3), and I quickly immersed myself in Cyrodiil, honing my archery skills and sneaking through caves and ancient ruins alike to loot, loot, and loot some more. Upon first playing, I did the main quest up to the part where you return from Camoran’s paradise where I then gleefully wandered off to do sidequests and just explore. This was fun…for some time, but then my collection started to grow and I kind of forgot about Martin and Daedra and shutting down Oblivion gates. On occasion, I’d pop Oblivion back in and poke about for an hour or two. The last time I played the game before this past weekend was back in August. Er…yeah.

So yeah, I got motivated and figured I could complete the main quest at the very least if I buckled down and focused. Little did I know that it would involved little-to-none buckling down and zero focus. Ah, Oblivion, you lazy bastard. Grabbing Martin by his Sean Bean neck, I headed over to the Imperial City to re-light the Dragonfires and save Cyrodiil. This took less than 10 minutes. Here, I will give you a step by step:

1. Introduce Martin to some dude
2. Fight off a few Daedra that interrupt us
3. Move to the next zone
4. Fight off a few Daedra that interrupt us
5. Move to the next zone
6. Run past the Daedric Prince Mehrunes Dagon without incident
7. Control is taken away from the player and you watch as Martin turns into a dragon-bird to destroy Mehrunes

LESS THAN TEN MINUTES.

Probably the lamest aspect of this final main quest is that you are not playing at the end. You are watching. Or maybe you are not and you got up to pee or something. That is reasonable. The fact still remains; just when something large and epic is finally happening in Oblivion, you are put on pause, you are asked to stop role-playing, and you are forced to watch a stilted, turn-based battle between bird and demon-beast. It’s so anticlimactic that I can’t even imagine what other possibilities they threw away before going with this one.

I dunno if I’ll go back again and finish up the different guilds and expansion packs any time soon. It just seems kind of fruitless, especially after all the Fallout 3 I’ve been playing. Those quests offer both awards and gold, something severely lacking in Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, and even though each game had problematic endings, at least Fallout 3 was able to undo it and move on.

Fallout 3 Xbox avatar items on the horizon

Um, yeah, I know I’ve said before that paying for digital clothing and trinkets to dress up your digital self is silly and a stupid waste of money. War never changes, sure, but my outlook on this stupid trend just might because…

On Thursday, November 26, Bethesda is releasing the following Fallout 3 items on the Xbox Avatar Marketplace:

• Vault 101 Suit — 240 MS Points
• Bethesda Game Studios Shirt — 80 MS Points
• Fallout 3 Ringer Shirt — 80 MS Points
• Vault Boy Shirt — 80 MS Points
• Vault Boy Suit — 240 MS Points
• Vault Boy Head — 80 MS Points

Of them all, the Vault 101 Suit is looking the slickest.

Overheard this convo in GameStop last night

Before hitting up Quiznos for a delicious sammich last night, I browsed through the GameStop next door for a few minutes. So many DS games, so many that I want to play and experience. I left the store empty-handed, but not before overhearing the following conversation:

Customer: How’s Modern Warfare 2?
Cashier dude: Fucking sick. Shit’s like…fuck, man. Sick.
Customer: Yeah? Sweet.
Cashier dude: But I gotta be honest with you. Assassin’s Creed II is killing it. I didn’t think it would, but it’s killing it.
Customer: You’re lying.
Cashier dude: It’s good, man. They fixed it. Like ten people traded in Warfare today for it.
Customer: Oh. Is it sick?
Cashier dude: No, I’m fine.
Customer: No, the game.
Cashier dude: Oh, yeah? Warfare‘s sick.
Customer: …

Yup.

That said, despite having some qualms with Assassin’s Creed, my interest in Assassin’s Creed II is growing. If only it wasn’t $59.99 though. Money, you do not make things easy.

Mass Effect 2 cover art is out-of-this-world lame

See?

It’s not terrible art, but it lacks a certain punch. The hero, the lady with poised gun, the multicolored alien, the lens flare…it’s all just a bit generic, which is a shame as previews would have you believe that Mass Effect 2 is bigger and better than its predecessor. The first game’s cover definitely gave off a “explore the galaxy!” vibe while this one merely says “shoot things!” and “be disgruntled!”

Oh well. Can’t win ’em all, Bioware.

BACKLOG REVIEW: Professor Heinz Wolff’s Gravity

The most obvious thing Professor Heinz Wolff’s Gravity has going for it is its art style. A mix of candy canes and Tim Burton-esque level designs, this no-frills Nintendo DS puzzler just oozes style. Background images are vivid paintings, striking to the point of distraction. Even the moody music adds to the overall atmosphere. But is it the be-all, end-all of puzzlers?

No.

To find out why, click below.

First Screenshots of Fallout Online “Project V13”

MMORPGs have never interested me. Not even ones based in Tolkien’s Middle-Earth. I know. Cah-razy, right?

That said, screenshots of a Fallout MMORPG have recently surfaced thanks to some court battles, and while it does look like a rather bleak place to spend one’s time…I’m all for it. Hope these images only mean that “Project V13” is one step closer to becoming a reality. Check out the other two shots below the cut.

Twitter, Facebook, Last.fm, and more arriving on Xbox 360 November 17

That’s right. A slew of social content is coming to Xbox Live on Tuesday, November 17, including Facebook, Twitter, Last.fm, Zune video, and a new “News and More” section, which will draw from MSNBC, The New Yorker, and Dilbert for content. Wait…Dilbert? Hmm.

Seems that the services are only available to Xbox Live Gold members but us lowly Silver users (must be 18+ for Facebook and Twitter) will be able to get a sample thanks to a Free Gold Weekend happening from Friday to Sunday. I’ll be sure to try it out and let the world know what I think of it. Personally, I still feel like much of the social shtuff such as tweeting and updating statuses will be time-consuming, awkward, and worse for wear, but let’s wait until I can actually update my status with “Just blew a Super Mutant Overlord to pieces with a Lincoln’s Repeater headshot!” before I start with the nay-saying.

Until then…

IMPRESSIONS: Left 4 Dead 2 demo

I try not to judge a book by its cover. Similarly, I try not to judge a videogame by its…heck, they are different beasts than books and by the time a game is released the public has already been spoon-fed screenshots, trailers, previews, demos, and a landfill of hype. So a videogame’s retail cover means nothing in actuality, but what I’m trying to say is that I normally shy away from the crazy, fast-paced shooters of this generation because I feel like they are just not my kind of game. I’m talking about the Halos, the Gears of Wars, the Call of Dutys, and the Left 4 Deads. Last night, I put that theory to the test.

Left 4 Dead 2 comes out on November 17, and a demo for the zombie shootathon went up on Xbox Live at the end of October. Y’know, to gets folks excited. However, being a lowly wielder of the Silver account, I had to wait until yesterday to download it. Oh, lowly me.

The demo offers up two modes of play–single player and online campaign–within one of the game’s five episodes, The Parish, with the first two sections of that episode available for exploring. There’s no story introduction, and you’re dropped off a boat next to, magically, a table of weapons. Grab your gear and go. Go where? Forward. Then the zombies swarm (or maybe not, thanks to the clever and always thinking AI director), and here’s where the problems started…for me, at least.

One, nervous and unsure of how to play, I hung back and allowed my three other teammates to dole out punishment. A single zombie did not get through so basically I just stood in a corner watching. This is equivalent to watching an in-game cinema. I did nothing.

Second, when I finally did decide to shoot some zombies I ended up hitting my teammates more often. They scolded me, and I retreated to hiding in a corner, popping off a shot only when it was clear who what I was aiming at. This only worked in the open areas, like the park and streets. Inside buildings was a no-trigger zone. Was there a button for zoom? I couldn’t figure it out.

Anyways, you’ll travel down streets, through a dark kitchen, across a shrub-heavy park, all while shooting a variety of zombies. They are fast zombies, too, some jumping on your head and others spitting Ecto Cooler at you. The graphics are colorful and strong, and the physicality of everything is pretty impressive, especially how zombies fall differently under gunfire versus melee weapons. In dark areas, the light from your flashlight makes for eerie gunfights. I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing with some of the items I found, and I just moved from place to place when it go too quiet until eventually the demo came to an end.

Then I played the demo a second time, and the entire scenario was different, which was nice. Very nice, and I slowly improved on shooting zombies. So I’ll pass on the full retail game, as I don’t have anyone to play with (and I’m assuming this is a great game for friends and such) and just replay the demo when I get a hankering for a zombie massacre.

At least now I can say with total authority that Left 4 Dead 2 is not my kind of videogame experience.

November 2009 games releases that interest me

Hmm, it is now 10 days into November, and I realized I need to learn to plan better. For one thing, I should get this list going, ehh, more at the very beginning of the month.

Anyways, slim pickings this month. Oh sure, big name games like Dragon Age: Origins and Assassin’s Creed II are dropping, but who has the moolah for those creations. Surely not me. Besides, I’ve got Fallout 3 to keep me busy on the Xbox 360 for some time now, and there’s nothing really pulling at my heartstrings this month, save for a couple DS games out there, as well as a…PS2 game?! What is this, 2003?!

Nintendo DS

Phantasy Star Zero – released on 11/10/09 (that’s today, y’all!)

Having never played a Phantasy Star game before, this looks like an okay place to start. Action RPG, sci-fi elements, anime influence. Something about a war, but I bet there’s battles involved, as well as gaining XP. Should be enough for me.

Harvest Moon DS: Sunshine Islands – released on 11/10/09 (that’s today, y’all!)

I’ve been sort of getting into farming sims lately. I blame Facebook, naturally. And at least this game’s title doesn’t make me want to vomit and run away in tears. Yes, Harvest Moon DS Cute, I’m talking about you.

Playstation 2

Jak and Daxter: The Lost Frontier – released on 11/03/09

I love me some Jak and Daxter. Truly great platforming, with the occasional shooting/racing element. Never got to play any of the PSP adventures, having stopped at Jak 3 since a full-on racing game like Jak X left me feeling empty-chested. So it’s nice to see a release for the Playstation 2 even if Jak and Daxter: The Lost Frontier might be swollen with flying elements. Given the right price, this could be a good time.

Ho-ho-hope December is a little better than this for us casual, poor videogamers…

Doesn’t Play Well with Others

While hunting around Fallout 3‘s Capital Wasteland last night for more Bobbleheads, I unlocked the following achievement after over 50 hours of total gameplay:

Doesn’t Play Well with Others (20G): Kill 300 people

And it’s true. I don’t play well with others. More interestingly, I don’t play well with critters either, as at the time this unlocked I had killed over 600 creatures, ranging from Mole Rats to Mirelurks to one or two Deathclaws. My violence record, you can now has it.