Color me content with these three new Nintendo DSi XL colors

Man, Japan just has the best Nintendo DS colors. And now they are getting three more: green, blue, and yellow. Try not to compare them to three easy-to-guess Pokemon. But still, the green one, with its black trim, looks fantastic. Alas, I have no reason to need another handheld, and I just picked up a DS Lite for Tara for her graduation. It’s the cobalt blue one, which, honestly, is okay and certainly the best of the bunch, but not the greatest color scheme under the sun. So, uh, yeah. Japan. Hurry on up and ship these across the sea. Maybe by the time they get here, I’ll have a reason to upgrade to a DSi XL. Most likely not, given the behemoth’s size, but stranger things have happened…

Not So Hopelessly Devoted to You, UNO

I needed a little distraction last night. Nothing too involving, nothing too counteractive. Just something. And so, bring on the UNO. It’s one of my favorite games to play before bed. Between the light jazzy background music and simple–if addicting–game mechanics, my eyes begin to droop after a few rounds. This is a good thing; this is what I want. What I’m saying is that I don’t play the game to become King of the Mountain.

So, when I unlocked the following Achievement last night, I couldn’t help but feel like an impostor:

Devotee (25G): Win 40 games of UNO®.

I bought UNO in June 2009. It is now June 2010. A true devotee would’ve won 40 games in maybe that first month alone. Me? Took a year. My player stats currently say this:

Wins: 40
Losses: 79

Ouchie. Well, not really. A lot of UNO is luck, with a pinch of planning and strategy. So, you win some, you lose some. Achievement-wise, all I have left is to win 10 games of UNO over Xbox Live. I believe, at this point, I’ve won three. In short, I have some grinding to do in that fashion, but it’s okay. A game or two here before bed can surely help (me fall asleep). Just hope it doesn’t take me another year to accomplish this; I only have a month of Gold access at the moment.

The guessing game within Picross 3D

There’s not actually a “guessing minigame” in Picross 3D, but this is rather just something I do as I play along. It’s silly fun, and more or less leads to wrong-if-amusing results, but it’s a compulsion, I guess, sort of like when people yell out answers to TV shows like Wheel of Fortune and Deal or No Deal. They want to be right, and they want to hear themselves being right before the point is proven (or not).

Basically, once you successfully complete a puzzle, you’re shown the basic blocky outline of the item before color and details are added, as well as the name of what it is below. During this time, a mere three seconds, I like to guess as to what it is that I just created. I’ve been wrong many, many times so far. Some examples:

I guessed helicopter; it was a bunch of grapes.

I guessed throne; it was a hand giving the peace sign.

I guessed calculator; it was a travel suitcase.

See? Pure fun. Many of the puzzles fall into themes; like, you will ultimately make all the letters of the alphabet or items that belong in an office or, much to my extreme happiness, items from Japanese culture. The backgrounds can help clue you in on things, but sometimes my mind forgets they are there and I just see what I see. I’ve done about 65 puzzles now, still on level one difficulty, but I’m enjoying them more and more as I progress, getting better and quicker at figuring out their tricks. I just gotta work on my guessing…

PURCHASES OF THE MONTH: Picross 3D and The Saboteur

Well, I caved over the weekend. Had to pick up something new before May ended, and so I nabbed Picross 3D for a cool $20.00 and a used copy of The Saboteur for $15.00. Yeah, not two games I’d really ever think of pairing together, but good deals nonetheless.

Picross 3D is a unique puzzler that, a bit to my dismay, relies heavily on math skills to solve. Me? I’m no good with the multiplication tables and such. But I’m getting the hang of it despite have trouble on some of the Beginner and Level 1 puzzles. There’s over 350 in the game, and I’ve gotten through about 50 or so at this point. Presentation is nice and unobtrusive, and you can change the game’s overall soundtrack to whatever you want…Latin, twinkly (?), calm. I locked it down on the 8-bit selection. Doot doot doot beet boot…

Also, evidently there’s a commercial for the game. And it shows a group of girls playing the game, having a blast, solving puzzles. Is this being marketed as a girl’s game and easy one, too? I should hope not. I think anyone can play it so long as they have patience.

Oh, and one puzzle solved resulted in creating a blocky dachshund. Tara liked that.

As for The Saboteur, it’s an open-world game set in Paris, France during World War II. Yup, a WWII that is not a first-person shooter. Crazy, right? What it is though is stylish and arcade-like. You play an Irishman named Sean who hates Nazis and ends up in France due to an earlier run-in with the Aryan race. He meets some other fellow Nazi haters, and the plot is on: uh, kill Nazis. Haven’t gotten too far in this one yet, but it seems like there’s a ton of things to see, do, and collect. Looking forward to exploring the world a bit more, but I can already tell that I like the map in black, white, yellow, and red much more than in full color. Once color returns, the game world sort of loses something.

Also, I ended up buying one month of Xbox Live Gold for $1.00 thanks to a spotlight advertisement. I mean, that’s a pretty rockin’ deal and so I figured to give it a shot. Now I have exactly a month to try and get some more multiplayer-only Achievements in some of my games and maybe try out co-op in Borderlands. Will have to plan accordingly.

Either way, that’s it for May. No more purchases until the end of June hits with LEGO Harry Potter: Years 1-4.

Beyond Good & Evil 2 rumored to be canceled

Rumors are spreading across the Interwebz that Michel Ancel, the man behind Beyond Good and Evil 2, left Ubisoft along with a “star developer” to form another studio in France. This would mean that the game is either in a state of purgatory or most likely canceled. Which, either way, is a shame.

Beyond Good and Evil is one of the few games I reviewed a long time back on my first attempt at a videogame blog. It’s one of those rare cases where a seriously great game went unnoticed. Thankfully, it built up a solid cult following, slowly turning that unnoticed into noticed, and a sequel was announced with the above screenshot to wet our collective snouts. You can’t not love that piggy uncle.

Under The Bad section of my review of the first game, I wrote this:

The game’s ending leaves things open for a possible sequel. Why is this in The Bad? Because a sequel will never happen. Not now, not tomorrow, not ever. And that’s just sad.

I seriously hope BG&E2 is not canned because the first game had so many wonderfully implemented features that they would only naturally get better as the game jumped to current consoles. Photographing, boat racing, action adventure, sneaking around, betrayal, cool characters, and more. Still, Beyond Good and Evil was a retail failure, and I’m sure there’s a lot of reluctancy floating around the project, but still…I want it. And I think a good number of other gamers do too.

From Bloodletter to Grand Champion in just 30 minutes

At this point, I’m kind of drifting. I’ve beaten several games now–Borderlands, Dragon Age: Origins, and Pokemon HeartGold to name a few–and don’t really plan to buy anything new until LEGO Harry Potter: Years 1-4 comes out at the end of June (though I’m not promising I won’t get something new if it is cheap and shiny enough to catch my eyes). I’m also having a hard time going back and replaying some previously beaten games; that said, I did pop back in Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion last night to see if there was anything worth doing.

And there was: the Arena.

I’m not sure why I didn’t tackle the Arena questline sooner. Maybe I was scared at what it would throw at me or maybe it was because I just was no good at confrontations during my early levels, mostly because I was relying too much on throwing fireballs. But this time around, as a bow-wielding LV. 19 Bosmer elf…well, I made quick work of all my enemies. Seriously, I went from being a Bloodletter to Myrmidon to Warrior to Gladiator to Hero to Champion to Grand Champion in under thirty minutes without getting attacked more than, oh, five times.

My strategy was simple. I zoomed in with my bow, waited for the gates to lower, and loosed an arrow or two before my challenger even got halfway across the arena. Then I hurried back inside, collected my monetary reward, and accepted the next battle to do it all over again. Rinse and repeat. Take a small break once to restock on arrows. The only fight I had trouble with was against three enemies: a soldier, an archer, and a mage, but they all fell to my glass arrows in time. Plus, my bow is powered by electricity. Don’t ask.

The last fight, the big one, the tune-in-and-watch, was against an orc. I guess he was supposed to be tough or intimidating. He wasn’t. He took four arrows to drop, but still, he didn’t even reach me at that point as I skated backwards to avoid his sword’s swing. Sigh. No challenge at all. And six easy, quick Achievements, but you really only need to see one to get the full effect:

Grand Champion, Arena (50G): Completed the Arena Questline

Upon exiting the Arena, you’re greeted by the Adoring Fan, who loves you and admires you and just wants to follow you around. Pretty annoying, and he only spoke a few lines. I told him no, but I might change my mind in the future and lead him straight into troll territory.

But yeah, Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. I should play you more. You do have a lot of “easy” Achievements left to unlock; by easy, I mean they are relatively straightforward and are just based off quest progression and not skill or luck or doing something random (like killing X deer or making X health potions with alchemy). Maybe I’ll try to finish up the Fighters Guild questline next. Or the Dark Brotherhood. Mwahaha?

I destroyed the Destroyer and all I got to show for it was this t-shirt

I’m going to be talking about the ending to Borderlands here so I’d like to mention two things up front: 1) spoilers and 2) that it was totally lame.

After you make your way safely through the Eridian Promontory, which is definitely one of the hardest areas yet thanks to the numerous flying Guardians, you’ll come across a transition map-screen that reads THE VAULT. Oooooh. Truthfully, I was a little hesitant to press X and cross over into the place my guardian angel had been talking about non-stop since I got off the bus way back in, uh, April 2010.

It’s not like the game built up the hype about the Vault too much, but rather I did. See, in my mind–and maybe this is Fallout 3‘s fault–a vault is a place that holds…stuff. Most likely important stuff. In my mind, orange-colored weapons danced like happy CL4P-TPs! I mean, I’m a treasure hunter. I want treasure.

Upon entering the Vault location–which is an odd mix of a snowy landscape and fiery mountaintop–we’re treated to a cutscene. Some woman named Steele says the contents of the Vault is hers, but no worries…a giant tentacle jumps out of the Vault’s portal door and turns her into a Siren shish kabob. Then it’s time for a big baddie boss fight. This thing is large and unmoving; it’s mostly a horribly disgusting bean bag chair with tentacles and an eye for shooting for critical hits. Did not take me long (and remember, I’m playing solo) to whittle it down; my turret threw corrosive rockets, I hid behind pillars and took pop-shots when I could, and my shields, health, and ammo all recharged as I waited. Just took patience, which I have in droves, and then kablooey, it’s dead:

Destroyed the Destroyer (50G): Killed the Vault Boss

Sweet, with the Destroyer dead I now get to loot the Vault, right? Mmm guns, guns, guns.

No. Roll credits.

I watched the credits for a bit and listened to the music, but then I hit some buttons and I was back in the game, still at the Vault’s now broken portal door. I picked up some loot from the dead Destroyer, as well as the Vault key, but there was nowhere else for me to go. Checking my questlog, I saw I had a new quest to bring the key to Tannis. So I did. And she paid me money. And then I was officially out of jobs to do. I wandered around for a bit unsure of what to do next; I even returned to the Vault to see if I’d missed a door or something. I thought there’d be treasure or something. What happened with the Vault? It opened once and out came a demon and I killed the demon and now, what, we have to wait another 200 years to try again?

If so, laaaaaaaaaame. So, so lame, Borderlands.

I know you aren’t all about story, but you most certainly are interested in rewarding the player. Except when it comes to the final payoff. Then you’re out to lunch or something.

I didn’t even know how to get into playthrough 2. Had to look it up on the Interwebz. Grrr. Basically, you just quit the game you’re in currently and when you select your character again, you get the option to continue playing in playthrough 1’s world or start again in playthrough 2. Not sure why anyone would return to a quest-less Pandora though.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that, in the end–and I assume this was supposed to be a twist or cliffhanger for Borderlands 2–one of the CL4P-TPs becomes an evil ninja assassin thanks to your guardian angel. I traveled back to Fyrestone–as that’s where it looked like it was from–but that CL4P-TP was fine and dandy, chilling at the vapid bounty board. Some things never change.

Discovered Eridian Promontory and then ran away

I’m sure my readers (all three of you) are just dying to see me get through Borderlands so I can shut up about it and move on to other ramblings about videogames. Me too, actually. But alas, I’m not done with the Capital Wasteland just yet.

I made it to the Eridian Promontory last night only to discover my assault rifle-wielding soldier is not ready to move on. That’s not a LOST metaphor either; he totally got creamed fast by two enemies at the start of the level, and so I ran away, back to New Haven, to finish up a bunch of sidequests I wasn’t interested in before. Either way, they’ll be extra experience points and maybe a new weapon or two depending on the quest rewards.

It’s funny that the enemy types don’t really get tough or more varied until you reach the Vault, which I’m assuming is pretty much end-of-game time. Besides numerous Crimson Lance soldiers, the zone is flooded with Guardians, which, depending on your level and skill set, can be a whole new bag of tricks. They got shields, they got speed, and they got you gasping for a Second Wind before you know it. Again, having a co-op player in these sorts of situations is much desired. Alas, my pillows have no opposable thumbs and so I’m out of luck there.

That said, going back to do some of these sidequests was almost downright silly. Bandits barely touched me, and I flew through everything without a single worry of being taken down. Overpowered in one place, underpowered in another. The mantra of RPGs, I guess.

I’m somewhere around the middle of level 35/36, I think. Not sure when a good time to return to the Eridian Promontory is or whether it’s just me and the set of guns I’m using, but I will try again shortly. Gotta get inside the vault and discover what secrets it holds! Speculative spoiler: I bet it’s more guns.

Breaking news: I bought the farm

…and by that I mean I removed the FarmVille app from my Facebook profile and no longer have to click, click, click until every crop has been harvested, every animal has been tended to, and every job has been done. It’s quite a relief actually, but truth be told…I was never a good farmer to begin with.

I signed up for FarmVille like countless others did sometime last year, curious to its appeal. I quickly found myself plowing some land and planting my first seeds. The crops grow in real time, meaning eight hours means eight actual hours. So once you plant your crops, you basically have to wait to get more money to plant more crops. Yup, it’s a cycle, and the cycle certainly can be addicting if you’re into that sort of work/reward process. While you wait, your avatar can decorate your farm with an assortment of farm-like and unfarm-like items, ranging from barns to hot air balloons to themed statues. You can also visit your neighbors (i.e., Facebook friends) and check out their farms, fertilizing their crops and feeding their chickens. But other than that, you must wait. And this will be how you play FarmVille for the first few weeks. It’s not until you level up considerably and get a decent chunk of change can you really design your farm to your heart’s content and focus on the crops you most enjoy growing.

But then the game plateaus. For me, this was around level 25.

At this point, FarmVille tried too hard to cater to every kind of gamer, casual and not. It threw in collections and ribbons (basically Achievements) and co-op gameplay and pet owning and headshots and tea-bagging and so on. The game also basically made it really hard to play without interacting constantly with neighbors and posting BS to your Facebook’s wall. In all of my 33 levels of farm powers, I might have posted a total of four items publicly; my sister made me do it. It’s not fun to do, and I feel annoying even just thinking about it. Sorry, Facebookers.

And so, just recently, I realized I hadn’t logged into my farm for a few days. My crops surely had withered away. My trees were most certainly all full of fruit, all ripe for the picking. I can see all my animals, all of them stuck forever in place, waiting for me to collect their feathers, calm them down, or gather up ice cubes. It seemed like too much for me, and I was not ultimately happy with the layout of my farm, feeling stuck; that said, I was also too lazy to start anew, and so my next option was to cut loose, set them free, and find something else worth clicking about on.

The app was removed in a matter of seconds, no bells and whistles, no hoops to jump through. Surprisingly easy.

I’ve always been curious about the Harvest Moon games, and I might have to try one of them out soon. Farming simulation can be fun, but for me…I need a little more direction than just plant, harvest, plant, harvest, plant, harvest, and plant, harvest.

Celebrate Pac-Man’s 30th birthday with Google

To celebrate Pac-Man‘s thirtieth birthday (that’s three followed by a zero for my fellow mathematicians), Google has redesigned their logo in its honor. Very, very cool. But wait! There’s more. You can play Pac-Man, too, right there and then, thanks to some magical widget voodoo. Click “insert coin” and use the arrow keys to move around. Click “insert coin” a second time, and you can control a second Pac-Man on the board. Niiiiiice.

Seriously, no one will do any work today, and Google is to blame. Not Pac-Man. Pac-Man doesn’t kill work efficiency; Google giving us quick and easy Pac-Man kills work efficiency.

Don’t try clicking “insert coin” in the above image. Head over to Google right now for the real thing!