The times, they are a-changing

I missed updating Grinding Down this past Thursday and Friday. There’s a reason for that. It wasn’t just because I had nothing to muse about (I generally always do), and it wasn’t because my head just on a Scott Pilgrim holiday or anything. It has to do with something I can’t talk about publicly.

I’ve tried to create a schedule of sorts here. The plan, never truly laid groundwork, was to always update once a day, every weekday. Not too hard, really, considering I’m usually always playing videogames the nights before and have lots to say. It could be a review or just some open commentary or even a Top 5 list thingy. However, currently, I can’t do that kind of schedule any more. I will, however, continue to publish posts when I can. Like right now. And maybe another tomorrow. It’s all gonna be a mystery now. Just be aware that these changes are actually for the better; for instance, I’m getting married in almost two months!

But yeah. Some stuff that I’d like to talk about real soon here includes:

  • The Secret Armory of General Knoxx DLC
  • Random battles, the good, the bad, and the unneeded
  • Doing a first hour (well, first 30 minutes) writeup of a borrowed DS game for The First Hour
  • Grinding (gee, what a shock!)
  • Scott Pilgrim VS. The World (the movie, not the game just yet)

Keep your eyes peeled, dear readers. Just not every weekday.

ClapTrap’s Robot Revolution set to take over Borderlands

Hey, remember all those broken robots in Borderlands you fixed to get backpacks to increase your inventory space so you could carry more crazy-colored loot? Well, they’d like to say thanks. All of them. Plus some new friends. By shooting you in the face. Repeatedly. Hey-o!

That’s right. There’s even more DLC coming to Borderlands, and it’s playing off of something hinted at once the final boss was taken down. Personally, I thought that was gonna be what the sequel used as inspiration, but I’m okay with DLC as it means less money to spend, but more gameplay to devour. Seems like it’s about an army of ClapTraps that want to wage war against the Hyperion Corporation. The Vault hunters just kind of get caught in the middle of everything. There will be 20 new missions, along with new robot-themed enemies including Crab-traps, Skag-traps, and Raak-traps. What, no Badass Pyscho Midget-traps? Hmmph. Ten more skill points can be earned, as well as three extra backpack slots for extra extra loot. Mmm. I’m guessing there’ll be new Achievements, too.

This is so awesome. I love me some ClapTraps. Heck, I even drew one dancing back in the day when I first got the game. See:

Oh yeaaaaah. I’m dancing, too.

ClapTrap’s Robot Revolution will hit PC, Xbox 360, and PlayStation 3 in September, where it’ll cost $9.99. I hope to have the General Knoxx DLC completed by then, with my Soldier dude hopefully around LV 53-55.

If I was on LOST, I’d most certainly get blown up

So…Wordpress decided to change the Cutline theme, which Grinding Down has used since its very birth, replacing it with what you see now. Very similar, but there’s also some minute changes. Plus, all my sidebar widgets got thrown out of whack, and now I need to redo them all. Ugh. Annoying as all gets. But it’s not going to happen just yet. I will fiddle around with it later on, so don’t mind the mess, dear readers, as it is.

To add to the explosion heap is, well, craziness at the dayjob–which I can’t discuss–and then so much to do every minute of every day to get this wedding in order, as well as life, and the life of others. Seriously. I have this to-do list written down, and every time I cross something off…I add two more items. That’s not how sanity works, ‘kay?

If I was to relate the above image to something videogame-like, I’d mention that I played some more Red Faction: Guerrila last night. And things exploded. Felt good. I just needed to run around and knock buildings over. Let me be. Maybe tomorrow there will be more interesting content here, but I can’t promise y’all the world.

Paul, out!

[Full Gamerscore] UNO

So…full Gamerscore earned for UNO; all 12 Achievements pinged and proudly captured; blah blah blah yadda ya I’m the man blah blah. It happened last night, and I slept quite soundly thanks to it. I polished off a few more rounds of online multiplayer, thus securing the final Achievement and telling the world that, yes, I am a UNO shark. Feels good to finally have another game fully completed that isn’t LEGO-based.

Anyways, reviewing the list of Achievements, it’s clear this isn’t exactly a tough 200 to get. Most just come naturally with time, and the ones that took the longest for me involved playing online games…because I was a Silver member of Xbox Live for a great while.

Favorite Achievement


Skip to My Lou (15G): Play 40 Skip cards.

Skipping an opponent is a lot of fun. I enjoy it more than Reversing or even making them Draw 4 and lose a turn. Skipping just has this quick satisfaction to it, and I love the Achievement’s artwork. Makes me want to throw some rocks across a lake now.

Easiest Achievement


UNO! (10G): Successfully call UNO! and win the game.

This is basically how you win a game…though I guess you could win without calling UNO! but that might get you in trouble with other opponents, forcing you to draw two more cards. Best to just call it and then seal the deal.

Hardest Achievement


UNO Shark (30G): Win ten 4-player games of UNO®, in any mode, on Xbox Live.

It’s the last one I got. Some nights, I’d play two to three games and not win a single one. This is because some people like to play up to 250 points, which is not easy to win in one fell swoop. Other times, I’d be in a game where the first person to go out wins, and that made things easier. Either way, this one required patience and a lot of diligence.

Yay…full Gamerscore! UNO! It excites me to now see a new entry on my Xbox Live dashboard under the fully completed titles section. Maybe I should try to finish up Shadow Complex next, since that’s the closest. Or Winterbottom. One of those. We’ll see. So much more games to play, so little time and sanity left.

It’s the age of industry in Fable III, and the chickens aren’t pleased

The Fable series sure loves its chickens. Well, I can’t actually speak for the first game as I’ve never played it, but Fable II had a lot of chicken-related things going on. You could kick them for an Achievement, kick them for a bonus in the Coliseum battle place, you could sacrifice baby chicks to represent how true evil operates, and you could dress up like one because…well, everybody has their quirks. But yeah, they were there, hopping around some of the towns, adding life and personality.

Times are a-changing for Fable III. The kingdom of Albion is embracing the age of industry, and cogs and machines and factories are just about everywhere. But chickens always remain constant, and as our narrator tells us, the oppression of the common person is at the heart of the story. Thus, the chicken. It, too, can be oppressed, be a hero, and it just takes one hero to get an uprising started. The intro shows just how far one can fight back, and it certainly is an interesting journey to watch unfold.

Check out the opening cinema sequence from Fable III due out this Fall:

I think for lunch today I’ll get a crispy chicken sandwich in its honor. Wait, what? That’s not how “honoring” it works? Too bad. No arguing with my tummy. Om nom nom…

The Top Five Punniest Monsters in Dragon Quest IX

Look, if you’ve been hanging out here at Grinding Down for some time now, then you know one certain thing about me: I love puns. Heck, I even tag a bunch of my entries with “pun” so I can quickly go back and chuckle at my–or someone else’s–witty writing. It’s a writer thing, and I probably have Piers Anthony’s Xanth series to blame; I devoured every book I could buy by him in high school, finally stopping around book #24, The Dastard. Seems like more have come out though, but I’ve outgrown his writing.

So it’s a good thing I love puns because otherwise…Dragon Quest IX would be nearly unbearable. It’s safe to say that the tiny DS cartridge is bloated with puns, both good and bad, and they are around every corner, whether it’s a town’s name (::cough cough:: Alltrades Abbey ::cough::) or people like Edwinn and Erinn, inn runners and Inny winners, or even at the very beginning of the story, at a place called Angel Falls, whereat the main character, an angel, falls down to after some havoc happens up above.

Where the puns really come out in full zombie mode though are with the monsters. An RPG has to have monsters to battle, and there’s a lot here, the majority pun-heavy. Some are better than others, and yes, I’ll openly admit that many are big ol’ groaners. But there’s a few that make me smile each and every time I run into them. Let’s review, shall we?

5. Cruelcumber

Oh my goodness! Just look at it! I want to hug it and smother it with love and then slice it into a dozen pieces for my salad and tuna fish sammich. It has a goofy look, sure, but it also has the best death animation. The Cruelcumber bounces onto its back, spear flying high into the air and then piercing its vegetable heart. But yeah, plant-based monsters really do get the pick of the crop…when it comes to puns. Nyuck nyuck nyuck!

4. Sacksquatch

I couldn’t find a picture of this monster online, sadly. Basically, it’s a sack, like a sack of grain or flour, and it is spewing life from a huge hole in its body. I guess it is its mouth, but it does kind of resemble a certain mysterious beast of the forest.

3. Betterfly

Betterfly is a stronger version of Batterfly, a monster modeled after a butterfly. It’s an easy pun, yes, but it works. I mean, you can’t go around calling butterfly monsters things like Evil Butterfly or Death-from-Abovefly or 666erfly. Just doesn’t work. Alas, there is no Bitterfly in the game. I checked.

2. Cyclown

It’s a clown-like monster cycloning its way over to kill you. Come to think about it, that’s actually quite terrifying. Run!

1. Knocktopus


No picture found, but it isn’t anything special to look at. Just another octopus monster you’ll fight once you get a boat and start heading for open waters. But this punny name makes sense. I mean, they have eight arms…there’s bound to be some knocking around when words no longer settle arguments. A later cousin monster is, embarrassingly, called Shocktopus, which I won’t even touch upon.

Runner-ups include: Badboon, Salamarauder, Zumeanie, Bewarewolf, and Expload

To see a whole bunch of monster art, visit the official Dragon Quest IX Nintendo website.

Level up, level down, level me all around

Right. There’s a slew of games in my collection that are demanding I level up my character(s) to a set mark. Most of these are just to get Achievements, but they will also help bring about closure in my mind, as sense of completion, and then I can move these games aside and tackle other projects. Let’s take a look at few in my collection and see what they need of me…

Borderlands

There’s three checkmarks I need to hit by leveling up now, and they are Level 50, Level 51, and finally Level 60. It’s gonna be a slow climb, especially since I played some single player Knoxx DLC last night and managed to only go from Level 43 to a wee bit into Level 44. Might need some co-op help here. Hmm…

Shadow Complex

Gotta take Jason Whateverlastname up to Level 50. This one has been frustrating because it’s the last Achievement I need to unlock to get the full 200 Gamerscore. But I’ve played the game three times now and it’s just not as much fun running back and forth shooting the same dudes over and over and over…

Fallout 3

Besides one Achievement that puts me to the annoying task of finding 100 steel ingots (ugh), I also have to hit Level 30 with evil karma, and then play through the game a third time for the neutral karma Achievements set to ping at Level 8, Level 14, Level 20, and finally Level 30. I’m worried I won’t ever get the time and passion to do this. And I love Fallout 3. But it’s all about the time management right now.

Dragon Age: Origins

There’s three level-specific Achievements in this one, and I was lucky enough to unlock one of ’em during my first playthrough. The other two are for reaching Level 20 as a warrior and rogue. Considering how long the game is (and slow)…I just don’t know if this is feasible. Every time I think about having to do that Circle of the Magi loyalty mission again my body caves in on itself. Seriously, being stuck in the Fade for like three hours? Who thought this was a rockin’ good time? Speak up!

Mass Effect

A character–doesn’t have to be Shepard, I think, but most likely will be–still needs to hit Level 50 and Level 60. Hahaha. I think I’m somewhere around Level 40ish on a second playthrough that I walked away from some months back. There’s still so much I need to do in this game that it’s kind of crazy I even completed it once.

Dragon Quest IX: Sentinels of the Starry Skies

In order to obtain extra side missions, I need to reach certain level checkpoints with specific vocations. It seems the sweet spots right now are for Level 15 and then Level 40. Got a ways to grind still. I don’t mind this for the vocations I currently am using, but the idea of switching jobs and resetting to Level 1…it’s not that the game isn’t fun, it’s just that that kind of devotion doesn’t exist inside of me. Same reason I’ve only collected 90 or so Pokemon in HeartGold; there’s playing a game and then there’s completely obsessing over obtaining every item, every spell, every skill, and so on. I used to do this (hello, Ratchet and Clank!), but can no longer…sadly.

Maybe this is my just desserts though for enjoying and playing way too many RPGs.

REVIEW: Limbo

When I think about limbo–the speculative idea about the afterlife condition, not the videogame–I think about The Twilight Zone‘s “Five Characters in Search of an Exit,” which, while not the scariest of episodes, is the most disturbing in my book. It’s certainly had a lasting effect on me. The episode’s title really says it all: five characters want out. They are each unique–a clown, a hobo, a ballet dancer, a bagpiper, and an army major–and they find themselves stuck at the bottom of some foreign place with seemingly no escape. Together, through talk and trial, they begin to gather clues about where they are and, more importantly, why they are there. As expected, there’s a twist ending, and it’s a good one, but it’s the musings of the clown and the heated passion of the army man that really stick out in my mind here. One accepts, and the other challenges. Is this place their limbo? Their lingering spot before heaven or hell or something entirely new? It could be; it’s confined and maddening, bleak with little hope, and there’s strange noises and happenings taking place just out of reach or sight; and there’s a clown, and if ever a limbo existed, it existed with clowns.

When I think about Limbo the videogame, I also think about The Twilight Zone‘s “Five Characters in Search of an Exit” and…spiders and eyeless children and death and loneliness and buzzsaws and gravity flipswitches and pain and torment and colorless cityscapes and and and…and so much more. This game has a lot to offer, and it’s an amazing little package that is all about the gutpunch. Glory is for suckers.

Though it’s never openly said, the plot in Limbo consists of a young boy waking up in a mysterious forest and then going out to find his missing sister. That’s basically it, and that’s what you’ll read if you skim the product description before downloading this XBLA title. Though this trek won’t be easy. The world–or state of being–in which Limbo takes place is full of dangers, and a sharp eye and ear are your best bets for survival. Quick fingers, too. Though you will “die” a lot because, sometimes, that’s the only way to learn. At first, the dangers are very organic, but as you progress they will change to man-made devices, which, honestly, was a little disappointing. I’d rather run from a creepy-as-creepy-gets spider than jump a dozen buzzsaws any day.

Limbo is twofold: a puzzler and a platformer. Each go hand-in-hand with one another, but neither outshines the other. The puzzles start out really great, with spiders and beartraps and spiked pitfalls, but they slowly turn into very, hmm, puzzle-like puzzles, with switch flipping and gravity zones to master. Like stuff pulled more from Braid or The Misadventures of P.B. Winterbottom. Didn’t feel as natural, more forced than anything else. Then there’s the actual hopping about; it works for the most part, but it’s awfully difficult to judge jumping distances, as well as the fact that the boy is a bit slow on climbing. He’s a slow runner, too, but that’s not as big of a deal…except when giant spiders are a-chasing.

Where Limbo excels is, obviously, its presentation. Hard to miss its unique take on afterlife noir. This is no The Saboteur, with black and white and some color; it’s totally void of anything vibrant, and there’s just blackness and the white eyes of the boy and a lot of gray in the background. It’s stark and unnerving, as well as hard to navigate at times. Some ledges and traps are difficult to make out just because it’s black on black, causing too much frustration and wandering back and forth. A lot of the set pieces are well done, especially the HOTEL sign and forest, and there has to be something said about the use of music within. Or should I say lack of music. It’s used sparingly, but to great effect. Seriously, play this game in total darkness with the sound turned UP. You’re welcome.

Limbo‘s game length has been already discussed at length. Many feel that, for its $15.00 price tag, it is too short. That three to four hours is not enough. However, it can last someone as long as they’d like it to, really; me, I probably played it for a total of five to seven hours before seeing the ending. And I’m satisfied with that amount. It was an engaging game, sucking me in and not letting me out until I hit a puzzle that stumped me, but I was pleased to have those breaks. It made it more enjoyable returning to continue on. There’s a bunch of Achievement eggs to collect too, and most of them are not very obvious so, after seeing some online vids, I have them to go back and get. There’s not much replay value after that, but I would like to play the game again for Tara (or get her to play it)…just to see the spider in action. So, yeah, there’s that.

To close, Limbo is a wonderfully haunting experience, something that must be played and conquered, and I recommend it wholly. Expect a lot of clones to hit over the next year, and expect none of them to do what Limbo did best: be memorable.

Here’s how the Dragon Quest IX meet-up party went down

I had it all planned out.

My car, Bullet, is due for inspection this month of August. It’s very first inspection, actually, and since the beginning of the spring I’ve noticed my steering wheel shaking a lot when I’d tap the brakes after doing 50 mph or higher. Kinda scary, most likely an attribute that could get Bullet failed. So I decided to bring it over to the mall and drop it off for some maintenance work. No biggie, because this was also the day that Nintendo-sponsored Dragon Quest IX event parties were happening nationwide in GameStops high and low. I’d just bring my DS with me and kill some time that way…while also grabbing a rare treasure map. That’s all I cared about; sorry fellow DQIXers, but I don’t want to go co-op questing with you.

So, the event, which I only knew about from the Internet and even then knew very little about it, was to start at 12 and go to about 4:00 in the afternoon. I had about an hour or so to blah-blah away so I went into the mall, found a comfy couch, and sat down to grind for XP and alchemy items. I must have been playing for about 30 minutes before I looked up and to my left. This is what I saw:

I laughed out loud. The old lady across from me sneered.

Noon hit, I entered Tag Mode and put my DS in my pocket, and then shuffled over to the nearest GameStop, hoping to pick up the map or tag some random adventurers and then get out quick. There was no one in the store. I felt kind of odd just going up and down the aisles. Eventually, I left, returned to the couch, and checked my DS to see how much awesomeness I had downloaded: 0%. Ouch.

Tara and her mom were coming back past the mall after doing her wedding gown fitting at David’s Bridal so we all had lunch together. I nom nommed on a Subway sandwich and also heard back from the car place; my drum rotor needed fixing and it would probably be completed by 3:00. Tara’s mom left to head home, and then Tara and I took a walk around the mall, eventually heading back to that GameStop from before (note: this mall has two GameStops, one on the first floor and one on the second floor, and it seems a bit overdone if you ask me). I asked the guy behind the counter if they were participating in the Dragon Quest IX meet-up party event thing, and his expression showed pure confusion. He had no idea. Looking up stuff online, which took a bit because they don’t actually have full Internet browsers there, he learned that the GameStop outside the mall and down by Walmart was the one hosting an event. Ah…okay.

I figured if I didn’t get there and get the silly little map then no biggie. It’s just a game. Tara and I then headed over to PetSmart (or is it PetsMart?) because they were having an adoption day. So many adorable dogs and cats, and if I had the room and time and money to care for them, I’d catch adopt ’em all. Then we hit up Target for a bit, finally making our way back to Sears to see how my car was doing; it was done, almost exactly at 3:00, as if magic was at work.

Sheepishly, I asked my fiancée something like this, “Can we just stop real quick at the other GameStop so I can get this DQ map? I’m sorry you’re marrying a little boy.”

She said yes. It has to be clear why I love her so much, right?

This GameStop was much more active, and it was obvious from stepping inside that an event of some sort was happening. I entered Tag Mode in my car before coming in, and as soon as I checked it I saw I had canvassed a guest named NOA1. A Nintendo rep in a blue slime shirt came over, explained what to do next after bringing in NOA1 to my inn, and chatted a bit about the event so far. He said some kids came in earlier with all LV 99 characters; my LV 26 Hadwynnn openly weeped. After getting the treasure map, the rep gave me a poster and some stickers. Tara and I left after that because, as I mentioned before, I was just there for the map and not really to socialize, but it looked like there was plenty of that going on already.

So yeah, it had some hiccups, but the event worked out pretty well. I know DQIX is a much harder sell here in the United States than in Japan, but I think these weekly events can only do good for the game. Next week, there’s one at Best Buys around the country. We’ll see if I can make it to that one, too…

Oh, and that rare treasure map? It’s basically an epic boss fight, and this boss wiped out my entire party in two turns. Don’t think I’m ready for it just yet. Maybe I never will be. But I’m glad to have it in my collection nonetheless.

So far, 14 games beaten in the year 2010

Technically, this is the sort of post I should have done around the end of June, but I’m a bit slow with these things, and so here it is nonetheless. We’re now definitely halfway through the year 2010, and I thought it’d be neat to stroll back through time and count up the number of games I’ve beaten at this point.

Beaten.

Sometimes, in the world of videogames, that concept is hard to pinpoint. I mean, at what point does someone beat an MMORPG like World of Warcraft? Is it when they reach a level cap or actually run out of in-game missions? How would one define beating UNO, a multiplayer-heavy arcade game that has no main quests to complete? So, for a lot of these games, I think I have to just use my better judgment and decide if completing enough of a game equals beating it. One easy clue is that, most often, a game on the Xbox 360 will have an Achievement tied to beating it, and so if that’s unlocked I will definitely check it off (there’s one exception to this, which you can read about below).

Not surprisingly, all games beaten in the year 2010 for me were either on the Xbox 360 or the Nintendo DS…

Xbox 360

  • LEGO Indiana Jones 2: The Adventure Continues
  • Serious Sam HD: The First Encounter (something wonky happened and the “you beat the game!” Achievement never popped, grrr)
  • BioShock
  • SEGA Superstars Tennis (I basically played every single thing on this so it’s considered beaten)
  • Dragon Age: Origins
  • The Misadventures of P.B. Winterbottom
  • The Saboteur
  • Peggle (um, I completed the main campaign, just not all the side challenges yet)
  • Street Fighter II’ HF
  • Borderlands
  • Limbo

Nintendo DS

  • Hidden Mysteries Titanic: Secrets of the Fateful Voyage
  • Pokemon HeartGold (I beat the first region and the Fab Four or whatever they were called, and have now unlocked the second region, as well as a lot of post-game material)
  • TouchMaster 3

14 if my math is correct. That’s okay, but for some reason, I expected more in the Nintendo DS category. Maybe I’m just going crazy. Or forgetting a bunch. Oh wells.

There’s a couple of games I’m really close to beating, but still need more time with. Namely, The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks, Picross 3D (I’d like to get over the 200 puzzles mark for this one), LEGO Harry Potter: Years 1-4 (this is going slower than many might have expected from me, but that’s because I’m playing the whole thing co-op with Tara), and ‘Splosion Man.

Gamers often fall into the trap of buying more games before completing the ones they’re already working on, and yes, I’ve hit that hump too. However, with money and time becoming a bigger issue right now, I’d really love to work on clearing out more of the backlog. There’s pretty much only two games on my must-buy list (Scott Pilgrim VS. The World: The Videogame and Fallout: New Vegas), and so I will climb this backlog mountain, hand over foot, until sweet victory washes over me like a morning breeze, and then–and only then–will I strike my victory pose.