A million Claptrap parts is still not enough for Patricia Tannis

I used to love Claptraps. Y’know, those adorable, dancing robot thingies that would give you more inventory space or provide you with access to hidden weapon caches. I even drew them from time to time. And now the romance is over, thanks to the mission flow in Claptrap’s New Robot Revolution, the last bit of DLC for Borderlands.

Upon arrival in Tartarus Station, players meet up with Tannis in her secret workshop. She’s trying to build something and needs claptrap parts to get it done. Thus, you’re given the first mission of the DLC:

• Patricia Tannis needs parts to build her magnificent…something. Head down to the Hyperion Dump and search the scrapped claptraps for parts and bring them back to her. (Clap-Components: 0/5)

Okay, five parts. That should be easy enough, and it is. You head off to the Hyperion Dump to shoot up seemingly endless swarms of angry Claptraps. As their robot bodies explode, they drop parts like gears, wires, and motherboards. Five are quickly acquired, but picking up extra parts don’t add to your collection. In fact, you can’t even really tell how many you have as nothing is actually listed in your inventory. Which sucks considering the next quest from Tannis is this:

• Tannis needs some more parts to complete her creation’s Infinite Improbability Drive. If you can’t find any lying around, just rip them out of some claptrap spines. (Clap-Components: 0/42)

That means any extra parts you previously picked up are nulled. There’s no point in gathering more than what is needed. Kind of stupid in terms of a design process, but whatever. It’s not like we’re gonna have to collect a stadium-load more of these things, right? On to the next quest!

• Tannis needs more parts to ensure the protection grid holds on her device’s ecto-containment unit, safeguarding against total protonic reversal, which would be extraordinarily bad. (Clap-Components: 0/75)

Dammit. Enter Hyperion Dump, shoot Claptraps, exit Hyperion Dump, enter again, rinse and repeat and feel bored. Gee, I wonder what the next quest will be?

• The “popcorn” setting on Tannis’ device is malfunctioning. Well, it’s not so much malfunctioning as creating deadly mutant corn. A few more parts should fix that! (Clap-Components: 0/100)

Oh boy. Good, good. I haven’t collected claptrap parts in ages.

• Just a few more parts and Tannis’ magnum opus shall be revealed! Tremble in fear at the might of Tannis and her fearsome…what is this thing, anyway? (Clap-Components: 0/150)

Go sleep with a badmutha skag, Tannis. You suck.

Let’s do some math. That’s a total of 372 claptrap parts collected. The most frustrating aspect though is that you simply can’t collect claptrap parts as a collectible. Only during these missions do they matter, and once you’ve acquired your target number, the rest are voided of purpose. I know for sure I could have cleared a few of these missions out faster if I’d been allowed to use the previous parts I found while out on the hunt. Would it really have been terribly hard, 2K/Gearbox, to design a slot in your inventory for claptrap parts? Me thinks not.

So, the first five missions in the DLC are a straight collect-a-thon, and not a very fun one at that. And all that work results in Tannis building an android version of herself so she won’t be so lonely anymore. Um…what?

The Collector (50G): Completed Tannis’ crazy request

Crazy disappointing to be more exact.

[Intimidate] You will simply love this post about intimidating in Dragon Age: Origins

I’ve been working very hard at Dragon Age: Origins recently. In fact, just the other night, Natia, our hard-as-nails dwarven Grey Warden, preserved the Anvil of the Void, sided with Bhelen to get the steel men on our side, and then had some decent sex with Leliana after listening to the bard prattle on and on for, lack of a better word, ages. That’s all well and good, but what I was more excited to see Natia accomplish was the following:

Menacing (20G): Succeeded at 10 difficult Intimidate attempts

See, Dragon Age: Origins is all about the dialogue options. That’s BioWare’s thingy. Mass Effect allowed you to go down the paragon or renegade path by choosing different ways to answer folks. The same thing exists in Ferelden. Characters can either be persuaded or intimidated, the former being the nicer route and the latter a little more direct and threatening. On my first playthrough, I went with the nice personality, and quickly got the persuasive Achievement. This time around, I knew I wanted to go after the intimidate one, and so I made sure to construct Natia in the right manner. The odd thing was that I’m positive I did well over 10 intimidate options before unlocking this Achievement, which leads me to believe that some are classified as more “difficult” than others.

And here’s where the problem sits: how does one know if it’s a difficult intimidate option or not?

I mean, the dialogue option that helped unlock Menacing was about forcing a scared little boy to give us a key to a treasure chest in his mother’s bedroom. Pretty sure the nicest, sweetest, kindest old man in Orlais could intimidate a youngling like that. However, it was a “difficult” attempt. Guess it has more to do with behind-the-scenes dice rolling than anything story-related, but still, I’d like to know a bit more before trying out anything. Fallout: New Vegas handled it decently if a bit perfunctory for its skill checks, and Dragon Age: Origins could do it in the same vein, with a percentage of success or a visible indication that there’s no way the option will work.

At least going forward on Natia’s quest to save Ferelden from the darkspawn, I won’t feel compelled to immediately select the intimidate option. Sure, I might…because roleplaying her as a cut-your-throat badass dwarf (with a hidden soft side) is a lot of fun. If only I could intimidate Alistair into getting down and funky with a dwarf; I think I missed my chance to woo him as he’s disapproved of a lot of group actions. Wah.

GAMES I REGRET PARTING WITH: Bubsy in Claws Encounters of the Furred Kind

The 1990s were a crazy time. I mean, two of the biggest mascots were a plumber and an anthromorphic hedgehog with super speed. And gaming companies left and right were vying for their own position in mascot mecca. Some faired better than others. Remember Rocky Rodent? Chester Cheetah? Boogerman? Cool Spot? For your sake, I surely hope you don’t.

Accolade, Inc. entered the mascot gauntlet in 1993 with Bubsy, a bobcat that…uh, was full of catchphrases and snark. Starring in the awkwardly titled Bubsy in Claws Encounters of the Furred Kind, the bouncy bobcat is on a mission to stop a race of fabric-stealing aliens called “Woolies”; they have stolen the world’s yarn ball supply, but more vital is that they stole Bubsy’s personal collection, the largest yet to be seen. Yes, we all know cats love balls of yarn. However, Bubsy is a bobcat, and I think they like to maul small animals. Just a minor difference in the end.

Bubsy in Claws Encounters of the Furred Kind takes place over five unique worlds, each with three levels. The Woolies and accompanying enemies change their look with each world, but otherwise the gameplay remains the same: a lot of platforming. World 1 is sort of a generic homelands, focusing on houses and water slides and underground tunnels. World 2 is an amusement park. World 3 stars a train in the Wild West setting. World 4 is something akin to national wildlife park, with trees being chopped down and gysers spouting. And naturally, World 5 takes place in outer space.

My least fond, but most strongest memories from adventuring with Bubsy are  1) that he would just not shut up and 2) that the game’s soundtrack was a bit of mess. First, let’s talk about talking. At the beginning of every level, Bubsy made an attempt at being cute or catchy. Here, check ’em all out:

• What could possibly go wrong? – Cheesewheels of Doom
• Did I mention I don’t like heights? – Forbidden Plummet
• More like a bridge too short. – A Bridge Too Fur
• Hey, whatever blows your hair back! – Fair Conditioning
• Hey, I thought I saw Elvis back there! – Night of the Bobcat
• Shouldn’t that be ‘fearless’? Uh-oh… – Our Furless Leader
• Well, it worked for Clint. – The Good, The Bad and the Woolies
• Go ahead, make my day! – A Fistful of Yarn
• My contract does not mention pain! – Dances with Woolies
• Hey, I didn’t write this stuff!!! – Beavery Careful
• Next time, I get a stunt-cat! – Rock around the Croc
• Is there a veternarian in the audience? – Claws for Alarm
• That’s it! I’m outta here! You can’t make me. – Eye of the Bobcat
• What, and give up show business? – No Time for Paws
• Somebody dial 911!!! – Lethal Woolie
• Whoah, are you still playing this thing?! – A Farewell to Woolies

Man, look at all those puns. Really, I’m not against them. As a writer, I’m bound by an unwritten law to at least admire puns. However, hearing Bubsy constantly crank out these sayings can really drive one batty. Especially since, back then, I never got past the second world (at least that I can recall), that meant hearing the first five or six sayings over and over again. Go ahead and say “What could possibly go wrong?” in a really nasily voice ten times in a row and then tell me you love life.

Now for the music. It was bubbly and erratic, and suffered greatly from changing tones on the drop of a dime. For example, Bubsy is just bouncy along, collecting yarn to some chippy tunes when all of sudden he’s fallen into a waterslide part, and the soundtrack changes dramatically to the ilk often used to represent TOTAL DOOM. The strange thing is that hopping out of the waterslide does not deter the music, and it will continue to follow Bubsy until the game believes all is well in Woolieland.

That said, I really did love platforming with Bubsy. Bouncing really high into the air in any level and then floating down to the unknown was always thrilling. In fact, it’s one of the very first things you can do in the game, using a tree’s branch at the opening screen to shoot directly into the sky. Sometimes you’d land safely on the ground; sometimes you’d drift over to a secret area full of collectible yarn balls; and sometimes you’d fall into an open slice of water to drown. Bobcats can’t swim. It’s true, just ask Animal Planet. I also loved all the hidden areas and ways to move forward, like using the interlinked cave system or simply running forward. The graphics were extremely colorful and fun, offering a variety of enemies and items to go along with each world’s setting. It taught me a good amount about judging jumps and taking chances.

Alas, finding an actual SNES copy is probably pretty hard. And after the trainwreck that was Bubsy 3D, the franchise fizzled and was forcibly forgotten by all involved. There’s not even a downloadable version available via the Nintendo Wii. To answer Bubsy’s question from the very last level of the game, no. Sadly, I’m not.

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GAMES I REGRET PARTING WITH is a regular feature here at Grinding Down where I reminisce about videogames I either sold or traded in when I was young and dumb. To read up on other games I parted with, follow the tag.

FIRST HOUR REVIEW – The Hobbit

If you’re an attentive Grinding Down reader, then you’ll clearly remember me picking up The Hobbit (GameCube version) recently. Well, I’ve now played the first sixty minutes of it, and you can read about all the exciting stuff that happened during said time over at The First Hour: http://firsthour.net/first-hour-review/the-hobbit

When asked if I’d continue playing, I answered “yes.” Alas, I’ve yet to dive back into The Hobbit and sneak past those three trolls, but I will. All in due time. Hey, Frodo didn’t destroy the One Ring in a day after all!

Felicia Day is Tallis, the snarky, Elven assassin

Felicia Day just announced today that she’s starring in a new, six-part webseries based on the Dragon Age video game series, which will come out later this year. She’s playing Tallis, an elven assassin hired by the Qunari to find a rogue mage who is pretty much up to no good. She won’t be tracking down this mage alone either, backed by a varied band of followers. It’s a little hard to tell from press releases and interviews with Day if this is gonna be a serious webseries or something less heavy…or something in-between. I mean, between Alistair and Morrigan, there was actually a lot of snark in Dragon Age: Origins.

I’m not a watcher of The Guild, as World of Warcraft isn’t my thing, but I’ll definitely be looking forward to this. And no, not just because it stars a redhead. I mean, yeah, sure, that’s a big part of it. Like 65% or so. Maybe 70% even. But I do also really enjoy the lore and history of Ferelden, the stories of the Maker and the clash between the numerous races and cultures, and everyone’s thoughts on darkspawn taint and–okay, okay. And the many, many redheads. I love my redheads.

Humor is not the weapon of unarmed people

I’m pretty sure I’ve mused before about all the things I’ve never done in the Fallout universe, such as keeping a good distance from using big guns to actually not seeking out Dogmeat as a companion. Another tactic I’ve never tried in my 300+ hours logged over Fallout 3 and Fallout: New Vegas is that of fighting unarmed. Now, to clarify, unarmed doesn’t necessarily mean totally unarmed; some weapons like spiked knuckles, a bladed gauntlet, and the zap glove count, as does using just your bare fists. Regardless, one will have to get pretty dang close to their opponents to do some heavy unarmed damage, and I generally like to keep my distance, imitating a ninja or dustwheel as best as possible. This sort of guerilla style gameplay took a while to get used to, but I did eventually, and soon found myself charging fists-first into battle, ready to uppercut NCR troopers to their new home above the clouds.

And so I’m pretty proud to see this baby pop late last night after I gave a large fire gecko a swift smack to the back of its head:

Old-Tyme Brawler (15G): Caused 10,000 damage with Unarmed weapons.

Zelda, the fiend of the Mojave Wasteland, is around level 17 currently, with an unarmed skill of 55 points. Not bad, and it will surely grow as she’s already rocking a 100 cap in melee weapons. She also has a wonderful perk, which will sometimes knock an opponent to the ground from an unarmed attack, allowing for more free punches and kicks. Teamed with ED-E for support from afar, she’s a decent warrior (except against Deathclaws). And this weapon helps a lot:

What a beauty! That’s a power fist for the uninformed. It’s an armored gauntlet that uses a pneumatic ram to really send the message home. There really is something special about watching Zelda, a thin, redhead dressed as homely as possible, wielding this fist of death and knocking the heads off enemies with ease. I really have to make a conscious effort to make my evil characters appear more evil.

Anyways, I can’t believe I went this long without trying out an unarmed character; it does have its downsides, as big groups of enemies can basically surround Zelda and riddle her with bullets, but otherwise it’s been a lot of fun. And once she hits around level 25 or so, I think I’ll give Dead Money another try, now that I’ve got a character built specifically to handle all their melee and unarmed weapons, as well as a high survival skill for turning junk food into the most delicious thing ever.

So many slimes to save, so little time

Actually, out of the 100 slimes to save in Dragon Quest Heroes: Rocket Slime, I need to only rescue 25 more at this point. Which is awesome because that means I’m this much closer to clearing up a spot in my travel case for Radiant Historia. And that gives me hope that, yes, I can do this…I can actually finish some of the videogames I buy before moving on to (possibly not) finish new games I buy. It’s a vicious cycle, I know.

Right. Anyways…Boingburg. It’s definitely looking a lot prettier now that it is a bustling city-state again, full of friends and enemies-turned-friends. Only 25 captured slimes left to rescue. Easy peasy, especially now that Rocket Slime can charge through crystal walls. Do your worst, Flucifer’s Necropolis. The only part I’m a little worried about is the inevitable upcoming big boss tank battles; I did two minor tank battles in a row the other night, and my left hand felt crippled and sore, tired of constantly moving Rocket Slime from room to room to gather ammo. I swear, my thumb NEVER left the d-pad once for both battles, and each one was probably over five minutes long. Wah. Someone get me a Batman bandaid. I do wish the developers had realized how useful the stylus and touchscreen can be, but this game was released way-back-when in late 2006, and that was actually before many people knew how to utilize the system’s software.

Naturally, I’ll be talking more about the game when I’ve completed it. And there’s a lot to discuss actually, from puns to the constant staples from every Dragon Quest game ever, to the humor of it all, as well as the crazy tanks. Dragon Quest Heroes: Rocket Slime is definitely one of those cases where I bought the game cheap and was rewarded greatly for doing so.

All right, slimes! Let’s goo! I mean…go.

Cass was murdered in Fallout: New Vegas by accident, I swears it

I’m tepidly hopping back in and out of Fallout: New Vegas. This second playthrough of a very straight evil run is not as exciting as my first playthrough was though I do love Zelda’s skills with the Rebar Club; currently, I’m stuck on the Render Unto Caesar quest, which gives The House Always Wins a run for its money in terms of being the longest, slowest quest in the game. Given to the Courier by Caesar, Render Unto Caesar is made up of eight parts: Part 1, use the Platinum Chip to downgrade the security bots; Part 2, dealing with Mr. House; Part 3, gaining the Boomers’ help; Part 4, gaining the help of the White Glove Society; Part 5, dealing with the Brotherhood of Steel; Part 6, Caesar’s Illness; Part 7, taking out President Kimball; and Part 8, protecting the Legate’s Camp.

Yeah, that’s a lot of parts. What makes things even worse is that each part might very well be made up of several other quests, making this a neverending story of sorts from a gameplay perspective. For example, getting the Boomers to help means getting them to like the Courier, which also means doing at least five nice tasks for them. I got bored after solving their ant problem that I just went and slaughtered Loyal and that old grandma with a Power Fist. And now I’m stuck on dealing with the Brotherhood of Steel, which leads me to the main point of this blog post…

I accidentally murdered Cass, and she’s dead dead! Can’t get her back. Whoops-daisy.

See, I’m trying to do the alternate method of Part 5, wherein you just kill the Brotherhood of Steel patrols outside the bunker at night. For some reason, according to the world of wikia, this works and will trigger Part 6. The problem is that these BoS dudes take Zelda and ED-E down rather fast, and I’d like a second fleshbag in my ranks to absorb some heat. Can’t have Boone as I’m BFFs with the Legion; can’t use Veronica as I doubt she’d like to help murder her BFFs. Cass was my next best choice as I’ve already visited with her before, but that was back when the NCR and I were pals. Now they shoot on sight, and I guess Zelda was swinging her Rebar Club a little too wildly–and a little too closely–to Cass as she sat at the bar drinking her woes. She died. Quest failed text scrolled by. I looted her body nonetheless and put a bottle of scotch atop her corpse out of sorrow, out of respect.

It’s weird that once they become your companions, they can’t die (at least in vanilla Fallout: New Vegas), only go unconscious, but until you recruit them, they are fair game. I guess I could go after Raul or Arcade next. Not sure if they’d want to join my forces though. We’ll see. I really don’t want to have to do that whole sneak through the Brotherhood’s bunker and sabotage it phase as I’m a level 15 character and have point ZERO points into sneaking. It just can’t be done.

As I mentioned before, this second Fallout: New Vegas playthrough is not as grand as the first one. In fact, it feels like a lot more work. I wonder why that is.

Pre-ordered that obscure Radiant Historia game

I am not kidding when I say that the last time I pre-ordered a game was back in 1997 for Final Fantasy VII, and the throw-in bonus was a t-shirt that I turned into a bedtime shirt and wore until it became too faded and frayed for a human boy to possibly wear any longer. That was, uh…some 14 years ago. Wait, is that right? Let’s see. 2011 minus 1997…carry the three…divide by six…multiply by a dozen childhood nostalgic tears. Yup, looks like that was about 14 years ago. How depressing!

Radiant Historia gets the honor of being the second game I’ve ever pre-ordered in my entire gaming life. And naturally, it went down oddly. Here’s a dramatic recreation for y’all:

Pauly: Hi, do you guys do anything special for pre-ordering Radiant Historia? I read something about a soundtrack being included.
GameStop Guy: Wow, yeah. I think we do. Let me check. You’re the first person to ask us about that game actually.
Pauly: Really? The first?
GameStop Guy: Yup. At least when I’m working. [Hits the keyboard with his fingers.] Yeah, if you pre-order, you get a music CD. Don’t know how much music is on it.
Pauly: Okay, great. I’d like to pre-order it then.

And then he asked me this, the emphasis his doing:

GameStop Guy: So, are there any other, uh, obscure games you’d like to pre-order today? How about Okamiden?
Pauly: No, I’m good. Thanks though.

Obscure. What an interesting word choice for Radiant Historia. I mean, yeah, I guess it’s a little off the beaten path, but it still seems to be a heavy hitter this month for the Nintendo DS. March 2011 is gonna be a doozy for the system, with Pokemon Black/White, Monster Tale, and the 3DS coming out, but for right now, Radiant Historia is sitting pretty with little to no direct competition. At least, I certainly hope the game doesn’t end up in retail obscurity. It’s too pretty for a life like that:

Twelve days to go! TWELVE!!!

Tell me a monster of a tale, Monster Tale

Without warning, I have a new game to add to my list of DO WANTS for 2011. Enter Monster Tale! It’s an adorable platformer for the Nintendo 3DS made by the creators of Henry Hatsworth and the Puzzling Adventure that’s a mix of an RPG, a Metroidvania, and a throwback to SNES classics. Beautiful sprites suck me in every single time.

Anyways, you play as Ellie, the blue-haired heroine above as she explores a mysterious world with her pet Chomp. A fairly hollow setup, but it’s more than enough to start with, and the gameplay seems to be the most unique thing about Monster Tale. See, Chomp can assist Ellie during combat and gain EXP (from eating cookies from one instance that I saw) and use items you pick up on the top screen. These items are dropped to the bottom screen–the “Pet Sanctuary”–where Chomp can hang out, regenerate health, learn skills from scrolls, and use items to help you out in battle. Chomp also comes with his/her own skill tree and seems to be customizable in terms of skills and actions.

Imagine if all monsters could gain experience and strength bonuses from eating cookies:

::shudder::

Today is the first I’ve ever heard of this game, but I guess I’m late to the party as some Googling shows a few sites doing previews and all that jazz dating back to early January 2011. However, what really hooked me was the Quick Look over at Giant Bomb, which does spoil a bit of the beginning, but does wonders to show you why it’s gonna be a great addition to anyone’s DS collection. It comes out some time in March. Between this and Radiant Historia, my DS is gonna be cruisin’ for a bruisin’.

Here’s a few more screens to slober over, too: