That http://deckers.die glitch where the final boss simply disappears

At this point, I’m pretty sick of bugs and glitches ruining games I am playing. Of late, I’ve groaned about that weird door situation in Deus Ex: Human Revolution and that switch that wouldn’t work in Half-Life 2. Plus, all those strange happenings in Bethesda’s games–such as an Alpha Male Deathclaw randomly spawning outside a small town every now and then–but to be honest, those don’t bug me so much as I feel like they are part of their open worlds’ charm, and for the most part, those kind of glitches don’t actively stop me from playing. But the former ones did, or almost did, and it seems like my newest glitch find also wants me to stop playing Saints Row: The Third.

So, I’m on the http://deckers.die mission–yes, that’s what it is called–and it’s pretty whacky. You’re a toilet, you’re a sex doll, you’re a Tron-like wireframe silhouette, and you’re shooting down virtual reality bad guys like there’s no tomorrow. Also, at some point, you will play a text-based adventure game starring a unicorn, as well as an over-the-head tank simulator. Unlike any mission I’ve ever played before. Too bad I can’t complete it.

At the end of the mission, you come VR face to VR face with Matt Miller; he’s dressed like a reject from Final Fantasy VII and wants to do you much harm. You shoot him a few times and then there’s a quick time event to rip his angelic wings off his borrowed body–only, for me, there’s no QTE. My character says, “Oh shit!” and then Matt Miller leaps into the digital sky to completely vanish. I ran around shooting everything I could for ten minutes before I determined that, no, this was not how it was supposed to go down. Quit mission and restarted at my last checkpoint, but the same thing happened. Tried quitting the entire mission and playing it all over again, but alas, nope, same thing happened. Also, I’m not the only one suffering.

Seems like the only trick I haven’t tried yet is making a manual save during the mission, quitting out of the game, and then reloading said save from my crib. While that might sound ridiculous, I don’t have many other choices. I want to keep progressing in Saints Row: The Third, and there’s only so many side activities and collectibles left. Not sure if THQ is aware of the bug or not, but maybe a patch could help. It also seems like GPS is wonky too, only showing a short bit of green line instead of it fully with guiding arrows and such. Sigh. The life and times of big ol’ videogames.

And yeah, I’m aware of the irony that there are homemade glitches within the Deckers’ virtual reality setting, such as lag and reversed controls, and that this is just one more on the pile. However, it’s not a fun one. Wish me luck that the next time I take on Matt Miller and say “Oh shit!” it’s because I’m ripping his dumb-ass wings off.

Don’t let this post about being stealthy in Skyrim sneak by you

I haven’t touched The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim in a couple of weeks now, but I did put some solid hours into the beast right before Christmas hit. Hey, I had time off of work, and well, I didn’t really know what to do with myself so I just plopped down and teleported away for a bit. From that spree, I was able to finish off the Thieves Guild questline–not counting restoring it to its former glory, which is based around doing a thousand and five miscellaneous tasks for Vex and Delvin–went to jail and then escaped, and polished off a sidequest called The Man Who Cried Wolf, which had the Dovahkiin investigating a cave after rumors of disappearances and strange lights. Also, I got my first skill up to the cap of 100. See here:

Skill Master (40G): Get a skill to 100

Now I’m sure you’re all chomping at the bit to guess which skill I raised to one hundred first. Was it Smithing? Nope. How about Heavy Armor? Um, no. Two-handed Weapons? Unicorn Riding? General Economics? Get real, kids. It was…

SNEAK

Duuuuuuuh. This really should come as no surprsie to anyone that’s been following Grinding Down now and/or for some decent length of time. I love being stealthy in videogames (except when they punish me for going the stealth route ::ahem:: Deus Ex: Human Revolution ::cough::), and since I’ve never been great at swinging swords, blocking with shields, or casting crazy magic spells, I built my character around the battle-plan of creeping through dark dungeons and loosing arrows from afar, hiding in shadows when caught. This works out pretty well except for when I have to fight a dragon or get spotted and then have to deal with a draugr right up in my face.

From what I can gather, the sneak skill increases in a couple of ways. You boost it by literally sneaking around people unnoticed, whether out in the woods or in a cave or potentially inside the hall of some great jarl. The other way is to kill enemies (or animals in the wrong place at the wrong time) without being detected. With an enchanted bow and the perks to zoom in and slow down time, this becomes a piece of sweetroll. And thanks to finishing off the Thieves Guild quests, I now possess the special ability to turn invisible for a significant length of time, useable once per day. Nobody is ever going to see me coming.

There are some downsides to being a sneak master though. I previously mentioned that once you are spotted it can be pretty difficult to defend yourself, especially if there’s more than one foe coming at you. The best tactic I have is to skate backwards and hide in a corner in hopes of them giving up after a few minutes. Because I like to be quiet and not alert everybody to my presence, I can’t bring along companions. I had a companion once; her name was Lydia, and she was loud as all gets, and sadly, something killed her so that I didn’t have to, and missions where I have to team up with someone never work well as they constantly run forward into rooms to say hi to everyone. And lastly, because of my OCD to creep and inch my way forward, going through a single cave can sometimes take up to an hour or more, whereas a warrior-like character would just charge through, smash everything with a mace, scoff at traps, and loot all chests before the fifteen minute mark.

But yeah, I’ve topped Sneak. Haven’t bought the 100 level perk for it yet though, and I’m not sure if I need it exactly, but we’ll see. I kind of like saving my perk points. My next closest skill to 100 is Archery, and after that I need to work on Light Armor or Pick-pocketing. Then nothing will be out of Lohgahn’s reach. And at some point I’ll pick a side (Imperial or Stormcloaks), but if it hasn’t turned out to be a rush after 70 hours or gaming, it probably won’t ever be.

Achievements of the Week – The Wanted Ghost Buster Saving My Quarters Edition

Hey, long time, no Achievements talk! Yeah, my bad. The last iteration of Achievements of the Week was back on December 9, 2011, and I totally planned to continue doing it all through the month, but then a drunk driver hit me as I was driving home and the holidays were in full swing and my depression surfaced with extreme tenacity. But I’m back, yo. I swears it. And I have plenty to report. Again, I’m not listing all the Achievements I unlocked over the last, um, three to four weeks, but some of the ones I liked the most.

And we’re off!

From The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim…

Wanted (10G): Escape from jail

Well, to be honest, this wasn’t as amazing as I thought it might be. I stole something in public, did not resist the guards, was taken to jail, picked the lock with ease, grabbed my gear, and left the Whiterun prison without a single soul aware I was even on the loose. And that’s it.

Darkness Returns (10G): Complete “Darkness Returns”

Finished the Thieves Guild questline…sort of. Seems like to return it to its former glory, I have to do an inane number of miscellaneous quests, which involve a lot of fast traveling, which also means a lot of loading screens. It’s on my to-do list, but not a priority just yet.

From LEGO Harry Potter, Years 5-7…

Shedding Skin (10): Complete “In Grave Danger”

Tara was able to wrap some Scotch tape around my second Xbox 360 controller’s faulty wire, and that seems to have solved the problem of it cutting in and out…for now. This has allowed us to play some co-op again.

From Rage…

Ghost Buster (10G): Complete Ghost Hideout in the Campaign

Waste Management (10G): Complete Wasted Garage in the Campaign

I haven’t played too much of Rage yet, but it’s not bad. Very pretty at times, and very ugly at times in terms of textures not loading. And no, I’m not going to instal 157 gigs onto my hard drive to make the game run better. But yeah, it’s okay. I do hope to play more of it, but I gotta remember to stock up on ammo like woah. Always running out of bullets because I’m terrible at aiming. Also, John Goodman for the win.

From Saints Row: The Third…

I previously shared some Achievements earlier this week, but here’s a another I got just the other day that makes me smile. It sure makes hijacking cars fun and fast.

Bo-Duke-En (10G): 50 quick vehicle hijacks, the Dukes would be proud.

From Marvel Vs. Capcom 3: Fate of Two Worlds…

Need a Healing Factor (10G): Win a match without blocking. (Arcade/Xbox LIVE only)

Saving My Quarters (20G): Beat Arcade mode without using any continues.

Female Flyers (15G): Make a team composed of women who can fly, and win a match. (Arcade/Xbox LIVE only)

In total, I’ve pinged 16 out of 47 Achievements already in MVC3, and while there’s a handful of others that are attainable, the majority are not. Just like in Street Fighter IV, most of the Achievements require skill, endurance, and grinding. Not really for me, but it’s a nice edition to the collection for those times when Tara and I want to just mash buttons and have seizure-inducing images flash on screen.

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Whew. Told you there would be a lot of ’em. But how about you? What cool Achievements have you pinged since last we met here? Share ’em below in the comments section, folks.

HALF-HOUR REVIEW – Pushmo

Filling the puzzle void left by polishing off Picross 3D last summer is a little piece of 3DSWare called Pushmo (or Pullmo if you’re from Europe), a game that tasks a young, wobbly Mallo with pushing and pulling colored blocks to rescue children trapped in them. It’s not the most exciting first thirty minutes of a game, with a chunk of it stuck in tutorials, but I can confirm that it gets better.

I’m now on the level two puzzles–I think No. 68 to be exact–and the difficulty has ramped up to the point of stumping me constantly. That’s a good, my dears. Many of the mural puzzles, the ones that look like fruit or animals or famous videogame faces, are actually quite simple, structured to be pleasing to the eyes and nothing more than fluff to the brain. However, a recent viewing of GiantBomb‘s Quick Look for Pushmo forecasts that the size of the puzzle grids are going to get bigger, and bigger, and then bigger again. Whoo boy. Those will be some doozies, for sure.

I’m just pleased to have a time-killer again. Picross 3D was perfect in that if I had five minutes or so between something, like waiting for Tara to get ready, I could do a puzzle. That same theory applies now to Pushmo. I mostly do my puzzling while waiting for artwork to be scanned and Photoshop to open on my slow-as-slow Macbook. If I’m good enough, I can get through two or three before it’s time to get back to making them comics. But yeah, it’s pretty good, and if you have a 3DS, well, it’s a no-brainer to get it, even if you feel like $7.00 is too high a price, it’s not. Not at all.

Alpine climbing Death Peak just to save a friend

I’m happy to report that I’ve made further progress in Chrono Trigger, a game I had hoped to have completed in 2011 and am now resolved to see ended in early 2012. And I’m almost there, I think. Maybe. I dunno. Seems like the game is explicitly telling me to go take Lavos down now and at the same time offering half a dozen new sidequests to do before the big final battle. Crono is at some crossroads, in short. But before all that happened, I did make it to the top of Death Peak, and all I got to show for it was a good friend back. Well, that and some new gear, but let’s talk about not walking diagonally for a bit.

Death Peak has two tricky parts to it. The first involves climbing up a snowy hill and hiding behind trees to avoid being blown back to the overworld map by huge gusts of icy wind. This took me over ten times to conquer, and each time my gang of heroes was tossed off the map I’d gasp a little. Eventually I began cursing at my 3DS and threatening to throw it out a window; Tara is a witness to all this, too. See, the problem is that you can’t run diagonally in Chrono Trigger, only up, down, left, and right, making moving quickly an arduous task. And you have to line up your party directly behind a tree when the wind picks up while continuing to press up to prevent from sliding downhill; maybe this was easier on a SNES controller, but the circle pad on the 3DS is too slippery and, conversely, the 3DS d-pad is too stiff. If only they could run at an angle instead of having to stop, feet planted firmly in the snow, and then change direction, and then change direction yet again. You have only seconds to get to tree safety. It was frustrating, and I was pleased to reach calmer winds on the subsequent screen.

But then, just a little ways further up Death Peak, you have to traverse across a slippery bridge without falling off, going from the far right of the screen to the far left in one fell swoop. It’s not easy. Again, a lot of blame falls on the stiffness of the d-pad and the slipperiness of the circle pad. Or maybe I just suck at walking. In truth, when I step onto ice or slippery terrain in real life, I become a 96-year-old man without a cane, moving in inches, eyes straight down, always in fear of falling and hurting myself. I have a history of slipping and hurting myself, so there’s that excuse. Eventually, I was able to make it across and release the breath I was holding. The rest of Death Peak was moderate, and I can’t really talk about what happens thereafter as the story details are extremely spoilery, but things get better despite the constant looming Lavos.

Back at the End of Time, Crono and the gang are tasked with putting an end to our little fire-loving alien beast thing. Or doing a number of other tasks, of which I’m not sure how many are vital or even interesting. I started one, heading back to the medieval ages to deal with Ozzie, Flea, and Slash for a second time. I think I took them down for good, but I was kind of under the impression that since [spoiler name] is now part of the gang they’d want to join up and help us fight the good fight. Alas, it didn’t work out that way, their stronghold got raided, and they disappeared into darkness. For good? Don’t ask me.

Call me crazy, but I think I’m ready to take on Lavos now. Unless someone nudges me towards a specific sidequest. My team of Crono, Marle, and Ayla is pretty top-notch, and I’m interested in seeing how different of a fight this version will be compared to the first time I tried to take him on. I’m so close, guys and girls. Wish me luck, or tell me to go somewhere else. Otherwise, it’s time to save all the times.

Saints Row: The Third should not have all this fun power

Honestly, I never thought I’d write these words, but I’m having a blast with Saints Row: The Third. The duders over at GiantBomb are mostly to blame, as they would not shut up about the game on every podcast or game of the year debate, and so I finally decided to put my trust in word-of-mouth and got a new copy with some Christmas cash (as well as Kirby’s Epic Yarn, Rage, and Marvel VS Capcom 3 during GameStop’s end-of-the-month sale where you could buy two used games and get one for free). I put it into my Xbox 360 without a real idea of what was to come except maybe some driving and shooting in the vein of Grand Theft Auto IV, a game I loathe. I held my breath and went forward…

Well, I’m about 11 hours into Saints Row: The Third, with a completion percentage around 45%, and it’s been zany, crazy fun from the moment go. From creating your character, to jumping out of a plane, to jumping into a plane, to gimps pulling chariots, to said gimps exploding, to driving Miss Tiger around town, to befriending a huge naked man, to–y’know, I think I’ll stop there for now. Literally every mission is absolutely bonkers and pure joy to talk about, but a majority of it needs to be experienced, as Saints Row: The Third is always aiming to surprise and put a smile on your face. And if not a smile, well, maybe just to lower your jaw a couple inches. In short, it’s a videogame. It’s a videogame that loves being a videogame and only wants to be a videogame for you. It streamlines everything to keep momentum going forward; when you are driving to a mission start locale, you don’t have to get out of the car to begin it, you only need to be near it, and while that’s a small detail, it’s enough to keep things going. Unlike GTA IV, failing a mission is not punishing, as there are many checkpoints along the way, and you can simply reload from there. And hey, do you hate chasing down a car to hijack it? Simply run and press the right button to jump through the car’s windshield immediately. It’s that kind of game.

And yeah, that’s my avatar in the screenshot above. He’s modeled somewhat after moi. You can use the in-game’s cell phone to take screenshots and upload them to a separate website, so expect some more National Geographic quality shots to pop up here and there. I like to dress kinda casual though I do put on a zany hat or kooky outfit when showing the game off to observers. And there was this one time I was wearing a wolf mask and a cheerleading outfit, but let’s just move on, okay…

Got some Achievements so far. This game looks like a fairly easy 1,000 Gamerscore, but it’ll take time, which is a-okay by me. For once, I’m having a blast in an open world with little fear of breaking it or losing all my hard-earned work through things getting too crazy and my dude getting shot to pieces, like in The Saboteur or Red Faction: Guerrilla. Here’s a few goodies:

Ow, My Balls! (10G): Did your first nutshot and testicle assault, sack tapping is bad news kids!

Gellin’ Like Magellan (20G): Explored every hood in Steelport, you’ve been around the world.

Gotta Break Em In (25G): Completed ‘The Ho Boat’ and decided the Hos fate, do you feel proud of yourself?

I do feel proud of myself, Volition/THQ. I saved those hoes from a life of hoeing and whoring under a wrestling masked jerk to work for me, the leader of the Saints, who, by all accounts, is a psychopath. Lucky them.

Right now, before I move on to the next story mission, I’m tracking down all the collectibles thanks to an upgrade bonus that highlights them all on my map. Saints Row: The Third doesn’t care about giving you everything right away, such as a map pinpointing all the hidden items or a VTOL jet early on or the ability to call an airstrike at any point; it just wants you to have a good time, and that’s exactly what I’m going to keep on doing.

30 Days of Gaming meme is now completed

It took me 287 days to complete the 30 Days of Gaming meme, which is a list of thirty topic trains meant to be derailed one after the other in thirty consecutive days. Another way to look at it is as so: 9 months and 12 days. Let’s go further down the rabbit hole and reduce the final count to these: 24,796,800 seconds or 413,280 minutes or 6,888 hours or 41 weeks. Fun with numbers, I know. It’s all the rage on blogs these days.

Yeah, I never promised I’d be fast with the meme, as it was meant to fill in the gaps at Grinding Down, but at some point, I just forgot about it for a good while and then later struggled with some of the tougher topics. But I have triumphed, and so here’s the roundup of all those posts. Clicky click, y’all.

Day 1 – Your first videogame (Super Mario World)
Day 2 – Your favorite character (Gremio from Suikoden)
Day 3 – A game that is underrated (Primal)
Day 4 – Your guilty pleasure game (Pokemon White)
Day 5 – Game character you feel you most like (Joker from Mass Effect)
Day 6 – Most annoying character (Tom Nook from Animal Crossing: Wild World)
Day 7 – Favorite game couple (Fran and Balthier from Final Fantasy XII)
Day 8 – Best soundtrack (Chrono Cross)
Day 9 – Saddest game scene (Nanami’s death in Suikoden II)
Day 10 – Best gameplay (Sly 3: Honor Among Thieves)
Day 11 – Gaming system of choice (Nintendo DS)
Day 12 – A game everyone should play (Limbo)
Day 13 – A game you’ve played more than five times (Super Metroid)
Day 14 – Current (or most recent) gaming wallpaper
Day 15 – Post a screenshot from the game you’re playing right now (Harvest Moon: Grand Bazaar)
Day 16 – Game with the best cut scenes (Jak 3)
Day 17 – Favorite antagonist
Day 18 – Favorite protagonist Craziest thing in a game (Zodiac Spear in Final Fantasy XII)
Day 19 – Picture of a game setting you wish you lived in (Fable II)
Day 20 – Favorite genre (RPGs)
Day 21 – Game with the best story (Suikoden II)
Day 22 – A game sequel which disappointed you (Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty)
Day 23 – Game you think had the best graphics or art style (Aquaria)
Day 24 – Favorite classic game (Pac-Man)
Day 25 – A game you plan on playing (Deus Ex: Human Revolution)
Day 26 – Best voice acting (Blood Omen: Legacy of Kain)
Day 27 – Most epic scene ever (Mother Brain boss fight in Super Metroid)
Day 28 – Favorite game developer (Konami)
Day 29 – A game you thought you wouldn’t like, but ended up loving (LEGO Star Wars: The Video Game)
Day 30 – Your favorite game of all time (The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past)

Whew. Lots to read. Or not, that’s your call. To speak nicely of my own writing for a moment–and trust me, this does not happen a lot, as self-deprecation is my main form of medication–I’m pretty proud of the posts for Day 2, Day 5, Day 9, and Day 11. These are more personal than traditional, the kind of writing where there’s a story before we get to the meat of things. I dunno. Overall, I’m kind of meh about how this meme went and turned out, and I suspect I won’t be doing another for a long while. I think I am better at videogame musing off the cuff, and I now never want to write about my favorite videogame ever again; it just can’t be done, folks. Unless you’re Jeremy Parish.

All right, moving on now…

The Top 10 Videogames I Didn’t Get to Play in 2011

I did this type of list last year–and by last year, I mean 2010–and to say that it was well received is me being honestly humble; The Top 10 Games I Didn’t Get to Play in 2010 ended up gracing the home page of WordPress.com for a week and change, meaning that anyone and everyone visiting the site saw an adorable puppy with sad eyes drawing them into a post about missing out on a bunch of popular videogames. And it got looked at. A lot. Around 15,200 views and over 140 comments in just a few days, a high majority of them from really nice commenters, too. Thanks, WordPress people! We’ll see if I can bottle magic for a second time.

10. Batman: Arkham City

He may be the hope that flies through the night sky in black, but he’s also unplayed. Same with the previous game Batman: Arkham Asylum. The game(s) seem really cool, with a mix of action, stealth, and as many cameos the devs can squeeze in, but I’ve somehow managed to avoid all things batty. Not on purpose. I like Batman much more than Superman (but less than Spider-Man). Maybe I’ll grab one of these in 2012 to help get in the mood for The Dark Knight Rises.

9. STACKING

 

I like weird games, mostly because weird games take chances, thus earning the adjective of being weird. Stacking seems like a weird game, which is why it is intriguing to me. Plus, the way the characters hop around the world reminds me a little of how I design my Supertown and All of Westeros characters, even though those in Stacking do have arms, legs, noses, and ears. Good for them. The price tag (1200 MS Points) for this downloadable has always kept me at bay so I’m hoping for a sale sometime soon.

8. Aliens: Infestation

Here’s probably the first (and last) Aliens game I’m interested in. The goal is shooting alien creatures without remorse, and this objective plays out in a Metroidvania way, with a unique hook of main characters being totally and completely killable. You literally have X number of lives to beat the game, I guess. There’s some gorgeous spritework here, and the level design is ripe for exploration. Alas, I don’t know much about the source material, as I’ve only ever seen one film from the franchise, and I couldn’t tell you if it was Alien or Aliens, but it did have a robot at the end bleeding milk all over the place, but I’m a sucker for anything that shows its love for side-scrolling pilgrimages and does it well.

7. Alice: Madness Returns

I have a strange relationship with American McGee’s Alice; that’s a game that I actually played co-op with a girlfriend even though it was not a co-op game. She controlled the moving of Alice, and I used items and weapons from the other side of the keyboard. It was a disastrous time, and we rarely worked well together, but it was one of the few games she ever became interested in, and was adamant about us playing it together. Ah, young love affection. What a farce.

And so that game has been stuck in my being ever since, evoking a time I’d like to not go back to. However, Alice’s next journey in Alice: Madness Returns looks like fun, maybe even darker than before if that’s possible. The game got mediocre reviews, but I’m more interested in just going at it all by my lonesome.

6. Red Dead Redemption

Here’s a game that was also on my 2010 list, meaning a whole year went by and I’ve still not been able to ride a horse, skin a bear, and shoot a unruly vagrant. I want to, I really do, and I was close to purchasing the Game of the Year edition, which nicely collects all the many DLC packs into one package, but instead went with Mass Effect 2. I still don’t love Grand Theft Auto IV, but I named L.A. Noire as my game of the year, and have hopes that Red Dead Redemption is more like the latter and less like the former. Yeah, yeah, I know people refer to it as Grand Theft Horse, but maybe there’s more to it than that. Or maybe you’ll see this title on yet another edition of this list come the end of 2012.

5. Terraria

This year, I was able to give Minecraft a spin thanks to a free, limited-time copy with the purchase of one of the Humble Indie Bundles. I struggled at first, both with what the point of the game was and then also surviving the darkness, but that was enough for me until it comes out on the Xbox 360. Terraria is seemingly Minecraft’s cousin, but it only works on a PC, and since I use a Mac…well, you do the math. The graphics and slower gameplay seem more appealing to me than that in Minecraft, but it’ll have to wait until I can get a new pooter.

4. Assassin’s Creed: Revelations

True fact: I totally skipped Assassin’s Creed II and went straight to Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood, and I’m totally at peace with that. Why? Well, AC:B turned out to be simply fantastic. A strong story, lots to do in a well-designed setting, and a unique take on online multiplayer stabbing. Though Ubisoft might be spitting out these games a little too fast, Assassin’s Creed: Revelations seems to be more of AC:B, and I’ve heard that the changes to online multiplayer are significant. I’ve held back because I’ve heard that for a game with revelations in its title, there is actually little to that point. Going to wait until the price drops down to $30 or so, me thinks.

3. Portal 2

So, 2011 was the year that I caught up with the world and played–and beat with minimal walkthrough assistance–Portal. Yeah, go me. However, I did struggle with a few puzzles, almost to the point of blunt frustration, and that’s been the biggest roadblock for Portal 2; I’m interested in the story and learning more about Aperture Science and their ultimate plans, but not having to deal with the mind-benders and brain-twisters to get there. Sure, I could read a wiki or watch videos online, but that’s just silly. Alas, I kinda doubt I’ll ever get to this one.

2. Kirby Mass Attack

Without a doubt, Kirby is Nintendo’s lab experiment. When they want to try something new or risky or off-the-wall, they just use Kirby as the flagship. Over the years, he’s been turned into yarn, forced to ride a rainbow, and also enter air kart races. His latest adventure on the DS (not the 3DS, mind you) involves clones. Kirby Mass Attack retains the look of those classic Kirby game, but throws in new puzzles solvable with multiple Kirby copies, and it’s all controlled with the touchscreen. This one was released right around the same time as Professor Layton and the Last Specter, and I only had enough funds to get one or the other, and so it’ll have to wait for a later date.

1. The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword

The last great game for the Nintendo Wii. At least that’s what journalistic people are saying about The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword, and I’m sure they are right as there definitely doesn’t seem to be anything else in the pipeline before the dumbly-named Wii U drops. And there’s always reason to be excited for a new Zelda game, but I still struggle with the idea of actually playing this on a Wii, with a Wii controller, doing Wii-like things. Visually, it’s so pretty. Like a painting come to life. It also sounds like a mighty slow crawl for those first few hours. Going to hold off for now and wait until it drops in price, but who knows how long that could take.

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Well, I think that’s it.

Other contenders that I didn’t play and didn’t make this list include Solatorobo: Red the Hunter, Dead Island, Dragon Quest VI: Realms of Revelation, Lost in Shadow, and Rayman: Origins. Yeah, I got some things to catch up on. We’ll get there, surely. But what about you, dear readers? What games from 2011 did you miss out on? Speak up below in the comments.

30 Days of Gaming, #30 – Your favorite game of all time

Well, this has been a long-time coming, but here we are, the final topic. “Of what?” you ask, looking around with wide eyes, a dribble of drool leaking down your chin. Clearly you’ve forgotten. That 30 Days of Gaming meme that I started back in…oh gawd, March 2011. With the new year swinging on in, we’re almost at the 365 days mark for a meme meant to be completed in thirty days. Thirty topics for thirty days. Don’t label me a slacker just yet as I was totally honest about this meme in that it was going to be a slow crawl, a thing I went to here and there to fill in the gaps when all I could find inside my cranium were dustbowls and old photograph albums. In truth, the final few topics have been pretty tough to nail down, and I’ve been less interested in thinking about them discerningly.

And the final topic is the topic, the one that puts it all out there. The kicker: name your favorite game of all time. OF ALL TIME.

::inhale::

::exhale::

Right. It’s actually quite easy to name my favorite videogame of all time. That’d be The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past. I mean, the image on Grinding Down since its very birth has been the Master Sword in all its forest-hidden glory. Should’ve seen it coming, people. The hard part comes with writing about it, as it’s a game so close to my shaping, a game so perfect in memory and nostalgia that I am scared if it’s even possible to express so with an ounce of success. Guess I’ll give it a shot. Maybe even a hook shot.

I don’t remember how A Link to the Past ended up in my SNES collection. I don’t remember saving up money as a kid from mowing the lawn or washing neighbors’ cars or my allowance in general to pay for it. I don’t remember trading with friends or borrowing it from a friend and then just keeping it like a horrible goblin. I don’t remember getting it as an older boy, a teenager, or a man, meaning it had to come into my hands around the time it came into many others’ hands, near its launch date of late 1992. I don’t remember how I got it, but I’ve had it ever since, as it’s one of the few SNES carts that did not get traded in when I was young and dumb. I do, however, remember playing it. And playing it again and again.

For those that don’t know, A Link to the Past is a coming-of-age tale where a young Link has to save a princess and defeat Agahnim not once, but twice and then slice Ganon apart for peace to return to the land of Hyrule. To do this, he has to travel between a Light and Dark World to collect the Master Sword and three mystical pendants, as well as uncover the Seven Sages. In between all that, you’ll explore villages and dungeons and rivers and forests for items and people to help you along the way.

There was a time when the Internet didn’t spoil videogames for everyone, and during that time I played A Link to the Past. I found my way into the castle during a rainstorm via a hole in the ground without anyone pointing it out to me. I attacked chickens until they attacked me without knowing that would happen. I made it through the Ice Palace dungeon without a walkthrough. I totally cried in frustration when I couldn’t figure out how to beat Moldorm, and it knocked Link off the screen for the umpteenth time. I helped the lost old man on Death Mountain without knowing whether it was a trick or not. I revealed a monster with sunlight, I blew apart cracks in walls, I dashed into a tree to unleash a swarm of bees…I…I…

This is a videogame stuffed to the brim of little moments, tiny secrets, and gleeful nods. And that’s a big part of why it’s so special to me. The “main quest” of stopping the evil overlord is by the books, but it’s all the little moments that make the adventure so spectacular. And the music. And the fact that there’s an entire second world to explore, which comes seemingly out of nowhere, and you can flip to and from it with ease, on the fly, giving you freedom to explore and try things out. And the graphics, the kind that are ever-lasting, the kind that evoke warm feelings upon seeing them today, tomorrow, and years down the road.

I love it immensely, though the last time I sat down to play it on my still working SNES was many moons ago. Maybe even in the early 2000s. I’m probably overdue for a trip down memory lane with a game that has still not been reproduced today. There is nothing else like it, not even other games from The Legend of Zelda. Though the DS ones come close in spirit.

So there ya go. My favorite videogame of all time. A Link to the Past. I probably didn’t do it enough justice, but whatever. This isn’t a college thesis here. Agree or disagree or move on silently to something else on the Internet. We’re done. Though there’ll be a roundup post on the 30 Days of Gaming meme soon, too. Until the next meme, I guess!

Yoshi’s Island and the tears it cries

Thanks to hanging out with my awesome niece and nephew, Uncle Pauly’s heard babies at their best, when excited for Cheerios or a new toy or that dangerously catchy tune from Thomas the Tank Engine, as well as at their worst, when the world is just crumbling apart and they have to go to bed instead of staying up with us cool adults who then get to have crazy, neck-and-neck games of Madden ’12 in the dark. Naturally, babies sound better when being amazed and amazing, laughing and playing in their own fantastic universe, not screaming for salvation.

Yoshi’s Island–well, Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island if you want to be official with titles and all that–gets this, and that’s why Baby Mario screeches the moment he leaves Yoshi’s back. He doesn’t just cry, he bawls for home. He makes a sound that is unrelenting and uniform in its purpose, to stop all further plans save for the one that gets him back to his dino buddy. It’s excruciating in how effective it is though.

As you can tell, I’m working my way through Yoshi’s Island, level by level, tear by tear, and it’s a great time except when Baby Mario starts howling. Strangely, amazingly, I’ve never played this game with an actual controller. I missed out on it during its SNES heyday only to emulate it poorly on a computer with keyboard controls during my one of my four years in college and to now get it in late 2011 on my Nintendo 3DS for being a good ol’ supporter of expensive handheld consoles. There are some downsides to this, as despite how colorful the above screenshot is, the version on the 3DS gets stretched to fit an unfitting screen and thus loses a lot of pretty, becoming muted and occasionally muddy. But otherwise, the platforming remains solid and challenging, with enough variety to keep each level sempervirent; I believe y’all know that if you want to get dizzy, touch fuzzy.

I know the levels from the first two worlds extremely well, as that’s as far as I ever got thanks to the previously mentioned keyboard controls. Currently, I’m on World Two, at the final castle, and am looking forward to moving on to the next world for all things unknown. Many of the game’s tricks still work well today, especially the third dimensional stuff, even when on a system that loves that stuff and yet can’t make it more effective because it’s only a port of a GBA title and not something made specifically for the 3DS. Kind of a shame there. Let’s keep the crying down to a minimum. Especially you, Baby Mario. Especially you.