Theatrhythm: Final Fantasy is one earworm of a 3DS game

In case you’re not up to snuff with your urban dictionary terms, an earworm is “a song that sticks in your mind, and will not leave no matter how much you try.” This can be either a good or bad thing, depending on who you are. For me and for Theatrhythm: Final Fantasy, it’s a delightful problem to have right now. To hammer home this point, let me inform you that I haven’t missed a single daily Rhythmia bonus–extra points alloted to those that play every consecutive day–since I bought it on release day, way back on July 3, 2012. Mm-hmm.

But what is Theatrhythm: Final Fantasy? It’s a good question, and one nobody should be afraid to ask. The answer is both simple and strange: it is a music rhythm game à la Elite Beat Agents, as well as a “thank you” to fans of the Final Fantasy series.

For the rhythm part, you tap the touchscreen via three different on-screen prompts to the beat of a song: a single tap, a tap and hold, or a directional swipe. Sequences vary in difficulty, and you play them across three different types of scenarios. The most enjoyable for me are Field Music Scenarios (FMS), which has the leader of your party of four strolling across the screen from right to left while you handle all the prompts. The other two are Battle Music Scenarios (BMS) and Event Music Scenarios (EMS), both of which are enjoyable, but can be distracting due to too much happening outside of the button prompts. For the EMS, you’re basically tapping over a movie playing, and it can be hard to not focus on Zidane chasing after Garnet, especially for a fanboy like myself.

Speaking of that, the other half of Theatrhythm: Final Fantasy is all about the fans. Whether you think Final Fantasy IV is the best or still can’t get over your nostalgia and claim that nothing beats Final Fantasy VII or are somehow head over heels with the latest hall-walker Final Fantasy XIII…all the mainstay games from the series are represented here. Each game seems to get three songs (with each song getting three different difficulty ranks), and for your party of four, you can pick some recognizable people, all with their own skill sets. And this is where rhythm game and RPG fuse, letting your team level up, earn items, and unlock spells to cast during events. My team of four–all now around level 50 or so–has been like so since the get-go: Zidane (leader), Squall, Vaan, and Terra.

At first, the game seems to be limited on things to do, but after just a bit you’ll have opened up new levels of difficulty, as well as Dark Notes and CollectaCards and music not tied to a specific game. And those Dark Notes…oh man. They are basically randomly generated levels, each containing a FMS and a BMS, but you won’t know which ones until you try it out. Often, they are extremely tough and really challenge your response time, but clearing them successfully is an exhilarating feeling. When you beat one, you unlock another, which is always a higher difficulty. However, there is plenty of reason to replay Dark Notes as you fight one of three potential bosses, and they all have a chance to drop rare items or colored shards, which you use to unlock new characters. Right now, I’m working my way towards getting Vivi on my team–see ya, Squall! I know, you’re surprised.

So, it’s a surprising game, and might not be for everyone, but I’m enjoying it a lot. Not enough to consider buying DLC at $1.00 a song though, as I think there’s plenty of tunes here for my enjoyment, but yeah. For those curious, my favorite songs to play are “Mambo de Chocobo”, “Terra’s Theme”, and “Over the Hills”. What’s your favorite Final Fantasy song? You are not allowed to answer with “One-Winged Angel” by the way.

All right, back to it. The music, it’s a-calling…

The highs and lows of playing through Deus Ex: Human Revolution a second time

Clearly, I forgot to buy an intelligence-at-reading-menu-options augmentation while playing through Deus Ex: Human Revolution for a second time on its hardest difficulty. Because I got through it, struggling in a several sections, but otherwise racking up Praxis Points and bullets for my silenced Machine Pistol with ease and blasting down anybody that got in the way. Because I beat it using a mix of stealth and sniping  and straight up shooting and watched the credits roll and waited patiently for that bloop that would confirm I did it, that I mastered a game on its most straining setting, from beginning to end. But it never popped. The one for viewing all the different endings did though. Confused, I went back to my last save to check my option settings, and there I discovered that no, in fact, I was playing on medium difficulty…the whole time.

::frustratingly funny facepalm::

But man, it sure felt like a harder difficulty than that.

If you’ll recall, my first playthrough of Adam Jensen’s journey to living a new life and stopping…whatever did not go smoothly. With a battle plan of full-on stealth, I struggled to take down two of the three main bosses, sadly learned that I goofed up a non-lethal playthrough by rewiring a robot to kill enemy guards, and then ran into a nasty door glitch. I decided long ago that I’d play it all again, this time throwing quietness to the wind and shooting down dudes when it seemed like a quicker and simpler solution. The actual doing of this took longer than I expected, but we’re in the dry season currently for exciting videogames, and so I found some time recently over the last two weekends to plug away at this.

It went much easier the second time around, as well as quicker. I no longer had to wait and watch a guard until he turned his body ever so slightly to slip by him; this time around, I merely poked my head out, aimed with a silenced weapon, and dinged him in his dome. Sometimes I’d drag the body away. Sometimes I wouldn’t. Fearless, this Jensen he be. The boss battles were a snap thanks to Typhoon ammo and a ton of augmentations I missed the first time around, and I only had a hard time in certain rooms full of dudes where ammo was scarce and enemy count was high. It did seem like Jensen lost health super fast until I upgraded his skin perks, and that’s probably why I felt like I was playing on the hardest difficulty the whole time. Hacking emails and doors is still a strangely fun minigame, if a bit daunting at first. Towards the end though you’re breaking into level 5 rooms and emails like a pro, which does feel rewarding in its own way.

Anyways, here’s a few of the Achievements I unlocked on my second go in Deus Ex: Human Revolution that I’m pretty pleased with, especially considering that I’m probably never going back for a third time:

Deus Ex Machina (50G): Experience all the different endings that Deus Ex: Human Revolution has to offer.

Good Soul (15G): Against all odds, you saved Faridah Malik’s life.

Lucky Guess (10G): Next time, Jacob better use a more complex code to arm his bombs.

I only wish that I had been able to get either one of the really hard Achievements (beat the game with no kills, beat the game on its hardest difficulty, or beat the game without setting off an alarm) to show off my mad Deus Ex skills. I guess all I’m doing now is showing my lack of ’em. But you won’t tell anyone, right? ::tosses a gas grenade:: Right?

2012 Game Review Haiku, #20 – Theatrhythm: Final Fantasy

Tap to cast a spell
Tap to defeat a big boss
Tap to stroll through field

–

For all the games I complete in 2012, instead of wasting time writing a review made up of points and thoughts I’ve probably already expressed here in various posts at Grinding Down, I’m instead just going to write a haiku about it. So there.

Still a hundred and one things to do in Skyrim

Over the weekend, after putting some healthy time and work into my newest and craziest comics project thus far, I played some more Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. I kind of wanted to see if I needed the recently released DLC Dawnguard just yet or if I could hold off for a wee bit. Aye, seems like I need not rush. Will explain more on that in just a moment, but for right now, check out these two Achievements I pinged after over 90 hours of traversing the realm and being all sneaky and meticulous:

Thief (30G): Pick 50 locks and 50 pockets

Delver (40G): Clear 50 dungeons

For the Thief one, I most definitely picked over 50 locks a long, long time ago. It was the pickpocketing that took forever. Despite my love and desire to always play a sneaky sneaker, I generally roleplay it in the way that keeps me a great distance from enemies and people. So there is little chance for me to steal from bandits since I’m filling them with arrows from across the room, which leads to me robbing from unaware citizens of Whiterun as they snoozed or were out for a morning walk. Shame on me, but whatever. The Delver Achievement one just requires you to kill all enemies in a dungeon/cave, and sometimes I wanted nothing more than to escape back out to sunlight, leaving a single dude or bear still breathing. Didn’t take long to clear out a few, especially since I was working on a lot of miscellaneous quests where you are tasked with killing the bandit leader, often hiding out in a cave.

Oh, and that miscellaneous quest log? It’s never ending. Still there, still growing. I cleared out a few, but still have plenty to keep me busy, as well as the larger, more story-driven quests. Mainly trying to restore the Thieves Guild to its former glory. I think I’m two-fifths of the way there, as I’ve now gotten to complete two big quests to get cities to support us and bring in new merchants to the Ragged Flagon. But it’s slow going. Basically, you have to do a bunch of small thieving jobs in a randomly picked city, and once you do a certain amount you can then do a special task for Devan which will then help you improve the Thieves Guild. All in all, a whole lot of back and forth, which in Skyrim terms means fast travel loading screens.

So, right now, with a long laundry list of things to do, I just don’t see Dawnguard happening immediately yet. But I will get there, if only for the crossbow action. Not really interested in being a vampire. But spearing one from afar with a magical crossbow? Yes please.

2012 Game Review Haiku, #19 – LEGO Harry Potter, Years 5-7

Complete Harry’s run
Through magic school, love, and war
Be a Super Wiz

–

For all the games I complete in 2012, instead of wasting time writing a review made up of points and thoughts I’ve probably already expressed here in various posts at Grinding Down, I’m instead just going to write a haiku about it. So there.

GAMES I REGRET PARTING WITH: Gex

“So, this is New Jersey.”

It’s a line I’ve never forgotten, and it’s one that still makes me laugh some seventeen years later. Yes, that’s right. Gex came out for the PlayStation in 1995, y’all. I was just a teenybopper by the time I got to play it. Anyways, our titular amphibian hero voiced by comedian Dana Gould slips out the stately jest presented above upon arriving at the final boss level in Rez’s futuristically dystopian city Rezopolis. Even as a boy, I knew that making fun of the Garden State was a thing, and so I cherished this moment.

The game itself was all right. An action platformer starring–what Sony probably wanted to join their mascot team, which included Crash Bandicoot, Spyro the Dragon, and Lara Croft–an anthropomorphic juvenile gecko. The plot is as so and I will give it to you as straight-faced as possible: After Gex’s father dies in a space shuttle accident, Gex becomes a shut-in, spending all his days and nights watching television. His mother, in a fit of desperation, gives the TV away to a bunch of gypsies. Upset, Gex runs away from home. Soon after, there’s another death in the family, and Gex inherits a large sum of moolah, which he uses to move back to Maui, buy a mansion and big-screen TV, and a ridiculous amount of food so he can remain a shut-in again. Unfortunately, the villainous Rez sucks Gex into the TV in hopes of turning him into the mascot for the hellish Media Dimension. Yup. Hey, it was the 90s.

Gameplay-wise, nothing amazing. Typical platforming with colorful character and themed worlds. You jump, you attack enemies with your tail, you collect items, and you complete levels on an overworld map. There’s also a mechanic that maybe is paying homage to Super Mario World, where Gex will attach himself all lizard-like to a wall and crawl up and down it. It’s nifty. And so you go left to right, collecting TV remote controls and listening to Gex slam a bunch of different properties, namely Full House, Ben Franklin, Dick Clark, Rick James, Wendy’s, and much, much more. The lines as I remember them were genuinely funny, and much more effective than the work voicework in games like Bubsy and Blasto.

Other than that quote, what I remember most about Gex is that since it was one of the first games to come out for the Sony PlayStation, it sported one of those giant cases. You know what I’m talking about. They were like the size of a small hardcover book if that book also wore a top hat. Hilarious and definitely a piece of packaging history. Wish I still had my copy if only to figure out how to fit it aesthetically on a shelf with my other videogames.

—

GAMES I REGRET PARTING WITH is a regular feature here at Grinding Down where I reminisce about videogames I either sold or traded in when I was young and dumb. To read up on other games I parted with, follow the tag.

Took some time, but I finally stepped up to the challenge in Fallout: New Vegas

The Gun Runners’ Arsenal DLC for Fallout: New Vegas added a number of things to the desolate and barren play-realm known to all as the Mojave Wasteland. Mostly weapons, obviously, but also new recipes , ammunition types, gun mods, and–the topic of today’s blog post–in-game challenges. These new challenges are given different ranks, ranging from one star to three stars, and are tied to some Achievements. Also, they ain’t easy, like the “kill 10 bloatflies” ilk.

Anyways, a few weeks ago, as I continued slowly down the path to a Mr. House playthrough, I finished off a third one-star challenge, earning this little darling:

Up to the Challenge (20G): Completed any three Gun Runners’ Arsenal (GRA) one star (*) Challenges.

Now, there are a total of six possible one-star challenges, and, of them, four seemed doable. The other two? No. No way, no how. One asked of me to kill Mr. House with a golf club, which went against my entire playthrough, and the other wanted the Courier to obliterate animals with the Fat Man or Fat mines, of which I’ve never used either before in all my long hours. And so I went after the reasonable ones: cripple five right arms with a shotgun, kill 15 robots using a 5.56mm pistol, kill 15 feral ghouls using specific weapons, or destroy 10 abominations–which range from evolved centaurs to spore carriers–using things like katanas, dynamite, machetes, and throwing spears. It’s a lot of specifics, and unfortunately for my Courier, that meant constantly carrying around a lot of different weapons just in case a situation popped up where I could use X against Y to obtain Z.

Right. I was able to cripple arms and kill robots rather easily as I went along my merry way, but a third challenge constantly seemed far off. I was not interested in fighting feral ghouls, and abominations seemed few and far between as the Courier stuck to the main storyline path based around the Strip. That is until I went to Vault 22. That place is full of horrible creatures not right for this world, but it wasn’t just a matter of slicing them to pieces. Because my Courier is high in guns and low in melee and throwing weapons, I would first try to lower a spore carrier’s health–without killing it in one shot, natch–before finishing it off with a thrown spear to the face. This worked a couple times, but then I ran out of spears. So it was jungle fever action time with a machete, and I had to use a lot of health/food items to make it out alive. But regardless, I did it, and it felt nice to have one challenge-based Achievement dead and done.

However, the other two are looking like even bigger mountains to climb. I already failed my attempt to get two via fighting Caesar, and it is highly unlikely I’m going to go and punch some Deathclaws to death, considering just how much they freak me out. I can’t seem to sneak machine guns into the casinos to kill Chairmen, White Gloves, and Omertas. Burning Cazadors to a crisp is risky business, and I think I’ve done it twice so far. It’s all looking hopeless. But we’ll see. I mean, I guess that’s why they are called challenges.

Remember to be a conscientious driver in Mafia II

It’s a nice afternoon. The sky is blue and clear of clouds, the radio is rocking a head-bopping tune of ol’, and Empire Bay is doing its post-WWII thing. Vito Scalleta and his best friend Joey Barbaro are out for a relaxing drive through the suburbs. Well, relaxing for them. In truth, they are heading to a house, and when they get there, they find a man outside watering his grass with a hose, looking all non-threatening. As quiet as can be, the two of them sneak up behind the man, toss out a cliche saying like, “Blah-blah-blah sends his regards!” and then shoot the life out of him.

The dynamic duo speeds away from the pursuing cops, and as they do, Vito runs a red light–at 70 or 80 mph, mind you. Joe, in all seriousness, berates him for this: “Did you not see that light was red?”

Sadly, Vito doesn’t come back with, “Did you not see we just obliterated a man’s body with bullets and now need to get away so we don’t get locked up or shot to death ourselves by the blue meanies and don’t really have time to obey traffic laws?” Instead, Joe’s line hung in the air, awkward and out-of-place, a piece of dialogue added to the game to instill realism, but working completely against that when context is not considered.

Also, this is going to be my last post about Mafia II. I swears it.

Open-world games thrive on minutiae. From idle chatter to signs in store windows to people carrying umbrellas when it starts to rain, it’s the little things that make the big thing whole. This is probably unfair, but I’m going to compare Mafia II to L.A. Noire, mostly because I view the games as quite similar, but far from each other’s levels. For most of the time, you go on missions with a partner in Mafia II, meaning you always have someone to talk to in the car. Conversely, someone’s always there to comment about your lackluster driving skills. This was the same way things went down in L.A. Noire, but when Cole Phelps would get yelled at for running a red light or hitting another car, it was never because it was Cole being an idiot. It had to do with reminding us that Cole was a man of the law and should set good standards for those watching from the sidewalks; it was there to remind us that we were occasionally driving someone else’s car, and he didn’t like to see it get dinged and danged up. It made sense there and then.

In Mafia II, you are a horrible human being. You kill for money, and that is all you see before your Italian face each and every new day you wake up. And so it just sounds bizarre to hear fellow murderers getting all up at arms over misconduct on the road. Especially during missions where you are trying to chase down another car. Of course you are going to run red lights then. That’s how you chase something, Joe. You can’t do both, commit murder and be a safe driver. This was just one of the more jarring moments in the game, coupled with the fact that the law will shoot first and ask questions later. Imagine a world where if you ran a red light you were popped in the face at close range by a trio of officers. Seems understandable, right?

Okay, that’s it for Mafia II. I’m out.

2012 Game Review Haiku, #18 – Mafia II

Driving along in
My automobile, this game
Is far from genteel

–

For all the games I complete in 2012, instead of wasting time writing a review made up of points and thoughts I’ve probably already expressed here in various posts at Grinding Down, I’m instead just going to write a haiku about it. So there.

The longest journey in BIT.TRIP RUNNER has come to an end

The Odyssey by Homer tells the story of Odysseus and his journey home after the fall of Troy. It is, by no means, a simple skip across the pond. I mean, it takes the man ten years to reach Ithaca, and that’s after the ten-year Trojan War. Do the math correctly, and you’ll end up somewhere around the twenty years mark. That whole time, his wife and son believe him dead and must deal with their own problems. It’s epic in all manners, and if you never read it, you should.

Related to all that, I, too, have just finished a long and epic journey. Sure, sure, it was in a videogame, but it still took time and sweat and perseverance and determination and sacrifice and the occasional curse word or two. I’m talking about the Odyssey level in the first world of BIT.TRIP RUNNER, naturally. I beat it. Finally. See so right here:

LONGEST.JOURNEY: Complete Odyssey

I know, I know. That is unarguable proof, but whatever. Check my Steam profile Achievements if you don’t believe me.

Anyways…this level. This level. It was truly a test of my patience, and if you know me well enough, then you know that I am brimming with patience. It’s all I do–be patient. I’ve been attempting to complete the longest journey for a few months now; getting to the final level is fairly easy in the grand scheme of things, but completing it, surviving all obstacles and making it to the end in one unbreaking stream of motion…well, obviously it’s not impossible, but it is most definitely improbable.

I first attempted to beat it with keyboard controls, but eventually switched over to a plugged-in Xbox 360 controller. This made things easier, but never easy. Jumping, sliding, jumping + kicking while in midair…I can do it all much faster via pushing a button than fumbling my fingers across a keyboard. Not sure why I didn’t make the switch sooner, but I think part of me believed that one was supposed to play it that way, and that using a controller was, in the eyes of the developers, considered “cheating.” And you probably don’t have to ask, but no, I did not collect all the gold bars in Odyssey–AND I NEVER WILL.

Okay, so now I’m stuck on the boss battle directly after this level. Its name is Mingrawn Timbletot, and it’s a flying spaceship that is a pain. You’d think that once someone completed Odyssey, everything thereafter would be like gliding on ice. Nope. I can get past the first two “forms” of the boss, but once he starts spitting out mini-ships in a slightly unpredictable pattern, I’m done. Just can’t nail the timing right. Guess I really am following in Odysseus’ footsteps; hopefully I’ll complete the first boss zone some time during the next twenty years. Hopefully…