Stumbling around unhappily in Dead Rising 2

Over the weekend, some friends showed me a thing called Highschool of the Dead, which follows a group of high school students caught in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. The anime, not the manga, mind you. It’s more or less your typical zombie survival story, but set in a Japanese school and frequently punctuated with gratuitous panty shots and boob bouncing, there to mix and mingle with the violent bloodshed and tense drama. I may or may not watch more of it in the future, but regardless, it got me thinking about zombies again, reminding me that I had two zombie-related videogames downloaded on my Xbox 360, just waiting for my warm hands: The Walking Dead’s “400 Days” and Dead Rising 2.

I decided to see what Dead Rising 2 was all about first. Having only played the demo for Dead Rising way back when, all I know about this franchise is that there are a ton of zombies to kill, and they often block your way from point A to point B. You can use a variety of weapons, some effective and others less than so, and you earn PP by creatively killing zombies, which helps you level up, gain more skills, and unlock new combo cards. That sounds okay to me, if a bit mindless (pun intended). Throw in some Capcom goofiness, and we’re good to go.

No, wait. Hold up, corpse-face. I did play Dead Rising 2: Case Zero, a prequel to Dead Rising 2. It was a four- to five-hour experience that…I don’t remember much about. Oops, my bad. In the end, I wrote that it was worth getting over a sandwich, which is like crazy talk. Dead Rising 2 picks up a couple of years after the events in Case Zero, with Chuck Greene and his daughter trying to survive in Fortune City, which is now swarmed by the undead. He’s been framed for a crime he did not commit, and as you go about trying to clear your name you will rescue survivors, build weapons, give Katey some Zombrex every 24 hours, and kill the walking dead (or just run past them).

To be honest, I’m not having as much fun as I did in Case Zero. In fact, I’m finding the main game to be extremely frustrating and a wee bit unfair. Or maybe I don’t know how to go to the bathroom often enough to save my progress, but I’ve already lost an hour or so of gameplay time after getting stuck in a swarm of zombies with no health left. There are no checkpoints or auto-saves happening, so it is all in your hands to keep on top of that. I either need to make better saving decisions or just not play Dead Rising 2.

When you’re not following the main story missions, you are free to explore Fortune City until something becomes available. Generally, you will be killing zombies in your way and helping others in peril. These, from what I’ve seen, are more or less escort missions, and they are absolutely the worst. Most of the survivors are horrible runners, often getting caught in a zombie’s arms, and they lose health fast. Also, if you swing at the zombie biting them and accidentally hit them in the process, they will die. Don’t ask me how I know this.

I’m still in Act 1 for Dead Rising 2, not having fun, but I’ll try playing some more and see if I can get anywhere. I think I just might no longer attempt to save anyone, as it is really more of a hassle than anything else. I know you get some extra PP bonus or whatever, but man. I just don’t know. If there was no time limit, I’d just like to run around the casinos, finding fun and silly ways to annoy zombies before knocking their heads off. If only…

2013 Game Review Haiku, #29 – The Walking Dead, “400 Days”

Learn how some strangers
Joined together to survive
This short but sweet tease

–

These little haikus proved to be quite popular in 2012, so I’m gonna keep them going for another year. Or until I get bored with them. Whatever comes first. If you want to read more words about these games that I’m beating, just search around on Grinding Down. I’m sure I’ve talked about them here or there at some point. Anyways, enjoy my videogamey take on Japanese poetry.

Top of the mornin’ to ya, 41,000 Gamerscore

When I first got my Xbox 360 some three or four years ago and began racking up Achievement points, I cared very much about my Gamerscore. In fact, I was able to hit 10,000 points on the dot, and from that moment I knew that I’d always have the internal goal to hit such milestones perfectly. Chalk it up to some light OCD or strange compulsions or me continuing to focus on the things that matter the least, but there’s something so nice about a big solid number like that. I continued on slowly, but steadfast, earning 20,000 Gamerscore and 30,000 Gamerscore a year apart from one another.

Unfortunately, I was unable to get 40,000 Gamerscore perfectly. Yeah, I know. Boo. Big boo. A big boo-hoo doodie doo. We can blame Fable III, as it suddenly awarded me an Achievement worth 85 Gamerscore points, which I was not banking on, putting me well over 40,000 in one fell beep. And so the tradition broke. I was saddened, but not completely sad. My love for Achievements and desire to unlock many of them has certainly withered, but I set a new–if less lofty–goal for getting 41,000 Gamerscore, and hit the mark last night. No, really. Check it out:

The free games Doritos Crash Course 2 and Magic the Gathering 2013 helped me get there. For DCC2, just some light grinding got me two Achievements, and they just hand you a bunch in MtG2013 for playing the first few parts of the campaign. So it wasn’t exactly a challenge, but that’s okay.

And I still plan to go for 50,000 Gamerscore because chances are very low that I’ll be moving into the next generation of gaming consoles this year. If I do, it’ll probably be with the PlayStation 4, but I have plenty of games in my collection still to plan and unlock Achievements in. Like Dead Rising 2, Assassin’s Creed II, and many others I’ve yet to even touch.

But for now, let’s just bask in the unconventional glory that is 41,000 Gamerscore.

El Shaddai: Ascension of the Metatron is Biblical apocrypha in videogame form

Back in March 2013, there was a random sale on the Xbox Games on Demand marketplace section hub, and the cheapest deal among reduced prices was $2.50 for El Shaddai: Ascension of the Metatron. I knew nothing about the game, but it had an intriguing–if long-winded–name, and a couple of screenshots told me that I was guaranteed to play something at least visually striking. So I pulled the trigger, promptly downloaded 6 GB of unknown stuff, and played the first two chapters, unsure of what to make of things. Several months later, I came back to the game and burned through the remaining chapters over a couple of nights, and I’m still unsure of what to think. I like a lot of El Shaddai, but some aspects are of the fun-ruining frustrating ilk.

The game’s plot is heavily inspired by the apocryphal Book of Enoch, which follows Enoch, a scribe searching for seven fallen angels in hopes of preventing a great flood from destroying mankind. He is helped in this epic quest by Lucifel, a guardian angel in charge of the protection of the world who exists outside of the flow of time, and four Archangels. However, there’s a modern spin here, as Lucifel, voiced by an unrecognizable Jason Isaacs, uses a cell phone to converse with God, and several levels are set in a futuristic, Tron-like cityscape. Basically, you are trying to climb a tower, defeating fallen angels on each level, until you get to the top, to defeat the fallenest of all angels and save the world from the wrath of…God? Satan? Y’know, to be honest, I don’t really know which is the opposing force in this game.

Gameplay is mostly hack-and-slash action in the same vein as Devil May Cry, with the ability to knock an enemy in the air and juggle them with sword swipes. Er, sorry–I mean arch swipes. Enoch gets three different weapon types as he progresses: an arch for quick slashes, a gale for ranged attacks, and a veil for slow, but devastatingly powerful punches capable of shattering weapons. You can pull off some combos, as well as steal an enemy’s weapon to replace your own and take them down a notch. I found fighting Gale-wielding enemies to be the most challenging, but you eventually learn all the patterns. For bosses, it’s all about patience and waiting for an opening to attack. If you do die, you can mash some of the buttons repeatedly to revive yourself, and on Normal difficulty, you could do this four or five times, which made getting through some unrelenting fights possible.

Visually, El Shaddai is a delight. Every chapter offers something completely different, and the best-looking stuff can be found in the interim platforming levels connecting two chapters. There’s one section early on that I found myself smiling through its entirety, despite the challenge being presented. There’s a lot of pinks and purples and watercolor-like washing for background skies, as well as strange geometry throughout. Enoch and Lucifel have a pretty stylized, hair-billowing anime look to them, though I found most of the fallen angels to be boring design-wise considering they all wear the same getup for most of their battles.

Two things really bothered me with El Shaddai, and they both have nothing to do with its religious slant. One: the platforming sucks. Like, no. It’s some of the worst. You can barely tell where Enoch is going to land when he jumps, and the controls are so twitchy that, oftentimes, you’d still fall off a platform after getting there in one piece. Considering that platforming is how you move from one event to another, it needed to be tighter. Two: there’s no indication on-screen of how much damage Enoch was able to take, and how hurt the bosses were. Most of the time, it was impossible to tell, and some weapons are ineffective against certain foes and armor, causing me to second guess my choices. Strangely, after you beat the game, you are given the ability to turn on health gauges for Enoch and bosses. Yeah, that’s a bit boggling.

I will not be going back to play El Shaddai on a higher difficulty, but there’s an Achievement or two left that seem feasible. Otherwise, a gorgeous game with a plot that’s hard to concentrate on, given that the screen is just one explosion of artistic beauty after another. Play it to see.

2013 Game Review Haiku, #24 – Fable III

Fable II better
Just play Fable II, really
Bring back Fable II

–

These little haikus proved to be quite popular in 2012, so I’m gonna keep them going for another year. Or until I get bored with them. Whatever comes first. If you want to read more words about these games that I’m beating, just search around on Grinding Down. I’m sure I’ve talked about them here or there at some point. Anyways, enjoy my videogamey take on Japanese poetry.

Mean gnomes, friendly fire, tenacious towers, extra elements, and goliath beetles

Alas, I’m still not in a place to really write at length about the videogames I’m playing (or thinking about playing). Y’know, unless that writing is really short and in the form of a haiku. This hard swing seems to happen every summer, and it’s mostly because I’m extremely stressed to day jobbery things that I won’t ever go into publicly and working on laying out a book of my 365 BAD COMICS, but I am still Pauly, which means I am playing games whether there are words to attach to them or not because they help soothe my soul. I figured it’d be easier to give y’all a little rundown on what I’m playing as of late and how it’s going than waiting for the inevitable to never happen.

And away we go.

Fable III

Well, this is not a very good game, in all aspects of something being a game. No, sir. It’s janky and lazy and poorly paced and unclear in its directions and overly interested in telling the player silly data, and I hate the “no menu” mentality, as there is nothing wrong with menus, so long as the menus are designed properly. The dog is pointless to the point of annoying and should have been left behind; that was Fable 2‘s thing. Being the king of Albion is not as cool or special as one might assume. I’m currently right near the end-all battle, but I want to clean up all the remaining side quests (finding gnomes, silver keys, gold keys) because I am never going to play this again. I’m glad it was free, but I’m sad to see how dry and drained it is compared to the previous adventure, something I enjoyed. There are still some very pretty locales and cool beard options though.

Battlefield 3

This is a game I really do want to write more about at length, as I’m playing it for educational purposes, to figure out what it is about realistic, war-themed FPS titles that I find so uninteresting and off-putting. So far, this game has all of that–whatever it is–and then some. I’m also finding it extremely difficult to see due to how real and dark the environments are, accidentally shooting my own teammates. Thankfully, friendly fire is in play–though the game openly states such actions will not be tolerated–so I’m not ruining missions at every turn. But yeah. I’ve done ground fights, tank fights, sky fights, sniper stuff, and so on. It’s pretty boring.

Defense Grid: The Awakening

This is the first free game for us Xbox 360 players with Gold accounts. It’s an old, downloadable RTS game from a few years back, with upgradable towers. It’s slow, as slow as if I was to actually build a tower myself, but I was able to play a few levels past the tutorial stuff. Not sure if I’ll hop back into it, as it is almost the exact opposite of the only RTS game I’ve really enjoyed recently: Kingdom Rush. Oh well.

Chrono Cross

I’m now at the turning point of my sorta re-play of Chrono Cross where I’m experiencing parts I’ve never gotten to before. This is exciting. I always got to the moment in time where Serge and Lynx do the Freaky Friday and then lost interest quickly after that. Despite some hiccups, this replay has been pretty steadily chugging along, and I’m now working on beating a bunch of dragon gods into submission. I still absolutely love the music and the battle system with a passion unlike anything else. More about Chrono Cross later, I promise.

Animal Crossing: New Leaf

I am loving my new daily life as mayor of Arni in Animal Crossing: New Leaf, but am taking it pretty slow. In fact, I’ve only gone to the island four or five times now, and that’s the place many players hop to and from to earn big bells thanks to the special beetles they got there. Just finished expanding the museum with a second floor and gift shop, and am now working on increasingly my house to have a larger second room. That’s gonna be where I put all my Japanese furniture. Other than that, it’s the same ol’ addiction and easygoing gameplay from the previous game, and the emergent gameplay in multiplayer is a joy to watch unfold.

—

So that’s the handful of games I’m currently playing. Pretty exciting, I know. I’m also contemplating if I’ll pick up Shin Megami Tensei IV or not tomorrow. Hmm, we’ll see…

2013 Game Review Haiku, #21 – Doritos Crash Course 2

Slide jump for big air
Run up walls like you don’t care
For free, this is fair

–

These little haikus proved to be quite popular in 2012, so I’m gonna keep them going for another year. Or until I get bored with them. Whatever comes first. If you want to read more words about these games that I’m beating, just search around on Grinding Down. I’m sure I’ve talked about them here or there at some point. Anyways, enjoy my videogamey take on Japanese poetry.

Doritos Crash Course 2, now with free-to-play gimmicks

Over the years, I’ve stepped away from Doritos. It all really started when I got seriously ill the day Obama was first sworn into office–not because, just using that day in history to place you in the moment–and ended up vomiting a lot back in my teeny, tiny studio apartment before passing out for hours in bed while FX continuously played Troy for like six to eight hours. It was a nightmare. And I had eaten some Doritos Cool Ranch chips earlier for lunch that day, and well…they weren’t any better coming up. Ever since then, I’ve fully stayed away from all things Cool Ranch–called Cool American in Sweden, something I learned recently from Giant Bomb–but have, on occasion, enjoyed a Nacho Cheese chip now and then.

But I’m not here to just talk about chips. Doritos does other stuff, too. Like videogames. Well, they support folks making games and use their name to brand it. If you’ll recall with me, back in late 2010, a game called Doritos Crash Course was released for free on the Xbox 360. It was surprising, for sure, an energetic mix of timed platforming and region-related spectacle, but fun all around. As well as free. It’s now been a couple years, and we’re getting the sequel for free too, though it has changed quite dramatically, even if it looks and–for the most part–tastes the same.

Instead of having levels based around specific regions like the United States or Japan, they are now built thematically. The first one is a jungle, maybe Mayan-based. And the second one appears to be snowy. Don’t know what the other two look like. Originally, your goal was simply to get to the end of the course in the best time, avoiding pitfalls along the way; now, as you run left to right, you can collect Stars, tackle secondary objectives, and use alternate paths to get to the end faster and much more successfully. Stars are used to purchase things outside of the level–these can be Avatar accessories, which do come with a stat and flavor text, or additional levels, side paths, and jinxes. And then this is where Doritos Crash Course 2 shows its free-to-play side, with you being able to buy additional Stars with real money. Well, real money that you turn into Microsoft Points. But still: microtransactions.

Just like in Happy Wars, I can easily ignore all the FTP gimmicks until it gets in my way of actually playing the game. So far, that hasn’t happened, though it looks like I’ve have to return to previously completed courses to find hidden stars if I want enough to unlock more levels. No big deal. I just don’t want to have to pay for power-ups or extra Stars in hope of progressing forward. The game suffers from tiny text syndrome, which makes reading some of the level requirements and secondary objectives dang difficult, but when in full screen, the game is pretty and runs smoothly. You can now run up walls, too, which I don’t remember being in the original, and it can be tricky, though Tara found a way to squirrel hop from wall to wall which is pretty effective. Hey, we also played some local multiplayer, too, which zooms out extremely far, but we were still able to run and climb with the best of ’em.

Looking forward to checking out more. Oh, and it is still a ton of fun to slide down a slope, jump to a trampoline, and fly over some deadly obstacle to finish in first place. Mostly because my Avatar whips out an electric guitar and jams.

Gordon Freeman loves exploding Striders and collapsing portals

Well, looks like I’ve finally caught up with the videogaming community, having to now join the hordes of many waiting for Valve to release Episode Three for its Half-Life 2 series. Or the hordes that have given up waiting. Take that, you sneaky headcrabs, bullet-sponge Hunters, and dozen-plus Striders from the final battle. No, really, take it, and never bother me again because that final fight was a bit overwhelming.

Yup, that’s right. Over the weekend, on a random whim–are there really any other kind?–I popped in The Orange Box, loaded up my last hard save for Half-Life 2: Episode Two, and remembered why I walked away from that game some many months ago. First, for those keeping score at home, I played through maybe fifty or sixty percent of Half-Life 2, but ended up getting stuck on the “Nova Prospekt” level due to a nasty switch glitch. Bummed out on that, I simply skipped over to Episode One, and burned through that adventure rather fast, enjoying it quite a bit, especially for its bite-sized aspects. I don’t remember when I started Episode Two, but it probably wasn’t directly afterwards. I’d check Achievement dates, but I’m too lazy; now there’s some stark honesty for y’all.

According to my last manual save, I stopped playing at the part where two large and very aggressive antlions are attacking Gordon, Alyx, and one of those Resistance-friendly alien dudes. If he/she/it had a name, I no longer remember it. Gorbak? Zymla? Naaaah. Anyways, took me three attempts to figure out how to kill both antlions effectively without losing too much health and ammo. Once they were out of the way, the path was pretty clear, and Freeman and Alyx hurried down it, eager to reach White Forest and pass on the data they had, which could help in closing the Combine’s looming sky-portal. Along the way, there was a bridge puzzle, some seriously great zombie sniping by Alyx, a short bit of sneaking, really bad driving from points A to B to C, and then a pretty tough final fight with a lot of to and fro and frantic shooting. I had to try that final fight two more times before I got it right.

Despite being released about six years ago, Episode Two still holds up extremely well, mostly from a story and pacing perspective. The graphics are fine though clearly dated to what most current gen titles can produce, like how boxes break into large, polygonal chunks. Some gameplay elements like no third-person view for driving and a lot of first-person platforming feel stiff and unfriendly. Also, you can’t zoom in with all the weapons and shoot, which is a bit weird, considering every FPS these days at least lets you look down ironsights. Also, this is one of those rare games where I actually used the shotgun more than any other firearm, and that’s because it can take down enemies wielding headcrabs in one clean shot. Pistols were complete junk, as was the Gravity Gun, surprisingly. The Magnusson Device, which is introduced during the final fight, is not easy to pick up, especially since you mostly have to guess how to arc the sticky bombs; I would have appreciated getting it earlier on to test it out on the field against live, moving targets. Oh well.

Thanks to Alyx, D0g, and Alyx’s father, the story is emotionally engaging, which makes the adventure to White Forest feel burly and vital, and like I mentioned, once I got past those two antlions, I burned through the remainder of it all, having to see it through. I appreciate that for most dialogue, Freeman is free to walk around and explore the area while still listening to whoever talk. Sometimes, like with Alyx’s father, I just stood there, locked into his words, but it is nice to know that you are not forced to. Shame the whole story ends on one crazy big cliffhanger…

Maybe one day I’ll go back and see how Half-Life 2 played out, though I kind of already know from Episode One and Episode Two. And now we wait…

2013 Game Review Haiku, #16 – Half-Life 2: Episode Two

The Freeman is back
Needs to reach White Forest, does
Despite those Striders

–

These little haikus proved to be quite popular in 2012, so I’m gonna keep them going for another year. Or until I get bored with them. Whatever comes first. If you want to read more words about these games that I’m beating, just search around on Grinding Down. I’m sure I’ve talked about them here or there at some point. Anyways, enjoy my videogamey take on Japanese poetry.