FIRST IMPRESSIONS: Bayonetta demo

Bayonetta, created by Hideki Kamiya, the brains behind Devil May Cry, is a videogame that seems to have folks in Japan going love-crazy. Me? Not so much.

Downloaded the demo last night for the Xbox 360, and without knowing much or anything about the game, dived right into the mix of things. It starts with some random bits of story, which really tell you nothing, and then opens the demo up to three areas: training, the Falling Clock tower level, and the Angel’s Metropolis level. Each section involves a ton of button-mashing and motion sickness.

First, Bayonetta is a weird woman. Her entire outfit is made from her hair, and she has guns on her feet. The amount of combos she can do–at least in the demo–is impressive, but good luck trying to really see each one in action. Your best bet for staying alive is to constantly hit the Y and B buttons while dodging left and right to initiate bullet time witch time. Do a combo just right and you might get to torture your victim, which provides for some fun, original death moves.

Anyways, training is training. Just an empty space where you can learn some moves and a bit of the basics. The Falling Clock tower level is just that, a cinematic piece of jumping from tower-chunk to tower-chunk while taking out bird enemies. I wish there had been time to admire the background details or even Bayonetta herself as she pulled off a bunch of sick moves, but alas, it all goes by in a blur. The game has a frenetic pace, and once your life bar starts to deplete you will just smash ATTACK, ATTACK, ATTACK, and pray you make it out alive.

The best part of the Bayonetta demo, however, is the final section: the Angel’s Metropolis. After falling through the sky and fighting giant bird-freaks, Bayonetta is suddenly on a train. I have no idea how the two scenes connect, if they even do (was it a dream?). We’re then in a hub world, with most of the other worlds block off for now. Head straight down the path, fight some more enemies, earn coins and pick up colored gems (?), and then you’ll get to do two boss battles. These are fun and not completely frantic, which is nice because you can then work on some strategy.

The demo lasted for about 15 minutes and was somewhat fun. However, the button-mashing, one million things on screen happening at once sort of gameplay left me nauseous and unimpressed. Controlling the camera is problematic, too. I did, however, get a Gold trophy for all my butt-kicking. Not sure what that means though.

The Best/Worst Glitches in Fallout 3

There’s a really great list of Fallout 3 glitches over at Bitmob, which is totally worth checking out.

I’ve come across a few in my 70+ hours of gameplay, but the one that bothers me the most is probably not even a glitch in glitch-terms. It has something to do with the physics engine. Anyways, whenever I re-enter a room in which I shot up some robots or Super Mutants, they always reappear and then crumble to the floor, scaring the living the daylights out of me. Even now when I expect it, the sound of bodies thumping to the ground makes me jump. I don’t really get why it happens…

I’ve also experienced a Deathclaw being sucked into the sky, over and over and over. Fun to watch for a bit. Until, y’know, it lands on you.

Got any favorites glitches?

Fallout 3 froze again

My second freeze after over 70+ hours…which is not a terrible record by any means, but still, I’m nervous. Was in Point Lookout and I fast traveled to the boardwalk area only to have the music get all glitchy and then poof…FROZE. Hadn’t been playing for very long at the time either so maybe it is just the DLC. Think good thoughts, everyone.

JUST BEAT: Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion

…and by “just beat” I mean I completed the main quest the other night. Let’s just say it was beyond lame. I have many reasons to back this up, but first, some backstory.

Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion is one of the games that led me to get an Xbox 360 (other key games include Fable II and Fallout 3), and I quickly immersed myself in Cyrodiil, honing my archery skills and sneaking through caves and ancient ruins alike to loot, loot, and loot some more. Upon first playing, I did the main quest up to the part where you return from Camoran’s paradise where I then gleefully wandered off to do sidequests and just explore. This was fun…for some time, but then my collection started to grow and I kind of forgot about Martin and Daedra and shutting down Oblivion gates. On occasion, I’d pop Oblivion back in and poke about for an hour or two. The last time I played the game before this past weekend was back in August. Er…yeah.

So yeah, I got motivated and figured I could complete the main quest at the very least if I buckled down and focused. Little did I know that it would involved little-to-none buckling down and zero focus. Ah, Oblivion, you lazy bastard. Grabbing Martin by his Sean Bean neck, I headed over to the Imperial City to re-light the Dragonfires and save Cyrodiil. This took less than 10 minutes. Here, I will give you a step by step:

1. Introduce Martin to some dude
2. Fight off a few Daedra that interrupt us
3. Move to the next zone
4. Fight off a few Daedra that interrupt us
5. Move to the next zone
6. Run past the Daedric Prince Mehrunes Dagon without incident
7. Control is taken away from the player and you watch as Martin turns into a dragon-bird to destroy Mehrunes

LESS THAN TEN MINUTES.

Probably the lamest aspect of this final main quest is that you are not playing at the end. You are watching. Or maybe you are not and you got up to pee or something. That is reasonable. The fact still remains; just when something large and epic is finally happening in Oblivion, you are put on pause, you are asked to stop role-playing, and you are forced to watch a stilted, turn-based battle between bird and demon-beast. It’s so anticlimactic that I can’t even imagine what other possibilities they threw away before going with this one.

I dunno if I’ll go back again and finish up the different guilds and expansion packs any time soon. It just seems kind of fruitless, especially after all the Fallout 3 I’ve been playing. Those quests offer both awards and gold, something severely lacking in Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, and even though each game had problematic endings, at least Fallout 3 was able to undo it and move on.

Fallout 3 Xbox avatar items on the horizon

Um, yeah, I know I’ve said before that paying for digital clothing and trinkets to dress up your digital self is silly and a stupid waste of money. War never changes, sure, but my outlook on this stupid trend just might because…

On Thursday, November 26, Bethesda is releasing the following Fallout 3 items on the Xbox Avatar Marketplace:

• Vault 101 Suit — 240 MS Points
• Bethesda Game Studios Shirt — 80 MS Points
• Fallout 3 Ringer Shirt — 80 MS Points
• Vault Boy Shirt — 80 MS Points
• Vault Boy Suit — 240 MS Points
• Vault Boy Head — 80 MS Points

Of them all, the Vault 101 Suit is looking the slickest.

Overheard this convo in GameStop last night

Before hitting up Quiznos for a delicious sammich last night, I browsed through the GameStop next door for a few minutes. So many DS games, so many that I want to play and experience. I left the store empty-handed, but not before overhearing the following conversation:

Customer: How’s Modern Warfare 2?
Cashier dude: Fucking sick. Shit’s like…fuck, man. Sick.
Customer: Yeah? Sweet.
Cashier dude: But I gotta be honest with you. Assassin’s Creed II is killing it. I didn’t think it would, but it’s killing it.
Customer: You’re lying.
Cashier dude: It’s good, man. They fixed it. Like ten people traded in Warfare today for it.
Customer: Oh. Is it sick?
Cashier dude: No, I’m fine.
Customer: No, the game.
Cashier dude: Oh, yeah? Warfare‘s sick.
Customer: …

Yup.

That said, despite having some qualms with Assassin’s Creed, my interest in Assassin’s Creed II is growing. If only it wasn’t $59.99 though. Money, you do not make things easy.

Mass Effect 2 cover art is out-of-this-world lame

See?

It’s not terrible art, but it lacks a certain punch. The hero, the lady with poised gun, the multicolored alien, the lens flare…it’s all just a bit generic, which is a shame as previews would have you believe that Mass Effect 2 is bigger and better than its predecessor. The first game’s cover definitely gave off a “explore the galaxy!” vibe while this one merely says “shoot things!” and “be disgruntled!”

Oh well. Can’t win ’em all, Bioware.

Twitter, Facebook, Last.fm, and more arriving on Xbox 360 November 17

That’s right. A slew of social content is coming to Xbox Live on Tuesday, November 17, including Facebook, Twitter, Last.fm, Zune video, and a new “News and More” section, which will draw from MSNBC, The New Yorker, and Dilbert for content. Wait…Dilbert? Hmm.

Seems that the services are only available to Xbox Live Gold members but us lowly Silver users (must be 18+ for Facebook and Twitter) will be able to get a sample thanks to a Free Gold Weekend happening from Friday to Sunday. I’ll be sure to try it out and let the world know what I think of it. Personally, I still feel like much of the social shtuff such as tweeting and updating statuses will be time-consuming, awkward, and worse for wear, but let’s wait until I can actually update my status with “Just blew a Super Mutant Overlord to pieces with a Lincoln’s Repeater headshot!” before I start with the nay-saying.

Until then…

IMPRESSIONS: Left 4 Dead 2 demo

I try not to judge a book by its cover. Similarly, I try not to judge a videogame by its…heck, they are different beasts than books and by the time a game is released the public has already been spoon-fed screenshots, trailers, previews, demos, and a landfill of hype. So a videogame’s retail cover means nothing in actuality, but what I’m trying to say is that I normally shy away from the crazy, fast-paced shooters of this generation because I feel like they are just not my kind of game. I’m talking about the Halos, the Gears of Wars, the Call of Dutys, and the Left 4 Deads. Last night, I put that theory to the test.

Left 4 Dead 2 comes out on November 17, and a demo for the zombie shootathon went up on Xbox Live at the end of October. Y’know, to gets folks excited. However, being a lowly wielder of the Silver account, I had to wait until yesterday to download it. Oh, lowly me.

The demo offers up two modes of play–single player and online campaign–within one of the game’s five episodes, The Parish, with the first two sections of that episode available for exploring. There’s no story introduction, and you’re dropped off a boat next to, magically, a table of weapons. Grab your gear and go. Go where? Forward. Then the zombies swarm (or maybe not, thanks to the clever and always thinking AI director), and here’s where the problems started…for me, at least.

One, nervous and unsure of how to play, I hung back and allowed my three other teammates to dole out punishment. A single zombie did not get through so basically I just stood in a corner watching. This is equivalent to watching an in-game cinema. I did nothing.

Second, when I finally did decide to shoot some zombies I ended up hitting my teammates more often. They scolded me, and I retreated to hiding in a corner, popping off a shot only when it was clear who what I was aiming at. This only worked in the open areas, like the park and streets. Inside buildings was a no-trigger zone. Was there a button for zoom? I couldn’t figure it out.

Anyways, you’ll travel down streets, through a dark kitchen, across a shrub-heavy park, all while shooting a variety of zombies. They are fast zombies, too, some jumping on your head and others spitting Ecto Cooler at you. The graphics are colorful and strong, and the physicality of everything is pretty impressive, especially how zombies fall differently under gunfire versus melee weapons. In dark areas, the light from your flashlight makes for eerie gunfights. I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing with some of the items I found, and I just moved from place to place when it go too quiet until eventually the demo came to an end.

Then I played the demo a second time, and the entire scenario was different, which was nice. Very nice, and I slowly improved on shooting zombies. So I’ll pass on the full retail game, as I don’t have anyone to play with (and I’m assuming this is a great game for friends and such) and just replay the demo when I get a hankering for a zombie massacre.

At least now I can say with total authority that Left 4 Dead 2 is not my kind of videogame experience.

Doesn’t Play Well with Others

While hunting around Fallout 3‘s Capital Wasteland last night for more Bobbleheads, I unlocked the following achievement after over 50 hours of total gameplay:

Doesn’t Play Well with Others (20G): Kill 300 people

And it’s true. I don’t play well with others. More interestingly, I don’t play well with critters either, as at the time this unlocked I had killed over 600 creatures, ranging from Mole Rats to Mirelurks to one or two Deathclaws. My violence record, you can now has it.