Remember to be a conscientious driver in Mafia II

It’s a nice afternoon. The sky is blue and clear of clouds, the radio is rocking a head-bopping tune of ol’, and Empire Bay is doing its post-WWII thing. Vito Scalleta and his best friend Joey Barbaro are out for a relaxing drive through the suburbs. Well, relaxing for them. In truth, they are heading to a house, and when they get there, they find a man outside watering his grass with a hose, looking all non-threatening. As quiet as can be, the two of them sneak up behind the man, toss out a cliche saying like, “Blah-blah-blah sends his regards!” and then shoot the life out of him.

The dynamic duo speeds away from the pursuing cops, and as they do, Vito runs a red light–at 70 or 80 mph, mind you. Joe, in all seriousness, berates him for this: “Did you not see that light was red?”

Sadly, Vito doesn’t come back with, “Did you not see we just obliterated a man’s body with bullets and now need to get away so we don’t get locked up or shot to death ourselves by the blue meanies and don’t really have time to obey traffic laws?” Instead, Joe’s line hung in the air, awkward and out-of-place, a piece of dialogue added to the game to instill realism, but working completely against that when context is not considered.

Also, this is going to be my last post about Mafia II. I swears it.

Open-world games thrive on minutiae. From idle chatter to signs in store windows to people carrying umbrellas when it starts to rain, it’s the little things that make the big thing whole. This is probably unfair, but I’m going to compare Mafia II to L.A. Noire, mostly because I view the games as quite similar, but far from each other’s levels. For most of the time, you go on missions with a partner in Mafia II, meaning you always have someone to talk to in the car. Conversely, someone’s always there to comment about your lackluster driving skills. This was the same way things went down in L.A. Noire, but when Cole Phelps would get yelled at for running a red light or hitting another car, it was never because it was Cole being an idiot. It had to do with reminding us that Cole was a man of the law and should set good standards for those watching from the sidewalks; it was there to remind us that we were occasionally driving someone else’s car, and he didn’t like to see it get dinged and danged up. It made sense there and then.

In Mafia II, you are a horrible human being. You kill for money, and that is all you see before your Italian face each and every new day you wake up. And so it just sounds bizarre to hear fellow murderers getting all up at arms over misconduct on the road. Especially during missions where you are trying to chase down another car. Of course you are going to run red lights then. That’s how you chase something, Joe. You can’t do both, commit murder and be a safe driver. This was just one of the more jarring moments in the game, coupled with the fact that the law will shoot first and ask questions later. Imagine a world where if you ran a red light you were popped in the face at close range by a trio of officers. Seems understandable, right?

Okay, that’s it for Mafia II. I’m out.

2012 Game Review Haiku, #18 – Mafia II

Driving along in
My automobile, this game
Is far from genteel

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For all the games I complete in 2012, instead of wasting time writing a review made up of points and thoughts I’ve probably already expressed here in various posts at Grinding Down, I’m instead just going to write a haiku about it. So there.

The monotony of Mafia II

There are a couple of new(ish) videogames out for the Xbox 720 360 that have my interest, but after spending $60 on Game of Thrones: The Game and not even wanting to play it any further than the opening chapters due to “dog stealth” fatigue…I’m thinking I need to hold back for just a tiny bit. Finish some titles I have instead of just buying more, more, and more. For those curious, the games I’m mulling about right now are The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings (probably what I want the Game of Thrones muck to actually be) and Dragon’s Dogma. Yup, RPGs. What a shocker.

So, Mafia II. It’s a game I waited a long time to receive as it was being passed around by the First Hour gangers, and then when I got it, I played for a little bit before being severely turned off by the main character’s lack of conscience and unwavering drive to make money, no matter who ended up in the woodchipper. I stopped playing during the mission where you had to sneak inside a building and steal some gas stamps; I failed it a few times due to being spotted and wanted the Achievement that rewarded players for going unnoticed, but then I forgot about the whole thing for many months. Until last week, that is. Go me:

The Professional (10G): Obtain the ration stamps without raising the alarm.

Boom. Well…silent boom. And so, completing this mission helped fuel me forward, as the game moves at a rather quick pace. Not an exciting or fun pace, mind you, but a pace that a man running a marathon would appreciate. Though I did almost give up on the whole thing once Vito Scalleta got to prison and you had to do so many fights, which are probably the worst parts of the game. Especially when it just seems like you press the dodge button, and then you don’t dodge the hit. Frustrating and clunky to be sure. I hope there’s less fighting to come though I know there’s an Achievement for knocking out 30 dudes this way. Might not be worth the grind…

Tara enjoys watching me play Mafia II. Guess it reminds her of L.A. Noire, and I can see that in certain spots. It is, of course, nowhere as amazing, but there is some overlap. However, there are times I can’t get over the extremely monotonous activities this game makes you do as a player, such as handing out boxes of cigarettes, scrubbing toilets and floors, and using squeegees to clean windows. Like, those are the things you do between more back-and-forth driving and more hide-and-seek shooting. Oh, and filling up your gas tank. Cause I don’t get to do that enough in real life. Anyways, when these fireworks-inducing moments happen, I like to exclaim, “Videogames! 2012!”

Other than chapter-related Achievements, here’s two more that I earned with my supreme driving and shooting skills:

The Enforcer (10G): Kill 50 enemies.

Get Rich or Die Flyin’ (10G): Get all wheels of your car into the air for at least 20 meters and then touch the ground again.

Right now, I’m in the middle of Chapter 10, helping my less-than-stellar friend Joe clean up a little accident. According to the list of Achievements…there are 14 or 15 chapters total, which means I’m close to the end. That’s surprising, but I’m okay with that. I just want to complete Mafia II and be done with its utter blandness. The only thing I’ll miss is putting the speed limiter on and driving around the city to some truly great tunes. Oh well. Guess that’s what Grooveshark is for these days.

The missing videogames from E3 2012

Well, E3 2012 has come and gone, and the general reception to it as a whole has been…pretty lackluster. That no one company “won” or really brought out the big guns or even seemed to understand what to focus on. It all felt like padding and skirting around what’s to come and that there’s still no reason anyone should purchase a Nintendo Wii U or feel excited about Internet Explorer becoming available on Xbox 360 for all your non-gaming browsing needs.

A few new games got announced or shown off more, and that’s all good. Truly, many of them look like a whole bag of fun. I’m really interested in Paper Mario: Sticker Star, Scribblenauts Unlimited, Disney Epic Mickey: Power of Illusion, Assassin’s Creed III, LEGO City Undercover, The Last of Us, Dishonored, and Watch Dogs. Now, of course, I probably won’t get all of these games when they come out, especially considering some are for the PS3 or next-gen consoles, but they have at least got me thinking about them. Mostly the ones from Nintendo.

However, some games did not appear in any capacity, and that’s a little saddening. Maddening, too, considering a few are–to me, mind you–crazy big properties that could really have had an impact on an audience the size that E3 2012 draws.

Here’s what got no love this year…

Animal Crossing 3DS

Breaks my animal-loving heart, this one. It’s coming out this fall in Japan, which leads me to believe it’ll arrive in the United States by spring 2013, but man. This should have been a launch title. This should have be a post-launch window title. This should have been more than something kept in the shadows, let out occasionally to eat and breath. It’s a game designed around using your 3DS every single day. Think about that. It’s probably being held back to align with the Wii U–whatever, Nintendo.

Fantasy Life

I am really worried about Fantasy Life. It first surfaced in August 2009 with a really charming art style and the promise of living a typical life in a typical fantasy realm. Baker, merchant, priest…your call. Looking back at it now, I see Professor Layton’s London Life in a lot of those screens; unfortunately, that style was not to last, as the game got reskinned for the 3DS, looking different but still touting great gameplay. Nothing new has been reported on it for a long, long time, and so it might be dead and done. Boo.

Slime Mori Mori Dragon Quest 3/Rocket Slime 3DS

Boats. Boooooats! I’ve not yet completed my copy of Dragon Quest Heroes: Rocket Slime for the Nintendo DS, but the time I spent with it was a great. Light-hearted Zelda-like action full of puns and crazy tense tank battles. It’s a quirky game that truly deserves a sequel like this. Japan is getting it. Will the United States though? The silence is kinda telling…

The Legend of Zelda Wii U

Nintendo showed some demo-like stuff last year for a new Zelda game on the Wii U. You’d think that some 365 days later they’d have more to show or solidify with that project. Um…nope. New consoles from Nintendo live and thrive on new experiences from their constant standbys Mario and Link, and it just doesn’t seem like that’s happening this time around. Which is, obviously, quite worrying.

The Last Guardian

Guess the devs are still working on that pivotal cinematic scene where your birdy companion dies in a tragic way and somber music plays for two minutes while you use up every tissue within arm’s length.

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So, yeah. Hopefully more info on these games will pop up in other places this year. It’s just a shame we didn’t get much on ’em from the people working on them at E3 2012.

What were you hoping to see this year that didn’t make an appearance?

Let’s give it up for extreme violence at E3 2012

First, a true fact: I am not at the physical E3, set at the Los Angeles Convention center, but I can still hear the clapping.

Clapping, in general, is a standard at a convention or event where someone talks and then pauses in anticipation. It’s also pretty much expected when shown something exciting, such as a new game trailer or even just a teensy weensy teaser to get the blood a-pumping and the heartrate up. It’s a reaction, and it is, more or less, a confirmation that what was shown was appreciated or desired or looked upon favorably. Golf claps and sarcastic, slow-building claps that are found only in cinematic talkies are different beasts. However, from what I witnessed via live-streams of E3 2012 press conferences, there are two instances of clapping that struck me as…woefully odd. Disappointing, too.

One happened during a live demo of The Last of Us, and the other during a live demo of God of War: Ascension, and both are sad reminders of why the media portrays gamers as violent-minded folk. When you clap for extreme violence, you are clapping with genuine excitement. You clap because you care.

In God of War: Ascension, during a boss fight, Kratos does his QTE thing and rips out a monster’s brain and then slices it in half, as if the ripping out the brain didn’t already do the needful. This got a rousing reaction from the crowd, with applause to back it up. In The Last of Us, Joel takes the head of a man attacking him and slams it repeatedly into a small dresser until the side of it–the dresser, that is–is covered in blood and the man is unmoving. The audience at the conference really liked this moment and decided to let the world know by starting giving it a round of applause.

Both of these moments immediately made me uncomfortable. I myself felt no need to clap; granted, I was watching from the other side of the United States, first in an office and then second in bed in my pajamas with a kitty cat by my feet. I spent most of the God of War: Ascension live demo reading the comments over at GiantBomb and laughing along, but I did watch the live demo for The Last of Us with genuine interest. I loved when Joel got shot and kind of stumbled back, but brushed it off due to the intense scenario he and that Ellen Page girl were in. I loved how crazy fast everything was happening, and I loved why Joel had to do that horrible thing to that man–to survive, to keep going. I don’t love the moment itself, but the push behind it. That kind of violence really shows the grittiness of the game and that it is in fact The Road and all post-apocalyptic tropes and themes, and that to keep on truckin’ one has to do what one has to do. By no means should these actions be applauded–but they should be understood. The audience members clapping like little kids on Christmas morning clearly did not understand what was happening on that big screen in front of them.

I’ll end with this polar opposite scenario then. In LEGO City Undercover–a debut videogame I now desperately want, but only on the Nintendo 3DS as I’m still not convinced a Wii U is worth acquiring–police detective Chase McCain races down a criminal, tackles him in broad daylight on a populated city street, and the evildoer explodes into LEGO bits and studs. No one clapped.

2012 Game Review Haiku, #15 – Dungeons & Dragons Daggerdale

A halfling mage walks
Into a dungeon, grinds, grows
Kills dragon, the end

EDIT: Greg Noe submitted a haiku review of his own for Daggerdale, and as a lover of alliteration, I have to share with y’all. See it here:

Dwarf diviner ducks
To dungeon, drudges, deepens
Defeats dragon, done

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For all the games I complete in 2012, instead of wasting time writing a review made up of points and thoughts I’ve probably already expressed here in various posts at Grinding Down, I’m instead just going to write a haiku about it. So there.

To comprehend Fez is to comprehend one of life’s greatest mysteries

As you might’ve seen recently, I beat Fez. Just to clarify one thing–I did not beat Fez recently, only posted recently that I beat it. Clarity on that is important, as I’ve had plenty of time now to ponder and muse over the indie darling that demands scrutiny and dissecting tools to really get under its skin. Supposedly, that’s where things get interesting. Unfortunately, I wouldn’t really know.

Before I start, a note: since I’m not sure what is what in Fez‘s world of cubes and shapes and shapely cubes and how you interpret things, any of the below could be considered spoilerish. Read at your own risk.

So, I reached Fez‘s “kill screen” by using 25 cubes and 7 anti-cubes to open the final door. Thankfully, I was able to get enough regular cubes by finding my way into the sewers, which a high number of people seem to miss on their first run, and therein the connecting levels to them; otherwise, I would’ve really had to put my thinking cap on to obtain most of those anti-cubes in order to proceed. I had treasure maps and a sliver of an idea for a few of them–but my attempts ended all the same: spinning that room, checking that map, trying a few random button sequences, and moving along after too many uneventful minutes.

Anyways, here are the notes I took while playing Fez:

I think I got close on a few things, but, more or less, it all looks Greek to me. I did my best to avoid looking answers up online while I was playing Fez, but in the hazy days afterwards I did stumble across some clearer clues, and to be honest, despite being an editor for nearly eight years now and priding myself on knowing English and idioms and the way language works–well, I’d never have figured this out. I’m just not familiar enough with that phrase.

I skipped the bell. I skipped the clock. I skipped the pyramid sitting in water, which clearly had some kind of hidden door below it. I skipped that treasure chest just beneath the ground, the one where you could only see its silhouette. I skipped that room with all the doors. I skipped all those weird pillars that your floating glowthing guide would point out in wonderment. I skipped that weird door that only revealed itself when the sun set. I skipped a lot of parts that seemed important, but were undecipherable, and I’m okay with that. Fez really is two games in one, and I appreciate that there’s a crazy complicated child in it, but prefer the straightforward runthrough over it. The platforming is adequate and quite simple, but the experience of entering a door, finding a new level, and learning how to climb up it via spinning was quite relaxing…and rewarding. Mostly because when you collected a whole cube, glorious beams of light and sunshine shot out of little Gomez.

After the “kill screen” craziness is over, you can start a New Game+ to go and find those bereaved cubes and anti-cubes. I jumped in out of curiosity and played around with one of the new abilities you earn for finishing the game once. It’s neat, but I’m not sure how it’s really going to help unlock more cubes. And that said, I just don’t think I’m going to go after ’em. Fez was a great experience to play part in, learning and not learning and trudging through it stupidly, but now that I know a few things–not everything, mind you–it just seems less fantastical. I wish I could’ve figured it all out on my own, but I’m not terribly distraught that I didn’t.

2012 Game Review Haiku, #14 – Fez

As the Fez world turns
So do symbols, clues, cubes, keys
Too dumb to grok it

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For all the games I complete in 2012, instead of wasting time writing a review made up of points and thoughts I’ve probably already expressed here in various posts at Grinding Down, I’m instead just going to write a haiku about it. So there.

An update from beyond the Wall

I am still here, you just can’t see me. Walls, they work wonders.

My absence on Grinding Down as of late has been both a choice and a consequence. My day job–which, if you’ve paid attention, is something I rarely discuss here on my videogaming blog–has turned the level of busy up to eleven, and I am trying my best to not go insane from it. The days are long and stuffed, and there is only so much quiet time, during which I’ve chosen to not spend writing silly words about the silly games I’ve been playing, such as Minecraft and Metroid Fusion and Rage and so on. Also, I have a secret art project in the works–and it’s a doozy. A lot of work on my part, but I think it’s going to pay off and just be fun through and through. “Like” my page on Facebook to find out more, as I’ll be revealing it very, very soon.

But I’m making an effort. See, this is efforting. I’m putting down my numerous thoughts to e-paper and publishing it for all of you to skim past. You’re welcome.

Yesterday, after work ended, I popped over to the local GameStop to see if they had that game that everyone was clamoring for on May 15, 2012. No, not Diablo III. No, not Max Payne 3. No, not even Akai Katana Shin. I’m talking about…Game of Thrones. Yeah, that’s right. It came out in all its quietness. The store had copies, just not on the shelves; they were behind the counter, which I found odd as I went to the shelves first and was surprised to not see them right underneath the NEW RELEASES sign.

Anyways, as it turned out, like nobody pre-ordered a copy–myself included–and so the store had a bunch of extra art books from Atlus to give away. That’s both awesome and sad, but whatever–I got my book, which is neat, if filled with some inaccuracies, like a picture of Jeor Mormont with the name Jorah beneath it. At least it’ll help me come up with some better clothing ideas for my drawings at All of Westeros.

The game itself…well, I will reserve a lot of judgment until I’m much farther in, but so far it’s been highs and lows. Game of Thrones is sick with a terrible case of tiny text syndrome, as well as a knack for using white font on light-colored backgrounds, making said font unreadable. The combat is surprisingly bland, like watching broken robots hacking and slashing until their commands run dry despite the promising look it presents. I do like a lot of the story bits, especially the Night’s Watch stuff, and the lore and tone seems to be right. I just wish I could read a lot more of the menus, but whatever. My fault for not having an expensive HDTV, right?

Some Achievements then after an hour or two of play:

Winter is coming (10G): Finish chapter 1

Family is hope… (10G): Finish chapter 2

Merciless (20G): Mete out 5 deathblows

The majority of Achievements are labeled as “secret” and hidden away behind locked text. I kind of appreciate that as it definitely helps to not spoil story beats. As someone who always peruses the lists of unlockables before playing, it’s nice to not know everything or even the hint of something to come.

All right. Time to go back behind stone and brick. Maybe I’ll resurface soon again. If not, knock the secret knock, and we’ll work something out.

Achievements of the Week – The Professional Third and 30 Kill Screen Edition

I missed out on doing Achievements of the Week last week as I was away on business. Actually, I was in New York City to sell comics with my wife and friends at MoCCA Festival 2012, which is technically a business venture of our own, one intermingled with pleasure as comics sure are dang fun. It just always sounds so much more professional to say “on business” versus “selling comic books,” and I strive to come across professional, day in, day out. Hmm…okay, that’s not true. I just wanted some harmony to exist between these words I type and an Achievement I unlocked in Trials Evolution, which you’ll see in a sec. The things I do for syncrisis…

So, this is another grab at playing catch up. Four games get covered, with two of them limelighting the Achievements you get for completing the games. Mmm. I really do like completing games. It’s a good goal to currently have as I have a huge backlog of stuff unfinished or even untouched and not a lot of exciting titles coming out in the near future. Yeah, I’m not counting Game of Thrones: The Game as exciting. But that sense of satisfaction and seeing something all the way through is rewarding on its own.

Right, let’s go.

From Fez…

Warp zone (15G): Like folding a sheet of paper.

Kill screen (25G): Visited the Visitors.

Yeah, I beat the game. I saw its ending. I sat there confused and smiled at a certain part. I started New Game+. I still don’t really understand everything though I do think about cubes and shapes and what they ultimately mean in life a lot more these days.

From Trials Evolution…

The Professional (30G): Successfully complete the single player career.

Extreme Prejudice (20G): Complete any Extreme track.

Don’t ask me how I got this. Honestly, I don’t remember. I must have completed one of the extreme tracks in a wild fever, eyes unblinking, hands moving with speed and skill, the track falling apart as I vroom vroomed forward, a monster making its way to victory.

From The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim…

Hero of Skyrim (30G): Capture Solitude or Windhelm

The realm is nearly all mine. Also, I talked about the Achievement for obtaining 100,000 gold over here.

From Saints Row: The Third…

Third and 30 (40G): Played SR3 for 30+ hours, why stop now!?

Got this during my lunchbreak today. More specifically, I got this after I left the game on in the background and went and did the dishes and drank some iced tea. Talk about skills.

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So, how have the last two weeks been for you and your ol’ Xbox 360? Tell me about an Achievement you’ve gotten recently. If not, I might not get out bed tomorrow from lack of love–and yeah, that’d be your fault. So, please, be kind. Share with the world your victories. I’ve already done my part.