Boob controllage in Ninja Gaiden Sigma 2

Um, evidently via the SIXAXIS controller, one can manipulate breasts in the forthcoming Ninja Gaiden Sigma 2. I kid thee not:

While the commercial itself is amusing, the fact that this is a gameplay feature being highlighted is not. What is the purpose? To appease perverts? Or is there actually going to be a level designed around making one boob bounce higher than the other in a sneak attack to knock out a guard and steal his key to the castle? Somehow, I doubt it.

Puzzling Master to the Extreme

Puzzling Master (20G): Completed all challenges

Last night I ran through all the puzzle challenges in Magic: The Gathering — Duels of the Planeswalkers, which were fairly basic, easy-to-solve brainteasers in the mindset of the ones previously published in The Duelist. While I liked the majority of them, I felt they were a bit too obvious and wished for, well, for lack of a better word, something more challenging. It didn’t take many tries to reach an answer, especially since there were multiple ways to outdo an enemy. I only used a guide after the fact to see how others handled certain situations.

Don’t mind me though, this is just some moaning and groaning because while Magic: The Gathering — Duels of the Planeswalkers is a fun waste of time, it isn’t the Magic: The Gathering I went through high school playing with friends in the cafeteria. Little deck customizing, odd timing issues when it comes to responding with an activated ability or spell, and bad, bad 80s rock muzac.

Also, I hate online-only achievements (<– silver account).

Scribblenauts comes out today!

Yay!

::types in confetti and streamers and ice cream cake and go-go dancers::

But I’m not allowing myself to purchase Scribblenauts until Thursday evening so I can get some comics work done this week and not feel guilty about the whole thing!

::types in sad face and spoiled milk and stereotypical drill sergeants yelling about my pansy pants and keyboard cat::

Weekend gaming, mostly in Super Mario Bros 3’s Water World

The Girlfriend visited for the weekend, and inevitably we dusted off the SNES to play some old-school games like Super Mario Kart, Super Mario World, and Super Mario All-Stars. See a theme? Hint: fat plumbers.

Anyways, after desperately jumping and swimming our way through Super Mario Bros 3‘s Water World, a world we hate with a passion, we realized we missed the chance to skip all that bullshit, and thanks to the Internet, we even found out about another opportunity to get a secret warp whistle back in World 2. This one involved using a hammer to break a rock and then travel through a tree. Amazing. So we restarted, did our thing, and hopped to World 5, where we climbed into the clouds and then called it quits after too much dying.

For a game released in 1988, Super Mario Bros 3 still manages to surprise me now and again.

Also, the Tanooki Suit is overrated. Someone had to say it eventually, and that someone is me.

September 2009 game releases that interest me

Well, here we are, in September, with cloudy skies and cool breezes and the unrefutable knowledge that autumn is closing in. Truthfully, this is one of my favorite seasons for gaming…though I can’t specifically say why. It just feels right to bunker down inside on a crispy afternoon and punch buttons until your fingers hurt.

Anyways, lots of games coming out this month, and though I don’t have the money to get them all (or even maybe more than one), I’d like to mention the ones sitting quietly on the edge of my interest.

XBOX 360

Mini Ninjas – released on 09/01/09

I had a pretty good time with the demo, but I still don’t think this kid-friendly ninja romp is worth a full retail price of $60/$50.

The Beatles: Rock Band – released yesterday on 09/09/09

I still don’t think I’d enjoy any of these plastic instrument games (been playing real instruments since I was 15), but if there’s one to change my mind…well, it’d be the one with “Octopus’ Garden” in it. Heard only good things so far, too, which is always a plus. Granted, I don’t have anyone to play with so it’d be a waste. Still, I’m curious…

NINTENDO DS

Scribblenauts – being released on 09/15/09

Oh man, oh man, oh man. Everything about this game screams FUN. The art style is quirky, the game is meant to be played differently by everyone, and there’s just something about knowing you can totally summon Santa Claus to duke it out with an Elder God that is initially pleasing. This will most likely be my big purchase of the month, but it’ll be worth it, I’m sure.

Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days – being released on 09/29/09

I know nothing about how this fits into the whole storyline of things, but you can never go wrong with this Disney/Final Fantasy-like mashup.

…

And that’s pretty much all I’m interested in this month. Sure, there’s some big releases like Batman: Arkham Asylum and WET and Halo 3: ODST, but those don’t really speak my language. Oh wells.

Also, on the radar for October is Fallout 3: Game of the Year edition. Eee. I’m not even allowed to think about that game any more until I get some comics work done. Eeeeee.

Happy Birthday, Dreamcast!

The Sega Dreamcast, the last console from the company, is celebrating its tenth anniversary today on 9/9/09 for its release on September 9, 1999. Everyone is posting about the news of a new Dreamcast game release, as well as their favorite memories.

Me? I don’t have one, mostly because I never played a Dreamcast before. Is it as magical as everyone is describing? Did I miss out? Somehow, I’m wearing my doubts on my sleeves.

Either way, someone pass me a slice of the birthday cake.

IMPRESSIONS: WET demo

WET is, from what I can tell, an homage to a number of things: Quentin Tarantino flicks, Max Payne/Matrix bullet time, and the 70s. Highly stylized, the demo covers three aspects of gameplay, and has us in control of Rubi, a gun-toting, sword-slashing assassion on a mission that is not really explained. Also, she drinks Jack D for health boosts.

All right, the first section seems to be a run-of-the-mill action scenario. You’re in a room with bad dudes, and you must eviscerate them all to continue on. The difference? Shooting them sufficiently is only gained by entering “slow-mo,” which happens when you slide, jump, or run against walls, allowing for better precision and multiple targeting. It takes a bit getting used to the fact that you can never just jump normally, that every jump is like pushing off from the bottom a swimming pool, but eventually all Generic Bad Guys crumple to the ground and you’re ready to move on to the next part of the demo.

Rage mode is next. Or maybe it is better dubbed Red mode. That’s what you’ll see most of: red, with some white splashes of blood. Neat look, but it’s just a hectic run from one end to the other, slashing with your sword (don’t bother trying to shoot anyone at this part as it is just unfeasible). The music, however, totally rocked, and for that Red Rage mode was worth it.

Lastly, the car-hopping stage. Quick Time Events are never my favorite thing because I generally have to fail five or six times before I can figure out what is needed. Do I hit the X button once or continue to mash it in? Rubi is riding along car tops, shooting bad guys and avoiding exploding trucks. Visually, it’s amazing. Gameplay-wise, it leaves very little in your control. I’d have liked it more to be the one doing the jumping from car to car rather than pushing a button, but one can’t get everything.

That said, WET isn’t really my sort of game. Too much mindless action, not enough open-ness. And if it’s all just run-and-stab, well, that is something that quickly becomes boring, even if there’s a rockin’ soundtrack to back it up. Oh wells.

In Metroidvania, no one can hear you scream

Just acquired this achievement last night in Shadow Complex:

Make ‘Em Scream (20G): Get 100 soldiers to scream

What’s nice about this achievement is two things: 1) it was not one that I had to consciously be aware of achieving, in that I just shot soldiers and tossed grenades their way, and sometimes they’d scream when being blown to bits and other times they’d just crumple to floor and 2) Shadow Complex does a wonderful job of providing in-game tracking towards its achievements so I knew I was getting close to this one, making each further scream all the more rewarding.

My first glitch in Shadow Complex

There I was, crouching along in some dark and stuffy vent, flashlight at the ready in case there were any bombas or orange-colored walls to shoot, when all of a sudden I dropped through the floor to a secret room below and found myself frozen in mid-air, face only centimeters away from a locked door. I tried moving around, but could do very little other than shut off/turn on my flashlight and hit the menu buttons. Frustration quickly set in.

So I had to reload from a previous save, losing about 15 minutes worth of game. Luckily, not much had happened during those 15 minutes save for finding a gold bar location and getting a couple of soldiers to scream (my, how I love to make ’em scream) so it wasn’t terribly frustrating. But now I’m much more wary of this sort of thing and save frequently.

When I fell down the shaft a second time, I kept to the left (away from the door) and landed perfectly on the floor. So yeah, just a minor glitch. No big deal. Still loving the stuffings out of Shadow Complex, and I’m probably only halfway through the main game.

Two new Xbox Live Arcade games downloaded

Needed a little pick-me-up last Friday evening, so I purchased some Microsoft Space Bucks and downloaded Shadow Complex:

…and Magic the Gathering: Duels of the Planeswalkers:

I’ve had only a limited amount of play-time with both games, but so far they’re not terrible. In fact, Shadow Complex is quite impressive for an Xbox Live Arcade title, doing many a things great. Magic the Gathering: Duels of the Planeswalkers is not the MTG I’m used to playing, but now that I lack a group of friends to play with it does a decent job of filling said void. More later as I continue to work through ’em…