All Achievements Achieved – Sonic’s Ultimate Genesis Collection

This game was a weird mix of Achievements. Some were blatant freebies, and others were so frustrating that I had to constantly take breathing breaks and power down the Xbox 360 for extended periods of time. The hardest and most excruciating had to be this doozy from Dr. Robotnik’s Mean Bean Machine:

Yatta! (50G): Dr. Robotnik’s M.B.M.: Complete the game

If I ever meet anyone else in person that has this Achievement unlocked, I will shake their hand, pamper their feet, and maybe then feed them some grapes directly from Tuscany. Because my respect, they will have truly earned.

First of all, before Sonic’s Ultimate Genesis Collection came along, I had no idea this game even existed. Loading it up, I expected it to be a traditional Sonic the Hedgehog game; you know, taking the Blue Wonder and having him run around, collect rings, and possibly, at the end, destroy some mean machine built by the nefarious Dr. Robotnik. I was surprised to find that it was…a puzzle game. Like an odd blend of Tetris, Dr. Mario, and sadomasochism. Eep. It’s not an easy puzzle game, and one can really screw themselves over quickly if they aren’t paying attention. Basically, you want to match four color blobs together, and if you match several in a row, you’ll create a cascading effect that will send blocking boulders onto your opponent’s side. Keep it up, and they’ll run out of space to place blobs, giving you one mean victory. 

That’s the gameplay, and it is simple at first, but with each consequent level, the blobs fall faster and your opponents get tougher. Or cheaper. Magically amazing at placing blobs and cascading your side to be more specific. Thankfully, there’s a password system available, and if you enter Yellow, Has Bean (that’s the one in the Achievement’s picture), Blue, Blue you’ll advance to the last level. All you have to do then is defeat Dr. Robotnik to complete the game. However, it’s virtually impossible, and you’ll be banking on luck and reloading saves more than skill or intellect.

Took me about thirty minutes or so of trying, dying, and trying again. I came close a few times only to have myself cascaded on, never to recover. Eventually, Dr. Robotnik’s AI screwed himself, and before long I heard that familiar Achievement ping! Wow. Did I really just beat him? Even double-checking didn’t help solidify that, yes, I unlocked Yatta! Sure, I used a cheat. Sure, I beat him unknowingly. Sure, I wish I could take more credit on earning this skillfully.

But yeah. That’s Sonic’s Ultimate Genesis Collection, said and done. I was going to talk about some of its other Achievements, but Yatta! has, once again, stolen all my energy.

The road goes ever on, but only if you have a GameCube memory card

Chip the glasses and crack the plates!
Blunt the knives and bend the forks!
That’s what Bilbo Baggins hates –
Smash the bottles and burn the corks!

Bilbo Baggins also most definitely hates the entire population of Hobbiton. As he should. They’re nothing but a bunch of silly fetch quest givers, and shame on them for that. I mean, don’t they have better things to worry about? Like fourth breakfast or picking lice out of their hairy feet? Hogwash, I say. But I’m getting ahead of myself, even though, truthfully, I don’t get very far. You’ll see what that means in just a moment.

Tara and I were able to borrow an old GameCube controller from her brother so that we could test out the waters on Animal Crossing, LEGO Star Wars II, and The Hobbit. I literally looked everywhere on the Nintendo Wii to figure out where to plug this blasted thing in; the slots were hidden under a flap, next to another hidden flap; then, after starting the Wii up, I sat there pressing A on the GameCube controller like some kind of human reject, not realizing that we still needed to use a Wii controller to get to the main menu screen. Yup, smells like dragon dung already. Two very awkward controllers sat on my lap. Why can the Wii use a controller to play an earlier console’s games, but not allow it to function as a menu selecting tool? Is the science really that hard? Ugh.

Anyways, The Hobbit. It’s the prelude to The Lord of the Rings, and I know it in and out, up and down, left and right, troll and orc, wolve and eagle, and so on. I’m mostly playing it to see how they handle the story, which is its most important aspect. The 2003 title hits the high and low end in the graphics department. In-game cutscenes and graphics are horrific and bland, with Bilbo’s mouth moving as if his jaw is ready to fall off any minute. Yet, there’s these storytelling sequences that use hand-drawn art and are voiced over by a decent Gandalf, which are surprisingly potent. I almost want to just watch them all in chronological order and call it the movie we’ve all been waiting for. Sorry, Rankin/Bass.

Alas, I did not play much of The Hobbit. I could not. Only got through Bilbo’s dream sequence and then wandered around Hobbiton for a bit, accepting stupid quests from stupid hobbity neighbors. Seriously, Hobbiton natives. Bilbo is not your bitch. That should be on a t-shirt. What was holding me back, you ask? It’s not like the difficulty is cranked up higher than Ciroth Ungol on a day when every orc has off. Memory, dear readers. Memory held me back. To be more specific, not having a GameCube memory card. Again, the Nintendo Wii fails to impress me as a piece of future tech in that it also can’t save data from GameCube games to its own, built-in harddrive. The dragon dung pile gets smellier.

Saving one’s progress is very important to me. Even if it’s only 30 minutes worth, or 15 minutes worth, or even five minutes worth. I want that experience locked in so I don’t have to repeat myself. And so I knew that I needed to stop sooner than later in The Hobbit, not wanting to get too far, to lose too much.

I visited the local GameStop during my lunchbreak to see if they sold any GameCube memory cards. Nothing was visible out on the floor, and they only had one guy working behind the counter. He was pretty busy with a line of middle-aged women, one asking about something called Dead Spaced Tools. Seriously, that’s what she asked for. Dead Space 2 much? So I’ll try again tomorrow. Once I do get hold of this legendary GameCube memory card, it’s go time for Bilbo and his gaggle of dwarves. Also, I can’t help but feel like this would make for an interesting review over at The First Hour. Do I even need to call dibs?

Hide in hay, sit on bench, get stabbed in the back

…rinse and repeat!

That’s how my three sessions with Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood’s multiplayer went last night, with me striking down the occasional foe and running across rooftops to freedom (and points for escaping!). I guess I did somewhat decent as I managed to progress from a weak level 1 Templar to a…still weak level 2 Templar. Only now I unlocked an ability called “disguise,” which I haven’t gotten to try out just yet. I’m assuming I get to change outfits at whim or something to that effect. Could help me on my latest quest: To Not Get Stabbed in the Back Anymore.

All the complaints about Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood‘s matchmaking prowess ring true. It takes a long time to get enough players to join up, and even when it does look like you’ve got 8/8 ready to play, you still have to wait. However, once you’re in a match, it’s pretty clear it’s worth it. This sort of multiplayer experience doesn’t come along a lot, and I absolutely love the idea of hiding in plain sight. Pretending to be part of a crowd, chatting with a merchant, taking a break on a bench–these are actual strategies to surviving. Running up a ladder is a sure-fire way to get noticed, get killed. I’m still not good at figuring out who my targets are, and the assassinate button likes to, uh, sometimes not work. Or maybe I’m not supposed to stab other Templars when they are stabbing their targets. Don’t really know. But yeah, it’s a fun time once you get a good group of people that like to click “rematch” right away.

Sadly, I’ll probably never get any of the multiplayer Achievements. Or, if I do, it’ll be just one. Like killing a target while hiding in a pile of hay. That’s probably the easiest of the bunch. The rest? Very specific, very skill-heavy. Oh well. Sometimes it’s not always about Achievements. Guess I will just do my best to unlock everything in the single player mode, which, by the way, is going good. I am, however, feeling extremely overwhelmed; the map is getting more and more littered with icons and things to see, and Etzio (i.e., me) just kind of wants to run around, climb buildings, and fill his secret hideout with awesome, authentic paintings. Mmm artwork…

Our latest and greatest videogame purchases

Tara and I went shopping over the weekend. I bought jeans and two flannel-infused shirts that go well with–wait, what? You don’t care about the good deals I got on clothes from Kohl’s? Hmph. I see how it is. Bunch of anti-fashionistas. I guess you’d prefer me to talk about all the many videogames purchased this weekend. I guess your wish is about to get…granted!

Warning: this list of games bought is going to blow your mind. Can’t say from what. Surely not the total awesomesauce. Maybe more from the randomness, the WTFs. Steel yourself!

Paul’s Purchases

It was selling for a cool $39.99, and the Internet will not shut up about how good it is. Haven’t touched the multiplayer except for the tutorial level. Oh, I tried. Waited for 15 minutes to have it log me into a new session…and then summarily kick me out. Boo-hoo. Single-player is a much improved performance over the original Assassin’s Creed. Never got to play Assassin’s Creed II. Anyways, if anyone wants to help me give online multiplayer a try, my Xbox Live Gamertag is PaulyAulyWog. Please?

It was dirt cheap. I’ve played maybe an hour of it and also tried Firefight by myself. I’m a smidge above a vacuum. Meh.

Oh man. Where do I begin? Actually, let’s just keep this short. Now that we have our Nintendo Wii set up in the Leaky Cauldron, I’d like to catch up on some GameCube games I never got to play. Such as Pikman and Windwaker and Luigi’s Mansion. All in good time though. And I believe I’ve also previously mentioned my obsession with all things Lord of the Rings. Now, here’s the real tough question; did this version of The Hobbit cost me $1.99, $2.99, $3.99, or $4.99?

It cost less than The Hobbit, and its cover made me laugh.

Tara’s Purchases

This is now our third version of this game owned. Tara’s more interested in it than the Wii version because the controls are simpler. Plus, I heard that you can actually play old Nintendo games within this game–wicked! She liked the sound of that, too. It’ll be curious to experience this version last, seeing as I started out on Animal Crossing: Wild World and then moved on to Animal Crossing: City Folk. Granted, they are, more or less, the same game, but the minute differences are actually where it counts the most.

Mmm…LEGO games.

And those were our big purchases. The funny/annoying thing is that I assumed one could use the Wiimote to play GameCube games on the Nintendo Wii. Y’know, turn it sideways like a traditional controller. Nope. Because the GameCube controller was freakish and had so many random buttons. So we haven’t got to try any of our GameCube buys just yet. We also need an old memory card. The only good thing the Wii does is…uh, let you put the CD into its slot. Geez, it might have been easier just to buy an old GameCube system, but truthfully, we’ve run out of outlets and the back of our entertainment stand looks like the Great Cthulhu, but with wires instead of tentacles. Truly nightmarish.

Pretty sure Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood, Fallout: New Vegas, and some other games will be able to keep my attention busy until February, and then it’ll be time to travel through alternate dimensions in Radiant Historia.

All Achievements Achieved – Dead Rising 2: Case Zero

For some reason, I expected the Achievements to be much harder for Dead Rising 2: Case Zero. Especially the one for killing 1,000 zombies, but I quickly realized that it only sounded more difficult than it truly was. I just spent a good 15 minutes running them over and over and over again with the pushcart thingy when I had to carry back the first bike part. Yup, even a zombie game has its percent of grinding to do…

The toughest of the bunch focused on fetch quests:

Still Creek Survivor (20G): Saved all the survivors in Still Creek. So much work in such a short stay!

This one required dedication and attention. Given the strict time limit in Dead Rising 2: Case Zero, you basically have to forgo finding all the bike parts in favor of saving everyone else stranded in Still Creek. That’s fine. I never really liked Chuck’s daughter, and seeing her taken away by the military for a second time bothered me not a bit. Now, actually saving the survivors is not a walk in the park. In fact, it’s more like a walk in a zombie-infested park. And they’re all drunk off moonshine. Okay, okay–maybe only one is actually drunk, but the rest sure do act like a bunch of inebriated clowns. Basically, you go find where these survivors are and then get them to follow you back. Sounds simple. It’s not. They like to run directly into groups of zombies instead of following the path you’ve cleared for them with your spiked bat and electric rake. The worst survivor is a sick woman you have to carry all the way back to your hideout; I flashbacked hard to Musashi: Samurai Legend and felt everything inside of me twist upside-down from repressed torture and anguish.

Seven Achievements are guaranteed to unlock during your first playthrough. The rest require another playthrough or two, but don’t take long at all to get. Small Town, Deep Pockets was the last to unlock for me after buying way too many stuffed moose heads from Dick’s pawnshop. A surprisingly easy 200 Gamerscore overall.

Games Completed in 2011, #3 – Sonic’s Ultimate Genesis Collection

This collection of just under 50 Sega Genesis games could’ve used a better title. As is, Sonic’s Ultimate Genesis Collection is misleading. I mean…is this a gathering of only Sonic games? Or are these games handpicked by the speedy, blue hedgehog himself? And if that, where is Toe Jam and Earl or Mortal Kombat or Boogerman: A Pick and Flick Adventure? Okay, maybe I don’t really give two cares about that last one…

Regardless, this is a good deal. You get a lot of games for an excellent price ($18 used, I think?) rather than buying a lot of them individually on XBLA for 400 MP a pop. Eek. However, for a lot of these games, no one should waste their money. Going in, I’d heard of a good number, played a few in my childhood over at friends’ houses, and experienced the rest as brand new things in 2010/2011. A lot are just meh. Can’t say it any straighter. Bonanza Bros. is ridiculous and a mess strategically. Sonic 3D Blast should come packaged with Advil. Controlling the helicopter in Super Thunder Blade is broken. I jumped to my death quickly in Space Harrier and never went back to it.

I only had a good time revisiting more familiar titles, such as Streets of Rage, Golden Axe, Sonic II, Beyond Oasis, and Ecco the Dolphin. Tara and I played some of these together, but as is usual with older games, frustration reigns supreme. We’d get more mad than glad during split-screen Sonic the Hedgehog 2 versus adventures. I was most surprised to find myself really enjoying generic platformers like Dynamite Headdy and Kid Chameleon.

Honest disclaimer: I have not beaten every single game in this collection. Not even close on most of them, nor do I really want to. So, the reason I’m considering this one completed for 2011 is based off its Achievements. I’ve unlocked them all. Woo-hoo? Woo. They’re split down the middle between super easy and soul-crushingly difficult. I’ll discuss them greater in another post, devoting way too many words to the Achievement for Dr. Robotnik’s Mean Bean Machine. How I will forever hate that one.

If you’re looking to do some retro gaming and have everything you wanted from the SNES generation on your Wii or Nintendo DS, then this one’s worth a spin.

Stop worrying and love the Giant Bomb

I understand the point for most people creating a blog is to attract readers to their blog, to keep these readers, build an army, gain fame and love and lots of cash-money, to maybe, just maybe get videogame companies to send over free review copies (HINT! HINT!), and then retire early, and that linking to a much cooler videogame website counteracts all of this. But still. I gotta do it.

The website is called Giant Bomb, and I only really discovered it a few weeks ago. Truthfully, I’ve been aware of it for some time now, seeing many on Twitter linking to it. It’s from former GameSpot editors Jeff Gerstmann and Ryan Davis in collaboration with Whiskey Media. Actually, calling it a videogame website is a bit misleading; it’s a videogame hub, operating as a wiki first and a traditional website second. It strives to be fun rather than all about business, and they’ve succeeded hands-down. Perusing Giant Bomb is fun. Minigame-like fun, with an addicting nature covering everything you click on. Videogames have Achievements, and Giant Bomb has Quests. These are presented with vague clues, and then you’re off to search for, say, the five locations most “improved” by the Fallout franchise. A lot of these Quests really test your videogame knowledge, and sure, a lot of answers can be Googled, but most can’t. Thankfully, the Quests forum is brimming with more hints and clues, and no simple spoilers, making each completed Quest feeling like a piece of hard work well earned.

But yeah. There’s lots to do. One’s profile can have its own blog, lists, forums, images, and so on. Even the site’s wiki entries can be edited by users to further better the world. In fact, I did one edit already, changing “buddys” to “buddies.” Yes, I’m an editor, and yes, it shows in everything I do. However, the Quests are what keeps me coming back!

If you’re reading this and also a Giant Bomb member, please help me inch closer to completing the Viva la Revolucion! Quest by following me: http://www.giantbomb.com/profile/pabba/

Games Completed in 2011, #2 – Fallout: New Vegas

Developer: Obsidian Entertainment
Publisher: Bethesda Softworks
Platforms: Xbox 360 [reviewed], PlayStation 3, PC
Genres: RPG, FPS, Western
Modes: Single-player
Hours clocked: Last save slot says around 55 hours

::exhales::

Well…it’s done. The final battle for the Hoover Dam is over, and the Courier, my Courier, made his choices, and then just before the credits rolled a series of end-game screens showed how great or not-so-greatly the Mojave Wasteland was affected by my presence. That idea worked, but its execution fell short; I was really hoping for something bigger, something better in the end. I guess the same could be said of Fallout: New Vegas, which might go down in history as one of the most frustrating games ever.

Set many years after the events in Fallout 3, Fallout: New Vegas opens with a bang. Or a pew. Or however you like your gunshots to sound like. You play as the Courier, a man or woman that ends up getting shot in the head by a mysterious man in a tacky suit because he wanted something you were carrying very badly. Lucky for you, a robot drags you out of your new grave and brings you to the local doctor in Goodsprings where the game truly begins. And that’s the carrot on the stick–revenge. On your journey to find out who shot you and why, you’ll eventually stumble upon a number of factions all striving for control of the Hoover Dam, which is the mega power source keeping New Vegas functioning. That’s all well and good, but the heart of Fallout: New Vegas pumps from its love of sidequests and companions and a thousand other things to do than actually play through the main storyline. I mean, at least in Fallout 3, chasing after someone meant something unequivocably personal–it was freaking Liam Neeson your father!

I actually found myself rather indifferent to tracking down my killer. Sure, he shot me, he stole from me, he left me dirt-deep, but I knew very little of the situation to begin with to even care. Granted, if I had continued after Tacky Suit Man from the get-go then a lot more would’ve been clearer, but for me, waking up alive in Goodsprings was more than enough. I ventured out into the unknown, explored, leveled up, collected stuff, made some friends, made some enemies, and was somewhere around level 17 or so before heading towards the bright lights of the City of Sin.

I never used a companion in Fallout 3, but they’ve been greatly improved for Fallout: New Vegas. A control wheel helps keep them active, healed, and armed. Plus, each companion has a strong personality, as well as their own quest. My two favorites, when they worked, were Boone and ED-E. There’s also a slew of new weapons, outfits, and food items to search for, making it harder to carry everything around. Wish there were more “home” options though as traveling back and forth to the Lucky 38 was a hassle. Perks are only gained every two levels now, which adds actually a lot to the game, forcing you to really think about what ones you pick.

Where there’s Vegas, there’s gambling. Players can enjoy some blackjack, slots, and roulette, as well as Caravan. However, I found I didn’t need a lot of help making caps in the Mojave Wasteland so I never got into this aspect. Or the Survival skill. Or even test the waters with Hardcore mode. Too much to do! That’s the desert motto.

Alas, as we all know, Fallout: New Vegas is not a good game in terms of being a videogame. It is bloated with bugs, glitches, freezes, and wonky design choices. It uses the same engine as Fallout 3, and it shows. Dialogue action screens are still locked in limbo, companions get lost and stuck with the greatest of ease, and for some reason, when wielding a rifle, my character likes to randomly lift his arms. For the final battle, I found myself frantically saving as the game would freeze when going into V.A.T.S. four times out of ten, probably because there was a lot going on what with Centurions getting shot up and ED-E fritzing out. Grrr…

Yet…I loved the time I spent in Fallout: New Vegas. And I can’t wait to do it again, this time as an evil redhead with a deep love of animals and melee weapons. Please suggest names for her in the meantime.

ATHORE COMMENTS AL TOTOL LIES

Okay. So, there’s this Flash-based RPG called Super PSTW Action RPG (which I’ve never played and most likely never will), and someone under the username of AXMAN13 did not have a good time being super in an action RPG. Snartleblast, right? Naturally, this reviewer left his thoughts behind for all to read, but Newgrounds users RicePirate and D-Mac-Double decided that these snippets of poetry and fine 18th century literature were better suited as a typography video. In short, a Flash video of a review of a Flash game. It’s pretty superb with some amazing voice work and sound effects, and I’d love to see all negative reviews, whether justified or not, whether written by 13-year-olds or actual gaming journalists, brought to life like so.

Go watch: http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/558516

Games Completed in 2011, #1 – Dead Rising 2: Case Zero

Developers: Capcom, Blue Castle Games
Publisher: Capcom
Platform: Xbox 360 exclusive
Genres: Action adventure, zombie slaying, survival horror
Modes: Single-player
Hours clocked: Roughly four to five

A five dollar videogame doesn’t sound like a good thing. I mean, I’m imagining getting something like this or this or even this for such a low price. I did not, in all honesty, expect to get something good, something fun–a game I’d replay three times without blinking an eye. And that’s Dead Rising 2: Case Zero for you, a bite-size Dead Rising 2 experience that does a great job of fleshing (puns intended!) out the gameplay mechanics of its bigger brother, as well as supplying its own unique story, location, and set of characters.

The hero of Dead Rising 2: Case Zero is Chuck Greene, a former motocross champion, and every hero has its loser counterpart, and we’ll call her Katey. That’s his daughter, and she’s sick from a motherly zombie bite, forcing him to scrounge for Zombrex to keep her human and alive long enough until he can figure out a more final solution to his daughter’s problems. The game takes place three years before the events of Dead Rising 2 in a town called Still Creek, which is brimming with the undead. Unfortunately, Chuck and Katey get stranded there, and his mission is to fix a broken motorcycle, keep Katey alive, save the town’s citizens, kill some zombies via inhumane weapons, and get out safe and sound with his daughter. This has to all happen within the time limit of one day, or else the military will arrive and take his daughter away to be, and I’m assuming here, beheaded and burned like the little zombie kids all are.

Bad news for Katey as this time limit took me by surprise, and I was unable to do the needful before the military came to steal her away. This earned me Ending D. What’s really nice is that when you “beat” the game, as I clearly did the first time around, you can replay it with all earned money, stats, combo cards, and Chuck’s PP saved. New game+ is always a good thing. Anyways, this helped greatly with my second playthrough, earning me Ending A. I then romped around Still Creek for a third time to mop up some Achievements, and this third playthrough was unique in that I actually got to experience saving the town’s citizens. Also, all PP is transferable for those moving on to Dead Rising 2.

However, most likely, I won’t be moving on to Dead Rising 2. Or the original Dead Rising. Or even Dead Rising 2: Case West. This “paid demo” experience was more than enough for me, and I had a lot of fun whacking zombies with spiked bats/throwing casino poker chips in their faces, but overall the gameplay would most likely get stale for me. I mean, there’s only so many ways to skin a cat  kill a zombie, and between that and the frustrating time limit/save system, I just don’t think a full zombie release is my cup of tea.

But yeah, for five bucks…or 400 Microsoft Points if you like to speak the language of global corporation domination. It’s worth it. So, instead of buying a sandwich from Quick Chek/WaWa/wherever today, I heartedly recommend downloading Dead Rising 2: Case Zero, and that’s saying a lot because I absolutely love sandwichs.