Well met, Landsmeet

After finishing up my latest review for The First Hour last night, I switched on the ol’ Xbox 360 and to my better judgment…did not play Grand Theft Auto IV. C-c-c-combo breaker!

Instead, I loaded up Dragon Age: Origins, which I had previously taken a break from because the game itself seemed to be at a perfect spot for break-taking. That is, moments before the Landsmeet was to gather and discuss what Ferelden should do about the darkspawn threat, who should be king/queen, and whether or not Loghain is guilty of his purported crimes. Reviews said this was a crucial moment in Dragon Age: Origins, with the potential of game-changing results, meaning party members might up and leave (or worse) depending on what actions you, the Grey Warden, take. Not something you walk into lightly.

Spoilers to follow, readers.

So, with some trepidation, I started the Landsmeet. This was set up like a town hall meeting, with all the different delegates standing around, shouting their claims and strategies. Loghain very quickly enters to try to sway support his way, but the Grey Warden proves to be a thorn in his side. Your goal is to get more votes of support than Loghain. Depending on what sidequests you’ve done, different options come up. I first decided to rat out Loghain’s misuse of elves in the Alienage, upsetting the nobles tremendously. But then I mentioned Alistair and how, seeing that he’s Maric’s kid, should be the rightful king. This didn’t work out well. Eventually, support swayed my way, and Loghain rebeled. I fought him myself in a one-on-one duel, allowing Alistair to lop the turncoat’s head off. Alas, this moment was ruined by the fact that the sound effects of a sword swinging, blood gushing, and viewers gasping were off by three to five seconds. Way to go, beta testers.

But then I had to pick who should be Ferelden’s new ruler, and since Alistair would not stop whining about how he didn’t want it–despite getting both Anora and Alistair to agree to wed and rule in unison–I passed the torch along to her alone. It’s not like she’d want to marry her father’s murderer now. This isn’t the Lifetime channel after all.

So, other than Loghain’s demise, which was not a super shock considering his villainy persistance, the Landsmeet did not surprise me like I thought it would. Nothing terribly dramatic or party-shattering happened. I guess I just made the best decisions and did enough vote-swaying sidequests to make it easier to get Loghain tossed aside. Oh well. It’s done now, and the final battle approaches. Too bad I still have some sidequests to do before heading back to Redcliffe…

Also, I simply love the name and artwork for the Achievement unlocked after the Landsmeet is over:

Rabble-Rouser (20G): Completed “The Landsmeet”

BioWare obviously cares about Achievements. And not just having them, but giving them attention and detail. The Mass Effect series has Achievement artwork that looks like medals or badges earned from military service, and the ones for Dragon Age: Origins so far are like ancient relics forged by the Maker himself. Simply astounding. I don’t think there’s any other company out there currently that puts this much effort into e-peen things that ping. Kudos to them!

Earth Day, and games with great grass

When I think of Earth Day, I think of grass. No, not the kind often celebrated in that counterculture holiday from two days ago. But the green stuff that proved such trouble in Honey, I Shrunk the Kids and yet feels simply wonderful to walk through barefoot. Don’t deny it. Grass is great, and not just because it’s green.

Not surprisingly, grass shows up in a bajillion videogames, too. First-person shooters, epic fantasy RPGs, farm sims, you name it. It’s there. Graphically, herbaceous plants have come a long way, and here’s a couple of games  I believe do grass well.

The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass

In The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, Link could use his sword to swipe at bushes and find hidden rupees (as well as really ticked off enemies). It was great fun and always hard to resist doing so, especially since the bushes themselves respawned after entering/exiting a building. Phantom Hourglass, however, made it feel even more rewarding to slice up the earth. Now you could swipe at tall grass, and thanks to the touchscreen controls, it was quick, breezy, and rewarding. Hearts and rupees galore! My favorite tactic was to stand in the middle of a bunch of grass and do the spin attack. Seriously, if Link ever got tired of saving Zelda, he could totally make it as a lawnmower.

Eternal Sonata

Now, I’m not here to argue whether this is a good game or not. It’s most likely not. I’ve mentioned before that I got stuck on a pirate ship and would have to grind for many hours just to be strong enough to beat the current boss and move on. -5 to fun factor. However, both via cutscenes and in-game graphics, Eternal Sonata rocks the grass and meadows and vibrant scenery. It’s just so pretty and colorful, and you totally get the impression that the earth here is healthy and well-cared for.

The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion

You could seriously get lost in this kind of grass. In fact, I most certainly have. Going up a hill, your perspective slanted, all you’ll see is grass, a hundred thousand blades swaying with the wind. Considering the size of the world and its forests, it’s mighty impressive…except when you are trying to find a dead body to loot. Then it’s just maddening.

Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater

After two games of sneaking around inside buildings, Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater threw a wrench at us. Remember, if you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball. In this one, a majority of the game is played outside in the open wild. Here, tall grass and camouflage are your BFFs. Such a change of pace, but so awesome, too. I really loved the tall, thin blades, and popping from them to take a sneak shot on a soldier sure beat stuffing them into a locker any day.

Every Pokemon game ever

Grass is where it’s at in Pokemon. Actually, grass is where Pokemon are at in Pokemon. That’s where they hide, and you’ll spend a lot of time traipsing through it to find the right ones or just get to your next destination. Grass is so important to this series that it is even a type of Pokemon class. Huzzah!

Fallout 3

I’m sure this will be a spoiler to some folks, but there’s a location in Fallout 3 unlike every other location you’ll come across. This one is alive with…life. Plant life, more specifically. I’m talking about Oasis, a small settlement tucked away into some boulders that is not affected by radiation and has actual grass and healthy trees sprouting up from the ground. Your first visit there is a total headturn, and you really begin to see the importance of your quest to purify the water of the Capital Wasteland. Oh sure, on occassion you’ll find a single flower somewhere and be amazed at its stubborness, but here is proof that life goes on through it all.

Everybody’s Golf series

While this series may feature cartoony golfer avatars, the grass is always serious. Seriously good, that is. Look at that divet mark above. As one who divets it up like crazy, I can say that it’s pretty authentic-looking. Actually, most golf games nail grass. They kind of have to. It’s 90% of the screen. The summery discoloring is perfect above, too.

—

Got a favorite grassy game yourself? Tell me about it in the comments below.

GAMES I REGRET PARTING WITH: The Granstream Saga

If anything, many gamers will know of The Granstream Saga for one glaring quirk: all its in-game characters are faceless. They have no faces. Something ate them. Instead, there’s just this round thing of flesh on top of their necks with some colored hair to sort of the young and the old, the male and the female, the smart and the dumb. Still, despite this oddity, the game featured animated cutscenes of the anime kind, a talking bird companion, and great sword-swinging action (for its time). Oh, and it is also purported to be the very first full 3D RPG for the PlayStation. Cool, cool.

The plot is pretty typical “save the world” stuff. Except, this time around, you have to save multiple worlds. See, once upon a time in this alt Earth, the entire planet was covered entirely in water. Then, thanks to magic and aftereffects from the war between the Allied Spirit Army and the Imperial Wizardry, numerous continents lifted up from the water and out into the air to float fine for years and years until you loaded up the game disc. Now they are slowly sinking back down. Way to go, gamer.

This is where Eon comes into play. He’s the hero of The Granstream Saga, a boy not so ready for his coming-of-age tale, but he’ll meet a varied bunch of folks along his travels who will help him save his floating homeland, as well as all the others. After all, faceless friends are always generous. You’ll spend a good portion of the game staring at his bright red hair.

Gameplay is very standard RPG fare, with exploration of towns and dungeons just about equal to each other. While roaming around a cave, you’ll find enemies and duke it out in real time. Eon carries a sword and a shield, and you’ll take Zelda-like swipes at the enemy, engaging it fully. All in all, kind of bland now…but the system worked great in 1998, and things got much better with upgraded equipment and the ability to cast magic. You eventually learned strategies, too, like side-stepping behind an enemy for a stronger attack.

The Granstream Saga was not the first RPG I played on the PlayStation, but it has strangely had a lasting effect on me. Images of faceless villagers—as well as that uncomfortable shower scene—flash in my mind from time to time. And the details about the game’s ending have always been fuzzy, something to do with that bird companion. And yes, I could easily just watch an entire playthrough on YouTube, but that would totally ruin my gaming nostalgia. Instead, I’ll just miss the heck out of my copy and yearn for the return of the faceless.

NOTE: I could not find any great screenshots of these faceless game models so I whipped up some examples below so you can get a feel for things. Enjoy!

—

GAMES I REGRET PARTING WITH is a regular feature here at Grinding Down where I reminisce about videogames I either sold or traded in when I was young and dumb. To read up on other games I parted with, follow the tag.

In-game relationships need to get out

Unless I’m playing The Sims, I don’t really want to do buddy-buddy things like playing darts and going for a walk and having a beer with someone in-game. Especially when we’re talking about Grand Theft Auto IV, where the majority of the focus is on…well, shooting drug dealers in the mouth and running over hot dog stands. Nor do I want to go on dates, but that mostly has to do with Niko Bellic not being the suave gentlemen your dates might think he is. Seriously, how can anyone be charmed by this masochistic, hollow shell of a goon? His response to every demonic task put on him is: how much will I get paid? Right.

I wish there was a way you could lose your cell phone in GTA IV and then have to go to a local Sprint store (I bet those Rockstar devs would be hilarious and call it, I dunno, Splint) to get a new one. After losing it, I would never get another. I don’t even care if that meant no more missions; I just want to walk and drive around in peace, listen to the radio, take in the sights. No, I don’t want to get shit-faced with you, Roman; you’re a horrible human being, possibly less horrible when drunk, but horrible nonetheless, and to have some drinky drinks with you would take up the following:

1. Time
2. Money

Plus, these in-game friends always call at the worst time ever. Like, you’re sneaking around a building, getting ready for a shootout, and then you have Little Jacob mumbling something about hanging out in your ear. Sorry, can’t. Why didn’t you call me during the 15 minutes it took me to get to this location? Chump.

Another example of bad cell phone usage in videogames: Pokemon HeartGold. During your course across the many regions, you will meet a bunch of trainers and strangers all eager to give you their phone number. In return, you must offer them yours–and your very soul. Seriously, if I could turn back time, I’d give my phone number to NO ONE. Not even my mother, that money-tossing fiend. Stand still for a minute or so, and ring ring ring, it’s Joey to tell you all about his RATTATA. Great. Just about every phone call I’ve gotten has been pointless; there’s no reward, no missions, just a bunch of BS and wasted time tapping through. I’m guessing this is the game’s way of making you feel connected to more than just pocket monsters, but it is an empty mechanic, beyond annoying, and a waste of precious time.

Dragon Age: Origins handles in-game relationships better…but not great. For one, thanks to Ferelden’s serious lack of technogadgetry, the Grey Warden does not have a cell phone. Instead, he/she has a mouth and two ears, and using them they can affect how other characters feel. Some might grow to hate the Grey Warden, others will fall in love, and a couple will remain indifferent no matter what you do. You can give gifts and listen to their stories to maybe pick up an important sidequest. Also, depending on who you are traveling with, certain key events will lead them to voicing their opinions, and it’s up to the Grey Warden to decide how to react. At least there’s rewards here: useful skills are unlocked as companions grow in friendship.

So unless in-game relationships do more than just annoy and waste time, they need to get out…and get out fast.

Sex and videogames, oh la la

Last night, I had sex…twice. First with a forest witch, and then immediately afterward with a bisexual assassin.

Before you start spreading crazy rumors around the Interwebz, let me be more specific: I wiggled my way into Morrigan’s arms after giving her 943 gifts and then easily (almost shockingly easy) convinced Zevran to have his way with me in Dragon Age: Origins. Yes, this game offers the chance to have sex with women, men, and even multiple partners at once if you plot enough. That’s great and all. Too bad the actual sex is silly and uncomfortable to sit through.

However, I like that sex is there and that BioWare is willing to make it a part of the game, whether vital or not. So far, it’s all been optional. Getting someone in bed naturally raises their liking of you, but you also have to be careful because your camp is open to all eyes, and certain someones might be disappointed in seeing the Grey Warden put the moves on somebody else.

But back to the uncomfortableness. In Mass Effect, you could woo some of your female/male companions (depending on your gender) and have an intimate moment before things really hit the fan at the Citadel. This made the sex emotional and important, and it was a short scene, with quick glimpses of positions and fingers running here and there and a sense that bodies were in motion. Nothing too crazy, and certainly not worthy of major news channels freaking out. The same could almost be said of Dragon Age: Origins except this time it’s not emotional and important, and with the already weak Xbox 360 graphics…it’s laughable.

I don’t have so much a problem with undressed Morrigan…though her breasts seem to remain magically motionless throughout all the turning and bouncing. Heck, even Zevran was fine. It’s the Grey Warden. He/she is always ugly no matter how hard you try to design them during the character creation phase, and they never look like they are enjoying anything. At one point, with Zevran, my mage grimaced in pain (I’ll let you speculate why). Add to this cheesy “romantic” music and campfire, and well, you’ve got silly sex. Which is a shame because the dialogue leading up to and after the penultimate act is superb, full of life and wit and shy flirting. I’d almost wish they’d faded to black à la Fable II and just let our imaginations run wild.

Well, that’s two out of four:

Witch Gone Wild (10G): Experienced the thrill of romance with Morrigan

Easy Lover (10G): Experienced the thrill of romance with Zevran

All that’s left now is to woo Alistair and Leliana. Poor Shale gets no action…

Pokémon Black and Pokémon White, like the cookie

…or a penguin. Or a tux. Or a penguin in a tux eating a black-and-white cookie.

Either way, Pokémon Black and Pokémon White are next two titles for rabid fans to stew over. No reference to specific gems or stones this time around, but I also can’t help and think it has something to do with LOST‘s mysterious black and white rocks that occasionally show up, often as symbols for good and evil. Very little is known about these next generation games, but rumors speak of Zorua and its advanced form Zoroark, a dark Pokémon. I hope they continue to implement the Pokéwalker.

Might be a 2010 release for those shmucking it up in Japan. No idea for the United States. I’d wager early next year. Chances are I won’t even complete my Pokédex for HeartGold before Black/White arrive. I’m, um, pretty slow at catching ’em all. Tara and I tried for probably over an hour to obtain a Jigglypuff, but alas, that pink puffy bastard eluded every single Safari ball we threw at its face. Waaah!

What it is to burn

While trying to get out of the Fade during the mission to recruit the Circle of the Magi to the Grey Warden’s cause, I blindly opened a door and charged straight into a wall of fire…and died instantly. Game over. Your journey has come to an end. Et cetera.

And you can bet your buttocks that I hadn’t saved recently either.

It’s moments like this that make Dragon Age: Origins frustrating. Why is it instant, fall over death? Why not some minor damage to hit points to tell you to stay back…or even just an invisible wall to block your path? Instead, the developers placed fire behind a door, a door you can open just like any other door, and the millisecond you touch it, that’s it. Curtains for you, Grey Warden. Lacy, gently wafting curtains. Don’t you know you can’t cross walls of fire…even though you occasionally set yourself on fire and stay that way throughout cutscenes? Silly elvish mage. Consistency is for kids!

The in-game directions tell me I need to find a way to get past the fire. Gee, how about this magic spell called Winter’s Grasp that I’ve been using on and off for the last 15 hours? It only freezes things.

Episode #5 of The First Hour podcast, now with more Paul

Good job, Brock. Where’s it at specifically?

Oh, right. The First Hour. Head on over to listen to episode #5 (don’t ask where #4 went; I think a demon ate it) of their podcast and you can then hear me talk about Pokemon HeartGold, what it’s like to be a n00b to the series, and just how many steps I take roughly on a workday. It’s not a lot. Also, at one point I couldn’t remember the word “collar” when talking about clipping the Pokewalker to one’s cat…oh well. It was still fun all around, and I’d love to be back on the show in the future!

Just, y’know, maybe not talking about Pocket Monsters again…

Making it last with Pokémon

According to my save data for Pokémon HeartGold, I’ve now invested over 15 hours into the game. The amazing part? I’ve only made a really small dent. My Pokédex says I’ve seen about 75 Pokémon, of which I’ve caught around 30 or so. I just earned my third gym badge, now finally moving past Goldenrod City to the National Park and the Pokéthlon for some Pokélympic games (side-note: that was way too many pokés for one sentence). A good portion of this time has been spent on grinding my team towards a better balance, as well as just meandering about the world.

But still. Fifteen hours and only a little bit through. For some games, that’s their entire length…or not even. I’m looking directly at you, MySims Agents.

It’s just nice to know that HeartGold is in it for the long haul. And so am I. And so is Abigail:

Size matters, but not to me

For Fallout 3, there’s a varied choice of weaponry: you can go unarmed, you can wield melee weapons like the über awesome Deathclaw Glove, you can toss and set explosives, you can use an array of small guns,you can zap enemies into piles of ash and green goo thanks to energy weapons like the Plasma Rifle, and you can totally demolish just about anything with big guns. Seriously, a Raider is not going to get up after you set a mini nuke off on his/her head.

But get ready for a humdinger.

Of those weapon types just listed and after a collective total of 120 hours spent scouring the Wasteland, I’ve never used a big gun. Not even once. Both my good karma and evil karma characters have instantly attached themselves to smaller weaponry, Chinese Assault Rifle and energy weapons, respectively, and any time I come across a big gun in the wild or off a bullet-infested Super Mutant, I either leave it where it is or sell it as soon as possible. Even missiles, which do not take up inventory space, get sold because I know that, no matter the what and when of the situation, I will never launch them.

I wonder what Sigmund Freud would have to say about this pic.

For one to roleplay Fallout 3 using only big guns…well, that’s a bit challenge at the start. They are hard to come by, weigh a lot, and are often usually in bad condition upon first looting. There’s only a couple of perks to help you on your way to mastering them as well. When you leave Vault 101, you will most likely have a pistol, a police baton, and your jumpsuit. From there, finding or purchasing a good one will take time and a lot of effort. But ammo is scarce, they are not the best weapons in close quarters or when being sneaky is vital, and they even have a greater chance of injuring the Lone Wanderer.

One might assume that some of the tougher enemies like Deathclaws and Super Mutant Behemoths can only be killed via big guns. Those folks are wrong. I’ve dropped a ‘Claw or two thanks to a well-placed bottlecap mine and some undetected shots to the head with Lincoln’s Repeater.

I appreciate that big guns are there in the world and love taking down those that wield gatling guns and such, but I don’t ever really expect to use them. They don’t fit my playing style, now or ever really. After all, Paul means small. And yes, I know I just set myself up there. Go on, try me.