REVIEW: Hidden Mysteries Titanic: Secrets of the Fateful Voyage

Developer/Publisher: Activision
Platform: Nintendo DS (also available for the Nintendo Wii)
Genre(s): Point-and-Tap Adventure
Mode(s): Singe player, assisted suicide
Rating: Teen
Time clocked: Three to four hours

If Hidden Mysteries Titanic: Secrets of the Fateful Voyage could be considered a videogame then I’d consider it the worst videogame ever crafted. But it’s not a videogame; it’s an exercise in excessive tapping. And you’d probably have more fun going down with the iconic sailing vessel than solving these puzzles.

Percy Jackson DS game from the abode of Hades

I’m just finishing up the fifth and final book in the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series–The Last Olympian–and am eagerly (though somewhat cautiously) anticipating the theatrical release of Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief. They are fun books, with a lot of humor and Greek geek, and while many might instantly compare them to (or call them a ripoff of) Rowling’s Harry Potter, they should do some research and learn that Rick Riordan’s first manuscript was written in 1994.

Regardless of that fact, as the gaming industry is wont to do, there’s going to be a videogame release to coincide with the movie release. Tie-ins, they never end well. And evidently, Percy Jackson’s adventures are perfect for…an RPG on the Nintendo DS? Really?

Yeah, I don’t get it either. It comes out on 02/09/10, and check below the cut for some atrocious-looking screenshots. I’m in pain just posting them. Quick, feed me ambrosia!

Two new AAA, 5-star, blockbuster Nintendo DS games!

I’m visiting my family for the weekend, and that means checking out my mother’s DS collection while home. Now, we’re two completely different DS gamers; I like the big name, mainstream action/RPG games like The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks and Scribblenauts, and she’s very heavy into the puzzle/mystery games. I’ve played some of them, and they each have their highs and lows. Zenses Ocean is nothing more than a small collection of uninspired mini-games, but Mystery Case Files: MillionHeir, while formulaic, was actually a lot of fun. You found things, you played a mini-game, and then you went back to finding things. I dunno, I guess I’m a sucker for hidden item pictures…it’s been an ongoing love, which started by reading the comics section of the newspaper every Sunday morning.

Anyways, my mother’s stuck on two of her newly purchased DS games and rather than plow through them, she’s just giving them to me. Cool, cool. Alas, I’ve never heard of them: Titanic: Secrets of the Fateful Voyage and Nancy Drew: The Mystery of the Clue Bender Society. The former title says, “Feel the ship deck creek as you search for hidden objects, decode secret puzzles and solve the greatest sea mystery ever.” Pretty sure the ship sinks. Mystery solved!

Also, it actually says “creek” on it:

Apologies for the crappy quality. But, uh, Activision…I’m available for copy editing!

No POTM for January 2010

So, January 2010 is coming to a close…and I didn’t make a single purchase this month. Nor do I plan to.

Between getting four games for Christmas (TouchMaster 3, The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks, BioShock, and LEGO Indiana Jones 2) and winning a free download of Serious Sam HD: The First Encounter, I’ve had plenty to play and keep me busy during those rare moments when I have what you slackers call “free time.” Plus, I’m still loving Fallout 3, as well as picking up some bereaved games for future reviews at The First Hour.

I generally allow myself the purchase of one game a month, whether it’s a big AAA retail game or more like a $10 used bargain binner. It’s like a reward for myself for making it through another day or whatever excuse sounds best. But this ultimately doesn’t mean I’m picking up two games come February. Gotta stick to my guns.

Possible titles and why though for Purchases of the Month for February 2010 are:

• Dragon Age: Origins (BioWare fantasy with lots of swords and blood and dragons and…stats)
• Assassin’s Creed 2 (reviews say it improved a lot of things, but I still just don’t know if I’d enjoy it)
• Mario & Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story (seems like a fun, quirky action RPG for the DS)

Got a suggestion? Try me in the comments below. Word of warning: I’m not just ready for Mass Effect 2 yet so you can cross that off your speculative list. Sorry, spaceheads!

Cautiously Optimistic about Mass Effect 2

Evidently, there’s some crazy popular new game coming out tomorrow that everyone’s super excited for…I think it’s this one, but I’m not 100% sure:

No? Hmm…well, I’m surely stumped then. Oh wait. Wait a sec. It might be Mass Effect 2. Yeah, I think that’s releasing tomorrow, too. Poor epic sci-fi game. It’s gonna get lost in the flood as sales of Horrible Histories: Ruthless Romans take over, forcing BioWare to go bankrupt immediately. I kid, I kid. It’ll do just fine.

Anyways, I just checked out IGN’s video review of the game. I also dropped Mass Effect back into my Xbox 360 earlier in the week, and between these two things…I’m cautiously optimistic. To set the scene, I’m still trying to finish a second playthrough of the first game, with a mean Shephard and a strong supporting cast of biotics brutes. It’s not going well. I hate driving the M35 Mako, I hate having to wait between rooms as I ride the Elevator of Boring, and I hate trying to navigate the inventory system, which, ultimately, is completely useless and all I do now is turn everything I get–and I do mean everything; I don’t even care what it is–into medigel or whatever it is that heals you. These things really do work against me and my brain and the idea of having a good time. On the other hand, I love everything else about Mass Effect.

And from what early reviews and impressions hint at, BioWare kept what I loved and dropped all the bad. A new menu interface, no more aimless Mako excursions, elevators are a thing of the past, and even more customization for characters. Plus, you can transfer your character and his/her decisions over. Still, early reports say that not all is great, with glitches and freezing occuring, but I’m gonna keep my mind open. I know I said this was a game sequel I was not interested in, but if BioWare was able to fix the broken and make the shiny even shinier…well, I guess I will just have to eat my words.

Maybe just knowing that things will get better will be enough for me to push through Mass Effect for the second time. Or maybe not. I could always give Dragon Age: Origins a try, too.

Spirit Tracks: Blowing, Not for the Faint of Breath

Recently, I brought my car in for an oil change. Normally, since this place is right next door to a shopping development, I’d wander for an hour or so until it was time to come back and mosey on home. However, I decided to use this hour to my benefit instead of wasting it window shopping…or worse, actually shopping. So I sat uncomfortably in the dealership’s tiny waiting room and took out my Nintendo DS, the cartridge for The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks ready to go. All I had to do was ignore the blaring TV and few other waiting souls in the room. Easy enough to do…until I had to play the Spirit Flute to continue playing.

For those not in the know, the Spirit Flute is one of the first items you’ll receive in The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks. To play it, you have to slide the flute around via the touchscreen and simultaneously blow into the microphone to hit the different colored notes. Some songs will perform special actions in-game while other songs are vital to plot progression.

Unfortunately, the song I had to currently play to continue was not a simple one like the first two or three were. This song involved skipping a colored note and playing the one next to it. A tricky manuever, I can assure you. Why? Well, blowing into the mic and moving the flute around are two actions that work against each other because, naturally, you’re also trying to do a third: see. Yup, fight as you must, you will be trying to look down at the touchscreen to see where you’re moving the flute, and when you do that, if you’re exhaling, your breath will miss the microphone hole considerably, setting yourself up for EPIC FAIL. Well, maybe not that hardcore. I just never get to write EPIC FAIL, y’know?

And I was hoping to get it right on try #1…because, while simply playing a Nintendo DS in front of a bunch of manly men talking about gears and tire pressure and engine noises got me some looks, the ones I got for raising a tiny device to my mouth and then blowing at it like a candle gone wild were, more or less, variations of the following:

But I didn’t get it right on the first try. Or the second. Not even the twelth attempt. Practicing didn’t help much either. Each time I failed, I grew more exasperated, and I think one of the fellows sitting across from me suspected I was having a panic attack. I wasn’t. If only I could have told him the truth. If only the truth wasn’t so ridiculous.

So I stopped playing and wasted the next forty-five minutes watching TV.

I later got past the tricky song part when I was home, in the comfort and silence of my apartment, where the only mocking looks I got were the ones I gave to myself in the mirror. In short, I’ve never much liked DS games that implemented the microphone, and now I have another reason why to add to the list. The Spirit Flute is fine when used optionally, which most of the time it is, but a pain in the jaw when forced down our throats.

REVIEW: TouchMaster 3 (over at The First Hour)

I’ve got a new on-the-side writing gig at The First Hour, and my first bit of work for them, a review of TouchMaster 3, is now up. The First Hour is a site that uses a unique structure in reviewing games…they cover only the first hour of the game (or, in the cases of many DS games, the first half-hour), and it’s a system that works well. Much like with the first few chapters of a book, if a game can’t entice you within sixty minutes, there’s probably no reason to keep playing afterward.

Anyways, not every game I come across and/or play will be The First Hour material. I’d like to keep this blog as active as possible. But, I now have a perfect excuse to go back and play some games I gave up on or bought and never even tried. The next two I’m probably going to tackle are XIII and Odin Sphere.

Either way, I’m excited to be a part of the site!

Christmas loot

I made out very well this holiday season, finding the following beneath the Christmas tree:

Touchmaster 3 – Haven’t played any yet because I’m going to be doing a half-hour handheld review for The First Hour. I did, however, look over my fiancee’s shoulder a few times as she jumped between games. Seems like an interesting mix of mini-games. More to come later…

The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks – Only an hour into the game or so (just received the whirlwind tool, to be more specific), but I’m looking forward to more already. I’m not quite as put off as I was upon initially starting The Phantom Hourglass.

Lastly, I got this big boy:

Bioshock – I tried the demo a few months back and enjoyed it more than I expected. So now I’m ready to head deep underwater into the throwback city of Rapture. Wish me luck. As I’ve previously mentioned, I’m not terribly great at shooters unless they are a mix of RPG/shooting.

These three should keep me busy for quite some time. Plus, there’s always Fallout 3. Always…

Just hanging out

Before heading home for the holidays, I made a very big decision: I decided not to bring home my Xbox 360.

I’m only visiting my folks for a few days, and so far they are pretty packed full of stuff to do. I did, however, bring my Nintendo DS, and am enjoying visiting some games I let fall to the wayside (Scribblenauts, namely), but part of me misses the ol’ Xbox and Fallout 3. I guess it is officially an obsession. Oh well. It’ll be there when I get back. Yet any Xbox games I open Christmas morning will be FULL OF TEASE.

JUST BEAT: MySims Agents

Developer/Publisher: EA Redwood Shores/Electronic Arts
Platform: Nintendo DS [reviewed], Nintendo Wii
Genre(s): Mystery Adventure Game
Mode(s): Single player
Rating: E
Time clocked: The main storyline took less than 6 hours to complete, but game continues afterwards

Ultimately, this is a shame. Now, that’s not the best way to start a review, but it’s the truth. This game will let you down no matter what your expectations are, and considering I could only find one or two DS-only reviews online…well, I had zero expectations. The only thing I knew going into MySims Agents was that the Wii version was pretty good, that it involved solving mysteries and questioning townspeople and so on, as well as incorporating the standard Sims-like customization gameplay. Sounded like a great mix of things.

That is not the case here. Pun intended.

In MySims Agents, you play an agent visiting a town, there to unravel the mystery of its secret treasure. I named my town Megaton, but alas, the secret treasure was not an A bomb that I got to detonate and rid the world of these gibberish-speaking buffoons. Plot-wise, this is not a direct port of the Wii game. In the Wii version, you must stop Morcubus and his corrupt company MorcuCorp from stealing the Crown of Nightmares. In the DS version, you must stop Thief V from stealing the secret treasure. Seriously, it is written as secret treasure until the very end of the game when you discover what it actually is. SPOILER ALERT: it’s lame and insensible and…a giant bell. I’m not even kidding. Just goes to show the different level of care and love between the two iterations.

Gameplay involves receiving a mission from HQ, talking to townspeople, playing a minigame, waiting, waiting, waiting, solving a riddle, and then doing it all over again. In between all of this is the collecting of house blueprints, essences from in-game items, furniture, and fish, as well as redecorating your room and town. Repetitive, but the fun is left up to you, as I challenged myself to collect all things Japanese, which made it a little more exciting when dealing with the synthesizer and such.

The mini-games…they are uninspired. Granted, I still need to unlock three or four, but the ones I’ve played so far are either frustratingly challenging or just a rip-off of something else (hi, Diner Dash!). Kite surfing is extremely unforgiving (two hits and you basically have to restart), identifying the suspect is pretty fun but grows stale, and the one where you unearth mines in the ground has some wonky control issues. None of them stand out, really, but I am interested in seeing how the gem-themed one featured on the back of the box turns out.

Graphically, MySims Agents is pretty good, full of colors, all of them bright and playful. I particularly liked seeing my town during sunset with a wash of reds and oranges. That said, some of the furniture/clothing is just the same item with a different skin.

The biggest problem MySims Agents has going for it is that it’s a lie. You do no real detective work or anything close to what I imagine a secret agent might do, and truth be told after I changed my character into more casual clothes (instead of a suit) I completely forgot who he was supposed to be all along. It’s the bare bones of a good game, and could have been so much more. I understand that it is targeted at a younger demographic, but when the credits started to roll after 6 hours I thought someone from EA was going to jump out of my closet and yell, “Gotcha!”

The little coverage found for MySims Agents DS should have been my first clue that this game was a bit of a failure. It is tedious through and through, and I only hope this here review will help others steer clear.

4 out of 10