For some strange reason, Netflix is coming to the Nintendo 3DS

Let’s clear this up at the beginning: I’m a huge fan of Netflix, and I’ve only had the service for about two months now. It’s wonderful and stocked with stuff to watch, and Tara and I use it more for TV shows than actual movies, but it works when we need it, perfect for background noise, and I’ve yet to have any kind of problems streaming media. For the first month free and then $8.00 every month thereafter, it’s a strong package, hard not to want.

That said, the fact that, according to this report from Kotaku, Netflix is going to be available on the Nintendo 3DS makes me laugh. And not like “ha ha I’m so happy I’m giggling” but rather “ha ha did you see that idiot stick his tongue to the frozen pole hee.” Sure, portable Netflix sounds dreamy, but considering the weak battery life of the Nintendo 3DS, as well as the teeny tiny screens and limited audio (unless using headphones), I can’t see much use for it. Oh sure, it’s biggest billing for the 3DS will be streaming 3D programming, but considering one has to hold the device in such a precise manner to get the full 3D effect, would someone really want to hold it like so for 30 minutes? An hour? A twelve-hour Lord of the Rings marathon? Methinksnot.

Sorry, Netflix. You can just stay on my Xbox 360 for now.

Stumbling into Animal Crossing’s pitfall yet again

Hi, my name is Paul, and I used to be heavily addicted to Animal Crossing: Wild World. It was the kind of thing that overtook me swiftly, silently, softly; I would go to bed playing it and wake eager to play it again. My lunch hour was not about eating food, but rather using that time wisely to interact with my town’s villagers, find fossils, and collect whatever bugs/fish were only available at such a time. If asked what my Saturday night plans were, I’d have to figure out a solid way to lie and not reveal that I was going to see K.K. Slider play and get a new song for my red boombox.

Yes, it was that kind of addiction, but I did eventually overcome it. This was, naturally, only after I had done everything possible in the game: 100% bugs found, 90% fish caught (curse you, Coelacanth!), all fossils found, all true paintings donated, a good percentage of my item list filled out, house fully paid off and filled with kick-ass furniture. All that and more. Deep down, despite still playing it even after the fact, I knew the magic grip was loosening, and eventually I did wean myself away, passing the cartridge on to Tara to get addicted to.

At some point last year, my wife got Animal Crossing: City Folk for the Wii, and I watched her set it up, doing the same meaningless tasks for Nook to get started. It didn’t look any different gameplay-wise than what I had already spent a year obsessing over, and so I ignored it, uninterested, disappointed, especially with the slim new offerings like going to the city. I decided to wait for a true sequel.

And then something happened a few months ago: I started to play it every day or so, only for about 15 minutes. It’s a great distraction. It’s a nice change of pace after stabbing assassins or shooting aliens or staring at RPG stat screens for far too long. I told myself that it wasn’t a race, and that if I didn’t pay off my house as soon as possible that the (animal) world would not end. I found myself enjoying just running around and methodically rebuilding my collections (only going after what I wanted then at the moment versus buying everything just to have everything), and once I started gathering Mario-themed items from floating presents, well, I knew I was back. At least for a bit. Until the Nintendo 3DS version drops, of course:

Granted, the magical hold is definitely not as tight as before, but I am excited now that winter has ended in-game to get my net out and collect some fun insects.

Nintendo 3DS launch lineup launches itself into facepalmery

Launch lineups are pretty important. They are the weapons console systems wield to club consumers into submission. They are limelight dancers. They are reasons for being. And alas, for the Nintendo 3DS, the launch day titles are weak beyond belief, and all that hype over the Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time remake, Starfox 64 3D, Kid Icarus: Uprising, Metal Gear Solid something or other, and a new Animal Crossing game were just that, hype. Sure, they’ll be released eventually, but so will every other great game being created. What matters currently is what is available at the time of purchase, and brace yourself, dear Grinding Down readers, it’s not looking good.

First, let me say that I’m 90% sure I’m going to pick up a Nintendo 3DS. I have a Christmas bonus burning a hole in my sock drawer, and I think that the updated hardware is gonna be great. There’s built-in minigames, a camera, a music thingy, a Street Pass function, Mii maker, and plenty more. I’ve been wanting to upgrade to a DSi for some time, but this is a much better jump. As a glasses-wearer, I’m also downright curious to see this 3D in action and love the fact that it can be turned off completely. Most likely…it will. As for the games I want to play on it come Day One, well…

Here’s the three from Nintendo itself, and yes, you’ll notice none of the titles contain the name Mario:

• Pilotwings Resort – Set on the same tropical Wuhu Island from Wii Sports Resort, players go on an aerial adventure by using airplanes, hang gliders, and rocket belts.
• Steel Diver – This is…a submarine game. Players will control the sub’s speed, depth, and pitch, as well as fire torpedoes at enemies.
• Nintendogs + Cats – Pet sim. Now with bonus kitty action!

The rest of the launch titles for the Nintendo 3DS are third-party titles. See ’em here:

• Super Street Fighter IV 3D Edition from Capcom
• The Sims 3 from EA
• Madden NFL Football from EA Sports
• Pro Evolution Soccer 2011 3D from Konami Digital
• LEGO Star Wars III: The Clone Wars from LucasArts
• Ridge Racer 3D from Namco Bandai Games
• Super Monkey Ball 3D from SEGA
• Bust-A-Move Universe from Square-Enix
• Samurai Warriors: Chronicles from Tecmo Koei America
• Asphalt 3D from Ubisoft
• Combat of Giants: Dinosaurs 3D from Ubisoft
• Rayman 3D from Ubisoft
• Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon: Shadow Wars from Ubisoft

A lot of remakes and ported games. A lot of titles with 3D tacked on the end. Combat of Giants: Dinosaurs 3D sounds like perfect shovelware, and I can already see a hundred copies floating in those Best Buy “hey, whatever, man” bins they got from time to time. Yeah, it’s all a bit underwhelming. Go ahead and sit there for a bit, I won’t mind. I wonder who at Nintendo dropped the (Super Monkey) ball (3D) on this one? Tsk tsk. I mean, all we, as gamers interested in gaming, needed was one strong title, whether it be a new Mario sidescroller or maybe a different take on Metroid or Kirby or, y’know, one of those mascots Nintendo has in its vaults. But no, we’re reduced to slim picking.

So, which game am I gonna get to make my Nintendo 3DS even more enjoyable?

YOU WANT BREAD? NO GAME FOR YOU! NEXT!

I’ll just wait it out until the newest Animal Crossing drops.

Tell me a monster of a tale, Monster Tale

Without warning, I have a new game to add to my list of DO WANTS for 2011. Enter Monster Tale! It’s an adorable platformer for the Nintendo 3DS made by the creators of Henry Hatsworth and the Puzzling Adventure that’s a mix of an RPG, a Metroidvania, and a throwback to SNES classics. Beautiful sprites suck me in every single time.

Anyways, you play as Ellie, the blue-haired heroine above as she explores a mysterious world with her pet Chomp. A fairly hollow setup, but it’s more than enough to start with, and the gameplay seems to be the most unique thing about Monster Tale. See, Chomp can assist Ellie during combat and gain EXP (from eating cookies from one instance that I saw) and use items you pick up on the top screen. These items are dropped to the bottom screen–the “Pet Sanctuary”–where Chomp can hang out, regenerate health, learn skills from scrolls, and use items to help you out in battle. Chomp also comes with his/her own skill tree and seems to be customizable in terms of skills and actions.

Imagine if all monsters could gain experience and strength bonuses from eating cookies:

::shudder::

Today is the first I’ve ever heard of this game, but I guess I’m late to the party as some Googling shows a few sites doing previews and all that jazz dating back to early January 2011. However, what really hooked me was the Quick Look over at Giant Bomb, which does spoil a bit of the beginning, but does wonders to show you why it’s gonna be a great addition to anyone’s DS collection. It comes out some time in March. Between this and Radiant Historia, my DS is gonna be cruisin’ for a bruisin’.

Here’s a few more screens to slober over, too:

Nintendo 3DS is now priced, dated, and overconfident

Long have we all wanted to know, and now that the day has come, I wish I could un-know all the details about the forthcoming Nintendo 3DS. See, before I learned that Nintendo’s newest piece of future tech was releasing on March 27, 2011 for a disgustingly gross $249.99, I was curious about the system. Genuinely interested in seeing how the glasses-free 3D worked, and whether any of the games were worth pursuing, in 3D, in 2D, in 1D. And now…not so much.

Alas, it comes down to price. No surprise there, as I’m always conscious about spending money and getting what money is worth. Two hundred and fifty bucks is about seventy-five to fifty bucks too much. I was very shocked to see a portable handheld gaming device priced higher than home-based consoles. The new wireless Xbox 360 is, I think, only $199.99 right now. I guess the 3D gimmick was enough to rack on some more dollar signs than needed. Also, analysts are suggesting that 3DS games could retail for $40 to $50. That’s sickening. Heart-breaking. I already feel grumbly enough buying a new Nintendo DS game for $35, believing that to actually be too much.

For the curious, here’s a list of confirmed launch titles:

• Pilotwings Resort
• Nintendogs + Cats
• Steel Driver
• Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor Overclocked
• Super Street Fighter 4 3D Edition
• Resident Evil: The Mercenaries 3D
• Madden NFL Football
• The Sims 3
• Pro Evolution Soccer 2011 3D
• Lego Star Wars 3: The Clone Wars
• Ridge Racer 3D
• Dual Pen Sports
• Super Monkey Ball 3D
• Thor: God of Thunder
• Crush 3D
• Bust-a-Move Universe
• Samurai Warriors: Chronicles
• Dead or Alive Dimensions
• Asphalt 3D
• Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon Shadow Wars
• Combat of Giants: Dinosaurs 3D
• Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell 3D
• Rayman 3D
• Rabbids Travel in Time

Yowza. A lot of pre-existing games with the 3D tacked on the end. Where’s Kid Icarus or that Zelda remake? Nothing there really shouts “launch title” or “killer first-party game,” demanding that this hardware being a must purchase. Least not for me. Maybe the world is full of closet Nintendogs & Cats fanatics, and all of them will buy out every Nintendo 3DS in every store in every state, starting riots and chaos and the end of the world sooner than predicted. We’ll find out in only a matter of weeks, and I’ll be watching very cautiously. I do hope to eat my own words.

Stop worrying and love the Giant Bomb

I understand the point for most people creating a blog is to attract readers to their blog, to keep these readers, build an army, gain fame and love and lots of cash-money, to maybe, just maybe get videogame companies to send over free review copies (HINT! HINT!), and then retire early, and that linking to a much cooler videogame website counteracts all of this. But still. I gotta do it.

The website is called Giant Bomb, and I only really discovered it a few weeks ago. Truthfully, I’ve been aware of it for some time now, seeing many on Twitter linking to it. It’s from former GameSpot editors Jeff Gerstmann and Ryan Davis in collaboration with Whiskey Media. Actually, calling it a videogame website is a bit misleading; it’s a videogame hub, operating as a wiki first and a traditional website second. It strives to be fun rather than all about business, and they’ve succeeded hands-down. Perusing Giant Bomb is fun. Minigame-like fun, with an addicting nature covering everything you click on. Videogames have Achievements, and Giant Bomb has Quests. These are presented with vague clues, and then you’re off to search for, say, the five locations most “improved” by the Fallout franchise. A lot of these Quests really test your videogame knowledge, and sure, a lot of answers can be Googled, but most can’t. Thankfully, the Quests forum is brimming with more hints and clues, and no simple spoilers, making each completed Quest feeling like a piece of hard work well earned.

But yeah. There’s lots to do. One’s profile can have its own blog, lists, forums, images, and so on. Even the site’s wiki entries can be edited by users to further better the world. In fact, I did one edit already, changing “buddys” to “buddies.” Yes, I’m an editor, and yes, it shows in everything I do. However, the Quests are what keeps me coming back!

If you’re reading this and also a Giant Bomb member, please help me inch closer to completing the Viva la Revolucion! Quest by following me: http://www.giantbomb.com/profile/pabba/

Nintendo 3DS coming to the United States in March 2011

…and I’m totally not gonna buy it on launch day!

Sure, it is coming loaded with bells and whistles out the whazoo, but I’m not entirely sold yet on why, seeing as my Nintendo DS Lite from 2007 is running magically and just as awesome as any other DS iteration, I need this. I’m definitely going to sit back and watch the playing field very carefully; the fact that the 3D aspect of it can be turned off entirely boggles my mind because then you’d just be using an enhanced DSi, and I need to know how much it is worth that experience. Early reviews will be telling, but 3D gaming is something one must experience for themselves, and seeing that I have terrible eyesight, this is looking less and less like something fun, and more of a struggle to get into.

As always, Japan gets to gobble it up first, and the Nintendo 3DS will be released there on February 26 for 25000 yen (about $300). And then Europe and the United States will get it some time in March 2011, but when and for how much is not yet known. Though I feel like those Nintendo reps wouldn’t mind charging us gamers $300 or more for a handheld videogame console we already purchased numerous times before. The only possibility I’d consider in getting this would be due to an awesome trade-in deal, but even then, it’d be hard to part with my Lite…we’ve shared so many good times together, and it’s not like it’s out-of-date or faulty. It just now has to compete with shinier toys.

Anyways, here’s a better picture of the final Nintendo 3DS design:

What do y’all think of it? Mmm analog stick nub thingy…