Drowning in videogames is one way to go

Too many games. Way too many videogames as of late, and there’s probably only more to come. If you think that I’ve been spending these past few days playing each and every new game that has popped into my possession until physical happiness oozes from my very pores…you’d be wrong. Though that does sound nice. I know I did not update Grinding Down on Monday; I know I did the same thing yesterday. Shame, shame. But that has to do with dayjob craziness, not getting lost in a fantasy world or trying to get a robot through a puzzle-laden room.

But I am playing stuff, such as continuing to work at Chrono Trigger before the GiantBomb staff catches up with me. I’ve also picked Radiant Historia back up, probably to Greg Noe‘s glee. Yeah, playing one time-traveling game reminded me that I should also keep playing that other time-traveling game. I kinda forgot about it, sadly, but am already sucked back in thanks to the charismatic characters and fantastic battle systems. I haven’t even turned on my Xbox 360 since last Friday; it’s way too cold to sit out in the living room and game, which stinks as I have plenty still to enjoy there: Skyrim, Beyond Good & Evil HD, Mass Effect II, Mafia II, more L.A. Noire, that D&D romp, and…uh, LEGO Harry Potter, Years 5-7 once we get a second working Xbox 360 controller. Been a lot easier just crawling into bed under the heated blanket and giving my 3DS some love.

A new Humble Indie Bundle is out. And it seems like I have a knee-jerk reaction to their emails; they say, “Hey, get five games for whatever you want to pay!” and I say, “YES, MASTER. YOUR DEMAND IS MY DESIRE.” Upon further inspection, if you pay more than the average price you get two additional games. Here, take a look at what this package contains:

• Jamestown
• Bit.Trip Runner
• Super Meat Boy
• Shank
• NightSky HD
• Gratuitous Space Battles (additional game for paying more than average price)
• Cave Story+ (additional game for paying more than average price)

Alas, Shank and Bit.Trip Runner do not work on my dying Macbook, so they will have to wait until I can get a new computer in 2012. Maybe 2012. Car problems do not come cheap. Played a teensy bit of Cave Story+, and that’s a charming platformer if ever there was one; however, I hate not being able to control with a d-pad and action buttons. Oh well. I’ll endure, I’m sure.

Looks like us 3DS Ambassadors are getting our 10 free GBA games this Friday, and the list is crazy good. I mean, we’ve always known five of the ten titles, but now we know it all, and I’m super stoked for seven of them. I don’t know what percentage seven out of ten equates to, but whatever. I’ve never proclaimed myself as a math magician, which is probably why I’m struggling with Anathem by Neal Stephenson after only 50 pages. Anyways, take a look at these nifty names:

• Fire Emblem: The Sacred Stones
• F-Zero: Maximum Velocity
• Kirby and The Amazing Mirror
• The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap
• Mario Kart: Super Circuit
• Mario vs Donkey Kong
• Metroid Fusion
• Wario Land 4
• WarioWare Inc: Mega Microgame$
• Yoshi’s Island: Super Mario Advance 3

Yeah! I will never not have something to play. Here’s hoping I can enjoy some of these during my vacation time, also known as the last week of December. Here’s hoping…

Staying one time-leap ahead of the Chrono Trigger Endurance Run

Well, it happened again. Chrono Trigger got away from me. You could also say that I got away from Chrono Trigger. Either or, really. And that’s a shame, as I was making such strong progress, certainly getting further into the time-traveling RPG than ever before. Here are the links to prove it, too:

• Crono and the gang help Lavos with his “destroy the world” Kickstarter
• A tale of two Masamunes
• Pushing a button until your fingers fall off is Ayla’s idea of a fun time
• Magus and his castle of crazy

Such progress. Such dang good progress, but then some other videogames came out and grabbed me by the throat and threatened to end my existence if I didn’t give them lots of love and attention. Like The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim and Professor Layton and the Last Specter, as well as that bonus mini-RPG thingy known as London Life. So I did. I loved them, for hours upon hours, and I still love them and am continuing to love them, but I’ve completed two out of the three so far and just took out the Layton cartridge from my 3DS for the first time in over a month. I immediately popped Chrono Trigger back in, so it’s ready and waiting.

The biggest motivation for me making a bigger dent in Chrono Trigger stems from the fact that GiantBomb is doing an Endurance Run of the game, and I’m watching, but only up to a point; once they get to where I am, I’ll be out, but right now, considering that Patrick and Ryan are lost in dino-land instead of back in their own era, I got some time. Last night, I hopped off some pterodactyls and ventured deep into the Tyrano Lair to rescue Ayla’s friend Kino. I also survived a room of invisible transporters and took down Nizbell II, who was a little annoying. Didn’t figure out his pattern into mid-way through the fight, where lightning-based attacks lowered his defense, but any other kind of attack raised it. I spammed Lightning II and Ice II in the end, with Ayla using Kiss more than enough to earn her a reputation back home. I then saved my progress and turned in for the night, but I’m back. You hear that, Chrono? I’M BACK.

And so, my mission statement is now this: to finish Chrono Trigger before 2011 ends. I can do it. I must.

Switch glitch in Nova Prospekt level brings Half-Life 2 to a halt

I keep running into these horrible glitches, but this one’s the worst. Mostly because I can’t seem to find a way around it save for starting Half-Life 2 over entirely, something I’m not interested in at all. Especially considering how long it took me to get to the Nova Prospekt level, which I’d estimate is about three-fourths of the way through it all. Let me explain the problem though.

In the Nova Prospekt level, Gordon Freeman has a bunch of antlions on his side, which make fighting off armed soldiers a lot easier. You just toss this weird, alien ball at a group of them, and the antlions pounce like it’s feeding time. Well, for them, I guess it really is. We’re indoors, at what looks like a security prison of sorts. You eventually stumble across an alien that was tortured to death, and a switch upstairs that opens the main gate, which I assume leads to the level’s exit. I assume because I don’t know. The switch won’t switch on. It just stays red. When it’s on, it should turn green and open some doors. But it does nothing. I even tried throwing a computer keyboard at it.

The worst is that the game autosaves a millisecond before approaching the switch. And unlike Fallout: New Vegas and Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, I do not make a thousand and seven saves. I figured my journey through a linear shooter wouldn’t need it. So, I have a hard save from the beginning of Nova Prospekt and an autosave moments before the switch is to be flipped; reloading neither worked. The switch will not turn on, and after looking around online, I found some other Half-Life 2 players frustrated with the same problem. Sigh…

So, I did something I hate to do: I skipped ahead. Without knowing how Half-Life 2 concludes, I quit to the main menu and started up Half-Life 2: Episode One, and boy was I confused. I guess, in some manner, I know how the previous game ends, but the opening cutscene with the aliens, um, making sexual gestures with Alyx was particularly disturbing. Also, looks like the world has gone to rubble. And dark clouds. And crazy electric storms. Gordon and Alyx, now armed with some vital computer data, have to make it out alive. Episode One plays just like Half-Life 2, but–to my happy surprise–is much more focused and direct, with little room to get lost. Just runnin’ and gunnin’, with no more driving sequences (so far).

Popped a couple of Achievements that I liked, too:

Watch Your Head! (5G): Make it to the bottom of the Citadel’s main elevator shaft in one piece.

Grave Robber (5G): Steal a Zombine’s grenade.

I think this came up shortly after Alyx’s Zombine joke, which was adorable.

Attica! (5G): Destroy the gunship in the hospital attic.

There’s more, but I’ll save ’em for the next edition of Achievements of the Week. Looks like I’m actually on the last level of Episode One, trying to safely get some citizens on a train, which is a little shocking, seeing as I’ve only logged about three hours of gameplay, but probably a good thing. Small chunks of Half-Life 2 are okay with me, especially when I can get through them sans glitches. Think I’ll move on to Episode Two next, and then spend some time reading the Internet on what I missed at the end of Half-Life 2. Because I’m not going back and playing that thing over again; you couldn’t pay me money to drive that horrible airboat or take down that hunter-chopper again. Well, wait. That depends, I guess. It’d have to be a lot of money. Throw down your best offer.

FIRST HOUR REVIEW – Suikoden III

Hey, remember when I drank a bunch of Felix Felicis and found a copy of Suikoden III recently? And then remember when I told the world how scared I was to even play it? Well, I finally did it. Play, that is. For sixty minutes and then some. Even took notes. You can read all about discolored used game discs, getting lost in the smallest village ever, and duck soldiers over at The First Hour.

I’ve played past Suikoden III‘s first hour, too. Thanks to Sergeant Joe, Hugo was able to schedule a meeting with the people doing business in Vinay del Zexay’s council building, but we have to wait at least a day; until then, the capital is ours for the exploring, and it’s a pretty big place, with lots of shops and citizens to speak with. Alas, Hugo’s not rich, so there’s not much to do. I’m guessing at some point I’ll sleep at an inn and go back for that meeting. At some point…

But yeah. Again, please check out my coverage of Suikoden III‘s first hour from Hugo’s chapters.

The problem with too many quests and bosses that glitch in Skyrim

[Major spoilers abound for the following two end-game quests: Sovngarde and Dragonslayer. You’ve been warned.]

I completed Skyrim‘s main quest last night. It happened faster than I expected, and that’s a funny thing to say for someone whose only character’s save slot is just tipping over 60 hours of logged adventuring. But yeah. Read and weep:

Dragonslayer (50G): Complete “Dragonslayer”

Here’s how I operate within open-world games. I start out strong, following the main path and getting everything in place for the major events to happen. I do this for awhile, and I do this all as an upstanding guy, a goody two-shoes, a real hero. But then a scientist wants me to find out what happened to the plants in Vault 13 or some Krogans are interested in getting sushi from the lake in the Presidium or a deceased woman’s mother is looking for closure, something only I can provide–and that’s it. I’m gone for hours, days, in-game weeks. Maybe even months. I forget what I was once doing, and other tasks begin to pile up, constantly reminding me, constantly blocking out the past. At some point, the mental tug is too much, I just internally say okay, whatever and rush through the rest of the game so that I can enjoy my mindless wandering in peace.

So, I did that. I went to Sovngarde to search out Alduin, the World-Eater, and snuff his snout out for good. It’s a misty realm, brimming with legendary Nord warriors–of now and then–and to get into their Hall of Valor, you must defeat the gate guardian Tsun. Well, defeat isn’t right. Basically, you have to knock out at least half his health, and he’s extremely tough. Lohgahn, as a level 30 archer, had to rethink strategies and reload a few times because two hits from Tsun’s weapon was enough to trigger a kill-cam. I mention this because–and this is where concluding Skyrim gets truly sad–Tsun was harder than the game’s final boss. Which is a dragon that eats worlds. Yeah,  I know.

Also, the Hall of Valor was the glitchiest location so far. I stood in wonder as a goblet on a table popped in and out of existence. Same happened with parts of tablecloths. And if you looked out one of the windows and glanced down, it was just a wash of dirt soup. Maybe this was due to the fact that the hall is filled with characters, or maybe that latest patch did worser things.

When it comes time to fight Alduin, you get help. Three Nord warriors from the Hall of Valor join you, which is great as they draw Alduin’s attention away, giving Lohgahn plenty of time and space to cast Dragonrend and loose some poisoned arrows. But then, as Alduin’s health dropped below the halfway mark, I noticed something–he was stuck, his left leg deep beneath the ground, cut off in a crude way. And he wouldn’t turn around. I switched to my treasured Mace of Molag Bal and beat on his scales. The dragon never turned around to fight me. Maybe he was too distracted from the others, or maybe he was glitched. The underwhelming fight ended with Lohgahn returning to his perch and loosing a few more arrows. How terribly dull and ironic; Alduin never even knew the Dovahkiin was there.

Well, with that done I can get back to my disturbingly huge list of side quests and miscellaneous quests. There’s an old woman in Whiterun who always asks me if I found anything out about her son whenever I pass. I guess this is a quest I agreed to very early on in my playthrough. Unfortunately, I don’t remember why. Was her son kidnapped? Lost somewhere? Guess I’ll have to play detective and do a lot of searching through my lists to find the right one. That’ll at least get me on the right path, but the urgency is certainly gone, and now it feels like something Lohgahn’s obligated to do. Hmm…

In short, Skyrim‘s main quest is underwhelming, but at least now I can begin checking off my to-do list. If you beat the main quest, how did you find Alduin at the end? As tough as his name implies or easier than harvesting wings off a butterfly? Speak up. I’m curious to know.

Games Completed in 2011, #34 – The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords Adventures Anniversary Edition

This year marked the momentous 25th anniversary for The Legend of Zelda franchise. Nintendo celebrated with elaborate symphonies, commercials purporting that Robin Williams and his pixie-haired daughter Zelda Williams gamed together, and a free copy of The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords Adventures for those rocking a Nintendo 3DS. Hey, I’m one of those! A 3DS owner, that is. Not Robin or Zelda Williams. Snartleblast, I know.

Some history first. Four Swords Adventures was originally for the Nintendo GameCube and, while containing a lot of familiar faces and gameplay aspects, was a little different than Link’s previously traditional treks to save the princess. This time, it was all about multiplayer chaos, with multiple Links having to work together to solve puzzles and at the same time trying to one-up each other in terms of collecting the most rupees. If you had friends and a lot of systems/cables, you had a solid Friday night. I never got to play it way back when, but it sounds like a fantastic party game, with plenty of room for hijinks and backstabbing.

The 3DS version–well, it’s actually available as a piece of DSiWare, meaning gamers with either/or system can play–was redesigned slightly to include a single-player mode, as well as new enemies, maps, and puzzles. Thank goodness for this. I’m sure many of us went into the freebie with high hopes of playing with friends over WiFi, but the 3DS is still not a great system for online play. I have one person on my 3DS friends list that I know also downloaded the game, but for us to communicate and set up a gaming time session would probably be more hassle than fun. So yeah, more like The Legend of Zelda: One Sword Adventures. Eh…Two Swords, really.

If you don’t have anyone to play with and you’re going the single-player route, the game tosses in a second controllable Link. If you’re familiar with using the Phantom Knight from The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks for solving puzzles then you’ll pick up the pace pretty fast here. A lot of switching and throwing each other at levers. Strangely, at the end of each level, the game still tallies how much your Link earned rupees-wise versus how much the second Link did. Either way…um, you’re a winner. Unless you picked up too many rupoors.

So, there’s three main worlds to traverse across, split up into different levels. I’d say that each averages around 15 minutes to complete. End bosses have a pattern to discover, and there’s also a main end boss who is not named Ganon. Sure, it’s weird, but it is what it is. After completing the game, a new world opens up, the Realm of Memories, letting Link hop into theme-based worlds of Zelda yore. The one based around A Link to the Past is simply fantastic, mainly from a visual standpoint. I am now just daydreaming about getting a 3D version of it down the line. It’s okay, Nintendo. You can charge e-money for it; I’ll pay. Oh, I’ll pay.

The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords Adventures was a free download, and I had a good time playing it. Alas, I’m not getting the mileage from it that Nintendo probably hoped for, but it’s a great experience nonetheless. Get it before it stops being free.

Avid reader and avid button-masher in LEGO Harry Potter, Years 5-7

Tara, as LEGO Hermione, was running around Fred and George’s newly opened joke shop Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes, blasting things apart for studs and solving yet another extremely cryptic puzzle. It took her at least five minutes to realize that I wasn’t with her, let alone moving LEGO Harry around the map.

Where was I? On the store’s ground floor, right in front of a Quibbler dispenser, reading. Laughing and reading. Well, LEGO Harry was doing that–in truth, I was just mindlessly mashing the B button to earn this little zinger:

Avid Reader (25G): Use a Quibbler dispenser 25 times

The Achievement’s description is displayed just above, but it could totally say “Press the B button 25 times” and call it a day. Because that’s all I did. You press B, LEGO Harry pulls an issue of The Quibbler out of the dispenser, glances at it, chuckles, and tosses it into some invisible void where it disappears completely. Then you press B and start it again. Do that 25 times total, and you “earn” an Achievement.

I dunno.

The Quibbler, for those that don’t know, is a tabloid within the Harry Potter universe. It’s published and edited by Xenophilius Lovegood, Luna’s father, and is often considered odd and full of rubbish. Many don’t take it seriously. However, I’m now imagining an alternate time and place where, like in L.A. Noire, picking up a newspaper/The Quibbler kicks off a mini cutscene that fills in some plot exposition without slowing the pace down during the main missions. Given The Quibbler‘s love of strange, random stuff, which is in line with the LEGO videogames, the developers could have done something similar to this. Maybe not 25 times, but 10 or less, and it would make picking up The Quibbler so much more special. Alas…

The LEGO videogames do have moments of genius when it comes to their Achievements, but more or less, they fall into generic tropes of do X action Y times. Those are never exciting. I loved hiding in a barrel as Professor Snape and unlocking Solid Snape in the previous title. Doing five backflips in a row in LEGO Pirates of the Caribbean is a feat worthy of Try Wearing a Corset. The Achievement Shot to the Goon (defeat 8 goons in 8 seconds) from LEGO Batman at least makes doing X a test of skill and not simply a test of mindless endurance.

I guess the thing that bothers me so much about this Achievement is that it takes the place of the what-could-have-been. Like, give us something for falling to our deaths a lot when navigating the moving staircases within Hogwarts. Or how about a slice of Gamerscore for enlarging Hermione’s head with the Engorgio Skullus spell? See, it’s really not that hard, and unaware gamers can earn just plenty from playing the story levels and so on. That said, if you are reading this and work for Traveller’s Tales and need helping designing the Achievements for LEGO Harry Potter 3: Out of Retirement, I’m available for hire.

To infinity and Beyond Good & Evil HD once again

Beyond Good & Evil was one of the first videogames I wrote about publicly during my first attempt at videogame journalism. That was…about four years ago. And the game itself came out in late 2003. So, like eight years later, thanks to a crazy good Cyber Monday sale, I happily tossed down $3.00 for Beyond Good & Evil HD, which is the same game that I played on the PlayStation 2 back in 2007, but now with a shiny coating of high definition. To me, it kinda looks the same, but that’s probably because I don’t have an HD TV and therefore can’t pinpoint the differences.

Well, there is Achievements now. Here’s the two I’ve popped so far:

Hovercraft (5G): Power up the hovercraft

Gamble King 1 (5G): Win 3 times in the coconut shell game against Peepers

I kind of forgot how much I loved this game. I love the short musical cues that play when you enter the lighthouse or when you discover a new item; I love how Latino AI Segundo pronounces Jade’s name as Yade; I love collecting photos of strange Hillys wildlife and earning money for them; I love getting emails on the fly; I love the Star Wars vibe that a culture of homo sapiens, rhino people, and sharkfaces can live in mutual harmony; I love the give-and-take relationship that is Jade and Pey’j. I love lots here.

That said, some parts haven’t aged well–such as mouth movements not being synched to spoken dialogue–but it’s easy to overlook this kind of stuff when the game is so welcoming and enchanting. It starts fast, and really doesn’t slow down unless you want it to. There’s races to win, looters to chase down, photos to take, and security buildings to infiltrate. I paused last night before starting the mission to rescue Double H and find out what went wrong on his last mission for the IRIS Network. That starts the sneaking stuff, which is a blast, but Tara and I had to give LEGO Harry Potter, Years 5-7 some attention for a bit. To further hit home how much I love me some Beyond Good & Evil, I was wishing the entire time LEGO Mr. Weasley and LEGO Tonks were putting out LEGO fire that I was back on Hillys, snapping photos and skipping across glimmering water.

However, I’m not looking forward to winning the pellet game against Francis for his Pearl. Not one bit.

But yeah, $3.00 for a game I already own and paid over $20.00 on years ago…yeah, it’s love. Shame on you if you didn’t pick this up on Cyber Monday. Shame, shame, shame.

All it takes to ignore a dead deer and ruined car is a ton of videogames

Last week, two days before Thanksgiving and hosting the food-centric holiday at our Grimmauld Place for the very first time, I hit a deer with my car. Now, first things first–the deer was already dead, left in the middle of the road like a lost shoe. Hitting a dead deer is, I’m assuming, better than hitting a live one, but the end result was the same, with my car going a bit down the road before overheating and then failing entirely. Had to have it towed to a repair shop, where it is still sitting until an estimator from my insurance policy can take a look at it. With this happening days before a big holiday break, nothing got worked on until starting yesterday, so I was a depressed, anxious man-boy, with plenty of time to worry. So I filled that time up with videogames, to keep the bad thoughts at bay.

First, without even knowing how much this car stuff is going to cost me in the end, I purchased the latest package from Humble Indie Bundle. It’s called The Humble Introversion Bundle, and contains these British gems: Uplink, Darwinia, Multiwinia, and DEFCON. If you paid more than the average price at the time of purchase, you also got Aquaria and Crayon Physics Deluxe, but I already own those games thank to previous bundles so I went the cheapskate route. I paid $2.00 for it, and I do not feel guilty one bit.

Y’all should already know that I then downloaded Metroid II: Return of Samus for my Nintendo 3DS right after a full day of being full.

After that, an email from OnLive was like a warm, sushi-scented hug. To start, I originally signed up with the “play the hottest games via broadband” company to get a free version of Amnesia: The Dark Descent way back in…well, I don’t remember. It’s not important. I’m always trying to remember specific dates and times, when they are more than definitely not vital to the story, a trait passed on to me from my father. Will work on that. Anyways, they were having a crazy weekend of deals, letting users play Homefront and Red Faction: Armageddon for free for 72 hours, and allowing new customers to buy a single game for $1.00. Yes, one dollar. Any game they had. Like, uh, you want Saints Row: The Third? ONE DOLLAR. You want L.A. Noire? ONE DOLLAR. I wanted Lord of the Rings: War in the North? ONE SHINY DOLLAR. It’s a little befuddling, but whatever; I charged my e-dollar and started playing LOTR: WITN with extreme glee and an Xbox 360 controller instead of keyboard/mouse. The only downfall of OnLive is that they expect you to be hooked directly into your router, whereas I was on a Mac using WiFi, which definitely caused some hiccups here and there. But for a dollar, that’s a moot complaint.

The remainder of Black Friday was spent over at my brother-in-law’s house, where a group of four soldiers made a dent in Super Mario Bros.: The Lost Levels. I can’t remember the exact worlds, but it was something like 3-1 to 4-3. Crazy hard stuff, but a fun time ultimately. Especially when three of us just plain gave up and sat watching Sean keep on keeping on. He deserves a lot of the credit, truly. We also played some football on the Wii, which is always a ridiculous affair.

Yesterday, on Cyber Monday, I started getting sad again. I started thinking about my car and money and wads of money with wings flying away from me as I chased it all right off a cliff that emptied into a roaring sea. So when I saw that Microsoft was having a sale via Xbox Live, I purchased some points and bought some more games and add-ons. Namely, these suckers: Beyond Good & Evil HD, Dungeons & Dragons: Daggerdale, and the final two DLC cases for L.A. Noire. With 130 MP to spare. Not like I can do much with that amount, but whatever.

Oh, and I just got emailed that those who purchased The Humble Introversion Bundle were now getting Dungeons of Dredmor. Another game to play.

So yeah, that’s a lot of new games over a short span of days. I’ve only really skimmed the surfaces on ’em, as time was also devoted to The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, LEGO Harry Potter 2, and some IRL Magic: The Gathering. I’m still without my car, though a rental has been acquired, but until I can know for certain what is happening and what I’m responsible for, I’m going to continue to fret–internally, mind you–and the best way to push it all back is with videogames. Lots and lots of videogames. If you guessed that I use ’em as a means of pure escapism, then this Grinding Down post is your best piece of proof.

Samus as she’s always been in Metroid II: Return of Samus

I made decent attempts at the original Metroid, both back when it was out on the NES via a neighbor’s system and many moons later with it in my pocket on the Nintendo 3DS. I absolutely love and continue to play Super Metroid to this day. I even had a GameBoy for a good chunk of my childhood–and yet, I missed out on Metroid II: Return of Samus. I blame Mario, naturally, and…um, more Mario.

As evidence proves true here, I’ve had $6.22 sitting pretty in my 3DS for some time now. Nothing has been released on the eShop lately that’s looked even remotely enticing. Okay, okay. Freaky Forms: Your Creations, Alive!–despite its zany title–seems like a good time. I had way too much fun making silly and weak creatures in Spore Creatures. So, maybe one day. But not today, or tomorrow, or the day after that because I’ve already spent my eShop money. Yup, that’s right. I did some pre-Black Friday shopping and bought Metroid II: Return of Samus on Thanksgiving evening, after a busy day of family, talking, not talking, and too much foodstuffs. It was a nice little distraction-limned treat for myself, and I crawled into bed, turned the heated blanket on, and began hunting Metroids.

See, in Metroid II: Return of Samus, you’re tasked with taking out Metroids. Thirty-nine of them, in fact, which is a weird number, but whatever. Maybe forty would’ve tipped the scales or something. This has to do with the fact that Samus previously prevented the Space Pirates from using the Metroid race for their own evil purposes in the original Metroid. Now, to stop another attempt by the Space Pirates, Samus has been sent to the Metroid’s home planet of SR388 to eviscerate every last Metroid she finds. That ought to do it, right?

So far, I’ve taken down two Metroids. Pew, pew, blam. The game plays just like Metroid and Super Metroid except it’s a lot less open and more linear, with very little back-tracking. Sometimes that’s okay. Still, there’s no map, and taking damage from even the minor enemies can be devastating. One nice addition that definitely inspired the save+health-restoring stations in Super Metroid are the inclusion of save spots and energy/missile-recharging balls, as well as the ability to create restore points via the 3DS. And speaking of balls, I was pleasantly surprised to find Samus able to roll into a ball at the start of the game; the new spider-ball ability takes a bit to get used to though. My suggestion for those stuck: try everything until it clicks. Y’know, like I did.

Other oddness includes Samus being huge on the screen, a severe lack of background detail, and less than stellar music. That said, it’s more side-scrolling Metroid-blasting action, and that’s really all I need. With the ability to save frequently and recharge health much easier, I suspect I’ll finish Metroid II: Return of Samus far sooner than ever completing the original Metroid. Watch out, you thirty-seven Metroids left! I’M COMING FOR YOU.