30 Days of Gaming, #4 – Your guilty pleasure game

Hands down, this would have to be Pokemon HeartGold and Pokemon White. I openly admit that this game series is very addicting, with so many pocket monsters to collect and raise, as well as tons of extra goodies to waste time on while slowly grinding your team to perfection. The throwback graphics hit home, and I dig that there’s a crazy amount of stats buried beneath every Pokemon, even with I myself don’t pay attention to such minutia. However, as a twenty-seven-year-old, recently married man, I can’t help but feel like, at times, I’m playing a kid’s game. Or something seriously twisted. Also, stuff like this doesn’t help:

So yeah, it’s a guilty pleasure. Always will be, especially as I continue to age. And I’ll keep playing, sure, but only when nobody’s looking.

30 Days of Gaming, #2 – Your favorite character

I grew up in a small, New Jersey town known as Smithville, which is historic, quaint, and brimming with flesh-biting bugs in the summer. It’s the sort of place many know not, and I’m okay with that…mine forever more, as they say. I lived on a street that “ended” with two cul-de-sacs, and it was the kind of place where families raised their kids together at the same time, meaning I grew up with my neighbors’ kids at pretty much the same pace. We were all right around the same age, same grades, same what-have-yous. We hung out after school and on weekends, we went to planned BBQ parties, we fought with each other and made up, and had to deal with bullying and betrayal and boring bus stops in the morning. And through all of this was our parents, watching over, making amends, playing host to sleepovers and carpools, and one parent stands out to me especially in terms of today’s 30 Days of Gaming post: Mrs. B.

Mrs. B and her family lived directly across the street from my house. My family and hers were very close, as well as strangely similar in terms of kids; she had two daughters and a son, same as my mom and dad, and we were all pretty much four years apart too. We were destined to interact with each other. Anyways, Mrs. B worked the nights at the KayBee Toys in our local mall, and her son mentioned to me one day that she was able to get some great deals on the latest PlayStation games thanks to her employee discount. I believe he got Frogger 3D and Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater that year for Christmas. Luckily, I was able to work out a deal between my mother and Mrs. B to obtain a copy of Suikoden, a game coming out shortly before Final Fantasy VII that impressed me greatly from a preview article in some long-lost gaming magazine. As a youngling, I didn’t purchase many games so the ones i bought had to matter. I don’t remember where I got the cash from, but I do remember handing it over to Mrs. B with boyish excitement. And then I waited, and waited, and waited, and finally the game came back to me with a nice little note, too.

Suikoden is a game I can talk about for many paragraphs, but we’re not here to talk about the game itself. Instead, a single character from it still lives in my head, falling down countless times, truly living up to his Star of Destiny, churning my stomach into knots. Yup, my favorite character is Gremio:

Servant to the McDohl family after one of Barbarossa Rugner’s Six Great Generals, Teo McDohl, saved his life, Gremio helped raise the general’s son Tir. He ended up playing both the role of a servant and a parent since Tir’s father was constantly away and his mother died some time after giving birth. He becomes a permanent party member for much of the beginning of the game as Tir escapes pursuit and begins to build his own rebellion army. At one point, Tir and company rescue a famous doctor from the prison operated by Milich Oppenheimer, another one of Barbarossa’s Six Great Generals. Before escaping, Milich traps everyone in a room and releases flesh-eating spores, which threaten to consume the entire party. Gremio is able to open the door, granting everyone freedom, but then locks himself in the room, afraid to let the spores get out. Here are his final words to Tir:

“Young Master, can you hear me? I’m sorry I can’t protect you any more … But now that you’ve grown up, you no longer need my protection. Young Master…You make me proud. I wish Master Teo could see you now. Young Master. I think it’s time to say goodbye. I can’t see anymore. Young Master. I’m proud of you. Promise me you’ll always follow your heart. That is my first, and final…request…”

In battle, if Tir’s health falls too low, Gremio will actually protect him from further damage by using his own body as a shield. Outside of battle, all the way to the end, he continued to protect his young master, no matter what the cost. It’s no wonder why Gremio is the Tenei Star (Heroic Star). What’s really sickening is that Milich can be recruited after all this to join Tir’s fight in the Gate Rune Wars.

Aerith’s death in Final Fantasy VII did not affect me as much as Gremio’s did. Both were surprising, sure, but his more so. It did not feel like a “great character death” sort of moment, just another prisoner rescue mission. I even remember loading him up with the best items before getting ready to leave the prison, only to not have lost just him, but everything he was carrying. Tir already loses his father early on in the game, and then shortly after he loses the man he called both father and friend. Suikoden is all about tragic losses actually.

I didn’t find out that Gremio could be resurrected before the final battle for many months. To do so, you simply have to recruit all 107 other Stars of Destiny, which, at the time when there was little Internet access and only magazine features to go off of, was very difficult. But I did it, and seeing him and Tir reunite just as the emotional cup overflowed really cemented his potency in my mind. It only made defeating Barbarossa all the more sweet.

Gremio is the sort of character easy to bond with. He’s caring, careful, and stubborn where it counts. He also makes a mean special stew. Thanks, Mrs. B, for letting me get to know him, if only for a little while.

That 30 Days of Gaming meme coming to Grinding Down soon

It might come as a surprise to my many silent readers here that I don’t plan a lot of the content that goes up on Grinding Down. I don’t write drafts or notes as I’m playing games for later posting…I just think and then type up what I’m thinking about. Off-the-cuff is a perfect way to describe how this blog lives, and the only thing I do try to do is remain constant in my updating at least once a day, Monday through Friday. Not too hard, but there are occasional days where I do struggle with a topic to post about. We all feel, at some point or another, that we’re just rambling at a wall and stealing someone else’s oxygen/brain cells with our pointlessness.

Lately, I’ve been seeing a lot of fellow videogame bloggers doing a meme, a meme all about generating topics to talk about. Sounds good to me! So I’m gonna start this crazy meme next Monday and try my hardest to get through the 30 days as strong as possible. I will still, more than likely, take weekends off. But at least now, for the next 30 days, if there is ever a day where I’m drawing a blank, I know where to turn to: um, this blog post.

Anyways, here’s the 30 topic trains I’m going to be, just like Link in The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks, steering your way soon enough:

Day 1 – Your first videogame
Day 2 – Your favorite character
Day 3 – A game that is underrated
Day 4 – Your guilty pleasure game
Day 5 – Game character you feel you are most like (or wish you were)
Day 6 – Most annoying character
Day 7 – Favorite game couple
Day 8 – Best soundtrack
Day 9 – Saddest game scene
Day 10 – Best gameplay
Day 11 – Gaming system of choice
Day 12 – A game everyone should play
Day 13 – A game you’ve played more than five times
Day 14 – Current (or most recent) gaming wallpaper
Day 15 – Post a screenshot from the game you’re playing right now
Day 16 – Game with the best cut scenes
Day 17 – Favorite antagonist
Day 18 – Favorite protagonist
Day 19 – Picture of a game setting you wish you lived in
Day 20 – Favorite genre
Day 21 – Game with the best story
Day 22 – A game sequel which disappointed you
Day 23 – Game you think had the best graphics or art style
Day 24 – Favorite classic game
Day 25 – A game you plan on playing
Day 26 – Best voice acting
Day 27 – Most epic scene ever
Day 28 – Favorite game developer
Day 29 – A game you thought you wouldn’t like, but ended up loving
Day 30 – Your favorite game of all time

That’s a lot of musing. Are you stoked?

March 2011’s flotsam and jetsam

It seems like, at least a few times every year, I am a little overwhelmed with multiple games at once and little time to play ’em to their fullest. Such is March 2011 then, a month where I’m playing three to four new titles, as well as working on older games or miscellaneous purchases. Throw into the fight the fact that I’m also scrambling to get Supertown minicomics drawn and printed for MoCCA 2011, and well, yeah, there’s a lot to juggle. Here’s kind of a short rundown on what I’m currently playing:

Torchlight (XBLA)

Right. Diablo II on a console, but much more cartoony and fast. I’m digging it, and normally by now I’d have written up some early impressions of the title, but the truth is that I’m almost at the end, meaning all my big boy thoughts will have to wait for the final review. Still, I like a lot of it except for one big caveat–the tiny font size. And when a game stands on a mechanic such as loot, being able to read and compare magical spears is vital. I’m pretty sure I’ve sold a lot of excellent gear simply because I couldn’t read what it did or its requirements for wielding.

Pokémon White (Nintendo DS)

Only have two gym badges so far, but that’s okay. It’s not a race, no matter what my rivals say. I like finding a good team of ‘mon and then training them to be, roughly, around the same levels. Right now I’m rocking Victini, Snivy, Timburr, and Audino, and the other two spots haven’t been truly filled yet. I’m giving that trash bag Pokémon a chance though since many others probably won’t. Its Sludge move is pretty good. But man, oh man…it’s a trash bag?

Radiant Historia (Nintendo DS)

I was stuck for awhile in this one, unsure of which timeline node to jump back to, but Greg Noe steered me in the right direction. Now I’m working my way through the Closed Mine in hopes of learning a sword dancing move from somebody to help Stocke progress with a circus act in the alternate timeline. Yeah, it can be a bit confusing. Still, the combat is fantastic. Really do need to schedule more time with this one.

Fallout: New Vegas – Dead Money (Xbox 360)

Having now beaten this game twice, my second character, an evil woman named Zelda that loved hitting enemies with s-weapons only–sticks and shovels and sledges–was perfect for attempting the DLC add-on again. My first fly with Dead Money didn’t go very well. But it’s going much smoother now that I can handle the Ghost People more effectively, as well as heal better from radiated food. Just finished gathering Dog, Dean, and the mute. Now to get each of them where they need to be…

Penumbra Overture (Mac)

Started this on a whim, and have only played a wee bit of it, but I dig its mood and atmosphere and the way opening a drawer feels. Seriously. It feels good, true, like I’m actually doing it myself and not with a mouse. I would have loved to see this technique used more in games like Fallout, as it makes searching a room actually feel like searching. There’s a special kind of warmth that comes from opening countless empty drawers and then opening one to find batteries there, yours for the taking.

FlingSmash (Nintendo Wii)

Every week, usually Friday, sometimes Saturday night, Tara and I go visit her brother to play some videogames. We call it “games night,” and we focus mainly on all things Wii (but I swear to teach him Munchkin before too long). Wii Sports Resorts is so much fun with a good group, but two players had to share one remote, and I got tired of this after several weeks. So I purchased FlingSmash, which is basically a Wii MotionPlus controller ($40) with a game thrown in for good measure ($10). The game is just an excuse to shake the remote around, but I hope to examine it more closely soon.

::deep exhale::

Whew. Too many games. There’s the possibility that I’m not even writing about more.

Also, a friendly reminder that by the end of this month I’ll also be picking up Monster Tale and a Nintendo 3DS…so yeah, more to come. Woe is me? Naaaaaaaaaah.

Nintendo 3DS launch lineup launches itself into facepalmery

Launch lineups are pretty important. They are the weapons console systems wield to club consumers into submission. They are limelight dancers. They are reasons for being. And alas, for the Nintendo 3DS, the launch day titles are weak beyond belief, and all that hype over the Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time remake, Starfox 64 3D, Kid Icarus: Uprising, Metal Gear Solid something or other, and a new Animal Crossing game were just that, hype. Sure, they’ll be released eventually, but so will every other great game being created. What matters currently is what is available at the time of purchase, and brace yourself, dear Grinding Down readers, it’s not looking good.

First, let me say that I’m 90% sure I’m going to pick up a Nintendo 3DS. I have a Christmas bonus burning a hole in my sock drawer, and I think that the updated hardware is gonna be great. There’s built-in minigames, a camera, a music thingy, a Street Pass function, Mii maker, and plenty more. I’ve been wanting to upgrade to a DSi for some time, but this is a much better jump. As a glasses-wearer, I’m also downright curious to see this 3D in action and love the fact that it can be turned off completely. Most likely…it will. As for the games I want to play on it come Day One, well…

Here’s the three from Nintendo itself, and yes, you’ll notice none of the titles contain the name Mario:

• Pilotwings Resort – Set on the same tropical Wuhu Island from Wii Sports Resort, players go on an aerial adventure by using airplanes, hang gliders, and rocket belts.
• Steel Diver – This is…a submarine game. Players will control the sub’s speed, depth, and pitch, as well as fire torpedoes at enemies.
• Nintendogs + Cats – Pet sim. Now with bonus kitty action!

The rest of the launch titles for the Nintendo 3DS are third-party titles. See ’em here:

• Super Street Fighter IV 3D Edition from Capcom
• The Sims 3 from EA
• Madden NFL Football from EA Sports
• Pro Evolution Soccer 2011 3D from Konami Digital
• LEGO Star Wars III: The Clone Wars from LucasArts
• Ridge Racer 3D from Namco Bandai Games
• Super Monkey Ball 3D from SEGA
• Bust-A-Move Universe from Square-Enix
• Samurai Warriors: Chronicles from Tecmo Koei America
• Asphalt 3D from Ubisoft
• Combat of Giants: Dinosaurs 3D from Ubisoft
• Rayman 3D from Ubisoft
• Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon: Shadow Wars from Ubisoft

A lot of remakes and ported games. A lot of titles with 3D tacked on the end. Combat of Giants: Dinosaurs 3D sounds like perfect shovelware, and I can already see a hundred copies floating in those Best Buy “hey, whatever, man” bins they got from time to time. Yeah, it’s all a bit underwhelming. Go ahead and sit there for a bit, I won’t mind. I wonder who at Nintendo dropped the (Super Monkey) ball (3D) on this one? Tsk tsk. I mean, all we, as gamers interested in gaming, needed was one strong title, whether it be a new Mario sidescroller or maybe a different take on Metroid or Kirby or, y’know, one of those mascots Nintendo has in its vaults. But no, we’re reduced to slim picking.

So, which game am I gonna get to make my Nintendo 3DS even more enjoyable?

YOU WANT BREAD? NO GAME FOR YOU! NEXT!

I’ll just wait it out until the newest Animal Crossing drops.

Games Completed in 2011, #1 – Dead Rising 2: Case Zero

Developers: Capcom, Blue Castle Games
Publisher: Capcom
Platform: Xbox 360 exclusive
Genres: Action adventure, zombie slaying, survival horror
Modes: Single-player
Hours clocked: Roughly four to five

A five dollar videogame doesn’t sound like a good thing. I mean, I’m imagining getting something like this or this or even this for such a low price. I did not, in all honesty, expect to get something good, something fun–a game I’d replay three times without blinking an eye. And that’s Dead Rising 2: Case Zero for you, a bite-size Dead Rising 2 experience that does a great job of fleshing (puns intended!) out the gameplay mechanics of its bigger brother, as well as supplying its own unique story, location, and set of characters.

The hero of Dead Rising 2: Case Zero is Chuck Greene, a former motocross champion, and every hero has its loser counterpart, and we’ll call her Katey. That’s his daughter, and she’s sick from a motherly zombie bite, forcing him to scrounge for Zombrex to keep her human and alive long enough until he can figure out a more final solution to his daughter’s problems. The game takes place three years before the events of Dead Rising 2 in a town called Still Creek, which is brimming with the undead. Unfortunately, Chuck and Katey get stranded there, and his mission is to fix a broken motorcycle, keep Katey alive, save the town’s citizens, kill some zombies via inhumane weapons, and get out safe and sound with his daughter. This has to all happen within the time limit of one day, or else the military will arrive and take his daughter away to be, and I’m assuming here, beheaded and burned like the little zombie kids all are.

Bad news for Katey as this time limit took me by surprise, and I was unable to do the needful before the military came to steal her away. This earned me Ending D. What’s really nice is that when you “beat” the game, as I clearly did the first time around, you can replay it with all earned money, stats, combo cards, and Chuck’s PP saved. New game+ is always a good thing. Anyways, this helped greatly with my second playthrough, earning me Ending A. I then romped around Still Creek for a third time to mop up some Achievements, and this third playthrough was unique in that I actually got to experience saving the town’s citizens. Also, all PP is transferable for those moving on to Dead Rising 2.

However, most likely, I won’t be moving on to Dead Rising 2. Or the original Dead Rising. Or even Dead Rising 2: Case West. This “paid demo” experience was more than enough for me, and I had a lot of fun whacking zombies with spiked bats/throwing casino poker chips in their faces, but overall the gameplay would most likely get stale for me. I mean, there’s only so many ways to skin a cat  kill a zombie, and between that and the frustrating time limit/save system, I just don’t think a full zombie release is my cup of tea.

But yeah, for five bucks…or 400 Microsoft Points if you like to speak the language of global corporation domination. It’s worth it. So, instead of buying a sandwich from Quick Chek/WaWa/wherever today, I heartedly recommend downloading Dead Rising 2: Case Zero, and that’s saying a lot because I absolutely love sandwichs.

The Top 10 Games I Didn’t Get to Play in 2010

Well, another year is coming to a close, and this is the time I like to look back and see which games I wanted to play, but really never got to. This is because I’m usually always late to the party and am willing to wait out big blockbuster releases until they drop in price or GOTY editions are released so I don’t have to scrounge around for miscellaneous add-ons and such. Plus, I mostly play RPGs, meaning that I could potentially play a single game for a very long time (i.e., Fallout: New Vegas).

In short, 2010 was quite a year for videogames. Lots of AAA titles, lots of indie tryouts, lots of RPGs for handheld devices. I didn’t play many of them. Trust me, I wanted to. Oh so many of them. But there’s only so many hours in a day, as well as so many dollar bills in a bank account. Thankfully, I do have some Christmas money for GameStop, but I think I’m gonna actually save it for Radiant Historia, which comes out in February 2011 and looks to be right up my alley. Yay, another RPG to sink my teeth into!

And so, without any further fluffing, here’s the 10 games I didn’t get to play in 2010:

10. Shantae: Risky’s Revenge

Classic platformer gameplay and some of the most gorgeous looking animation work for a videogame–supposedly that’s what Shantae: Risky’s Revenge is. It initially didn’t jump out as me as something I’d like for my Nintendo DS collection, but I’ve seen its name constantly referenced over the last few months, in a good way, and now I’m pretty put off that I didn’t seek it out sooner. If anything, the Super Metroid-like map in the bottom right corner is appetizing.

9. Final Fantasy XIII

Now here’s something ironical. Final Fantasy XIII was one of my most anticipated games for 2010, and then it came out and I completely paid no attention to its existence for awhile. When I did start to read up on it, the news wasn’t good. It seems like the game didn’t start to get “good” until about 17 hours in, and that it was linear, town-less, and uninventive. A shame really, as I always used to want to play the next Final Fantasy game no matter what; going forward, I’m gonna have to be more cautious with the series.

8. Red Dead Redemption

I love the freedom and span of Grand Theft Auto IV. That said, I absolutely hate the story, its characters, and the frustrating-as-all-gets mission structure. A switch to the Wild West had me from the get-go, and it seems like a lot of cowboys and cowgirls really enjoyed riding horses and shootin’ vermin. Oh well. Maybe in 2011.

7. Heavy Rain

Sure, I’m not thrilled about a game that is brimming with mundane actions, but I love the suspense around the edges and the weight of one’s decisions and how they factor into the murder mystery slowly unfolding. Granted, a stupid message board poster already spoiled the game for me, but I’d still love to play it and see for myself if everything clicks.

6. The Lord of the Rings: Aragorn’s Quest

Shut up. I love anything LOTR-related.

5. Fable III

Fable III, like Final Fantasy XIII, was also a game I was eagerly anticipating for this year. Alas, it was released right around the same time as Fallout: New Vegas, and between those two, I’d rather shoot ghouls in the face than fart on citizens. And so the kingdom of Albion will have to wait.

4. Costume Quest

A bite-size RPG? And I didn’t gobble it up? For shame! Granted, this was released around the time I had just gotten married and gone on my honeymoon. It’s about kids on Halloween dressing up and turning into their actual costumes when it comes time to do battle. A fun, quirky idea, and it’s also been getting some DLC love as of late, which is good for the longterm.

3. Alan Wake

It’s been awhile since I’ve played a scary game, and so Alan Wake would be right up that alley. It’s also about writing. Well, a writer writing. A writer writing about a writer also writing about a writer. I think. I don’t know. This is just stuff I’ve heard. But I heard it’s pretty good. Reminds me a bit of Stephen King’s Bag of Bones, but only loosely.

2. Donkey Kong Country Returns

2010 was heavy on nostalgia, giving us games like the retro Scott Pilgrim VS. The World: The Game, as well as updated versions of Kirby and Donkey Kong Country. As an SNES kid, I was a Donkey Kong Country junkie. I played the levels again and again, learning all their secrets, trying hard to get that elusive 100% (or was it like 103%?). And so this new version looks to be much of the same, if a bit more difficult. Would be a perfect game for Tara and I to tackle together.

1. Mass Effect 2

This being #1 on the list will either make Greg Noe very happy or very angry. He loves his massive effects. Anyways, I did play through Mass Effect once, enjoying its story and world. The sequel came out and was instantly loved by fans. It seems as BioWare knocked it out of the park galaxy. The only thing that concerns me is that the RPG elements were turned way down for simplifying purposes. I did play Mass Effect 2‘s demo and had a good time, but now I think I’m just waiting for a Game of the Year edition to drop before Mass Effect 3 surfaces since there’s like 196 pieces of DLC floating around, and I’d hate to miss anything cool or stellar.

—

Okay, that’s it for the list. Here’s to 2011 and the games I won’t play then as well!

The Worst Box Art of 2010

If only everything in the world was beautiful. Alas, not all can claim such a stature. Especially not videogames. So I came up with a small handful of 2010 videogames with horrible box art, and you can see my delightful picks over at The First Hour.

Go read and tell me which one wins the ultimate Frown Crown!

PURCHASE OF THE MONTH: Dragon Quest Heroes: Rocket Slime and Final Fantasy XII: Revenant Wings

Woah, woah, woah…two games for the Purchase of the Month? Yes. Let me explain.

For about the past year or so, I’ve allowed myself to make one videogame purchase every month. This keeps my wallet safe, this keep my brain at ease during these crazy retail seasons, and this keeps this blog active and alive with new content–well, considering that I’m often late to the party and buy mostly “old” games these posts are not necessarily new content about new content, but new content nonetheless.

Also, a Purchase of the Month does not necessarily mean a top-dog, AAA product retailing for $60 or more. In fact, here’s a rundown of my purchases from this year, as best as I can recall or find out thanks to Grinding Down‘s search function:

• January 2010 – Nothing
• February 2010 – Dragon Age: Origins
• March 2010 – Pokemon HeartGold
• April 2010 – Borderlands
• May 2010 – Picross 3D, The Saboteur
• June 2010 – Rune Factory: A Fantasy Harvest Moon, Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars
• July 2010 – Limbo, Dragon Quest IX, LEGO Harry Potter: Years 1-4
• August 2010 –  Scott Pilgrim VS. The World: The Game
• September 2010 – Mini Ninjas
• October 2010 – Chrono Trigger DS, Fallout: New Vegas
• November 2010 – Dragon Quest Heroes: Rocket Slime, Final Fantasy XII: Revenant Wings
• December 2010 – ???

Hmm. Might have forgotten some XBLA titles in there. Now, of those listed, only a few were brand new retail copies; about 75% were purchased for less than $25 each, which I think is a great amount to spend on a videogame that may or may not give you a good amount of playtime. So, if I’m not looking for a big name retail game, I’m looking more for something in my secondary price range. The fact that both purchases of this month were released well over three years ago definitely helped with this–DQH: Rocket Slime was $6.99, and FFXII: Revenant Wings was $14.99. Perfect, I said to myself and not out loud as that would be a bit weird.

Right now, with the way life is–married, working, stressing, worrying, not drawing, not writing, worrying, worrying, wondering, sleeping more, band practice, worrying–it seems I have a lot less time for console gaming and much more time available for DS gaming on the go. These two games, plus the epic RPGs of Chrono Trigger and DQIX, should help fight back the lack-of-serious-Fallout: New Vegas shakes. I’ll also go into the reasons I picked each of these up in another post later on. Because, yes, I do have my reasons!

The Top Five Most Annoying Videogame Sidekicks

Two’s a party, three’s a crowd. And sometimes even two is too much.

Naturally, I’m talking about sidekicks, and more often than not, they are annoying and useless and just there to get in the way. I mean, how often did Batman really truly need Robin tagging along? Or Wolverine with Jubilee? Granted, those are comic book examples, and videogames handle sidekicks much differently. Often, they are used to help give a tutorial on gameplay mechanics, offer up possible sidequest missions (think about Ratchet’s Clank here), or are just there to chat and fill in story gaps with heavy-handed exposition.

So, as we close in on the time of thanks and giving, Grinding Down would like to spin the world the other way around and moan and groan about some of the worst videogame sidekicks out there with hope that they never come to our aid ever, ever again.

5. The Adoring Fan (Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion)

Meet the Adoring Fan. Amazingly, this guy is your “reward” for becoming the Grand Champion in the Arena. He’s nothing special. He just follows you around and lovingly praises you. He won’t fight by your side as even a single rat is enough to get him running away. His voice is the very reason there is terrorism, and one can find countless videos on YouTube of players pushing him off the land’s tallest mountain. Frustratingly, he does not ever “die.” If killed, he reappears at the Arena a few days later, ready to follow you again, whether it is to his death or not. How annoying!

4. Navi (a whole bunch of Zelda games)

I think many gamers would agree that a box of scrolling text would’ve been a much better choice as a companion for Link than a hyped-up fairy that never shuts its airpiece. I mean, they’d both accomplish the same thing, but one is less obtrusive than the other. I think I’ve mentioned here before that I’ve yet to actually play any N64 Zelda games (gasp!), but I got to partially know Navi through The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass, and the small time spent with it was more than enough to convince me that Navi is Satan’s child, all razzed up on speed and insanity and the power to cling and never uncling. How annoying!

3. Daxter (Jak and Daxter series)

My PlayStation 2 days were filled with platformers. A trilogy of trilogies, I guess you could say. They were the Sly Cooper series, the Ratchet and Clank series, and the Jak and Daxter series. Now, all of them had sidekicks–Sly had Bently feeding him advice, Ratchet had Clank and all his crazy gizmos, and Jak had Daxter who…did absolutely nothing. Except get himself turned into a chatty rodent through the power of Dark Eco. For the first game–and, well, probably the next two–Daxter did little but make small quips when Jak “died,” as well as start trouble during in-game cinematics.

Unfortunately, Jak is one of those silent lead characters, forcing much of the talk on Daxter. How annoying!

2. Stella (Dragon Quest IX: Sentinels of the Starry Skies)

Not to be outdone by Navi, here’s another annoying fairy, this one more of an actual fairy…if inspired heavily by the now out-of-date ganguro craze. She has a horrible flappin’ accent, only cares about herself, and is constantly berating our main hero, as well as her old boss fatguts. There is no good to her, and she’s there for the entire ride through Dragon Quest IX. Occasionally, she awards you Accolades, but that’s nothing to get excited about. If you tap her on the DS touchscreen, she does not explode into a thousand fairy pieces, only gets slightly miffed. How annoying!

1. Your Mother (Pokemon HeartGold)

She tries to do good. She really does. See, in Pokemon HeartGold, one can give your mother some extra money and, while you’re out combing through tall grass for every last ‘mon, she’ll buy you some items. And then call you to tell you that these items can be picked up at the local store. This might seem all cool and great at first, but it’s only after awhile do you realize that the items she is buying you are stupid and a waste of money, and that it would break her heart if you told her to stop, considering it’s all she can do for you, and so you let her waste your earnings. It’s hard to even ignore her phone calls because…well, it’s a call from your mother. You can’t ignore something like that. How annoying!

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P.S. This top five article was inspired by this early morning tweet.