JUST BEAT: Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion

…and by “just beat” I mean I completed the main quest the other night. Let’s just say it was beyond lame. I have many reasons to back this up, but first, some backstory.

Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion is one of the games that led me to get an Xbox 360 (other key games include Fable II and Fallout 3), and I quickly immersed myself in Cyrodiil, honing my archery skills and sneaking through caves and ancient ruins alike to loot, loot, and loot some more. Upon first playing, I did the main quest up to the part where you return from Camoran’s paradise where I then gleefully wandered off to do sidequests and just explore. This was fun…for some time, but then my collection started to grow and I kind of forgot about Martin and Daedra and shutting down Oblivion gates. On occasion, I’d pop Oblivion back in and poke about for an hour or two. The last time I played the game before this past weekend was back in August. Er…yeah.

So yeah, I got motivated and figured I could complete the main quest at the very least if I buckled down and focused. Little did I know that it would involved little-to-none buckling down and zero focus. Ah, Oblivion, you lazy bastard. Grabbing Martin by his Sean Bean neck, I headed over to the Imperial City to re-light the Dragonfires and save Cyrodiil. This took less than 10 minutes. Here, I will give you a step by step:

1. Introduce Martin to some dude
2. Fight off a few Daedra that interrupt us
3. Move to the next zone
4. Fight off a few Daedra that interrupt us
5. Move to the next zone
6. Run past the Daedric Prince Mehrunes Dagon without incident
7. Control is taken away from the player and you watch as Martin turns into a dragon-bird to destroy Mehrunes

LESS THAN TEN MINUTES.

Probably the lamest aspect of this final main quest is that you are not playing at the end. You are watching. Or maybe you are not and you got up to pee or something. That is reasonable. The fact still remains; just when something large and epic is finally happening in Oblivion, you are put on pause, you are asked to stop role-playing, and you are forced to watch a stilted, turn-based battle between bird and demon-beast. It’s so anticlimactic that I can’t even imagine what other possibilities they threw away before going with this one.

I dunno if I’ll go back again and finish up the different guilds and expansion packs any time soon. It just seems kind of fruitless, especially after all the Fallout 3 I’ve been playing. Those quests offer both awards and gold, something severely lacking in Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, and even though each game had problematic endings, at least Fallout 3 was able to undo it and move on.

JUST BEAT: Prince of Persia

Developer/Publisher: Ubisoft Montreal/Ubisoft
Platform: Xbox 360
Genre(s): Action Adventure
Mode(s): Singe player
Rating: Teen
Time clocked: Definitely less than 12 hours according to the Speed Demon achievement

To start, I had mixed feelings over 2003’s Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (for the Playstation 2). For one, I absolutely loved running around and bouncing off walls and performing some serious parkour. But the fighting/battle system was terribly unforgiving despite the time mechanic which allowed players to rewind scenarios if they didn’t play out like they wanted. When I’d enter a room full of baddies, I’d groan, and the only way to hear happy noises from me was to get out of said room so that I could run around. But these memories were enough for me to steer clear of the next iterations in the series, which I’m glad I did because I’ve only ever seen them described as gothy and emo. Hmm…

But then the series got a reboot. A colorful one, at that! Prince of Persia for the Xbox 360 tells a typical story: boy meets girl, girl needs saving from overpowering god of darkness, boy saves girl but not without sacrifice. More specifically, the Prince and Elika must travel to a bunch of lands within her kingdom and heal them to keep Ahriman trapped within a giant tree.

While the plot itself is fairly yawn-yawn, the dialogue is a treat, as is Prince of Persia‘s utter lack of interest in spoon-feeding the player. At any point during gameplay, a player can push a button to have the Prince speak with Elika. What spews from their mouths depends on where they are and/or what just happened, and it helps to make both characters fun and engaging. You’ll really feel like they have a tag-team relationship going on by the game’s end.

Graphically, the game is gorgeous. The corrupted lands are bleak and dirty, ragged with oozes and chipped stone, but once they have been healed a wash of color spreads and we’re treated to a lush, vibrant playground. Some might not like cel-shading in this day and age, but I think it has the potential to be even more amazing than photo-realistic games like, say, Final Fantasy XIII or Gears of War.

Unfortunately, not all is bells and whistles. If Prince of Persia is to have a fault, it is in its repetition. The balance of acrobatics, combat, and puzzle-solving is just that: a balance. You will run and climb your way to the corrupted land (acrobatics), possibly solve a riddle (puzzle-solving) to get you to the next level…where you will fight a mini boss (combat). Rinse and repeat. There is little variety, especially when the mini bosses all have a pattern to them. After the lands are healed you can spend time hunting down balls of light, but you really only need to find 600 or so to complete the game, and I don’t I’ll go back and find all 1,001 of them.

Achievement-wise, Prince of Persia seems fairly forgiving, especially since you can’t die (more on that in a second). I unlocked 35 out of 60 on my first playthrough, none of which required too much skill. A majority of story progression-based, some involved special tactics against the mini bossess, others were more about collecting. My favorites were Improvisor (10G: Congratulations, you used the environment to your advantage.) and Precious Time (10G: Congratulations, you know when to stop.).

That said, I will never achieve Be Gentle With Her (100G: Elika saves you fewer than 100 times in the whole game.). Technically, the Prince can’t die…but I died a lot in this game. Missed jumps, timing off, QTE jitters. I’m pretty sure Elika saved me at least 500 times or more. A moot point, but I’m a little put off by the fact that the achievements all use the same picture and word “Congratulations”…feels a bit robotic if you ask me.

In the end, the reboot works though. It’s a much more colorful and lively game thanks to the graphics and voice acting, even if it gets stale rather quickly. A little more variety would’ve been nice especially since it was billed as having “open-world gameplay,” but for $20.00, I had a good time. You might, too.

7 out 10

JUST BEAT: Assassin’s Creed

Developer/Publisher: Ubisoft Montreal/Ubisoft
Platform: Xbox 360
Genre(s): Third Person, Action-Adventure
Mode(s): Single player
Rating: M
Time clocked: Not sure exactly, somewhere around 15 hours or so

The Basics
You are Desmond Miles, a bartender kidnapped for his memories. Conversely, you are also Altaïr, an assassin stripped of his rank and forced to earn his place back in the cool club by eliminating a number of targets that are somehow involved in the same plot to obtain a “piece of Eden.” It’s all very mysterious stuff, and you basically just told what you’re told (“Go to sleep, Mr. Miles!”) until you can begin to piece things together for yourself.

The Good
The graphics, namely those of the cities you’ll visit and explore, are simply stunning. The cities and their streets and their rooftops and shadows and little dirt-covered crevices—they all just look absolutely gorgeous. People walk through the street with lifelike fluidity, and the small sounds of chatter or a pot breaking really do add to the world.

Free running is a blast, and it works out well just about 90% of the time. Once the guards knock you down and have you surrounded, there’s really no chance of escaping without doing some good ol’ sword-swinging.

The combat system (at times) is fun. You have a variety of options: take guards out ahead of time with throwing knives, do a low-profile kill with your hidden blade, or duel it out with swords, countering as you go. This, however, is not button-mashing combat, and if one isn’t careful with their timing, they can find themselves getting slaughtered easily. But once you find your rhythm, taking out an entire circle of city guards is both exhilarating and nerve-wrecking.

The Bad
Unfortunately, Assassin’s Creed is a lot like the directions for shampoo. Once the game gets going, you are sent to one of the main cities—Jerusalem, Acre, or Damascus. After sneaking inside, Altaïr must find the local assassin bureau where he’ll get his first clues about the mission. After that, there’s some eavesdropping, integrating, and pick-pocketing…once enough of these side missions have been done, Altaïr is then given the option to terminate the latest target. Kill him, and head back to Masyaf for some talking until you are thrust back to another of the Holy Land’s cities. And that’s it.

The Fugly
It’s annoying to have to do the same thing over and over again; it’s even more annoying when the said same thing offers you nothing new. I saved every single citizen being bullied by city guards, and about 50% of them told me they’d run right home and the other 50% said that all the city would know of my good deeds. Neither of these claims really solidified. What would’ve been nice is if my actions led to something. For instance, maybe extra guards get posted in areas where I saved someone, or a single citizen (maybe the saved citizen’s brother?) would help me in a fight or something like that.

Speaking of worthless, there’s the flags. Fun to stumble upon, a pain to fully track down, and they exist only for Achievements-sake. Again, if they did something for Altaïr (like letting him run faster or fall from greater heights) then they’d serve a point. Alas, they do not.

Lastly, there’s the “ending” to talk about…what a disappointment. I was just as dumbfounded as Miles was after seeing that weird vision and writing on his bedroom’s walls. Granted, Altaïr’s storyline came to a sound and understandable conclusion—why couldn’t Miles? After the credits roll, we’re given control again and can wander around his confined cell for clues, but there’s really nothing else there. A shame, as I wasn’t even sure if the game was over at that point, but I guess it was…

The Overall Vibe
Assassin’s Creed is a game that should be played though not entirely to its end. Visiting your first city and running along a stream of rooftops is a sure-fire blast, but once you beginning to see the game as nothing more than the same ol’, same ol’ it loses its charm fast. There are some great moments here, but it takes a bit of grinding to get to them. The “ending” is a complete letdown, nothing more than a lure for those hungry for Assassin’s Creed II.

7 out 10

JUST BEAT: Musashi: Samurai Legend

Developer/Publisher: Square Enix
Platform: PS2
Genre(s): Action Adventure/RPG
Mode(s): Singe player
Rating: Teen
Time clocked: About 22 hours

The Basics
Though claiming to be a sequel to the charming and fun action RPG Brave Fencer Musashi that was released for Sony’s PlayStation in 1998, Musashi: Samurai Legend is anything but a trite re-imagining of what was once charming and fun. The story starts off with Princess Mycella summoning a hero from another world in order to help save hers. That hero—hapless and helpless as he is—turns out to be Musashi, who takes on the training of Yoda Master Mew in order to rescue the princess back from the evil hands of President Gandrake. Also, he needs to collect the legendary five swords along the way.

The Good
If anything, as an action RPG, Musashi: Samurai Legend does offer a solid amount of action. Each spot on the world map offers tons of enemies to slice apart or learn techniques from, with also a splash of platforming and puzzle-solving thrown in for good measure. Musashi himself can learn a number of special attacks, but it’s mostly hacking and slashing and occasionally blocking for him as he pushes forward. Some sections really offer a lot of action with never-ending spawn points for enemies.

The Bad
As I recall, Brave Fencer Musashi was somewhat linear…but never to this extreme. You can’t get lost in this game, and there’s only a pinch of retreading familiar grounds (which are handed to the gamer so stupidly that there’s no point in even feeling proud when you remember you can now access a certain area thanks to your new “walk-on-water boots”). One task dropped upon Musashi’s feminine shoulders is that of rescuing 28 lost villagers…don’t worry, you’ll get them all as just about every single floating blue orb hosting a stolen soul is right along the main path. Way to make it challenging, Square Enix.

Also, every time you rescue one of the Mystics, you must carry her from the end of the level back to the beginning. While fighting off hordes of enemies. This, my readers, is complete bullshit and will most certainly have you grinding your teeth at the screen. The game is very repetitive in that sense, and even the boss battles become nothing more than “learn the pattern, attack here”. A little more variety and branching would’ve been appreciated, as would’ve the day/night cycle from the previous entry.

The Fugly
Where to start?

First, Musashi from Brave Fencer Musashi dressed the part of a traditional samurai, which made sense given that that’s what he was. Here, Musashi has changed up his style to be some sort of California surfer/drug addict supermodel with no money for a haircut. Is there a reason gamers need to see his midriff?

Second, the writing. It was either the writing or the voice acting, but since the voice actors are only reading what is written in their script, I went with the former. It’s bad, people. Overtly bad, especially when it tries to lighten the mood. Musashi attempts to sound tough, comes off cheesy. The Mystic of the Void tries to sound seductive, comes off cheap and whorish. Master Mew dramatically attempts wisdom and being wizened, sounds like a dying cat.

Third, the graphics. They’re not terrible, really. Not by PS2 standards at least. They’re just…so odd. Soft lighting, with thick brown outlines for everything, and no one seems to have noses. Think Dark Cloud 2 and every Impressionistic painting created. It’s like a re-imagined cel shading technique that, while colorful, really could’ve been a lot more. It seems most of the money was spent on the fully animated intro, which is ham-fisted and replete with words like legendary and power and fate.

The Overall Vibe
I will not lie. I got this game for $4.99, and when you pay that price expectations cannot be too high. Still, I was looking for something a little deeper, a little more fun and punny like Brave Fencer Musashi. The game’s not terribly tough or deep, and beating it allows one to start a new campaign+, which means nothing to me. I have no idea why someone would need to go through this more than once unless they really missed collecting digital playing cards of enemies and such. I won’t be going back.

4 out 10