Don’t judge Doritos Crash Course by the Doritos part

The holidays are almost here, and even the Xbox LIVE Marketplace is celebrating with gifts by giving gamers TWO free games to download: Doritos Crash Course and Harm’s Way. I’ll talk about the latter in another post as I’d like to focus most of my time today on Doritos Crash Course, a game that is sure to surprise just about everyone.

Doritos Crash Course is a bouncy mix of Wipeout, American Gladiators, and ‘Splosion Man. Yes, all of those. Lumped together. With bonus Michael Jackson dance moves added in. Basically, you have to get your Xbox LIVE avatar from one side of the screen to the other by jumping over ledges, swinging from ropes, dodging hammers, and bouncing on trampolines, as well as avoiding a bunch of other typical platformer perils, the most nefarious being water balloons. Oh, how I loathe ’em.

Unlike Harm’s Way, which more or less hands you Achievements on a silver Achievement platter, the 12 in Doritos Crash Course do require commitment. As of this post, I’ve gotten three:

That’s Gotta Hurt (10G): Got smashed by 3 hammers in a row

Roadrunner (10G): Run at top speed when you’re about to wipe out

American Hero (20G): Finished the USA Levels

Hero of the Americas is right! Hope to get some more Achievements tonight. A few require your avatar to do some silly in-game tasks; these are easy things like swinging back and forth on a rope X number of times, but they definitely slow you down and then your chances at the gold medal disappear. So I will save ’em for later.

Played a round online against some Xboxers, as well as raced against Tara’s avatar via local multiplayer. It’s a surprisingly well done game, with the constant threat of failure on every jump, swing, float, and bounce always overhead, and the controls are really tight. One doesn’t need supreme platforming skills, but if you really struggled with ‘Splosion Man then this might not be for you. But you should still get it anyways. Why? The game is FREE, packed with Achievements, too. So, yeah. Download it and have fun watching yourself getting smacked into the TV’s screen or doing a little dance–the avatar animations are the best use of avatars so far.

On a more personal note, I don’t really like Doritos chips. Not since that day way back in 2008 that I got violently ill after having some ranch-flavored ones with my lunch. I’ve vowed to never eat ’em again ever since…so when I say this is the most fun I’ve had with Doritos in a long time, I really do mean it!

Round one, fight–I mean, mash those buttons!

After getting some snazzy new haircuts on Black Friday, Tara and I headed over to GameStop to see if they had any crazy-as-crazy-gets deals. Well, they didn’t…just their usual “buy two used games, get one used game free” thing, and we’d been talking a bit about trying to find more two-player games for the Xbox 360 since it’s usually just me playing solo stuff like Fallout: New Vegas while she looks on earnestly. We browsed, I got hit on by an employee who was very impressed with my authentic Ravenclaw scarf, and then we left the store with three games in tow: Sonic’s Ultimate Game Collection, Street Fighter IV, and Dragon Quest IX: Sentinels of the Starry Skies.

Sonic’s UGC actually doesn’t have as many two-player games in it, but there’s a few good ones, such as all Sonic 2, Golden Axe, and all iterations of Streets of Rage. We played a bunch and got all nostalgic over the graphics and gameplay. Tara wanted a copy of DQIX for herself since each cartridge only has one save slot, and I was nowhere near ready to delete mine and make space; guess she’s seen me enjoying it a lot for over 85 logged hours now and suspects she’ll have a good time, too. Spoiler: she will! She’s gonna make me her priest character.

But we mostly decided on a new fighting game, as those are really easy to pick up and play together. I’m a big Tekken fan, much more than Street Fighter, but alas that series is still stuck on the PlayStation 3. We were not left with many other choices, and so we picked Street Fighter IV, not even bothering to “upgrade” to Super Street Fighter IV for like $10 more. Extra stages, colors, and characters are not that exciting in the end.

Early impressions of the game are that…well, it’s basically the same ol’ Street Fighter II we’ve all come to know and love, just with flashy graphics, some new moves, and really horrible cutscenes. I try to do special moves and cool throws, and Tara button-mashes her way to victory. We’re an amazing mix, and it’s a lot of fun–I’m looking forward to unlocking more characters though. To do that, however, one has to beat the Arcade mode with specific characters. That’s easy enough when you set the fights to Easiest difficulty, one round, and 30 seconds on the clock. Easy peasy…until Seth, that is. He’s the final boss, a sort of Dr. Manhattan wannabe with everyone’s special moves, and the spike in difficulty from him and the fight before is mountainous. Sometimes he clobbers me in a perfect round, and other times I can get a few hits in. My best strategy is to spam ranged attacks (like fireballs) and keep my distance. Which is why it is astounding to me that I was able to unlock this Achievement two difficulty levels higher:

Arcade Rat (20G): Clear Arcade Mode with 1 character on Medium or higher difficulty.

Not sure about a lot of the remaining Achievements. A lot involve grinding fights online. Hmm…

Oh, and we’re absolutely terrified of Rufus, but that’s an entire post in itself.

Clearing up the confusion between Radiant Historia and Radiata Stories

There’s a new Nintendo DS RPG from Atlus USA coming out in February 2011, at least according to a 1UP article, called Radiant Historia. I know nothing about it, but I want it, and I think I can sort of explain where this “do want” impulse is coming from.

It stems from a love/hate relationship I have with a rather unknown PlayStation 2 RPG dubbed Radiata Stories. Not really sure if these two are connected in the slightest; Radiata Stories was developed by tri-Ace and then published by Square Enix, and Radiant Historia is in the deft hands of Atlus USA. All previews go without mentioning a connection, but something about their names forces me to think of them as siblings–or rather just close friends. If anything, Radiant Historia is likened more towards that of Chrono Trigger, with its style and focus on time traveling. Oh well. Let’s sequeway back to that other RPG then…

Right. Radiata Stories. It’s a game my sister passed along to me after she found herself giving up on it; I think I gave her Dark Cloud 2 and Suikoden V to fix her RPG slump. I hope to one day get those babies back (are you reading this, Bitsy?). Anyways, Radiata Stories is a punny, action-based RPG, with a huge focus on character recruiting, kicking things, and a day/night system. You are Jack Russell, a fiesty teenager who just joined the Knights of Radiata to make his not-around-anymore father proud. Things go as expected until things go unexpectantly amiss, forcing Jack and his friends Ridley and Ganz Rothchild out of the army and on their own. Supposedly, it all eventually leads up to a point where Jack has to choose sides in a waging war; I never made it that far, and I’ve restarted my save slot at least three times.

Like the Suikoden series, the biggest draw here, for me, is in character recruitment. In total, 175 characters can be recruited and added to Jack’s friend list. From this, he can add them to his active party to help gain levels, money, and experience. Some characters are better than others, but the OCD nature of “gotta collect ’em all” is enough to get me scraping the bottom of the barrel in terms of strong, worthy fighters. It’s gets even more tricky though as some characters can only be recruited at specific times or places with specific people in your party. Others might give you a quest or ask that you visit them X number of times. It’s imposible to recruit everyone on one’s first playthrough, and if the Internet is to be trusted, Radiata Stories has post-game content as well as a new game+ feature where they allow all previously recruited characters to stick around for game #2. I want that so bad.

But I seem to lose steam and motivation in all three playthroughs right around the same part. Eventually, the plot will fizzle down slowly, and Jack is given freedom to do what he wants for a bit–explore the city, surrounding landscapes, level up, gather friends, and so on. This is where it all falls apart for me. I start gathering friends and quickly forget about the bigger picture, and after struggling to get some specific dudes, I put the game down and never come back. And that’s a shame. The three main characters are greatly designed, especially Ganz, and I’d love to know what happens with the main storyline more.

Maybe playthrough #4 should be a straight beeline to the end, with whatever recruited characters I can get easily. Maybe…

Anyways, this rambling post is supposed to be me about making a connection–if any–from Radiata Stories to Radiant Historia, and it seems like there isn’t one at all. Except for maybe some tri-Ace designers having worked on both games. Oh well. Still, I want to play both, each for their own reasons. Even though the battle system in Radiata Stories is lame and horrible. Here’s to some motivation to hook up the PlayStation 2 again…

Vaan doesn’t know the first thing about sneaking

Mission 3-2: Rendezvous Round Back in Final Fantasy XII: Revenant Wings really did a number on me. A bad number. Not necessarily 666, but something close to that in terms of cruelty and evilness. First, here’s the mission’s description:

After saving the aegyl, the party heads for the shrine holding the auralith, but a watch has already been posted outside! How does Vaan plan to sneak past?  

And the main objective:

Sneak into the temple; Vaan must survive!

What? SNEAK?! Am I playing Metal Wings Solid here or something? Don’t think so. This is supposed to be a RPG/RTS hybrid…you seen an enemy, you attack it until it is dead. ‘Nuff said. Anyways, Vaan is all alone on the map and must sneak past a good number of guards in order to make it to the shrine’s entrance. Okay, sounds easy enough. Map is pretty small. Nope. Took me FOUR tries to complete this mission.

First try, I walked straight down the map, hid behind a pillar, and, when the first guard was looking the other way, tried to rush past him. Got caught, started fighting him, died a sad, painful death.

Second try, did the same thing, but this time used some brains and applied Vaan’s spell Sprint to the equation. Made it past the first guard, hid behind a tiny airship before trying to sneak around another guard. Only when I went to move, Vaan went in the opposite direction I told him thanks to an invisible barrier and thus got some sword swipes to the face.

Third try, all of the above, this time waiting longer for the second guard to move away. Then it was a mad dash across the screen. However, greed took over, and I just had to open one of the numerous treasure chests on the map. Got caught, got killed.

Fourth try, repeated same steps as before, utilizing Vaan’s Sprint ability as much as possible. Skipped all treasure chests. Tried to sneak by two viera archers guarding the shrine’s entrance, but they discovered me, loosing arrow after arrow my way, and all I had at that point was adrenaline and speed…so I made a beeline for the flag, finally completing the mission with a sliver of health left.

Whew. Also: ASDFGHJKL.

This game was not built for stealth missions. The biggest hurdle is that, unlike in games such as Metal Gear Solid or Sly Cooper and the Thievius Raccoonus, there’s no indication as to how far an enemy’s perception ranges. Can that soldier see me walking towards him? Can the viera archers view me from afar? If I crossed the enemy’s path here instead of here, am I less visible? It’s a guessing game, in short. Try to sneak by and see if you have the luck of the Irish. Another problem falls on the touchscreen controls and speed that units actually walk at, but that’s kind of a muffin in comparison to the lack of stealth-like details missing from this mountain. Heck, even a simple ! mark above an enemy’s head when they’ve spotted you would help; I just rushed past enemies and had to watch them closely to see if they were following after me or not.

So here’s to me hoping that this was the one and only stealthy mission in Final Fantasy XII: Revenant Wings…

So far, a severe lack of Fran in Final Fantasy XII: Revenant Wings

Granted, I’ve only played roughly an hour and fifteen minutes of Final Fantasy XII: Revenant Wings so far…but come on! Out of that time chunkage, Fran was only on screen for about less than 60 seconds, uttering maybe two lines or so of dialogue. The Mist made her woozy. Yeah, it always does that! She’s allergic! Then her and ever-charming friend-at-hand Balthier disappeared from the story as Vaan and his cohorts went on adventuring and stealing an airship of their own.

As the only non-Hume character playable in Final Fantasy XII, Fran really stood out. Also probably because of the bunny ears, revealing outfit, long legs, and devilishly good lisp. Seriously, one could listen to her talk all day. Get that woman a phonebook to read from! She made playing FFXII feel like an actual fantasy game; sure, the other citizens of Rabanastre helped, as did magically ornamented locales and flying ships…but Fran, as a part of your active troop, helped seal the deal that you were on a quest of a special kind, with a special kind of people. Visiting her fellow viera in the hidden land of Eruyt Village was one of my favorite parts of the game.

And so, Revenant Wings is not doing her justice. Not one lick. Spoiler alert for an old game!

See, at the end of FFXII, it’s believed that both her and Balthier perished during the final battle craziness. That terrible thought was dashed as Vaan later learned–much later, like almost a year later–that the two partners-in-crime were still at it, and that they wanted to meet up to go treasure-hunting, thus giving us the starting point for Revenant Wings. This really short meeting of Vaan and his old friends lacks oophm; it’s supposed to be the first time they’ve seen each other in awhile, since one party thought the other dead actually, and there’s no reunion-like talk, no “hey, remember how Ashe was actually the main character and not you, Vaan?”, nothing; only tips on being a sky pirate from Balthier, a complaint about the Mist from Fran, and then a TTFN (ta-ta for now) if ever there was one.

In short: NEEDS MOAR VIERA LOVELINESS.

Getting closer to “beating” Dragon Quest IX…maybe

You know, I really am a crazy person to play three epic RPGs–Fallout: New Vegas, Chrono Trigger, and Dragon Quest IX–all at the same time. It basically means that I can only make tiny bits of progress on each of them, and that I want to play them all extensively, but I just can’t. There’s not enough time this side of New Jersey, and alas, it hurts, because all three are really deep RPGs with tons to do and see.

That said, thanks to some idleness over the weekend as Tara and I dog-sat Tucker and Chewy, I cut a bit deeper into DQIX. Finally completed the sidequest A Masky Task, which reads as so: Malinda from Stornway wants to see if you can make a malleable mask even more beautiful with alchemy. She said she would be happy enough just to see the result, but if you give it to her, she’ll swap it for a jaguarment. Sounds kind of easy, right?

Wrong.

First of all, I’ve had this sidequest in my log since the beginning of August, and it’s been annoying me since then. Had to look up exactly what was needed, and I found out that there was a lot of alchemy involved. As well as grinding for ingredients. I finally got the last set of butterfly wings needed this weekend, and ta-da, quest completed. My reward was a jaguarment, which I don’t think I’ll ever use. How wonderful!

[Some spoilers about final boss stuff coming up. You’ve been warned!]

That grinding did help though, getting three of my characters to LV 47, and my fourth, the priest, to LV 45. I figured that was pretty good for the final boss fight, and thus flew directly to the Realm of the Almighty to do battle with Corvus. He’s a Celestrian gone bad. Very bad. My first fight against him did not go well, but this second time, my team of four took him down thoughtfully and carefully, thanks to spells like Egg On and Multiheal. No one died, and we all lived to see another day.

That is…until Corvus sent a dragon after us! So, a second boss fight. Fine. That’s pretty much the standard with RPGs. The dragon itself wasn’t very challenging thanks to the fact that it did not use a lot of group attacks. He fell in due time, and again, Hadwynnn, Juniper, Tarla, and Kingsley all made it out alive.

Is it over now? Did I win? Time for cake and confetti? Nope.

Time to fight Corvus again. Only this time he’s mutated and taken on a new form. Evil form 2.0. And his attacks are extremely tough, much more damaging than before. Around 80 HP to 130 HP depending on what attack he chooses. Killed my priest really fast with a divebomb thingy, which left me struggling to keep it together. The fight ended as expected, with everyone’s name in red.

So, looks like I have some more grinding to do for money and alchemy items to make better weapons. I guess I’m going to try to wait until everyone is around LV 52 or so before tackling Corvus again. Hopefully by then, they’ll be rockin’ some crazy good gear, as well as some new spells. I’m pretty anxious to “beat” DQIX just so I can get to all the extra content I know is there waiting for me.

New friend request from Chocobo’s Crystal Tower

Many Facebook games pass me by day in, day out. I prefer it that way. I think the website did something recently to hide the thousand and one status updates pertaining to Farmville cows and one’s desperate plea for wood (::snerk::), which I’m eternally grateful for because you can only see so many of those before you begin to worry, not only about your sanity, but that of your friend’s. And when I did play a few Facebook games, such as Farmville and Pet Society, rarely did I ever choose to tell my friends about my latest in-game accomplishments. It’s not my style. I mean, I don’t do it with Fallout: New Vegas, rushing over to my laptop to alert everyone online that I completed the High Times quest and they should “like” this. No one cares.

And so it takes something special to get me into a Facebook game these days. Most are often click-spammers, lacking depth and forcing social interaction left and right. Thus, I was shocked to learn that Square Enix released two games for Facebook this week, both related to their Final Fantasy series: Knights of the Crystals and Chocobo’s Crystal Tower. I did not glance too long at the former title as it is very much a Mafia Wars sort of game, but the latter hooked me with its chocobo raising and RPGness.

I mean, the most fun I actually had in Final Fantasy VII was raising, breeding, and racing chocobos to obtain that ultimate summon spell hidden on a tiny island that only a special chocobo could get to. Took many long hours, as well as a strategy guide, but I did finally get it. And I ended up growing pretty attached to my giant magical birds, too.

So, in Chocobo’s Crystal Tower, which is currently in beta status, you raise chocobos on a ranch. You feed them, brush them, adorn them with adorable outfits, and, when they are old enough, send them off to a local tower to battle enemies, collect treasure, and gain experience. You can also breed your chocobo with other players’ birds. Everything takes time, which is fine, and you can spend your earned gil on decorations for your ranch, food, or special outfit items. The game also supports Achievements. It’s simple fun, with a cutesy art style and classic soundtrack; it’s biggest selling point is, naturally, hearing that instantly recognizable kweh! from your chocobo. Warms my heart every single time.

The game does a decent job of explaining most of its important parts to the player during the tutorial, but it’s a bit slow going, especially since none of my friends are playing it with me, and there’s some horrible load times as you switch between menus. I even got locked up on a loading screen and had to refresh out. Also, my current chocobo star Tiktok recently came back from a dungeon missing all of his gear (French hat, shirt, rubber boats), and I have no idea what happened or how to find out. Love throwing gil down the drain. We’ll see how long this one keeps me hooked…

Here’s the link to the game’s main page if you’re interested in giving it a shot.

BONUS QUESTION: How do you pronounce chocobo? Is it cho-co-bow or choc-oboe? Tara and I say it differently.

The time to time-travel in Chrono Trigger is now

I’ve played the first hour or so of Chrono Trigger at least five times total over these many years of mine. But that’s all I ever played. The first hour–waking up in bed, going to the festival, losing Marle to some time vortex, following after her, the trial, eventually ending up in the future, which is all about being post-apocalyptic and  tragic–is pretty dang near tattooed in my brain, and I have shoddy ROMs to blame. Yup, I used an SNES emulator way back when to catch up on some games I missed, and it seemed like every time I got to Arris Dome (or one of those domes) the ROM would crash. And so, I never got back from the future, and I’m guessing my in-game friends of Crono, Lucca, and Marle all died terribly of massive hunger and depression. Robo’s probably still there unless his robotic comrades turned him into scrap metal.

Hmm…no good way to transition from that.

Well, last week, during a heightened stage of insanity from wedding stress and worries about [detail redacted], I picked up Chrono Trigger for the Nintendo DS. It’s a cartridge I’ve been wanting to add to my collection for some time now, and I found it reasonably priced at $20.00. Even though it was a used copy, it still came with the poster that new copies were shipped with…so that’s nice. Granted, I won’t really be hanging it up, but bonus stuff is bonus stuff.

And the even better news is I’ve broken out of my Chrono Trigger slump. I’ve played about three hours worth of the game now and even made it to the end of time. Dun, dun, dunnn. From there, I time-traveled to the land of dinosaurs, which, if I may make the joke, is more accurately known as the land before time. I really do hope I can throw a Lightning Slash against Ducky “Bigmouth” Saurolophus because, as it turns out, one can only listen to her “Yep! Yep! Yep!” so many times. Lots of places to visit there, but no clear quest direction, and I’m not sure how to get back yet.

So I got some grinding to do though as these dinos are actually really tough against my LV 13/14s, and I have to wonder if I wasn’t supposed to go here first; I did head back to the original timeline beforehand only to discover the town and such overrun by goblins and beasts. Not sure what to do about that yet, but regardless, I’m just glad to be experiencing more Chrono Trigger than I ever did before.

Also, the normal day-to-day enemy battles are really tense, much more than any of the boss fights so far. I really like that and miss that feeling of uncertainty and timing and importancy on paying attention to health points and where the enemies are on the playing field. No offense, Dragon Quest IX, because I do love you, but I can just button mash my way to safety each and every time. Chrono Trigger is certainly a refreshing RPG experience, which is funny considering it’s 15 years old.

PURCHASE OF THE MONTH: Mini Ninjas

As of late, I’ve been craving some old-school style action platformer action first fed to me by games like Jak and Daxter, Sly Cooper and the Thievius Raccoonus, and Ratchet and Clank. Alas, the Xbox 360 is not really a great home to these kinds of games. It prefers shooters and…uh, shooter hybrids? Seems to be that way. Which is a shame. It’s not a dying breed, it’s just one that hasn’t gotten a lot of platform support (mind the pun there). For a bit, I really thought I was gonna be at a loss on what to look for…

But then I remembered playing the demo for a kid-friendly wee game called Mini Ninjas. And I had a fun time with it! I concluded my demo impressions then with the point that I’d not buy it if it retailed for $60.00, and unfortunately it did at its release time. Too pricey for my skin. But I’m a patient hobbit, and waiting is what I do best. Stopped by the local GameStop tonight after getting very depressed about packing up all my shtuff and got a used copy for $20.00, which is a much better dealio. The clerk though never heard of the game and had me repeat it for him like so:

GameStop clerk: Mini…Ninjas?
Me: Mini…Ninjas.

So far, I’ve played through the tutorial level and first level which has you rescuing a female ninja from a cage. The gameplay is varied and fun, and I get a kick out of putting on that huge woven hat or using it to float down a stream. The controls are solid, and I am kind of paying attention to the storyline…not really. Something about missing ninjas and an evil dude? Oh, and you get to collect plants to make items. Every game should have alchemy in it. Every. Single. Videogame. Yes, even you, Rock Band. Right now though I’ve more or less played the same parts that I got to play in the demo version and am looking forward to new terrain and troubles.

This be a Munchkinly post if there ever was one

I’ve played–and still play–a lot of card games. Magic: The Gathering, Lord of the Rings CCG, Magi-Nation, Star Wars CCG, and others. I have boxes and boxes of cards that I’m going to have to move real soon. Woo? Er, woo. Through and through, my absolute favorite is Munchkin, a card game that started out as just a parody of Dungeons & Dragons, but eventually became its own unique experience thanks to themed sets and multiple expansions. Of these sets, I’ve collected a good number. Still missing Munchkin-Fu, the Western one, Munchkin Impossible, and the newest trend of booster expansion packs (Munchkin Fairy Dust and Munchkin Waiting for Santa), but it’s mostly because no local shop seems to carry these booster packs. Insert baby crying sound here.

The last new core set for the game was Munchkin Booty, a pirate-themed adventure that is pretty much the favorite of my gaming group. It’s an easy one to learn, a lot of fun with the ye and arr a-plenty, and you gotta love sharks. However, it’s now been way too long since a new core set has come out so when news broke over the weekend about Munchkin Zombies…well, I got a little excited. Personally, I think Munchkin Braaaains would’ve made for a better, more inspired title, but that’s just me. And then snooped around the Steve Jackson Games website and was surprised to discover a bunch of new Munchkin products forthcoming. I wish they promoted these better as I had not heard anything about them at all until now. All are of the booster expansion pack style, which bums me out, but hey…more Munchkin never hurt nobody!

First up, we have another Christmas-themed pack to go along with Munchkin Waiting for Santa and the original core set. It’s called Munchkin Santa’s Revenge and here’s three cards to get you bouncing around like a kid on Christmas morning:

Hubba-hubba for the Christmas Wrapping!

Next we have a Space Ships pack for Star Munchkin, which is adding Ships, first made popular in Munchkin Booty:

Lastly, and this might be the expansion pack that gets me to order online, we have a new entry for Munchkin Booty called Fish and Ships:

Oh yes! I truly do love these expansion booster pack ideas. I only wish there was a shop to pick them up at; the local Borders and Barnes and Noble carry a good number of the core sets, but never any of the expansions. Oh well…there’s always Christmas!