FIRST HOUR REVIEW – Suikoden III

Hey, remember when I drank a bunch of Felix Felicis and found a copy of Suikoden III recently? And then remember when I told the world how scared I was to even play it? Well, I finally did it. Play, that is. For sixty minutes and then some. Even took notes. You can read all about discolored used game discs, getting lost in the smallest village ever, and duck soldiers over at The First Hour.

I’ve played past Suikoden III‘s first hour, too. Thanks to Sergeant Joe, Hugo was able to schedule a meeting with the people doing business in Vinay del Zexay’s council building, but we have to wait at least a day; until then, the capital is ours for the exploring, and it’s a pretty big place, with lots of shops and citizens to speak with. Alas, Hugo’s not rich, so there’s not much to do. I’m guessing at some point I’ll sleep at an inn and go back for that meeting. At some point…

But yeah. Again, please check out my coverage of Suikoden III‘s first hour from Hugo’s chapters.

The problem with too many quests and bosses that glitch in Skyrim

[Major spoilers abound for the following two end-game quests: Sovngarde and Dragonslayer. You’ve been warned.]

I completed Skyrim‘s main quest last night. It happened faster than I expected, and that’s a funny thing to say for someone whose only character’s save slot is just tipping over 60 hours of logged adventuring. But yeah. Read and weep:

Dragonslayer (50G): Complete “Dragonslayer”

Here’s how I operate within open-world games. I start out strong, following the main path and getting everything in place for the major events to happen. I do this for awhile, and I do this all as an upstanding guy, a goody two-shoes, a real hero. But then a scientist wants me to find out what happened to the plants in Vault 13 or some Krogans are interested in getting sushi from the lake in the Presidium or a deceased woman’s mother is looking for closure, something only I can provide–and that’s it. I’m gone for hours, days, in-game weeks. Maybe even months. I forget what I was once doing, and other tasks begin to pile up, constantly reminding me, constantly blocking out the past. At some point, the mental tug is too much, I just internally say okay, whatever and rush through the rest of the game so that I can enjoy my mindless wandering in peace.

So, I did that. I went to Sovngarde to search out Alduin, the World-Eater, and snuff his snout out for good. It’s a misty realm, brimming with legendary Nord warriors–of now and then–and to get into their Hall of Valor, you must defeat the gate guardian Tsun. Well, defeat isn’t right. Basically, you have to knock out at least half his health, and he’s extremely tough. Lohgahn, as a level 30 archer, had to rethink strategies and reload a few times because two hits from Tsun’s weapon was enough to trigger a kill-cam. I mention this because–and this is where concluding Skyrim gets truly sad–Tsun was harder than the game’s final boss. Which is a dragon that eats worlds. Yeah,  I know.

Also, the Hall of Valor was the glitchiest location so far. I stood in wonder as a goblet on a table popped in and out of existence. Same happened with parts of tablecloths. And if you looked out one of the windows and glanced down, it was just a wash of dirt soup. Maybe this was due to the fact that the hall is filled with characters, or maybe that latest patch did worser things.

When it comes time to fight Alduin, you get help. Three Nord warriors from the Hall of Valor join you, which is great as they draw Alduin’s attention away, giving Lohgahn plenty of time and space to cast Dragonrend and loose some poisoned arrows. But then, as Alduin’s health dropped below the halfway mark, I noticed something–he was stuck, his left leg deep beneath the ground, cut off in a crude way. And he wouldn’t turn around. I switched to my treasured Mace of Molag Bal and beat on his scales. The dragon never turned around to fight me. Maybe he was too distracted from the others, or maybe he was glitched. The underwhelming fight ended with Lohgahn returning to his perch and loosing a few more arrows. How terribly dull and ironic; Alduin never even knew the Dovahkiin was there.

Well, with that done I can get back to my disturbingly huge list of side quests and miscellaneous quests. There’s an old woman in Whiterun who always asks me if I found anything out about her son whenever I pass. I guess this is a quest I agreed to very early on in my playthrough. Unfortunately, I don’t remember why. Was her son kidnapped? Lost somewhere? Guess I’ll have to play detective and do a lot of searching through my lists to find the right one. That’ll at least get me on the right path, but the urgency is certainly gone, and now it feels like something Lohgahn’s obligated to do. Hmm…

In short, Skyrim‘s main quest is underwhelming, but at least now I can begin checking off my to-do list. If you beat the main quest, how did you find Alduin at the end? As tough as his name implies or easier than harvesting wings off a butterfly? Speak up. I’m curious to know.

Samus as she’s always been in Metroid II: Return of Samus

I made decent attempts at the original Metroid, both back when it was out on the NES via a neighbor’s system and many moons later with it in my pocket on the Nintendo 3DS. I absolutely love and continue to play Super Metroid to this day. I even had a GameBoy for a good chunk of my childhood–and yet, I missed out on Metroid II: Return of Samus. I blame Mario, naturally, and…um, more Mario.

As evidence proves true here, I’ve had $6.22 sitting pretty in my 3DS for some time now. Nothing has been released on the eShop lately that’s looked even remotely enticing. Okay, okay. Freaky Forms: Your Creations, Alive!–despite its zany title–seems like a good time. I had way too much fun making silly and weak creatures in Spore Creatures. So, maybe one day. But not today, or tomorrow, or the day after that because I’ve already spent my eShop money. Yup, that’s right. I did some pre-Black Friday shopping and bought Metroid II: Return of Samus on Thanksgiving evening, after a busy day of family, talking, not talking, and too much foodstuffs. It was a nice little distraction-limned treat for myself, and I crawled into bed, turned the heated blanket on, and began hunting Metroids.

See, in Metroid II: Return of Samus, you’re tasked with taking out Metroids. Thirty-nine of them, in fact, which is a weird number, but whatever. Maybe forty would’ve tipped the scales or something. This has to do with the fact that Samus previously prevented the Space Pirates from using the Metroid race for their own evil purposes in the original Metroid. Now, to stop another attempt by the Space Pirates, Samus has been sent to the Metroid’s home planet of SR388 to eviscerate every last Metroid she finds. That ought to do it, right?

So far, I’ve taken down two Metroids. Pew, pew, blam. The game plays just like Metroid and Super Metroid except it’s a lot less open and more linear, with very little back-tracking. Sometimes that’s okay. Still, there’s no map, and taking damage from even the minor enemies can be devastating. One nice addition that definitely inspired the save+health-restoring stations in Super Metroid are the inclusion of save spots and energy/missile-recharging balls, as well as the ability to create restore points via the 3DS. And speaking of balls, I was pleasantly surprised to find Samus able to roll into a ball at the start of the game; the new spider-ball ability takes a bit to get used to though. My suggestion for those stuck: try everything until it clicks. Y’know, like I did.

Other oddness includes Samus being huge on the screen, a severe lack of background detail, and less than stellar music. That said, it’s more side-scrolling Metroid-blasting action, and that’s really all I need. With the ability to save frequently and recharge health much easier, I suspect I’ll finish Metroid II: Return of Samus far sooner than ever completing the original Metroid. Watch out, you thirty-seven Metroids left! I’M COMING FOR YOU.

FIRST HOUR REVIEW – LEGO Harry Potter, Years 5-7

Too depressed to do anything other than link you to my coverage of the first hour from LEGO Harry Potter, Years 5-7. Tara joins in on the fun and makes some classy comments. Hope you enjoy!

The College of Winterhold questline is magically short

[Major spoilers abound for the following quests: Revealing the Unseen, Containment, The Staff of Magnus, and The Eye of Magnus. You’ve been warned.]

In The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind, the first quests I ever followed with passion were those of the Mages Guild. They were strange and varied, some even playing to my sneaky side with tasks like stealing gems or enchanted books from fellow wizards. Others had me gathering alchemy ingredients from just about everywhere. In The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, I started to do a bunch of quests during one of my few playthroughs, but never got further than getting in good with magic users initially, and judging from my experience with completing the Fighters Guild questline, I assume it’s going to be the same ol’ quest a whole bunch of times in a row. Not really interested in that. And then in The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, you do a handful of quests–albeit really long ones–and then it’s all over. I was honestly surprised last night when Lohgahn was presented as the new Arch-Mage of the College and given my own private quarters.

Let’s start at the beginning though. After getting into the College, you are tasked with exploring Saarthal, an ancient set of ruins that might have something mystical inside. You kind of go there to train with other classmates, but soon find a crazy, magical orb (as well as an extremely tough Draugr called Jyrik Gauldruson). As you begin to investigate and research this orb, another mage called Ancano becomes very interested in what you’re doing. Eventually, you learn that the Staff of Magnus can reveal the answers floating within the orb, the Eye of Magnus. You go out to find the staff, and upon returning to Winterhold learn that Ancano has turned traitor, released the power of the Eye, and must be stopped. Oh, and the Arch-Mage is dead. Zing! You fight off some truly annoying creatures called magical anomalies, and then, with the help of Tolfdir, take out Ancano for good. After the fight’s over, several members of the Psijic Order appear, congratulate you, and take the Eye away as it is deemed too unstable to be kept safely at the College.

Here’s two Achievements tied to the questline that I unlocked with extreme magic:

Revealing the Unseen (10G): Complete “Revealing the Unseen”

The Eye of Magnus (30G): Complete “The Eye of Magnus”

Oh, and thanks to all this sneaking around and loosing of arrows into skeletons, I managed to hit a new milestone in leveling up:

Expert (25G): Reach Level 25

But yeah, fun times at the College of Winterhold are over surprisingly fast. The questline consists of eight separate quests, but only three or four really deal with the major plot of uncovering the Eye of Magnus. A couple are lengthy affairs, and others are just about surviving a fight. I kind of expected a lot more, or at least more sidequests that played into advancing through the College. I guess I just got used to moving up in ranks from Oblivion, slowly but surely getting closer to the top. In Skyrim, it was like do this, do that, stop the evil, become the next Arch-Mage, and that’s it. Enjoy your new pad. Oh, I will. Looks like it’s filled with rare alchemy ingredients and soul gems. But is there anything else left to do at the College now? I’m thinking no…which means it is time for Lohgahn to find something else to do. Maybe the main quest? Naaaaah.

Being nice in Skyrim means even to Daedric princes

[This post contains spoilers about the quest called The House of Horrors. You’ve been warned.]

Last night, I did something horrible in The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, something completely out of character, and for it I was rewarded a crazy new enchanted weapon and the boost to cross over to level 15. Part of me feels bad for the role I played, Lohgahn’s polar opposite of being righteous and nice to everyone, but part of me understands that this is another’s life, a fantasy at that, and living a life is never predictable. I’m rolling with it, and so I’m Lohgahn, Dragonborn and overall nice guy who sometimes steals cheese wheels and does the bidding of a Daedric demon prince. I didn’t want to beat that priest to death; see, the voice above told to me.

Normally, with RPGs that let you be anyone from everyone, I’m one style through and through, with my first playthrough usually devoted to the role of a hero, a smiling lad (with a beard) willing to help out those in trouble, who would do every quest for no money simply because saving the world is truly what matters. My second playthrough is saved for being a jerk, stealing blindly from stores and murdering those that don’t like it. I try not to mix and match, but with that said, I also dislike reloading old saves if things don’t go as perfectly planned–the only time I do that is if I accidentally steal an item by pressing the button too soon before the cursor can hover over the person I want to speak with. That’s not my fault nor my intentions, but if a quest spins me on my head…that’s fine. Just let me know when it’s safe to get off.

I stumbled upon the quest The House of Horrors unknowingly, and after the first bits of it passed by I had a choice. Back away and pretend I never got involved, or follow through, with maybe a hope of turning the tide come the end. With this quest, the Dragonborn is tasked with finding a priest after discovering a Daedric demon haunting a house in Markarth. Molag Bal is all voice and no body, but what a voice he has–this is what drew me into the quest and, alas, kept me there. Mesmerized by his masochistically libidinous tone, I agreed to do his bidding. Anyways, you eventually lure this priest back to the house to pay for his crimes of tainting Molag Bal’s altar, and are then demanded to beat him to death. There were no other options. Beat him. Here, use this rusty mace. Beat him some more. Make him regret life. I did, but I didn’t like it. My reward felt somewhat sickening:

Daedric Influence (10G): Acquire a Daedric Artifact

It’s the unexpected like this that really make Skyrim shine. I mean, what does this mean for Lohgahn now? Is he going to slowly trickle down into darkness? Or is he only going to work harder to be a great dude to make amends? For my time in Skyrim so far, he’s been nothing but upstanding, taking down dragons (four in total), retrieving lost family heirlooms from bandits, and putting little ghost girls to rest. His only crimes so far have been small and unintentional, accidentally setting some guards on fire during a crazy chaotic dragon fight outside Whiterun. He’s not a servant of some cruel Daedric prince. He’s not.

Right?

I don’t really know, but I’m ready to find out.

Achievements of the Week – The Blessed Unbound Master Edition

It has arrived. The day is 11/11/11, and it is so much more than a Spinal Tap reference or a day to honor Veterans everywhere–it’s the day dragons awoke, the day I became a bearded man of import. Getting there wasn’t hard; Tara and I went to my local GameStop around 10ish, paid for my copies of The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim and LEGO Harry Potter, Years 5-7 (which I won’t be able to pick up until early next week) and then hung out on the store’s floor for a bit. We gamed on our DSes for a bit, but eventually had to line up outside in the cold as we drew nearer to midnight. Once the time chimed high, we were sent into the store in groups of six or seven, given our copies, and ushered out. The drive home seemed to take forever.

Got home, made my character–his name is Lohgahn, and he’s rocking some killer Wolverine-esque sideburns–and played until the intro tutorial part was completed. Then I saved my game as I was a truly sleepy bear, but woke up early this morning to continue bounding onwards. Have only taken a break to make/eat lunch and type up this Grinding Down blog post.

I’ve never waited for a midnight release of anything before, and it was a little interesting seeing what type of people came out for this event. Mostly young teenagers or kids just getting into college by the look of ’em. There was a group attempting to sing–to everyone’s horror–Queen. And then listening to them spew words about how dumb Batman ultimately is and what Final Fantasy is the best had me cringing a bit–is that what I sound like, just not out loud? Ugh…

Well, maybe more on that later. For now, here’s a rundown of this week’s Achievements. They all come from a single franchise.

From The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion…

Blah blah blah, who cares now. All hail Skyrim Achievements!

From The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim…

Unbound (10G): Complete “Unbound”

Blessed (10G): Select a Standing Stone blessing

These are probably the first two Achievements the majority of gamers will unlocked. The first one is basically tied to Skyrim‘s tutorial/intro level, and the second is obtainable by following your companion right down the main path a little ways. Can’t miss it. Unless, upon the game truly opening up for you, you headed left or right with such ferocity that you never found the easiest Standing Stone possible. Bummer to you.

The first few hours of my game have gone well, and I certainly didn’t see any crazy horse-on-carts antics, but knowing it’s a Bethesda game means it’s only a matter of time until the glitches start popping up. I did stumble upon one oddity. I was speaking to a woman inside her own home in Whiterun, and she was ready to give me a quest, but said it’d be better to talk to her in her home in case anyone was eavesdropping. We…uh, were in her home. Speaking to her a second time triggered the correct dialogue, but it was still pretty amusing.

And with that, I go back to make Lohgahn a better archer, a better necromancer, and a better thief. To arms!

Too many caves for the Fighters Guild to count

Molly’s been working like a mule as of late in The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, increasing two more ranks in the Fighters Guild. See here, non-believers:

Warder, Fighters Guild (10G): Reached Warder rank in the Fighters Guild

Guardian, Fighters Guild (10G): Reached Guardian rank in the Fighters Guild

Ping and ping. That’s all well and good, but to be honest, these last few quests have been a grind. An extremely bland one, too. All involved going to some cave marked on the map and exploring it, whether to find out what happened to so-and-so, escort so-and-so safely through, or simply murder a bunch of so-and-sos/escaped prisoners. In fact, the majority of quests for the Fighters Guild so far have been of this ilk, with the only ones standing uniquely being “A Rat Problem,” “The Unfortunate Shopkeeper,” and “Drunk and Disorderly.” Otherwise, it’s been this on repeat: tip-toe through a really dark cave that looks just like every other cave in the game, spam the heck out of Nighteye and Minor Life Detection spells in hopes of seeing something, and save frequently to avoid losing progress to quick deaths from unseeable tripwires and pressure plates. Not overly exciting stuff, and it doesn’t help that I’m sitting in a freezing cold living room, crawling through digital caves that look just as cold, if not colder.

But up two ranks means that I’m almost done with the Fighters Guild, right? Well, no, not exactly. The endgame of the latest quest got problematic. Seems like the mother of Viranus Donton, found dead in a cave, was not happy with the mission’s outcome. Did I also mention she’s Master of the Fighters Guild in Cyrodiil? Yup. So, she threw in the towel, firmly, firing Modryn Oreyn for his lack of winning. Molly was also reprimanded and demoted down to the rank of Defender. So, it’s more like, up two ranks, down two ranks. I gotta make good and climb back up the corporate ladder for the Champion and Master ranks, which means more cave quests. I think I will just grin and bear it though as I’d love to complete at least one whole guild before The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim arrives. Once that game comes out, I’ll probably forget all about its predecessor–the same thing happened with Fallout 3 once Fallout: New Vegas reared its shinier head.

I’ve already joked with Tara that I’ll basically stop playing Skyrim the way it’s meant to be played when I get my first cave quest. I’m sure my character will be content to just spend the remainder of his/her days in a safe, well-lit town, decorating his house and chatting with locals. Maybe he’ll start a spoon collection. Or just make potions and fancy foods, sunrise to sunset. Who knows. The realm is my oyster. It’s gonna basically be Animal Crossing: Wild Skyrim, and that’s fine. Unless, I dunno, the caves got a whole lot better in the fifth game or my bad eyes are perfected magically overnight. Let’s hope for both of those things, my fellow fantasy spelunkers. Let’s hope.

Monster Rancher EVO is for circus freaks only

I’ve never been to an actual circus before; all I know about circus life comes from secondary materials, such as the fantastic Mechanique: A Tale of the Circus Tresaulti by Genevieve Valentine or those few hours I spent wandering around the Circus Circus Las Vegas when I was 17 and on vacation with my family. In my mind, a circus is all of this set to accordions and applause: tumbling, dirty floors, spotlights, smoke and mirrors, tents, tension, colorful costumes, and gasping. Freaks of wonder, too, but I’d never call them monsters and raise them as my own. Not in real life, at least.

Well, Monster Rancher EVO is a videogame based around a group of circus performers. Don’t worry, I was just as confused you most likely are now. Granted, I went into this game totally innocent, completely untouched. Through all my years of gaming, I’ve managed to never play a Monster Rancher game. The franchise’s hook was always appealing–use CDs/DVDs to create random monsters for your farm, meaning a seemingly endless amount of user-created content–but the lack of a story or overall goal, other than raising an animal with love and care, kept me away. In fact, I didn’t pick this game out while perusing the local GameStop for my sweet, succulent Suikoden III; Tara found it and so it went with my buy pile. I didn’t give it a try right away.

It’s a rough first hour, full of bad dialogue and way too much information. You get to name the protagonist, but are given no solid indication that it is a he or she, and thanks to the anime-esque look to the majority of circus freaks it’s honestly kind of hard to tell. Naming him Pauly, I lucked out to discover he’s a dude. After that, you meet the gang at the circus and learn how sad the protag is over his latest monster’s lackluster performer. In walks a mysterious woman–I think her name is Marlene–and she teaches us how to make monsters. I put in my copy of Parklife by Blur and get some kind of weird pumpkin beast. Another guy talks about schedules and how to train to put on a great show, and then I’m given direct control of the protag. Tried to read the menus, but it was just an overwhelming amount of data and stats and things to come. Another character gives me a quest: she needs a cake, and even hands over the money to pay for it. Something like 500G, which seems excessive, but I don’t know much about this world; maybe that’s a good deal. I hurried over to the village in search of cake and made a beeline right back, but was told that I took too long and she no longer needed said cake. Eff you, and eff this stupid game. Power switch…OFF!

The cover for Monster Rancher EVO does convene its circus-ness, but I bought the game pre-owned from GameStop in one of those dummy boxes, which is void of pertinent details like that. Lastly, the artwork on the game’s CD limelights a woman in a slutty outfit. Do you equate fishnet stockings with monster-raising?

Also please note that she’s only wearing one fishnet stocking, with the other leg bare of such sexual dressing. Simply boggling. I don’t even know who this character is as I don’t think pointy-haired Pauly met her during the opening hour. I’d like to believe I’d remember something like that.

Right. Monster Rancher EVO. Don’t think I’ll be going back to this one, but if I could find one of the more traditional titles in the series I’m willing to go again. I mean, what else am I going to do with CDs like My Own Prison by Creed and Fairweather Johnson by Hootie and the Blowfish? Throw them out? That’s unheard of.

One-punch Pauly takes down Jaron Namir with ease

I hated the fight against Lawrence Barrett; I loathed the battle against Yelena Fedorova; and yet, to the surprise of me and all of y’all, I have no rage-inspired emotional response to the third boss battle against Jaron Namir. It was over too fast. I snuck up behind Namir as he was hopping over a wall, triggered the stealth punch button, and…punched his lights out. One hit, ten seconds…boss fight done. I have no idea if this is a glitch or if I’m a gaming god or ultimately if I was doing it wrong–whatever the case, I don’t care. The less time I spend on boss fights in Deus Ex: Human Revolution, the more I like the game.

Mmm-mmm good. I can hear Colonel Campbell screaming his name now:

The Snake (25G): You defeated Jaron Namir, Leader of Belltower’s Elite Special Operations Unit.

And here I was, all prepared and ready to spew hate upon hate upon hate over this third boss fight. Nope, not today. However, the game’s not over yet. Jensen still has one last mission to do. You know, save the world and all that. I’m excited to see the credits roll, and I think if you’ve been reading all my rants about this game lately you’ll know why. However, even on a second, shooty playthrough, I’m still going to one-punch Namir to death…unless it is a glitch and gets patched before that chance pops up again.

One-punch Pauly. He only swings once, but he makes it count. POW!