The missing videogames from E3 2012

Well, E3 2012 has come and gone, and the general reception to it as a whole has been…pretty lackluster. That no one company “won” or really brought out the big guns or even seemed to understand what to focus on. It all felt like padding and skirting around what’s to come and that there’s still no reason anyone should purchase a Nintendo Wii U or feel excited about Internet Explorer becoming available on Xbox 360 for all your non-gaming browsing needs.

A few new games got announced or shown off more, and that’s all good. Truly, many of them look like a whole bag of fun. I’m really interested in Paper Mario: Sticker Star, Scribblenauts Unlimited, Disney Epic Mickey: Power of Illusion, Assassin’s Creed III, LEGO City Undercover, The Last of Us, Dishonored, and Watch Dogs. Now, of course, I probably won’t get all of these games when they come out, especially considering some are for the PS3 or next-gen consoles, but they have at least got me thinking about them. Mostly the ones from Nintendo.

However, some games did not appear in any capacity, and that’s a little saddening. Maddening, too, considering a few are–to me, mind you–crazy big properties that could really have had an impact on an audience the size that E3 2012 draws.

Here’s what got no love this year…

Animal Crossing 3DS

Breaks my animal-loving heart, this one. It’s coming out this fall in Japan, which leads me to believe it’ll arrive in the United States by spring 2013, but man. This should have been a launch title. This should have be a post-launch window title. This should have been more than something kept in the shadows, let out occasionally to eat and breath. It’s a game designed around using your 3DS every single day. Think about that. It’s probably being held back to align with the Wii U–whatever, Nintendo.

Fantasy Life

I am really worried about Fantasy Life. It first surfaced in August 2009 with a really charming art style and the promise of living a typical life in a typical fantasy realm. Baker, merchant, priest…your call. Looking back at it now, I see Professor Layton’s London Life in a lot of those screens; unfortunately, that style was not to last, as the game got reskinned for the 3DS, looking different but still touting great gameplay. Nothing new has been reported on it for a long, long time, and so it might be dead and done. Boo.

Slime Mori Mori Dragon Quest 3/Rocket Slime 3DS

Boats. Boooooats! I’ve not yet completed my copy of Dragon Quest Heroes: Rocket Slime for the Nintendo DS, but the time I spent with it was a great. Light-hearted Zelda-like action full of puns and crazy tense tank battles. It’s a quirky game that truly deserves a sequel like this. Japan is getting it. Will the United States though? The silence is kinda telling…

The Legend of Zelda Wii U

Nintendo showed some demo-like stuff last year for a new Zelda game on the Wii U. You’d think that some 365 days later they’d have more to show or solidify with that project. Um…nope. New consoles from Nintendo live and thrive on new experiences from their constant standbys Mario and Link, and it just doesn’t seem like that’s happening this time around. Which is, obviously, quite worrying.

The Last Guardian

Guess the devs are still working on that pivotal cinematic scene where your birdy companion dies in a tragic way and somber music plays for two minutes while you use up every tissue within arm’s length.

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So, yeah. Hopefully more info on these games will pop up in other places this year. It’s just a shame we didn’t get much on ’em from the people working on them at E3 2012.

What were you hoping to see this year that didn’t make an appearance?

Everyone talks in the LEGO Batman 2 demo for the 3DS

Of all the LEGO videogames in my collection, I have to say that LEGO Batman is not my favorite. It was harder to get into due to not following a movie or comic script, as well as dealing with the fact that I’m no hardcore fan of the caped crusader and his many plights. Also, a lack of characters to play as–limited mostly to just Batman and Robin–was not made better by the inclusion of different wearable suits to solve puzzles. I played it, and I played it to completion back in August 2009, but that was the last time I touched it or thought about the black sheep in any great capacity.

Before I go any further, as a non-spoken rule when ever mentioning LEGO Batman, I feel like I must share this l’il comic I did many moons ago, which Tara was, by pure luck, talking about the other day. I think it hits the mark for all LEGO videogames, both past and those to come. Anyways, here:

Right. I mean, every LEGO videogame so far has its own brand of fun and excellent co-op moments, but if I listed them all in a High Fidelity sort of way, LEGO Batman would be at the bottom. If I remember correctly, you got to play as the villains for a bit after completing the game, but by then I was just going for 100% completion, so whatever.

Last night, while watching the Nintendo 3DS live showcase–which, mind you, neglected to give any love to Animal Crossing 3DS, a title able to sell millions and millions and millions–watchers were informed that a free demo for LEGO Batman 2: DC Superheroes was availabe on the Nintendo eShop. Off I went to use up my limited number of blocks.

Hey, true fact time: this is the first LEGO videogame I’ve ever played on a handheld. I know.

Right. The demo begins with a cutscene, and the first thing that jumps out is that all the characters now talk. Gone are the days when LEGO boys and girls would mumble and gesture their way through a scene. It’s a little weird at first, but the silliness is still prevalent in the tone of dialogue and antics of the characters. In short, you’ll quickly forget that they couldn’t talk soon after. There’s an award ceremony happening, and just before what’s-his-name can get some shiny trophy the Joker shows up with his motley crew to ruin the party. Bruce Wayne disappears while the Joker monologues, literally popping back into the room via the Batmobile. Then the game part starts and…it’s a LEGO videogame level. That might sound a little negative to you, quiet reader on the opposite side of this screen, but it’s mostly not. You punch stuff, you collect studs, you flip switches and construct things and switch between characters for different skills. I also had to do battle with Poison Ivy, The Riddler, and The Joker.

However, one aspect really stood out, and not in a great way. Since this is my first LEGO videogame on a handheld, I don’t know if this has been a series staple or if it’s new for LEGO Batman 2: DC Superheroes, but the actual earning of the esteemed SUPERHERO reward, which is given to players that collect a specific amount of studs in the level, is severely underwhelming. On the Xbox 360, it is presented with a nice-sounding boom and a flashing of the title across the screen. On the Nintendo 3DS, the words just quietly appear on the screen with zero pizzazz. All that work…slighted.

So, all in all, LEGO Batman 2: DC Superheroes is certainly serviceable, but I think I’m going to save my blue/purple LEGO studs for LEGO Lord of the Rings, which is more than likely coming out this holiday season to ride The Hobbit‘s curtails.

The Sea Will Claim Everything in its first hour of clicking

My dream goal would be to cover all the games that came grouped in Bundle in a Box‘s first package for The First Hour, but my time and sanity are running lower and lower with each new day in June that comes to pass. It really is amazing that I’m typing these words here at Grinding Down at all. If anything, I’m happy to report I played an hour (and then some more) of The Sea Will Claim Everything, a unique-looking point-and-click adventure game set in the fantastical realm known as the Lands of Dreams. Click that previously linked sentence to see how the sixty minutes went.

The sad news is that I dragged my feet with this review and the bundle is now over; The Sea Will Claim Everything will not be available for a little bit until Jonas Kyratzes can set up a webshop. So, if you are interested in it and didn’t purchase a bundle, you’ll have to now wait. Sorry, little dreamers.

But stay tuned, as I am going to continue to play The Sea Will Claim Everything and will let you know how it all turns out.

Building a bland city and not blowing up

Yesterday, someone called in a bomb threat to the building I work at. Not for my company, mind you, but one of the ones we share working space with, and so a little before lunchtime hit we all had to evacuate the building. This was signaled by a blaring fire alarm, and not knowing what I know now, I just grabbed my cell phone and headed outside. I left my lunch in the fridge, as well as my Nintendo 3DS and car keys on my desk. At most, I figured we’d be back inside within fifteen minutes or so. I learned my lesson.

But then fifteen-plus cop cars showed up, and numerous officers of the law asked everyone to move away from the building. Like, not in the parking lot, but maybe in the parking lot across the street. The roadways coming in and leaving the area were closed down, and cars in the parking lot were restricted to remain there. Some people managed to drive out to freedom and a place to eat foodstuff, but others were left standing across the street, huddled like cows, chewing grass and pondering life. Myself included, except I did what I always do, going solo and finding a tree to sit under by myself while I waited this whole “fire alarm” out in general curiosity.

After a while, as we are all wont to do, I began playing around on my phone to help pass time. Or at least distract me from my grumbling stomach. An hour had passed, and no one was still allowed near the building. Flashes of my lunch in the company kitchen tortured me constantly. Now, if you didn’t know, I don’t have an amazing phone–it’s the Verizon Reality–and I’m fine with that. My phone is a device I use in emergencies to call people, as well as text my wife that I made it to work in one piece. I have two full games downloaded on it: Final Fantasy and The Sims 3. So, I played a little more Final Fantasy, grinding my team of four up a whole level, but that eventually became stale. I began looking around the shop for something new, but nothing seemed interesting or worth the price.

Until I saw a game labeled FREE. It’s called Little Big City, and it’s basically the mobile version of CityVille, a game I played diligently for a month or so, but faded away from like all Facebook games. Like FarmVille, you click on things and wait for them to finish doing what they are doing. Every action is accounted for, and when you run out of energy actions, you have to wait until the bar grows again to do more. This doesn’t take terribly long, so one is constantly tapping and seeing results. It’s not the most amazing little game, but it definitely helped distract me from the cop cars zooming back and forth by or trying to listen in on their cryptic radio chatter. I planted a lot of blueberries, built some homes, played a “match two” mini-game after raising a park, and also created some city staples, such as a flower shop and bakery. Gone are the annoying parts of having to bother real-life friends for things like construction beams or lightning bolts, as Little Big City just gives you a handful of AI neighbors to help and poke when the time calls for it.

I do, however, have a major complaint, and yes, I am going to complain about a free game, so if you’re not into that thing, well…see ya. In Little Big City, you always have something to do. A list of missions is clickable on the side, and these exist to give you guidance, as well as reward you for doing big things, like constructing a City Hall. However, if you built a City Hall before you received the mission to build a City Hall…you’re boned. You either have to build a second one–which, as a city planner, makes no sense–or bulldoze the one you already built for a measly amount of cash and rebuild to complete the mission and earn the EXP and monetary reward tied to it. It’s madness, and it happened a lot. Like, I already made six plots for farming and then immediately after was tasked with making six plots. It’s like they knew. But whatever. Not everything can be retroactive, I guess.

That said, Little Big City did the job though and kept me going until we were finally allowed back into the building–somewhen around the 2:30 pm mark–and then I had to monster my lunch in a matter of minutes and get right back to work. Next time someone threatens to blow up the building I’m working in, I’m definitely grabbing my lunch, Nintendo 3DS, and car keys before getting the bleep out of Dodge.

To comprehend Fez is to comprehend one of life’s greatest mysteries

As you might’ve seen recently, I beat Fez. Just to clarify one thing–I did not beat Fez recently, only posted recently that I beat it. Clarity on that is important, as I’ve had plenty of time now to ponder and muse over the indie darling that demands scrutiny and dissecting tools to really get under its skin. Supposedly, that’s where things get interesting. Unfortunately, I wouldn’t really know.

Before I start, a note: since I’m not sure what is what in Fez‘s world of cubes and shapes and shapely cubes and how you interpret things, any of the below could be considered spoilerish. Read at your own risk.

So, I reached Fez‘s “kill screen” by using 25 cubes and 7 anti-cubes to open the final door. Thankfully, I was able to get enough regular cubes by finding my way into the sewers, which a high number of people seem to miss on their first run, and therein the connecting levels to them; otherwise, I would’ve really had to put my thinking cap on to obtain most of those anti-cubes in order to proceed. I had treasure maps and a sliver of an idea for a few of them–but my attempts ended all the same: spinning that room, checking that map, trying a few random button sequences, and moving along after too many uneventful minutes.

Anyways, here are the notes I took while playing Fez:

I think I got close on a few things, but, more or less, it all looks Greek to me. I did my best to avoid looking answers up online while I was playing Fez, but in the hazy days afterwards I did stumble across some clearer clues, and to be honest, despite being an editor for nearly eight years now and priding myself on knowing English and idioms and the way language works–well, I’d never have figured this out. I’m just not familiar enough with that phrase.

I skipped the bell. I skipped the clock. I skipped the pyramid sitting in water, which clearly had some kind of hidden door below it. I skipped that treasure chest just beneath the ground, the one where you could only see its silhouette. I skipped that room with all the doors. I skipped all those weird pillars that your floating glowthing guide would point out in wonderment. I skipped that weird door that only revealed itself when the sun set. I skipped a lot of parts that seemed important, but were undecipherable, and I’m okay with that. Fez really is two games in one, and I appreciate that there’s a crazy complicated child in it, but prefer the straightforward runthrough over it. The platforming is adequate and quite simple, but the experience of entering a door, finding a new level, and learning how to climb up it via spinning was quite relaxing…and rewarding. Mostly because when you collected a whole cube, glorious beams of light and sunshine shot out of little Gomez.

After the “kill screen” craziness is over, you can start a New Game+ to go and find those bereaved cubes and anti-cubes. I jumped in out of curiosity and played around with one of the new abilities you earn for finishing the game once. It’s neat, but I’m not sure how it’s really going to help unlock more cubes. And that said, I just don’t think I’m going to go after ’em. Fez was a great experience to play part in, learning and not learning and trudging through it stupidly, but now that I know a few things–not everything, mind you–it just seems less fantastical. I wish I could’ve figured it all out on my own, but I’m not terribly distraught that I didn’t.

An update from beyond the Wall

I am still here, you just can’t see me. Walls, they work wonders.

My absence on Grinding Down as of late has been both a choice and a consequence. My day job–which, if you’ve paid attention, is something I rarely discuss here on my videogaming blog–has turned the level of busy up to eleven, and I am trying my best to not go insane from it. The days are long and stuffed, and there is only so much quiet time, during which I’ve chosen to not spend writing silly words about the silly games I’ve been playing, such as Minecraft and Metroid Fusion and Rage and so on. Also, I have a secret art project in the works–and it’s a doozy. A lot of work on my part, but I think it’s going to pay off and just be fun through and through. “Like” my page on Facebook to find out more, as I’ll be revealing it very, very soon.

But I’m making an effort. See, this is efforting. I’m putting down my numerous thoughts to e-paper and publishing it for all of you to skim past. You’re welcome.

Yesterday, after work ended, I popped over to the local GameStop to see if they had that game that everyone was clamoring for on May 15, 2012. No, not Diablo III. No, not Max Payne 3. No, not even Akai Katana Shin. I’m talking about…Game of Thrones. Yeah, that’s right. It came out in all its quietness. The store had copies, just not on the shelves; they were behind the counter, which I found odd as I went to the shelves first and was surprised to not see them right underneath the NEW RELEASES sign.

Anyways, as it turned out, like nobody pre-ordered a copy–myself included–and so the store had a bunch of extra art books from Atlus to give away. That’s both awesome and sad, but whatever–I got my book, which is neat, if filled with some inaccuracies, like a picture of Jeor Mormont with the name Jorah beneath it. At least it’ll help me come up with some better clothing ideas for my drawings at All of Westeros.

The game itself…well, I will reserve a lot of judgment until I’m much farther in, but so far it’s been highs and lows. Game of Thrones is sick with a terrible case of tiny text syndrome, as well as a knack for using white font on light-colored backgrounds, making said font unreadable. The combat is surprisingly bland, like watching broken robots hacking and slashing until their commands run dry despite the promising look it presents. I do like a lot of the story bits, especially the Night’s Watch stuff, and the lore and tone seems to be right. I just wish I could read a lot more of the menus, but whatever. My fault for not having an expensive HDTV, right?

Some Achievements then after an hour or two of play:

Winter is coming (10G): Finish chapter 1

Family is hope… (10G): Finish chapter 2

Merciless (20G): Mete out 5 deathblows

The majority of Achievements are labeled as “secret” and hidden away behind locked text. I kind of appreciate that as it definitely helps to not spoil story beats. As someone who always peruses the lists of unlockables before playing, it’s nice to not know everything or even the hint of something to come.

All right. Time to go back behind stone and brick. Maybe I’ll resurface soon again. If not, knock the secret knock, and we’ll work something out.

Chundering in Trials Evolution and having a blast

A long time ago, in a blogging galaxy far, far away, I took on the challenge of 30 Days of Gaming, a then-popular meme that proposed one videogame-themed topic per day for thirty of them timesinks. It took me longer than that to complete, but that’s neither here nor there. Anyways, one of the topics asked about was guilty pleasure games, which I named as Pokemon White, but really it could be anything Pokemon-related. But move aside, pocket monsters, because there’s a new contender in the ring, and it has truly taken me by surprise. Trials Evolution: I feel weird playing you, but also am having a blast.

To start, I am no fan of bike sports. Sports related to bikes and jumping hills and going down ramps and all that jazz. Is there even a term for it? Motorcycling? Just bicycling? Extreme motocross? Yeah, I don’t know and am completely disinterested in actually looking it up; feel free to school me in the comments section below. As a youngling in middle school and early on in high school, I hung out with a group of friends that were a mix of skateboaders and bikers and stoners. I rode a bike, too, but nothing fancy and could only do bunny-hops or short distance wheelies. For me, biking was a way to get around Smithville, to WaWa and Willy’s house, not training for an Olympic event, and once I got to the point where I had friends with cars or a car of my own, I left my bike in the dust. So yeah, bike sports. They surely exist–as do I–but we keep to our separate paths these days.

But Trials Evolution is no mere sports simulation. It’s full-on crazy. You take control of a man on a bike, and your main goal is to get to the other side, where the finish line is. There are other goals, too, such as getting there with no mistakes or under a certain time, and depending on how well you do, you are awarded medals (bronze, silver, and gold). Earn enough medals, and you can then unlock more stages to play on. Shampoo, rinse, clean your armpits, and repeat. Or however that saying goes. It starts out easy and then gets sickeningly difficult. But deep in that difficulty is fun, with a true sense of accomplishment when you get to the end of the track with no mistakes.

I never played Trials HD, but I’ve learned quite a bit about this series from my short time with Trials Evolution: it’s all about patience and control. Every lean or slight twitch of the analog stick is more than enough to send your biker head over heels (or heels over head). Learning the looseness and tightness of each bike is vital to clearing a track with the elegance of a ballet dancer, and right now, I am mainly using the third unlocked bike. Don’t know its name, but it doesn’t flip when you hold down the throttle, something I appreciate. The Phoenix, on the other hand, is extremely finicky and must be handled like a tower of glass shards balancing on a paper plate.

But it’s this dance of balance and skill that makes Trials Evolution enjoyable in my eyes. Plus the crazy level design. Otherwise, everything else is not my cup of tea. For example, the opening rap track that plays before the main menu is upsetting and embarrassing, and I just cannot get excited about adding new accessories to my bicycle and tricking it out. I dipped into multiplayer, which reminds me of Excite Bike, but probably won’t get too involved there. And the level editor looks neat, but I have no time to comprehend its intricacies and will be content to just download new, highly rated tracks made by others.

Currently, I have over 100 medals and am trying to Gold some medium difficulty levels in hopes of earning enough to unlock the last set of challenges. Wish me luck, and don’t mind my grumbling. Once I get over that nastily placed rock and down the hill on my way to victory, I’m nothing but smiles and warm compliments.

Crash Bandicoot is the ruiner of all relationships in Felicity

Videogames are just the evilest. At least that’s what TV shows want to say, as every now and then an episode pops up to remind us all that these digital universes are gateways through Satan’s butthole and that they consume human life just as swiftly as someone falling into a woodchipper. I remember Full House doing it. CSI: New York did it with little intelligence or Googling. South Park did it with great jest when World of Warcraft was infecting fans left and right. And now, as of this weekend, I learned that Felicity–yeah, that show from 1998 to 2002 about a hairy girl going to college and finding herself–also partook in educating viewers on the damaging voodoo magic of controller-powered entertainment.

The episode “Crash” from Felicity‘s second season is described as so:

When Julie suggests that dating B-list people is a good way to get over her breakup with Ben, Felicity agrees to Prof. Sherman’s request to try dating her son David (Henri Lubatti). Meanwhile, Ben and Maggie (Teri Polo) shift to a more intimate relationship despite her concerns over their age gap; and Noel and Elena become obsessed with a video game.

See that last part? Yeeeeeah. The videogame in question is none other than Crash Bandicoot, the mascot that never came to be for the Sony PlayStation. It starts innocently enough and almost feels like a blatant advertisement for the game, with Noel gushingly playing solo, eyes wide and unblinking, remarking about how great these graphics are and how fun the game is and how much he ate up Super Mario Bros. one summer. Immediately, there are problems, with the constant habit of having gamers move erratically while being filmed, as if they themselves are dodging bullets or rolling boulders. Plus, the sneering from Elena is unfortunate.

Anyways, the other plots of the show move along with little interference. At some point, while Noel is on the phone, Elena picks up the controller and begins to play. When Noel sees this, he ejects, “You’re ruin my lives!” Which makes no sense as a videogame-related phrase and something a girl he is interested in overhears on the phone. Then he begins shouting at Elena to “repause” the game. “Repause!” he cries. “REPAUSE!”

Um…what? How about just “pause”? Sigh. And it gets worse.

After a really bad blind date, Felicity swings by Noel and Elena’s apartment only to discover them engrossed in the glow of the TV screen. Apparently, there were original plans to all go out, but now the two of them can barely mumble a response and Felicity leaves, but not before making a smarmy remark about “going outside” to her gaming friends. Eventually, the two of them get stuck on the final boss of Crash Bandicoot; Elena mentions she “knows a guy” who can help get them past it and grabs to the phone. The tips don’t help, and Noel ends up calling the guy a moron, which brings up tears and the revelation that the guy is no guy, but a seven-year-old kid, commenting again on the fact that videogames are just for younglings.

In horror, they turn the PlayStation off, and in the morning, Noel tells Felicity that he’s “too mature” for those things and regrets what it did to him and Elena. Sunlight warms their collective skins. Everyone’s diseases are cured. The horrible beast has been flayed. Cue happy song–something by Sarah McLachlan. The end.

Yeah. This was an infuriating episode to watch, to listen to. The way Noel talked about Crash Bandicoot was not even borderline close to how a normal college kid would talk about games. I would know. I did it all the time, with Final Fantasy X and Jak and Daxter and more being discussed amongst friends. You talk about them like you would a movie or a book or a class or a person or anything really. There’s no need to throw hundred dollar terms around or speak about processing chips. They are experiences, good or bad, and they can be shared without a feeling of shame, without rolling up excuses as to why I spent my Saturday night collecting the last Power Cell or whatever.

Ugh. I don’t watch much TV these days so I don’t know if the treatment of videogames has gotten any better. But in 1999, with Felicity, it was just the worst. Still not as bad as when she chopped her hair off though…

Hacking and slashing greatly outweigh looting in Hack, Slash, Loot

Don’t let the Skyrim picture above confuse you too much because I’m actually going to talk about a little unassuming game called Hack, Slash, Loot, which I got as part of a recent bundle from Indie Royal. Alas, that game doesn’t do well in terms of screenshots and me throwing stupid text over it, and so I typed in “loot” into Google and found the above. Such is the way the cogs turn behind Grinding Down.

But yeah. Hacking, slashing, and looting. The game promises all three actions, but really only delivers on two, and those two are technically interchangeable, which results in one out of three. I’m not a school teacher, but I know a few, and I can imagine the type of letter grade a score like that would translate into. Despite that and a few other major faults, there are parts that I really do like about David Williamson’s independently developed roguelike that skimps on graphics and strives for missed dice rolls. There’s just something really charming beneath its brutally difficult skin.

Hack, Slash, Loot begins with choices. You have to pick a class, and they range from a Human Saracen to a Woodland Elf Archer. I went with a wizard most of the time. Once you’ve decided who you are, you need to figure out what to do, and there are six different quests to pick from: Journey to the Kimon, Mask of the Boy King, They Dwell Beneath, Dark Hearts and Evil Minds, Battle for Stormrise, and Tower of the Magus. These differ in terms of conflict and goals, but you will ultimately end up in a dungeon, killing monsters and searching for stronger weapons and gear. And each dungeon is randomly generated, making every quest, every adventure, new and unpredictable. In fact, one dungeon spawned my character in a room with two monsters right next to me, which helped to earn me this Steam Achievement:

Wooden Spoon: Die in less than 20 turns

Sweet, delicious failure!

But randomness is good, and it’s one of the reasons that I can go back to Diablo II, Torchlight, Dark Cloud 2, and the grottos in Dragon Quest IX today, in 2012, and still have a fresh experience. The graphics are retro and not distracting, with sprites taking center stage, which makes exploring the grid-based map easy. There isn’t much on the map, just a few candles and coffins, but it all looks good and recognizable. Again, I’m a sucker for this kind of stuff, but gameplay will always trump graphics for me, as it has to be fun to play, otherwise I’m just wasting my days.

That said, there is little loot to look for and the difficulty of Hack, Slash, Loot is more than enough to put someone off–it’s pure frustration. Healing your character does not happen in a conventional way; there are no spells or potions to regain health; instead, you have to loot tombs for scrolls which, may or may not, heal your little hero. This makes taking on more than one enemy at once a very dangerous situations, and I swear my character misses more times than he hits. Same can be said with enemies. It is a lot of missed dice rolls, which does not make for exciting combat; it just then feels luck-based since stats are not as visible as they need to be.

I never really got far in Hack, Slash, Loot, but I had a good time clicking around and trying out different weapons. Ranged weapons like staffs and bows were better for staying alive longer, but it was only time before I ran out of health. It was something to do while hanging out in bed, dog-sitting and watching Frasier. I just might go back again and hope that the next random dungeon is better suited…

Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden is like a joke

There’s a new Indie Impression up over at The First Hour, and I participated in it despite my disinterest in all things basketball-related. However, Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden is more than an annual sports romp; it’s a fan-made, freeware sequel to Barkley, Shut Up and Jam!, which was, by all accounts, a traditional two-on-two street basketball simulator for the SNES. Except the silly minds behind it created something truly unlikely: a post-apocalyptic basketball RPG.

Um…

I didn’t understand it and never even got to see a turn-based fight. I shut the game down when I…well, you’ll just have to go over to The First Hour and do some reading to see where Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden lost me. I have to imagine one would have to have both an interest in RPGs and basketball to really enjoy this Frankenstein’s monster, and that person is not me. However, when they ultimately make Barkley, Be Quiet and Tee Off: Redemption…please, please, let me know.