Slowly making progress in Rage

I knew going in that I wasn’t going to love Rage, seeing that its focus is mostly on precise shooting and excessive driving, but I figured it would find a way into my heart through its barren, bandit-infested wasteland, crazy character designs, and handful of minigames. Alas, that has not been the case. Though I do totally dig some of these characters, like race announcer Jackie Weeks and the humming, hat-wearing Coffer. Talking to NPCs and watching their unique animations has been, surprisingly, the best part of coming out of that Ark so far.

Instead, it’s been a game I’ve picked up to play only three or four times since buying it post-Christmas, with a large span of at least a month between one of those sessions. Just hasn’t grabbed me like other games have. I know one reason why is because I’m more reluctant to actual do any story missions seeing as how the last time I ran out of ammo early on due to me lacking them shootin’ skillz, and that made completely that mission above and beyond the call of duty. For some, that’s probably enjoyable, but I just wanted to get to a town, talk to folk, buy some stuff, pick up miscellaneous jobs, and do some side minigames. Eventually, I got there, but meh. Two of the three games are annoying.

In Tombstones, you play a holographic sheriff surrounded by four holographic mutants who advance over the course of three turns. Each turn you roll four dice; crosshairs mean you make a kill, and skulls mean the mutants get one step closer to the sheriff. If you kill all four mutants, you win, and depending on what turn you kill them all, you will win higher amounts of money. It’s easy to comprehend, but all based around luck. There’s an Achievement for killing all four mutants on the first roll, which I’ve tried getting an uncountable number of times now. Grrr. Luck.

In Five Finger Fillet, you place your hand on a table and stab at the spaces between your fingers with a knife. Hit your digits three times, and you lose. The first four rounds are scripted and easy to get into the rhythm of, but the final round is random and fast and is driving me nuts. Especially since, when you cut one too many fingers, you have to start all over again from round one. Grrr. Fingers. 

Rage Frenzy, the minigame that got me over the curiosity line for Rage, is a turn-based card combat thing against an opponent’s deck. I’m still collecting cards for my deck, but this is the most fun minigame of the bunch (I think there’s a fourth I’ve not yet unearthed), requiring strategy and reminding me of the good ol’ Magic: The Gathering days.

At some point, I stopped playing silly fluff fillers with fellow Wellspring neighbors and went out into the wild to shoot some nasties.

Here’s what I’ve unlocked Achievements-wise since my last spurt of activity, which mainly stemmed from online multiplayer action:

Open Minded (15G): Get 10 Headshot kills with the Sniper Rifle

Gladiator (10G): Complete Mutant Bash TV in the Campaign

Arts and Crafts (10G): Construct 10 Engineering Items

Oh, and I found a Vault Boy bobble-head on the mayor’s desk in Wellspring, but there’s no Achievement for that even though there totally should be. Ahem.

Right now, I’m inside some bunker using speedy bomb-laden RC cars to blow up caches of…something. Man, I wish I paid more attention to what these characters were saying sometimes, but all I can do is pay attention to the way they move their arms or head while doling out a new mission objective. Hopefully it won’t be another month until I play again…

Games Completed in 2011, #38 – Half-Life 2: Episode One

Much to my disliking, I was unable to finish Half-Life 2 due to an annoying switch glitch, and had to move on to the next adventure in the series in a non-traditional manner, with large gaps jumped and story bits left behind. Upon starting Half-Life 2: Episode One, I was pretty confused plot-wise and spent the first hour or so trying to piece everything back together, much like Gordon and Alyx were doing in-game.

However, I think that was my favorite aspect of this bite-sized experience. Not that it was straighter, stronger, and had less driving sequences, but that it paired Gordon and Alyx together for nearly the whole time, and she’s one of the better AI companions I’ve had the pleasure of working with. Her dialogue is believable and delivered emotionally, and it made going forward a less lonesome affair. Plus, y’know…appropriately punny jokes. A digital woman after my own heart. Gameplay still involves shooting enemies until they fall down and solving some light puzzles, mostly involving the Gravity Gun. It’s all very polished, much like in the former Half-Life 2, but just condensed into a nicer-sized package, perfect for running through in a single afternoon.

I think it took me about four hours to complete Half-Life 2: Episode One, and those four hours were amazingly strong, save for a tiring elevator sequence that saw me trying and trying and trying over again to not let falling debris crush Alyx and Gordon to death. Eventually I solved it, but man–it took a handful of attempts. Otherwise, it’s generally clear where to go and what to do next, something I’ve struggled with in Valve’s games up to this point.

At some point, I’ll give Half-Life 2: Episode Two a spin. And maybe even see if I can get past that broken switch in the larger, original game. Maybe. I dunno. I really don’t want to play the majority of that game again, naming the driving sequences and shooting down those attack choppers. Seeing as the Internet is constantly salivating over any and every slip about Half-Life 2: Episode Three/Half-Life 3, of which are constantly turning out to be red herrings, I’m in no rush.

Also, this is the final videogame I completed in 2011, bringing the total number to thirty-eight. Not too shabby, I guess.

This fresh meat is Rage’s latest MVP

I’m still not completely enamored with Rage, which is somewhat striking considering its similarities to Borderlands and Fallout 3. Granted, it’s not exactly the same as those other games, but it has elements or an essence of, such as kooky character designs, a barren wasteland thriving with mutants and bandits, and the use of vehicles for getting from point A to point B.

Evidently, Rage also has some online multiplayer, and it’s on a separate disc, too. Split into two types, there’s the Legend of the Wastes co-op challenges and Road Rage matches. The former are specially created missions meant to be played with a partner, and the latter consists of racing around a map, shooting other players and collecting special nodes to acquire points and hold the lead. Chances are I’ll never get to play Rage co-op–unless someone reading this has a copy of the game for Xbox 360 and wants to be my friend, then please, by all means, message me (gamertag: PaulyAulyWog)–so I did some Road Rage matches for about half an hour, climbing from a Level 1 wasteland racer to a Level 4 wasteland racer. Woo. I also earned the following two Achievements:

Fresh Meat (10G): Complete a public Road RAGE match

MVP (20G): Get first place in a public Road RAGE match

The first one’s pretty simple, but let me tell you how I got the second one. Sure, there’s a story; there’s always a story. For Road Rage, I ended up getting into an online party consisting of two little boys (both Level 1s) and some male adult (Level 20). Yeah, it was a little awkward. Anyways, the first few matches consisted of the Level 20 guy murdering us; me, I was still learning the rules and how to play, and the kids, well, they were little kids, not too skilled and very vocal about it. Eventually, the Level 20 guy mentioned he had to use the restroom, but that we should continue with a match anyways. And so we did. The two kids, who I assume were friends, ended up getting stuck in rocks or the landscape right from the get-go, begging each other to shoot the other in hopes of respawning–which never happened–and so I was free to roam the map, collecting all the power-ups and points and killing an idle Level 20’s vehicle over and over and over. I won the match with ease and never said a word to anyone.

So, yeah, I cheesed my way to the top of a match, but whatever. I probably would’ve gotten it eventually, as Road Rage isn’t too difficult to figure out. It’s somewhat fun, but there’s not a whole lot of incentive to keep playing; leveling up earns new vehicles and weapons for these vehicles, but I did just fine with the little ol’ scout. You can also unlock new badges and skin jobs, but meh. Plus, and here’s where y’all can call me a whore, there’s no more Achievements left associated to Road Rage matches.

Back to shooting mutants badly in Rage and running out of ammo, I guess.

Games Completed in 2011, #33 – Deus Ex: Human Revolution

This took some time, but I finally got around to writing down all my multifarious thoughts about Deus Ex: Human Revolution, a game that did not turn out like I’d hoped. Head over to The First Hour to read, read, read.

It was hard to assign the game a numerical score, something I don’t like doing in general, but I think 7 gets the point across–by no means is this a horrible, excruciating experience. Adam Jensen’s journey through a bleak and fascinating future to find answers is quite good, but marred by many elements and too much frustration for players that enjoy going the ninja route. Re-reading, I see that I actually forgot to talk about some other things in the review, such as the hacking mini-game and the augmentation that lets Jensen read personalities and whether or not someone is lying (this was not used enough, honestly). Oh well. No re-loading now.

Actually, I’m hoping to not have to write about Deus Ex: Human Revolution for awhile. Kind of burnt out on it. As promised at the bottom of the review, I do plan to go through it one more time, guns locked and loaded, but with The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim and LEGO Harry Potter, Years 5-7 dropping in just four days, that might not happen any time soon. Fine by me, really.

Right, another game done for 2011. Oh, and thanks, Greg!

Crushing the White Legs never felt so easy

As y’all should know, I’m working on my fourth (but not final) playthrough of Fallout: New Vegas, with the focus being to side with Mr. House all the way to the end, as well as complete some miscellaneous challenges and unlock the final few Achievements just begging to be released before the next two months of intense, Skyrim-heavy gaming begins. With the following now popped, I’m only ten away from getting ’em all:

O Daughter of Babylon (30G): Crushed the White Legs.

Yup, I stored some heavy stuff away in Lucky 37’s Penthouse Suite and then took Rhaegar all the way to Utah’s Zion National Park from the Honest Hearts DLC. Only took a loading screen or two. He’s probably rode a dragon for most of the trip. My first time through I wrapped up the add-on fairly quickly, with my then Courier helping to evacuate the locales instead of fighting back. I didn’t save beforehand, meaning I couldn’t reload and go after the second method, which involves a lot of river-walking and shooting. And most of it wasn’t even done by me; for choosing the “destroy them all” path, you gain Joshua Graham as a companion, and he’s pretty wicked with his unique .45 Auto pistol–awesomely called A Light Shining in Darkness–so I let him do most of the grunt work, still earning XP all the way.

It was not very difficult and only took a few hours to breeze through. This is the easiest of the four DLCs, and unfortunately also the most uninteresting. I still found no reason to go exploring all the numerous caves, but I did complete a quest that I missed my first time through, helping a lost bighorner calf back to its mother. Other than that, I played through Honest Hearts exactly the same way, shooting more or less the same animals and hostile White Legs; there was only one strange happening, which involved exiting a cave and coming face to face with a giant green gecko with the power to swipe once and knock poor Rhaegar’s head off. Otherwise, not much else to report.

I emptied all of the end DLC’s lootbox’s contents into Rhaegar’s pockets and now he’s over-encumbered and far from home, but I’m hoping to make it to a vendor soon as those new GRA weapons are freakin’ expensive. Then, when stocked up, lighter in the pants, and rich, I’ll pursue some more opportunities across the Mojave Wasteland for those tricky new challenges and then make sure that the house always win.

This Mass Effect 2 Achievement certainly isn’t missing in action

I unlocked an Achievement before I even began playing Mass Effect 2, and this left me momentarily confused, wondering if I’d ever escape game glitches or if I was doomed to be trailed by them until biological aging takes me down into the dirt. I have Tara as my witness that this Achievement popped on the main menu’s screen after selecting to start a new game with my simian character from the original Mass Effect:

Missing in Action (5G): Save your crew from an overwhelming attack

Blinking back into reality, I then realized that my save data from when I gave the demo version of Mass Effect 2 a spin back in June 2010 had been accessed. That demo consisted of the very beginning stage, and then a stage much later in the game wherein Shepard and company were trying to rescue a biotic named Jack on some crazy, floating prison. I remember a message popping up that told me my data for the first chunk of the demo was being saved, but nothing further than that would get collected. Okay. So, in the demo, I saved Joker and as many crew members as I could as the Normandy tore asunder, earning me the above Achievement without it actually popping. Then, when it was clear that I had a full copy of the game, a year and some months later, the Achievement pops. Yet I still have to play through that opening part again because I loaded up an older Shepard character and not the one I used in the demo. Weird, but whatever.

Disappointingly, Mass Effect 2 suffers from tiny text syndrome, which the original game did not. Most of the dialogue is spoken, making this not a problem, but the dialogue choices left to Shepard are not said aloud, meaning a lot of squinting and sitting directly in front of the TV to make sure I’m going the Paragon route and not the dickhead one. And I can forget about actually using the Codex, which, like in Dragon Age: Origins, is just brimming with cool lore and details, but is no use to my bad eyes/lame TV. So yeah, that’s that.

Otherwise, it’s fun so far, with interesting characters and crazy-looking aliens. At this point, I’ve changed Shepard’s armor and casual attire, learned how the hacking mini-games work, and got a fast-talking alien scientist to join the cause to stop the Collectors. Seems like there’s plenty of others I need to recruit, and I’m looking forward to it. Not sure where to go next, but I’m sure Shepard doesn’t mind bumbling along across the galaxy; also, I totally forgot who I saved–and let die–in Mass Effect, so it was nice that I got a little refresher before the game began. Refreshers are great. Saves me time from reading wikias and getting spoiled prematurely.

Videogame genres I just can’t play

Obviously, readers of Grinding Down should know that I have a deep, unquenchable love for RPGs. They are my favorite type of videogame, enough so that adding basic RPG elements to other types of games is enough to get me drooling. But, for all my years of gripping a controller, there are still some types of games that don’t interest me and probably never will. Let’s take a look at them to see maybe why…

Tower/Defense

Set up a bunch of stuff and then sit back, staring at the screen as all the action happens without any more involvement from you, the player. Do this for a lengthy period of time, until waves of enemies stop washing over you. I don’t know. It just always seemed boring, and the majority of tower/defense titles feature top-down perspectives or ones with the camera pulled so far out that nothing can be seen. So there I am, waiting for stuff to happen, and then when it does, I can barely make out my units from the enemy’s. A resounding meh.

That said, I’ve still not yet played Plants VS. Zombies, which is purported to convert any and all haters of this genre.

Sports

Ha! If I don’t play them in real life, there’s certainly no enjoyment to gain from experiencing them digitally. Though I do enjoy a round of golf on my 3DS now and then. Very relaxing. Except when I double-bogey a par three. Then I get the rage sweats.

Realistic First-person Shooters

I believe my distaste for war shooters stems from childhood and my father. He’s a hunter, and raised me to respect guns. In fact, I was the only kid on my street not allowed to get a laser tag toy gun the year everyone was jumping off that bridge, and thus missed out on all the late night bonding with neighbors that is vital to a hermit-in-hiding’s upbringing. We used to go target shooting though, and I remember always holding the gun downwards at the ground, in constant fear of it ever discharging by accident. I only ever wanted to point at empty soda cans or paper plates with targets drawn on them, and even then I didn’t like the sensation. Realistic FPS games demand you aim at people and pull the trigger, and with ragdoll animation it’s all a little too life-like when they go down. The infamous “No Russian” level from Modern Warfare 2 is hard to even watch with no controller in hand. I’d rather take down aliens or monsters or robots with brains than shoot a fellow human being, armed or not, which is why some of my favorite shooters are Borderlands and Fallout 3. Surprisingly, not Halo; I don’t really get that series.

Racing

Most of my week is spent in my car, driving to, driving from. Granted, it’s not a race car doing 150 mph and taking turns like a pro–it’s a 2007 Chevy Cobalt for heaven’s sake–but it’s still driving, a foot on a pedal, pushing forward unemotionally. With realistic racers, you just drive. You go around a track X number of times and try to break a record. I prefer a little more chaos, which is why the only racing games I’ve ever enjoyed are Jak X: Combat Racing or Mario Kart. I can, however, appreciate how detailed these cars actually are in games like Forza Motorsport 4 or Gran Turismo 5; some of those replay might as well be broadcast on TV, as they are extremely hard to differentiate between real and computerized.

Tactical Role-playing Games

What? Wait, didn’t I just confirm my love for RPGs and anything with RPG elements to it at the beginning of this post? Yes, yes I did. Way to read, reader. But there’s an exception to every rule, and when strategy and grids and isometric camera angles are added to a RPG, the game changes dramatically. It’s more about where your party is placed on the playing field than the magic spell they cast or the armor they choose to don. I remember feeling so duped by Vandal Hearts for the PlayStation back in 1997, and have never really given many of games in this genre a chance. Recently, there’s been Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Summoner Overclocked, which I’ve struggled with.

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So, what game types can’t you play? Speak up below in the comments section and/or tell me what I’m missing out on by not giving Battlefield 3 a chance.

Second boss fight in Deus Ex: Human Revolution is worse than the first

I’ve not been enjoying Deus Ex: Human Revolution as much as I would like; on paper, everything sounds like golden mac and cheese, with plenty of sneaking and interrogating and unraveling and augments, but it turns out that playing it the way I like to play RPG shooters is probably not the best way to play it. Sure, it’s a way, but one easily described as elephantine difficult. I die a lot, I get spotted a lot, and I can’t read a majority of the emails thanks to tiny text syndrome, which means I only hack computers to gain XP for hacking, not for delving deeper in the world’s lore and bad grammar. It’s all a bit of a shame, but I feel this pressure to push on, to finish it, in hopes that I could play it again, this time with a run-and-gun approach, which seems simpler, but ironically safer.

The first boss fight in Deus Ex: Human Revolution nearly had me putting the game’s disc back in the box, the box back on the shelf, and the whole thing out of sight and mind. However, I pushed on, stubborn, and finally got through it. The whole thing was a disappointment, and I knew that more boss fights were to come, but a part of me assumed that maybe they got better, more varied, with some options still for pacifist players. If Yelena Fedorova is any indication, then no–they get worse.

Mute and augmented to the height of 6’7″, Fedorova is one helluva assassin. And if you want answers from Eliza, you need to take her out, which is no easy task. The boss battle takes place in a circular room, with an inner circle and outer circle. The floor is wet, not a detail to dismiss. Along the outer circle ring are four generators, which when destroyed send deadly electric zolts across the floor. If you were not playing the way I am playing, you could shoot Fedorova with guns, stunning her near the generators, and then explode them with more guns or grenades. If you have the right skin augmentation, you can take less damage from the electrified floor, otherwise you have to hop around like a noob on hot coals, praying your health holds up. Here’s the rub: I have no deadly guns and no skin augmentations. As a pacifist player, you have to hang around the generators and wait for Fedorova to charge at you, damaging the generator in the process. You receive damage from this, and then you also have to survive all the electrical damage. It’s tough. I tried numerous times, and the only solution was to switch the difficulty down to easy, which reduced the amount of damage Jensen took from the floor. Three exploded generators later and several popped painkillers, I got this:

The Mantis (25G): You defeated Yelena Fedorova, elite member of a secret mercenary hit squad.

During the first part of the game where you spend a lot of time in Detroit on the streets, I went after most of the sidequests before leaving the area and losing the chance to complete them. It’s the RPGer in me, having to finish up all those little mini tasks or at least see what they are about. Now, I skip them all and just want to finish up the main storyline as I’m so disheartened about my first playthrough (especially since I think I screwed myself over on the “don’t kill anyone” Achievement by using robots once) that I just want to see the whole story and then play it again very differently. Stay tuned for grumbling about the next boss fight, which I’m sure to hate.

Picus Communications employees don’t care about coffee

As a coffee lover, this post is gonna hurt. And contains some slight spoilers about Deus Ex: Human Revolution. But it’s mostly about spilled coffee. Prepare thyself…

After Jensen learns some unsavory things, he has Faridah Malik fly him directly to Montreal, namely the office headquarters of Picus Communications, where he’s hoping to find answers. Unfortunately, there’s no one there to answer his Qs. See, upon sneaking into the building, it’s quickly evident that all of Picus Communications is out to lunch–a really long lunch, that is. Phones are continuously ringing, the floor is littered with papers, chairs are knocked aside, and, most horrifying of all, coffee is spilled across many desktops. I counted at least six or seven battered cups, and there were probably more, but I didn’t examine every cubicle desk or office; some desks had filled coffee cups not knocked over, but the majority of Picus workers definitely whacked their hot drinks across the face before high-tailing it to an emergency exit. That doesn’t make sense to me.

Let’s recreate what happened at Picus Communications. Your name is Zack (male) or Stacy (female). You’re checking emails at work, sipping that delicious java, slowly waking up. Suddenly, without warning, the fire alarm goes off. Despite years of training for fire drills, you panic. Your stomach drops, and you frantically look to the cube to your right. “Zack/Stacy!” your co-worker screams, eyes wide with terror, driblets of sweat snaking down their face. “GET OUT NOW! THERE’S NO TIME FOR COFFEE, GET THE F*CK OUT OF HERE!” And then you made a mad dash for safety, with little to no care of how you placed your coffee cup back down. It totally spilled across your keyboard, but you don’t know that. You keep running, and you never look back. After all, you work for Picus Communications.

I spent a decent amount of time examining these coffee spills. They were all different, and in a game where one basement looks like that other basement and one warehouse looks like that other warehouse, this was appreciated. One spill even trickled down the side of a desk, as if aiming for the waste-bin, desperate to end it all. If this was Fallout 3 or Fallout: New Vegas, I totally would’ve picked up every discarded cup and deposited in the trash–or on someone’s chair, to teach them a lesson.

I really wanted to find some awesome screenshots of these coffee tragedies, but alas, the Internet let me down. And I don’t have software that can record my actual gaming. Shame. But maybe it’s better y’all don’t see what a bunch of weirdos do to their coffee cups upon learning it is time to evacuate. I know I’ll never get those images out of my head.

Games Completed in 2011, #29 – Fallout: New Vegas, Old World Blues DLC

First, some Grinding Down linkage as I’ve already written a bit about this third DLC package for Fallout: New Vegas. Go on and catch up; I’ll wait:

• Old World Blues is all talk, no action so far, and that’s fine
• Meet The Sink’s numerous personality modules from Fallout: New Vegas

There ya go.

After completing Old World Blues, I had decided that it was the vanilla game’s finest add-on, having not even played Lonesome Road yet at that point. With all four DLC now finished off, I can confirm that, yes, it is still the best of the bunch. Further proof: no other DLC to date dares call your fingers and toes penises.

Old World Blues begins with the Courier being transported to the Big MT research crater, a place thriving with robots and Old World mentality. A strange group of post-human researchers collectively known as the Think Tank take your brain out of your skull and then ask for your help. Cue Michelle Tanner: “How rude!” Off you go to explore the Big Empty, which is not as barren as you might expect, battle dangerous foes–such as robo-scorpions, nightstalkers, cyberdogs, lobotomites, and, if you have a certain trait turned on, one freakishly small, but deadly Deathclaw–and find the craziest equipment science can think up. It’s a grand ol’ time.

The DLC opens up with one extremely lengthy cut of chatter, but the writing and voice-acting make it worth sitting through. Kudos to Jim Ward, Cam Clarke, Jocelyn Blue, and James Urbaniak for really selling these robots as once human beings. After all that talking, the Courier then gets to go out and explore, but it’s no place to just go gallivanting about. Recommended for Couriers around LV 15 or higher, I found parts pretty difficult still at LV 28. Getting attacked by three nightstalkers is no walk through the park, and there’s a severe lack of available ammo to begin with; thankfully, one does eventually pick up the X-2 Antenna, a unique melee weapon that works wonders against enemies with either soft or hard skin. As you play, you’ll begin to upgrade the Sink, your home away from home, and the amount of new things is astounding; I now actively seek out random junk like cameras, hot plates, and irons because Toaster, which is an evil toaster, can break them down for me into microfusion and energy cells.

Both the DLC’s main quest and side quests are equally rewarding. “Picking Your Brains” is a side quest that has you talking to all the robotic doctors in the Think Tank, and while you may be tired of chatting with these super egos after the long intro, I suggest still doing it. You can gain some decent XP with skill checks, as well as early information about Ulysses and Father Elijah. “Field Research” will help make your biological research station and Blind Diode Jefferson even better–like that’s possible, you quip. “Sonic Emitter Upgrade” does exactly what it says on the tin, but it’s well worth the time as the Sonic Emitter is a powerful Energy gun that has a variety of mods to it, my favorite being Gabriel’s Bark, which rocks a unique “critical strike knockback” effect.

I’m hesitant to dive back into the Big Empty so soon on my fourth playthrough, but once I’m around, say, LV 20, I think I’ll risk it. It’s a pity to let such an awesome base go to waste for too long into Fallout: New Vegas, plus many of the perks gained from completing the DLC are important to creating a strong character. If there’s one DLC to get, this is it. Also raises your level cap by 5. Science!