That http://deckers.die glitch where the final boss simply disappears

At this point, I’m pretty sick of bugs and glitches ruining games I am playing. Of late, I’ve groaned about that weird door situation in Deus Ex: Human Revolution and that switch that wouldn’t work in Half-Life 2. Plus, all those strange happenings in Bethesda’s games–such as an Alpha Male Deathclaw randomly spawning outside a small town every now and then–but to be honest, those don’t bug me so much as I feel like they are part of their open worlds’ charm, and for the most part, those kind of glitches don’t actively stop me from playing. But the former ones did, or almost did, and it seems like my newest glitch find also wants me to stop playing Saints Row: The Third.

So, I’m on the http://deckers.die mission–yes, that’s what it is called–and it’s pretty whacky. You’re a toilet, you’re a sex doll, you’re a Tron-like wireframe silhouette, and you’re shooting down virtual reality bad guys like there’s no tomorrow. Also, at some point, you will play a text-based adventure game starring a unicorn, as well as an over-the-head tank simulator. Unlike any mission I’ve ever played before. Too bad I can’t complete it.

At the end of the mission, you come VR face to VR face with Matt Miller; he’s dressed like a reject from Final Fantasy VII and wants to do you much harm. You shoot him a few times and then there’s a quick time event to rip his angelic wings off his borrowed body–only, for me, there’s no QTE. My character says, “Oh shit!” and then Matt Miller leaps into the digital sky to completely vanish. I ran around shooting everything I could for ten minutes before I determined that, no, this was not how it was supposed to go down. Quit mission and restarted at my last checkpoint, but the same thing happened. Tried quitting the entire mission and playing it all over again, but alas, nope, same thing happened. Also, I’m not the only one suffering.

Seems like the only trick I haven’t tried yet is making a manual save during the mission, quitting out of the game, and then reloading said save from my crib. While that might sound ridiculous, I don’t have many other choices. I want to keep progressing in Saints Row: The Third, and there’s only so many side activities and collectibles left. Not sure if THQ is aware of the bug or not, but maybe a patch could help. It also seems like GPS is wonky too, only showing a short bit of green line instead of it fully with guiding arrows and such. Sigh. The life and times of big ol’ videogames.

And yeah, I’m aware of the irony that there are homemade glitches within the Deckers’ virtual reality setting, such as lag and reversed controls, and that this is just one more on the pile. However, it’s not a fun one. Wish me luck that the next time I take on Matt Miller and say “Oh shit!” it’s because I’m ripping his dumb-ass wings off.

Games Completed in 2011, #16 – A Kingdom of Keflings

I used to be a Command & Conquer: Red Alert junkie back in my high school and early college days, and much of this blame can go to my then best friend W. We would constantly challenge each other in races for single-player missions or go head-to-head in crazy, hours-long skirmishes. I rarely won, and the biggest reason most certainly was because I took too long trying to build my base up perfectly. The key word is perfectly, not perfunctory. W would build his base just enough to start amassing troops and heavy tanks and then swarm me as I was still trying to figure out where to place my Tesla Coils.

Thankfully, in A Kingdom of Keflings, I have all the time in the world to build my base–because nobody’s coming to attack me. There’s still the problem of building my magical kingdom perfectly, which quickly got away from me as I placed houses here and workshops there and my giant castle in front of a chunk of dense forest. But there’s no outside pressure; just soothing music (save for the banjo tune), a lot of back and forth, and a great sense of accomplishment as you lock in that final piece of a building.

I don’t really understand Keflings and where they come from or why they worship my giant Avatar so, but that’s all pretty moot in the grand scheme of things. They’re great help in mining for source materials or carrying them from one end to the other. And they seemed to like me, despite my constant kicking of them or taking off their hats. It’s a quirky mix for sure.

Achievements-wise, I got 11 out of 12 by the game’s end, most of which pop naturally as you progress through the many blueprints. The last remaining one requires me to host a multiplayer game and get ten other Xbox 360ers to join and drop a special banner down. I probably won’t ever pursue that one. You’ve played A Kingdom of Keflings once, you’ve played it enough. That’s not a slam. I enjoyed my chilled time with the game, just relaxing it up and going through the motions. But nothing different would happen in a second playthrough except maybe me trying harder to achieve the most perfect-looking kingdom. Alas, I know in my heart of hearts that no kingdom would ever be perfect enough for me–unless I can physically live there.

Spring draws near for my Xbox Live Avatar

Well, the weather is changing in New Jersey from cold to not-so-cold, and that means it is time for another update to Avatar Evolution. I switched out for some new digs, specifically a button-down shirt I’d sooo wear in real life, some khaki shorts, and moccasins. Also got a free grill prop. Turkey burger, anyone?

And that, dear readers, has been today’s exciting post about…digitial clothing.

Baby, it’s cold outside

Okay, it’s cold out. Very cold. So cold that I decided that, not only would I start bundling up more, but so would my Xbox LIVE Avatar. I only wish that we could choose different colors and dyes à la Fable II…because those red-and-white woolly gloves look kind of silly. In the end, it was all I could pick.

As is the plan, I’m going to continue tracking how my Avatar evolves over time.