First Aid Specialist in the House

That’s right, readers. I guess I can push Y like a true pro because I finally unlocked the following achievement last night:

First Aid Specialist (15G): Use medi-gel 150 times

Funny, considering that the previous achievement unlocked for Mass Effect was eight months ago and it was this:

Medal of Honor (100G): Complete Mass Effect Playthrough

Er, but yeah…all this recent excitement about Mass Effect 2 brought me back yet again. This time I saved more frequently because the biggest problem for me was I’d forget to save, go on these long planetary treks, and then get shot in the face and have to restart from the very beginning. If you don’t know what that feels like, stick a wrench down your throat and twist. You’d think Fallout 3 would’ve taught me more about frequent saving, but then you’d be assuming…and we all know you’re a monkey’s uncle.

Right, moving on. Finished up Noveria last night though with the turian Garrus and doofy-faced Kaidan. That was a tough section to get through. Frustrating, to get the wording right. I died twice just driving the MAKO to Peak 15, and then I further died six times trying to take down Benezia. Call me a n00b (editor’s note: please don’t). I was so annoyed by this that the Rachni Queen felt the full brunt of my frustration. Death to all hive-minded insectoids! Genocide FTW!

Not sure where I want to go next. Continue with the story to Feros or to find Liara? Hit the Citadel back up for those 1,067 sidequests? Explore some boring planets for things like minerals? Funnily enough, all the planets I want to explore I can’t, like the ones tinted blue from way too much methane. Boo to that.

Also, does anyone know if the achievements for biotic skills (i.e., Lift, Throw, Neural Shock, and so on) carry over into the next playthrough? I’m not actively keeping track of how many times I’ve used them, but between this playthrough and the previous one…I suspect I’ve Thrown enough Geth to get it. Seriously, I love Lift and Throw.

REVIEW: Serious Sam HD: The First Encounter

Developer/Publisher: CroTeam/Devolver Digital
Platform: Xbox 360 [reviewed], PC
Genre(s): PEW PEW PEW/Samicide
Mode(s): Single player/online co-op
Rating: M
Time clocked: Around 10 hours or so

Last week, I won a free download code from That Videogame Blog, and all I had to do was follow them on Twitter. My prize? Serious Sam HD: The First Encounter, a shooter à la DOOM that is hardly serious and was seemingly inspired by a combination of sugar rush speedtrips and masochistic tendencies.

I’ve voiced before on here that I’m just no good at first-person shooters. Let me clarify that more. Fallout 3 is the kind of shooter I’m decent at because it’s not really a shooter at all. I did moderately okay in the single player modes for games like Red Faction and Killzone, which were slower, zone-to-zone sort of adventures, and I have many fond memories of taking down Nazis in Wolfenstein 3D. However, scenarios where you have to be quick on your metaphysical feet and spinning like a madman while still shooting with precise accuracy as hordes of enemies barrel down on you—yeah, not my favorite dish to order.

That said, with numb hands, I recently completed Serious Sam HD: The First Encounter. It wasn’t a good time. Continue reading to find out why.

Still haven’t found what I’m looking for in Assassin’s Creed

So, over the weekend, I popped in Assassin’s Creed. I looked at this as my last attempt to play the game to completion (or, rather, the closest completion percentage I could obtain), and after plodding around on horseback and stabbing soldiers for nearly an hour or so, I unlocked the following two achievements:

Fearless (25G): You’ve discovered every Reach High Point.

Eagle’s Dive (20G): Nothing can hinder the descent of an Eagle. Over 50 people have fallen to your relentless attacks.

These will, most likely, be the last achievements I earn for the game. I’m at 37/44, with the final ones being the “kill every Templar” and six “find all the flags” type. It’s not that doing these tasks is impossible; in fact, there’s plenty of online guides and maps showing where everything is (I even printed one out for the kingdom)…it’s just no fun at all.

The problem sits in the game’s design. Unless you yourself are keeping track of everything, there’s no way of knowing how many Templars you’ve killed or flags you’ve collected in a specific area without killing another Templar and/or finding a new flag. This, gaming readers, is dumb. Especially when one takes a few months off from the game.

Coming back, I tried to use a map to make things easier. It didn’t. I instead found myself heading toward Templar/flag locations only to discover nothing there. Now, fine, I must’ve already collected them, but the maps are pretty big and it’s just frustrating to have to travel here and fro to maybe, maybe find what you’re looking for. At least in Prince of Persia, when one is collecting light seeds, it is clearly marked how many light seeds are left in the area, giving the player some guidance, a nudge, a “hey, look over here, silly” instead of forcing aimless wandering on them.

But I don’t have the time (or, surprisingly, the patience) to check every single spot in every locale again and again for something that I may or may not have already collected. If you do, feel free to come over. Key’s under the mat. Game’s all yours. Just don’t raid my fridge.

“Fortune and glory, kid.”

Just unlocked the last achievement needed to get a full Gamerscore for LEGO Indiana Jones 2: The Adventure Continues. Not a terribly tough climb considering I only got the game a few weeks ago. Sure, it took time, but there wasn’t any hiccups along the way. In fact, I was surprised by how few achievements one will unlock while playing the game normally. There’s some for beating hub levels and the “do X so many times” ilk, but the rest revolved around collecting a lot of studs to buy everything, replaying story levels (yawnsome at that point), and a timed level that just took practice to get right.

I’ve now unlocked all achievement for three games in my collection; they are all LEGO games. Go ahead and try to make fun of me in the comments below. Your words will never make it out alive.

Game to break the mold…Fallout 3, all achievements. I can do it, I can. Again…it’s more about time than anything else.

Feel the Wrath of Chickens, or The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past

It may sound funny, but one of my all-time favorite gaming memories involves chickens.

The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past is a classic. I don’t mean that in a way to say it’s old (it was released for the Super Nintento Entertainment System in North America in 1992; still a teenager, truthfully), but rather that it’s eternal. There’s moments and scenes in this game that can never be duplicated or truly re-experienced. From the rain-laden search of the castle grounds for a secret entrance to the first time you ever switched from Light World to Dark World and saw just how twisted the map screen became, it’s no surprise this game is on my gamers’ top fives, top tens, top fifties, top one hundreds, and top whatevers. It is simply great, with mindful pacing, brilliant action, tons of secrets, and…retaliatory chickens.

Yup, you read that right.

Shortly after you sneak Zelda out of Hyrule Castle and safely deliver her to the sanctuary, you’re given freedom as Link to explore the nearby lands on your quest to destroy Agahnim. One of your first stops will be in Kakariko Village, a colorful spot with lots of interesting characters and secrets to unearth, and there you’ll also find a few chickens hopping about. I immediately went over to one, scooped it up high over my head, and tossed it at the boy to no effect. Well, the chicken was pretty flustered and tried its best to stay as far away from me as possible. Then I remembered something I overheard at school, something about hitting them with your sword. A lot. And so I did. Slash, slash, slash, back that chicken into a corner, slash some more. Those kids at school were right; this is fun and funny.

But then it all changed. Out of nowhere, a swarm of chickens come flying at you to protect their fallen cousin from any more danger. They swoop down in a thrum of feathers and bah-clawk clucks, angry as chickens can be, and they actually damage Link. Only one way out, and that was to run. Once you’re a little ways away, the chickens relent, and you’re safe to wander back over…to do it all again.

There’s lot of other great moments in The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, but this is the one that makes me smile the most. The fact is, these chickens exist in this world just to be abused. I know PETA won’t like that. I’m sorry, but there’s no other reason for their existence, and even though the gameworld could ultimately go on without them, I think it’s better that they are there, now and forever, those classic little chickens that take a beating and keep on clucking.

9,000 Gamerscore, a billion more to go

I was going to wait until I crossed 10,000 Gamerscore to post about it (because it seemed like a nice enough number, lovingly round and a threshold of sorts in terms of e-peen and gaming prowess), but somehow…somehow I managed to unlock four achievements last night from both BioShock and LEGO Indiana Jones 2 that fortuitously brought me to 9,000 exactly. See?

I’m kind of amused by this. Most likely you aren’t.

Also, since I’m now revealing my Gamertag, feel free to add me on Xbox Live. Just know that at the moment I’m only a lowly Silver account and therefore cannot help you boost or be your co-op partner in SpongeBob’s Truth or Square.

Death to death achievements!

In videogame terms, I die a lot. It’s one of the best ways to learn how to play, dying. Unsure if you can make that jump across the gap? Try. Think your rocket launcher will blast a hole beneath your feet to fall through? Try. Curious as to how long Banjo can hold his breath underwater? Try. What’s the worst that could happen? Oh…you died. Hmm. Let’s put quotes around it actually.

Oh…you “died.”

Well, try again.

Back in the day, you could die as many times as you had lives or hearts or hit points or whatever. You had something, and if you ran out of it, you ceased to exist. Also, falling off a cliff generally never worked out well.

Recently, dying in videogames is becoming a thing of the past. Suffer too much damage in Fable II, and you fall unconscious for a bit, only to wake with some scarring and experience drain. Charge head first and unprepared into a Big Daddy battle in BioShock and you’re revived in a nearby Vita-Chamber unscathed. Miss a Prince of Persia jump because you are too busy oogling all the pretty colors? Don’t worry. Elika will save you. And in the LEGO games I’ve been enjoying recently, you just explode into bits and reappear in a second or two, ready to punch, shoot, and collect all over again. No big deal.

Now, the debate currently is not towards dying in videogames/not dying in videogames. Instead, it’s about achievements linked to these. They are never fun, and they are rarely for those that die a lot (e.g., me). Instead, the challenge is always to not die…or die a small amount.

Sifting through my Xbox 360 collection, I found a couple death-themed achievements, and sadly, I’ll most likely never unlock them. First, they are full of The Stress. Second, they are a lot of work. Third, I’m really not a cheater, and so the whole save/restart a level if it doesn’t work out seems a bit silly to me. Doing it that way is not really achieving anything in the end. Anyways, here’s some I found:

Kung Fu Panda: Invincible (50 Gamerscore) – Make it through the entire game without dying.

BioShock: Brass Balls (100 Gamerscore) – Complete the game on Hard difficulty without using a Vita-Chamber.

Prince of Persia: Be Gentle With Her (100 Gamerscore) – Elika saves you fewer than 100 times in the whole game.

Yeah, right.

Gaming resolutions

Well, it’s 2010.

Guess I should baa baa baa along with everyone else and throw down some gaming resolutions. Let’s just go with three for now, but three that are actually obtainable. Everyone wants to complete their entire backlog and finish a game before buying the next one. Try being realistic for a change. Remember 1991’s What About Bob? It’s all about the “baby steps.”

Anyways, here’s my Big Three resolutions for 2010:

1. Finish an evil run on Fable II

Generally, when I get a game that offers moral choices and a good/evil/neutral sort of alignment, I will always play through it first as a good-nature male character. Always. Then the plan is to go back afterwards and experience the world from an evil lady’s view. Not sure what that says about my psyche. But there’s a problem as of late. It’s kind of boring playing Fable II over again as an evil lady…because it’s basically the same game I played as a holier-than-thou hero. You just have horns, and people kick your dog.

2. Unlock the full 1550 Gamerscore on Fallout 3

At the moment, I have 1,170/ 1,550 points (or 54/72 achievements). I’d love to get a full Gamerscore on a game that is not LEGO-based, and since Fallout 3 has no online achievements, this is totally possible. It just requires time and patience because it’ll involved two playthroughs for the evil and neutral achievements. No, I’m not into cheating and saving/reloading to get them at their respective levels. Gotta visit the Pitt, too.

3. Be more open-minded to game genres I’ve historically disliked

This is the doozy of the resolutions. Hardcore shooters, sports, and MMORPGs are often the game genres I’ve sneered at the most. Though the latter two are types I really never play. I’m trying to figure out why I don’t like shooters more…by giving them a chance. Did the demo for Left 4 Dead 2 and mildly enjoyed it. Am playing through BioShock at the moment…though I am dying a lot. Maybe it’s my reflexes or the fact that I’m scared of every sound, no matter how minute, but I’m working on this. Will also have to be more accepting of sequels, even if a lot of them feel more like shoehorning than progression.

And that’s that.

Have you any gaming resolutions for 2010? Please don’t say, “Finish my backlog.”

Shadow Complex supports minimalists

Taking a tiny break from Fallout 3 (please don’t die from shock at that statement; I haven’t yet), I’ve gone back into the thinly veiled world of Shadow Complex. Now, I’ve already beaten the game twice, once just going along with things, and the second time to collect 100% of the items on the map. I basically have two achievements left to get: Minimalist (Complete the game with less than 13% of items) and Serious Complex (Level up to experience level 50). Both are definitely an uphill battle, especially if you’re one of the types that grows bored playing the same game over and over and over…

Luckily, Shadow Complex is a blast.

And random, too.

Take, for instance, the following scenario. Sneaking down a set of darkened barrack-like halls, I ran into an enemy soldier. Since I was close enough for hand-to-hand combat, I jabbed him twice in the face and moved to the next room…only to die a quick death from many, many guns. Going back through the same room, I instead killed the initial guard with a grenade…to only die once again in the next room. The third time…I popped the soldier quickly in the head with my pistol and planned my subsequent moves much better.

I also completely forgot how stunningly beautiful and haunting the gameworld is, and yes, I’m talking about when whatshisname has to swim back through some previous rooms now flooded and there’s dead soldiers drifting in the water with this quiet, atmospheric piano in the background. So good, people. So spooky. Much better than a hundred retail games have ever gotten it. Quote me on that if you must.

But yeah…Shadow Complex is a game worth replaying and revisiting because it is never what you expect it to be. I won’t be going after these achievements simultaneously because it is nearly impossible to gain a ton of XP, but not explore and gather extra items. So first up is…Minimalist. I’m at 7% and doing well. Then it looks like I’ll be playing through for a fourth time, which I don’t mind one bit.

I’m a Silver-Tongued, Glitch-Using Devil

I did not get to play many videogames over the weekend because, well, I was a little busy getting engaged. Didn’t even turn my Nintendo DS on once! How about that? Caaaaah-razy, I know.

But I did manage to make some more time last night for Fallout 3. Still trying to finish up some achievements and good karma-focused quests before I start over with a new, evil weasel of a character. After sneaking around for an hour and more or less getting nowhere (found one more bobblehead in Vault 108), I did the worst thing ever:

Cheated.

Well, took advantage of a glitch to be more specific. See, I was sitting at around 43 successful speech attempts, and you need 50 to unlock the following achievement:

Silver-Tongued Devil (20G): Won 50 Speech Challenges

Basically, if you go to Little Lamplight, there’s a kid sheriff there named Knock-Knock. Ask him to tell you a joke, use your intelligence to guess the answer, and then select the [Speech 100%] response. Rinse and repeat. You can do this as many times as you need to. Something, perhaps, Bethesda should have caught.

So I did it six more times until I heard that infamous ping, the very same ping that echoed in my head as I tried to sleep last night. It just doesn’t feel right, “achieving” what I did, but I was worried that I’d run out of proper speech options at this point, and I didn’t want to have my evildoer being all talky in my next playthrough. His/her speech success is most likely going to involve a rocket launcher to the face.

Not terribly proud of this, but I guess in the end it doesn’t matter.