Achievement roundup from free Gold weekend

Well, the free weekend access to Gold features such as online gaming and social apps has come and gone. Mighty fast, too. Alas, between traveling and the Easter holiday, I only got to log on for one night. Boo. However, I did unlock some online-only Achievements, making good use of my time in that sense, but I would’ve liked more time to try other features. I’m still not convinced it’s worth paying for. Anyways, let’s see how I did, yah?

For Fable II, I quickly popped the game back in, earned something like 708,945 gold since I last played, and…gave a gift to a complete stranger. Ping! Didn’t really feel up to badgering people for Hero dolls though…

The Philanthropist (10G): A gift was sent to an Xbox LIVE friend. Aren’t Heroes nice people?

Then I tackled a round of deathmatch for Grand Theft Auto IV. I didn’t win or have a wonderful time, but I did manage to pop these two with ease:

Let Sleeping Rockstars Lie (10G): You killed a Rockstar in multiplayer.

Cut Your Teeth (5G): You were successfully promoted up a rank in multiplayer.

Lastly, I hit up SEGA Superstars Tennis, thinking this would be a cakewalk. It turned out to be more of an uphill climb. Online opponents are much tougher than the computer-controlled ones, always making me run left and right to hit the ball before they smacked it down hard and fast and far away from me. It took me a number of tries just to win a single ranked match, and I knew it’d be a long road ahead to winning multiple matches. Here’s what I was able to, er, achieve:

Top of the Tree (20G): Win a Tournament on Xbox LIVE

Space Channel 5 (10G): Watch a match on TV

Surf the Net (10G): Win a Match on Xbox LIVE

Don’t worry; I totally hate boring Achievement pics like the ones above, too.

So, in conclusion, six new Achievements unlocked for a total of 65G (not like that means anything). Not too shabby for one night of quick and rushed gaming. Until next time, free Gold access!

Grand Theft Auto IV multiplayer, home of hostility

Last night, I took advantage of the free Gold access weekend for Xbox LIVE and played a single deathmatch round of Grand Theft Auto IV. It was a pretty terrible experience. Let me break it down for you.

First, I had to use the Internet to figure out how to start a multiplayer game. Evidently it’s via Niko’s cell phone. Makes sense now, but at the time I was just kind of boggled and running around his stupid apartment, dry-humping the fridge in hopes that it would take me where I needed to go. Kind of wish GTA IV had, um, a main menu screen or something.

Second, I decided to see what it was like to use the headset and chat with fellow gamers. Er, big mistake. While waiting for a game to load and get enough players, I listened to what might have been a beached whale moaning out in displeasure. Then someone kept calling someone else a Nazi. Lastly, this little kid just kept screaming, “COME ON! START! STAAAAAAAAAAAART! STARRRRRRRTF*CKERS I WANNA GO!”

Yeah, I remained silent the whole.

Third, the deathmatch itself. I had no idea what to expect…only to shoot other players as much as possible, die, respawn, and try again. And that’s mostly what I did. For 10 straight minutes. Sometimes I’d just die, respawn, die, respawn, die. Every now and then I’d get lucky and take someone out. I guess the goal was to kill as many enemy players and collect as much cash as possible. I didn’t win after 10 minutes, but I unlocked two Achievements and immediately turned the game off.

It was a very…empty experience. The level we were on was an airport (which I don’t think I’ve come across yet in the single-player mode), and you could run behind planes or hide behind boxes or desperately try and survive out on the open-as-all-gets runway. Listening to other players as they made unhuman noises and called them nasty words only made the deathmatch more not-fun. There seemed to be little skill involved the whole time; a lot factored on where and when you respawned, which ultimately would determine if you did or did not get the jump on other players. So you run around, you shoot things, you listen to people moan, and you do it all over again. Um…meh.

Don’t think I’ll try any of the team or racing multiplayer games after this, too. But I guess I’m in the rare here because there were a lot of gamers on last night, all ready to pew pew pew me in the head. To each their own, I suppose.

Free Xbox Live Gold for Silver Members this weekend

Attention fellow poor Xbox LIVE Silver accounts! Microsoft will be allowing us free “Gold access” from noon ET April 1, 2010 until noon ET April 5, 2010. This means you can try out Facebook, Twitter, last.fm, Netflix, online gaming and so forth.

What it means to me is the chance to nab some online-only Achievements.

Alas, as it always seems to happen, these free weekends pop up when I am traveling and can’t console game as much as I’d like. But I’m still going to make an attempt because I’m never going to be rich enough (or social enough) to pay for a Gold account and well, deep down inside, I like playing games to completion (or as far as a completion can go) and that means Achievements, too. So let’s take a look at my collection and what I might try to go after…

UNO: UNO Shark Win ten 4-player games of UNO, in any mode, on Xbox Live.

SEGA Superstars Tennis: There’s seven online-only Achievements, none of which sound very hard to unlock skill-wise. The major hiccup is if anyone else will be playing the game too.

Grand Theft Auto IV: There’s a slew for this game, but I’m really bad at driving and even worse at shooting things. The controls, they are not solid. Hence the reason I’ve not gotten very far in the single player mode. Might dip into an online game once to see how it plays, but I seriously doubt trying to get any of these in the long run. A lot sound really tough to get.

Banjo Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts: Will probably have the same problem with SEGA Superstars Tennis. No one around to play this anymore.

Fable II: The Dollcatcher Collect all the Hero dolls, or see another Hero collect them. Please, someone, anyone…just send them to me!

That’s actually it from my Xbox 360 collection for online-only Achievements. Wish me luck and/or help me out if you feel pity for me. I’m okay with pity help.

Guess who is the Ultimate Dragon Warrior?

The following is unexplainable. No, really. I can’t explain it.

I popped Kung Fu Panda back into my Xbox 360 last night and played for a little bit. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY.

Okay, okay. I have a suspicion why, and it has to do with Achievements. Curiously, the last time I played was on 5/11/2009, and while perusing my list of Achievements I noticed that there were some that sounded like they were pretty easy and I wondered why I hadn’t unlocked them before. I mean, the majority left are completing levels on 100% on the Dragon Warrior difficulty, which is not a true challenge. Just a time waster, which is probably why I didn’t go after them initially. Anyways, after thirty minutes or so, I popped the following cherries:

Level 11 100% Completion! (20G): Completed level “The Palace” 100%.

Ultimate Dragon Warrior (30G): All Upgrades have been purchased.

Easy peasy. Might go for a few more just because most of the other console games I’m playing currently really require a lot free headspace, of which I’m running low on.

Also, some things never change: the camera is still horrible and the faux Jack Black voice confuses me every time.

Last two Fallout 3 quests completed

Over the weekend, I jumped back into the Capital Wasteland to finish up the last two quests tied to Achievements for Fallout 3. These were You Gotta Shoot ‘Em in the Head and Reilley’s Rangers.

The former quest I avoided during my first playthrough, as it most definitely clashed with my super-duper angelic nature and soul. Can’t just go around shooting people in the head, even if they are bigots and hate ghouls of all shapes and colors. Trust me. I kinda wanted to. Thanks to my evil, I could, and each and every racist Wastelander got what they deserved. Red-headed Samantha shot them square-on with a 47 damage Chinese Assault Rifle.

For reasons I don’t know, I just never picked up the latter quest from one sickly Reilly in the Underworld. Must have missed her. You can play it evil or good or neutral, and I actually achieved good karma by accident by helping the rangers out. Don’t worry. I remedied this later when back at Ranger Compound where I planted some conveniently-placed mines and slaughtered everyone that made it safely back home. Yeah, being evil can be fun, but I still feel ultimately guilty over the action.

Okay, that’s the last two quests down and out. I’m now at 64 out of 72 Achievements, and I really really want to get a full Gamerscore for Fallout 3. Can’t just have the LEGO games riding forever high on my list. All that’s left are the karma-related ones for evil’s LV 20 and LV 30 and playing a full neutral character, as well as finding all the alien recordings and steel ingots. Gonna need a map or walkthrough for those ones, methinks.

Creeping closer though. Must finish before Fallout: New Vegas drops…

Just beat BioShock, still processing it all

I’m happy to report that I just beat BioShock, a pristine example of gaming and genre mixing done excruciatingly well. One-word summary: wow. Three-word summary: kinda crazy game. More words summary? Well, that’ll come later because there’s a lot to talk about, both good and meh. And trust me, I understand how late I am to the party, but I’ve brought everyone their very own ADAM-flavored cupcake…so don’t bite my head off.

I unlocked 42 out of 51 Achievements during my playthrough. I did not actively use a guide, but I did skim a list of things to keep in mind as I explored Rapture to potentially unlock all I could. Going in, I immediately knew that I wouldn’t harvest any Little Sisters, supposedly making Jack’s trek that much harder. I guess it was? I did miss some Achievements though, as shown below:

• Weapon Specialist (20G, Acquire all upgrades for all weapons.) — In order to get this, you must upgrade all your weapons, but I did not find all the Power to the People stations to do. Only was able to upgrade three in the end, namely the pistol, the machine gun, and the crossbow. Mmm…love that crossbow and its trap bolts.
• Research PhD (20G, Max out all possible research.) — I missed fully researching the Nitro Splicer to get this. Any time those dudes would show up, my main concern was to shoot first, snap pictures second. Guess that didn’t work out too well.
• Historian (50G, Find every audio diary.) — Hahaha no.
• And two secret Achievements — One I won’t spoil here, but it was my fault because I axed a certain someone prematurely, and the other requires beating the game without using a single Vita-Chamber. Not to repeat myself, but hahaha no.

BioShock is definitely a game I’ll remember, but don’t suspect I’ll replay. The only moral decisions are harvesting or rescuing Little Sisters, which ultimately determine how much ADAM you get and whether a certain character is nice towards you or not. Otherwise, it’s the same beautifully detailed Rapture swarming with splicers, gun turrets, and Big Daddies, which is not a bad thing, just not a different thing.

Full review forthcoming. Would you kindly wait for it?

Ka-ching, ka-ching in BioShock

At the urging of Greg Noe, I popped BioShock back into the disc tray. It’s definitely a game that I’ve only ever been able to play in small chunks. Anyways, after dealing with the forests of Arcadia, I made my way to Fort Frollic thanks to Sander Cohen’s teasing and noticed some slot machines off to the side. Vaguely, I remembered there was an Achievement tied to them. Win a certain amount? Hit the jackpot three times? Not bothering to look it up, I gambled away $10 and on the very first pull, I kid thee not, I hit those magical 7s and unlocked the following:

Lucky Winner (10G): The player has hit the jackpot at a slot machine

If only it was that easy to get rich in real life, right?

Liberty City, Home of the Minigames

I’ve been playing a bit of Grand Theft Auto IV recently. It’s a massive game, truly elephantine, and that’s kind of amazing to think about considering I’ve only experienced one island so far. There’s driving and escorting and TV watching and potential girlfriends and clothing shops and and and…minigames!

What? I’m a sucker for them, which is beyond clear when one sees that three out of my seven first unlocked Achievements are the following:

Pool Shark (10G): You beat a friend at pool.

King of QUB3D (15G): You beat the high score in QUB3D.

One Hundred and Eighty (10G): You scored 180 with 3 darts.

That’s right. Niko visited Liberty City, and all he got was this lousy t-shirt were some mediocre minigames. Only one I haven’t tackled yet is the bowling Achievement for three strikes in a row. But I will, oh yes, I will.

But yeah, the minigames aren’t really anything to write home about. I was looking forward to pool the most because I have oddly always enjoyed Flash-based pool games and such. Here, however, it was extremely difficult to tell solids from stripes, and lining up shots was frustrating, as well as determining power and angles. I did, however, unlock the achievement properly by sinking the eight ball, but I know it can also be earned by your opponent scratching at the end. Doubt I’ll go back and play pool, even if it is my date’s favorite activity ever. She’ll just have to learn to love something else. Like drive-by shootings?

That said, the missions, so far, are okay. Pretty GTA standard. Haven’t done many though, just a few side gigs for Roman and F-bomber Vlad. Love the cell phone integration. Can’t really control cars too well. When it rains, it’s just amazing looking and I want to steal someone’s umbrella and go for a stroll. And lastly, mopeds for life!

10,000 Gamerscore exactly – mission accomplished!

Well, the subject line kinda says it all, but here’s the glorious visual proof:

It’s such a nice, round number. I wouldn’t go so far as to call it feckless, but, yes, it’s a silly thing to care about and get excited over, but see this is where I and Achievement whores differ. For them, it’s all about getting as many as you can, as fast as you can. Me, well…I like to set these mini-goals and have fun going after particularly challenging ones or Achievements that really change how I play a game (for example, I’ve not yet sacrificed 10 people in the Temple of Shadows in Fable 2 because I find it hard to be really evil in that game), and so in that sense, I really like keeping track of what I unlock.

Not sure how long my new shiny Gamerscore will last though as I am working my way through an evil run in Fallout 3 and will eventually–when I’m not so terrified of every single creak and snicker–return to Rapture in BioShock. But for now, let’s all enjoy ten thousand Gs.

Going for 10,000 Gamerscore tonight

Call me crazy, call me full of OCD, but ever since I saw my Gamerscore hit 9,975 I’ve been wanting nothing more than to hit a straight 10,000 and to do it with my next Achievement. So I quickly perused my list for the first locked 25G Achievement, and there’s two sitting idle in my copy of Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts: Speedy of the Colossus and Whoa Nelly! One involves going over a set speed and the other…involves going over a set speed. Hmm. Not sure how that worked that way.

But yeah, that’s my goal for tonight. Got a bunch of other stuff to do though (like watch House, read short stories, clean up some LOST fanart for tomorrow, and pay bills), but I think I can make time to unlock one of them.

Wish me luck!