Daily Archives: April 13, 2012

Achievements of the Week – The Taking Sides with the Dragon Cube Hunter Edition

For those paying attention, I did not put together an Achievements of the Week post last Friday. And I totally could have. I unlocked a dino dropping size of them for Jurassic Park: The Game, which I completed rather quickly, as well a couple in that dragon-laden roleplaying game that never ends thanks to radiant quests and a landmass barely explored. But no one voiced any disappointment, so I guess this segment isn’t an actual weekly heroin fix for Grinding Down readers. Fine by me, really, as I was extremely stressed around then and disinterested in even hinting at why, and so I just played the games I had and kept blathering about their Achievements to a real minimum.

But I’m back. Got some good ones to share, too. So this edition will basically cover the last two weeks. Haven’t played much else on the Xbox 360 besides Jurassic Park: The Game and Skyrim, but I will be downloading Fez today during my lunch break so I might be able to sneak a few in from there, too.

Fez update: within forty-five minutes, I was able to unlock three–as well as had a blast spinning rooms and collecting bits of cube. Seriously, y’all need to check out Fez; it can be your weekend impulse buy! Looking forward to playing more.

Right. Let’s go then.

From The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim…

Taking Sides (10G): Join the Stormcloaks or the Imperial Army

Pssst. Pssst. Yeah, you. Don’t tell anyone…but I signed up with the Stormcloaks! Screw off, ya dirty Imperial.

Dragon Hunter (20G): Absorb 20 dragon souls

Oh yeah! Dragons have nothing on me now thanks to my enchanted Ebony Bow of Lethargy, a full quiver of glass arrows, and plenty of stamina-weakening potions to boot. More will fall from the sky; this, I promise.

From Fez…

Get a cube (10G): Cube GET!

Just starting out. Gotta collect 31 more…

For these next two Achievements, I won’t spoil anything specific, but to get ’em, one just needs to do some light reading of all the Achievement descriptions in Fez and follow through…

Achievement unlocked (15G): Unlocking achieved.

Equal and opposite (15G): Negative space.

From Jurassic Park: The Game…

Hmm. While reviewing the list of Achievements I’ve ultimately unlocked, I realized that several of them share the same artwork. Actually, a lot of them. Never noticed this before. How lame is that? It’s no longer 2006, game developers. Put some care and effort into the look of your unlockables, like BioWare and Bethesda do. That said, here’s the variety you’ll get, with the only differences being in the name of the Achievement and how many Gamerscore points it is worth:

Other than those, the only ones that are special and different are those based on individual dinosaur encounters and not making any mistakes while fighting Yoder. That’s it. The rest are rinsed, shampooed, and used again. That’s pretty disappointing, especially since some good work was done on the Achievement names, like Barbasolved, I Know How to Read a Schematic, and I Herd That.

But whatever. It was not the greatest game.


Level 1-11 in Bit.Trip RUNNER is a real Bit.Trip BUMMER

…but I only say that out of the frustration that comes with a brutally old-school videogame like Bit.Trip RUNNER. It’s not a total bummer; in fact, it’s extremely addicting and full of musically magic moments; it’s only a bummer in that if you mess up once on level 1-11 “Odyssey” as you attempt to pick up 93 pieces of gold–yes, 93–or avoid numerous pitfalls…it’s back to the start for you and the never-tiring, always perky CommanderVideo.

And you try again, naturally, getting a smidge further into the level, but still end up missing a key jump because you hit the space bar one-ninth of a second too late or couldn’t remember quickly enough if you were supposed to slide under that bouncing block or hop over it. All right, so you try again. And again. And again like eight more times, stubbornness in your eyes and hands. Eventually, carelessness slips in, and aspects of the level you had already perfected now become just as difficult, with it all coming to a glorious head in accepting defeat and failure.

At least, that’s how things went for me. And the folks at Giant Bomb, based on their Quick Look skills. But yeah, Bit.Trip RUNNER‘s motto is basically, “Okay, one more try.” It’s hard not to say it, not to want to go again. The solution is so simple, and you always see your mistakes. Like, you know you could have gotten farther if you timed your jump better, so go again and this time plan your jump better. Except it doesn’t always work out so easily, especially as the levels get longer and full of more stuff. Precision reflexes are key, and for those that don’t have them, they must be earned, worked toward, like calluses from playing the guitar. I am getting there, but it’s not going to happen over night.

Need further proof about how far I am versus how many times I’ve retried levels, over and over and over? Well, see here:

RUNNER.UP: Jump 1,000 times

But I’m not done with you, level 1-11. Not one bit (pun intended). I just need a breather, but I’ll be back soon, and then you and are I going to make sweet musical completion together. Though part of me is nervous because the level after 1-11 is…a boss fight. I have no idea how those are played out, but imagine it’ll be no run through the park.