Monthly Archives: January 2012

Games Completed in 2011, #38 – Half-Life 2: Episode One

Much to my disliking, I was unable to finish Half-Life 2 due to an annoying switch glitch, and had to move on to the next adventure in the series in a non-traditional manner, with large gaps jumped and story bits left behind. Upon starting Half-Life 2: Episode One, I was pretty confused plot-wise and spent the first hour or so trying to piece everything back together, much like Gordon and Alyx were doing in-game.

However, I think that was my favorite aspect of this bite-sized experience. Not that it was straighter, stronger, and had less driving sequences, but that it paired Gordon and Alyx together for nearly the whole time, and she’s one of the better AI companions I’ve had the pleasure of working with. Her dialogue is believable and delivered emotionally, and it made going forward a less lonesome affair. Plus, y’know…appropriately punny jokes. A digital woman after my own heart. Gameplay still involves shooting enemies until they fall down and solving some light puzzles, mostly involving the Gravity Gun. It’s all very polished, much like in the former Half-Life 2, but just condensed into a nicer-sized package, perfect for running through in a single afternoon.

I think it took me about four hours to complete Half-Life 2: Episode One, and those four hours were amazingly strong, save for a tiring elevator sequence that saw me trying and trying and trying over again to not let falling debris crush Alyx and Gordon to death. Eventually I solved it, but man–it took a handful of attempts. Otherwise, it’s generally clear where to go and what to do next, something I’ve struggled with in Valve’s games up to this point.

At some point, I’ll give Half-Life 2: Episode Two a spin. And maybe even see if I can get past that broken switch in the larger, original game. Maybe. I dunno. I really don’t want to play the majority of that game again, naming the driving sequences and shooting down those attack choppers. Seeing as the Internet is constantly salivating over any and every slip about Half-Life 2: Episode Three/Half-Life 3, of which are constantly turning out to be red herrings, I’m in no rush.

Also, this is the final videogame I completed in 2011, bringing the total number to thirty-eight. Not too shabby, I guess.

Activities from Saints Row: The Third in order of fun

Last night, as I continued to chip away at slowly conquering all of Steelport in Saints Row: The Third, as well as earn that Achievement for playing for at least thirty hours, I finished off another activity fully, earning this little prize with a funny name:


Porkchop Sandwiches (20G): Completed all instances of Trail Blazing.

At around 83% completion and a logged 23 hours, I’ve now done all instances of three activities: Guardian Angel, Professor Genki’s Super Ethical Reality Climax, and Trail Blazing. The first one is completed by just playing the story as there is only two instances of it, and the other two had six instances each, but were ones that I actually enjoyed playing, meaning I sought them out. The other seven activities are…eh, not terribly entertaining. And some are just downright difficult, and it’s always frustrating to get to the very end of an activity and fail by some small mistake.

And so, because I’m in the mood for a list, here’s what I think are the best activities in Saints Row: The Third, from most fun to least fun:

  • Professor Genki’s Super Ethical Reality Climax – It’s a gameshow, wherein you run around, shot mascots, and dodge fire/shock traps. When you’ve earned enough points, the exit opens up. It’s quick, tense, and padded with colorful commentary.
  • Trail Blazing – Riding around on a deadly quad, hitting checkpoints, as well as innocent civilians and vehicles for bonus time. When stuff starts exploding, it’s just pure chaos.
  • Mayhem – You get a time limit and a bunch of deadly toys to hit a threshold of damage points. I’ve tried this one instance of it over and over, but I keep dying at the very end. Me thinks I need to wait until I have unlocked the “take no damage” perks.
  • Tank Mayhem – Like Mayhem, but you’re in a tank. One might think this would be more fun than generic mayhem, but it’s just way too easy to rack up points in a tank. You don’t even have to look at the screen to win.
  • Guardian Angel – Watching over a friend with either a sniper rifle or rocket launcher. I’m not the best sniper that ever sniped so this wasn’t a stellar session.
  • Escort – This comes in two forms: tiger and non-tiger. You basically have to drive someone or some animal around, keeping them calm while every car tries to sideswipe you.
  • Snatch – Rescuing hookers. I couldn’t figure out how to get them to get into my car. They just stood there.
  • Trafficking – You ride around as the passenger as your ally drives to and fro to take care of some business. Just protect them for as long as you can. Need “unlimited ammo” and “instant reload” perks to make this much easier.
  • Heli Assault – Helicopter controls are the worst. It’s like controlling a balloon of swooshing water. I hate it, and end up hitting my homie’s car more often than not with tossed rockets.
  • Insurance Fraud – Throw yourself into traffic and earn points by bouncing off cars. It’d be nice if there was actually traffic to throw yourself into, but every time I get to a “hot spot” it is devoid of automotive life. Meh.

I think  my next sit-down with Saints Row: The Third will be spent on getting the remainder of the collectibles–there’s like 10 left–and wiping out some more gangs. Eventually, I’ll get back to these activities. Yes, even the non-fun ones. It’s the completionist in me. At least this is all helping me get closer to the 30 hours Achievement. See, the silver lining. Sigh.

Playing the Ludum Dare 22 Winners, #5 – Stray Whisker

I don’t think Stray Whisker would’ve been as effective if it wasn’t for the fact that, just three weeks ago, Tara and I got two cats. Their names are Timmy and Pixie, and they are having a good time exploring and owning all the space within Grimmauld Place. I love them except when they vomit, poop, or put their smelly butt in my face when I’m trying to sleep. Conversely, I think they now love us, and I can say with confidence that one cat in particular–Ser Timmy of the Toylands–would go on a journey to find us if we ever abandoned him alone in the urban wilderness.

It’s a quiet game about just that though. A woman in pink leaves her kitty cat in a nondescript section of outside and just walks away. Maybe she can’t afford the cat anymore or doesn’t have room in the house with a new baby on the way or the cat threw up on her favorite pair of heels. We don’t know. We just know that, as the cat, we must get back to her. We must nuzzle her leg and be the greatest purr machine that ever purred. We must.

Gameplay is simple as it’s all controlled by the arrow keys. Left and right make the cat go left and right, respectively, and up gets it to jump. You can jump on to ledges and knock down pots in typical cat-like ways You are always moving right, and eventually you meet other cats and a not-so-friendly dog, but eventually you’ll find your master’s home, with your master at home upstairs. I got stuck here initially as I thought I was supposed to lead all the other strays back to the house with me, but that wasn’t it. Just had to climb into the house through the top window. Love achieved!

One moment in particular reminded me of Limbo, where you reach a new screen, get the quickest glimpse of your sister/owner at the edge of the opposite side, and do everything you can to reach her. It’s small, but effective, and made the reunion of cat and owner all the more precious. Also, kudos to Andrew Sum for the solid animation work. That cat’s tail is pretty authentic.

Total play time is under five minutes, unless that red ball really becomes a distraction. Get to it, cat fans.

Achievements of the Week – The Sideways Explorer Turns the Tables Edition

I’m too lazy to check if this is actually a first, but a goal I made on last week’s edition of Achievements of the Week was actually met. Which one? Um, keep on reading, loyal readers. I also did fairly well in some other videogames, but they don’t deserve the spotlight quite like Rhaegar does for hanging out in the Mojave Wasteland and shooting the crap out of evil automatons. Oops, guess I spoiled it.

Here we go!

From Fallout: New Vegas…


Curios and Relics (15G): Cause 10,000 damage with unique Mojave Wasteland weapons.

Last week, I knew I wanted to get this Achievement, but I had no idea how close I was to the actual 10,000 threshold mark. I’d been playing for some time at that point–maybe around 25 to 30 hours–and while I wasn’t using unique Mojave Wasteland weapons all the time, I was making a conscious effort to whip out That Gun as much as possible. Guess I was right near the finish line as it was only within an hour or so of playing again that this baby popped.

From Marvel VS. Capcom 3: Fate of Two Worlds…


Excelsior! (10G): Perform 10 Team Aerial Combos. (Arcade/Xbox LIVE only)


Turn the Tables (10G): Land a Team Aerial Counter in a match. (Arcade/Xbox LIVE only)

No idea how I got these; I just mash those buttons like a crazy man.

From The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim…


Explorer (40G): Discover 100 Locations


Sideways (20G): Complete 10 side quests

Sure, these two Achievements seem like natural fits for unlocking after playing a game for over seventy-five hours. I can understand the location-based one, as I’m a homebody and creature of comfort and do not enjoy venturing out into the wild too much, content to spend time in my Whiterun house or within the secretive lair for the Thieves Guild.

The side quests one? Hmm, maybe that needs a whole blog post for explaining. Yeah, that’s it. More content spread out over this hip and happening place of mine. Stay tuned.

From Quarrel…

Just blogged about this wonderful wordy game and the three Achievements I unlocked this morning.

That’s it for this week’s edition. It seems like, with each week, Friday gets here faster than before. Go figure. And it looks like yet another busy weekend. We’ll see if I make any further progress with the almighty, all powerful, and all too important Achievements list.

For those readers out there playing Skyrim, have you hit 100 locations yet? Do you remember your 100th one? Mine was Broken Oar Grotto.

I have no quarrel with Quarrel

I am a word nerd. Always have been, always will be. I guess this is obvious if you know me in real life, as I’ve been a copyeditor for the past seven to eight years. I see letters, I see words, and for the last chunk of life, I’ve been correcting misspelled words. It’s a disease. I just can’t help but notice errors or better ways to write something. And so I was very delighted to see a Quick Look of Quarrel over at GiantBomb, which is a game that’s been out on other platforms for some time now, but I’ve never heard of it because my cell phone is pre-600 B.C. I was sold immediately, especially at the appealing price tag of $5.00 (or 400 Microsoft Points) on Xbox Live.

Anyways, Quarrel…it’s a mix of Scrabble and Risk. Maybe some Boggle, too. Basically, each player is given different cuts of land on a shared map, and to capture enemy territory, you have to create a better word than them from a mix of random letters. The size of the word is limited to the number of soldiers you have when attacking, which can be increased by making kick-ass words or recruiting them from other controlled slices. It’s also a race against time, as sometimes you and your opponent will enter words worth the same value, with the winner being decided by who was the fastest.

Check out the three Achievements I’ve unlocked so far, which clearly show off my supreme wordage skills:


A Rag Man (5G): You made your first ever Quarrel anagram.


Unbeaten! (20G): You capably captured Starfish Bay in Domination without losing a single quarrel.


Incrediword! (15G): You made a whale of a word worth at least 20 points.

The aspect that I’m loving about Quarrel so far is how quickly a match can swing from being in your favor to being your worst nightmare. Last night, before bed, I decided to do one more match, a four-way between me and three computer-controlled opponents: Malik, Caprice, and Dwayne. I got picked to go last, so I sat, watching as the other players duked it out, trying to make anagrams  during their fights. When my turn came, I began dominating, since most of my enemies’ territories were now down in size, squashing their “OH” and “IT” with “SCRUB” and “LAZY”. I was able to take out Caprice and Dwayne, stopping to earn some new recruits. Then it was a back and forth between Malik and I, with me eventually flubbing up one too many times, and then he destroyed me. Even if you have eight troops to make an eight-letter word, a player with a four-letter word can still pull the rug out from under you.

But yeah, Quarrel! I’m gonna play some more this weekend, hopefully. Seems like a great chaser between stress and trying to get done a thousand and five artsy things for MegaCon and MOCCA. It costs $5.00, and you should get it, and then we should wage war against each other with words. Seriously, find me. Message me at PaulyAulyWog. Word!

Animal Crossing 3DS and what we know

When the Nintendo 3DS and its potential blockbusters were first announced, the forthcoming game I was most excited for was Animal Crossing 3DS, which is not its official title, but could probably end up being so. The no-battery life handheld came out in March 2011, and GameStop, along with a number of other retailers, were claiming that the next iteration of the cutesy, addicting life sim was slated for Fall 2011. Right, so it didn’t make the launch lineup, wasn’t primed for summer, but an autumn release wasn’t too far off; I could wait. And I have.

Currently, it’s late January 2012, and there’s still no Animal Crossing 3DS. When’s it coming out? Who knows. There’s nothing. Nintendo is being extra quiet about this game–and I have absolutely no idea why. Just tell us it’s true name and when we can expect to play it. Simple as that. A new tentative release window says Summer 2012, but I no longer trust anything unless it is backed by Nintendo reps themselves.

Okay, I guess we do know some gameplay tidbits, which are enough to nibble on, but I’m hungry. I’m ready to eat. True fact: I’m always ready to eat.

The biggest gameplay detail that is known is that you are no longer a mere resident of the animal-filled town you come to call your own. No, you are its mayor, a man or woman with power and dominating control. It’s not clear if you start out in this role or have to earn it by a number of miscellaneous character-building tasks, but whatever. And as mayor of all of Hobbitontown, you’ll certainly need some assistance. So, meet your new, private secretary:

Aw, she’s kind of adorable. And nameless currently. Alas, rumor has it that she can be extremely clumsy, but her role remains vital nonetheless. As your secretary, she’ll help point out parts of the village that look particularly good and parts that may need some extra work. So if there’s ever a lull in your daily minutiae, check in with her and find out what you can be doing to improve your town and your ratings before the re-election circuit hits.

Everybody’s arch-nemesis from previous Animal Crossings is back, but this time wearing some new attire. That’s right. Tom Nook is no longer selling stock. Instead, he’s selling houses. Not sure what this ultimately means, but maybe it has something to do with StreetPassing other towns. I suspect that you’ll still have to deal with him on a daily basis for some reason or another. I mean, he sells houses, and you’re in charge of a bunch of houses.

Other confirmed tidbits in a nice bulleted list because I’m getting tired of trying to think of interesting ways to phrase all of this:

  • Benches and outdoor items, such as lamps, are now available
  • Nintendo-themed items aplenty
  • Players can go swimming
  • Customization of the outside of houses is now allowed, and we’re not just talking about changing the roof’s color
  • You can live in a tent
  • Furniture customization to rule all
  • There’s a mall, which I guess is akin to visiting the city as in Animal Crossing: City Folk
  • You can take your shoes off
  • YOU CAN TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF
  • YOU CAN TAKE YOUR F*CKING SHOES OFF!!!

Woah.

Well, that’s all I got for now. I’m tired of speculating. Just give us some dang, honest-to-goodness solid details, Nintendo. I promise you, no matter what you say, I am buying this game the day it comes out. I just hope it comes out soon.

Wreaking havoc with unique Mojave Wasteland weapons in Fallout: New Vegas

Last week, I received some bad news. Which I misinterpreted greatly. The bad news remained bad news, but now I was all conflicted and confused and mad and angry and depressed with myself as a person, as a Pauly. I felt disgusted and in fear of a public shaming. So, desperate for some kind of comfort, I opened the disc tray for my Xbox 360, removed whatever game was currently in there, and quickly replaced it with Fallout: New Vegas. I needed a little time in the shadow of the valley, so to speak. Tara literally gasped with excitement when she came out to the living room and discovered I was back in the Mojave Wasteland.

At first, I just meandered around, no quests tagged as current, trying to remember who my character was and what he was trying to do. It slowly came back to me: a Mr. House run. But before that could happen, I took care of Boone’s personal sidequest to get him his new armor and such, and then headed back to the strip to begin the lengthy affair that is known as  The House Always Wins quests. I did most of these before during my first playthrough, but switched sides to Yes Man at the very end. You can’t tell from reading a blog post, but I got them shifty eyes. For The House Always Wins, II, the Courier needs to enter a secret bunker within Caesar’s Legion’s main base to turn some Securitrons to the dark side. Easy peasy, really, even with all the radiation creeping in.

Well, after shooting some guard robots in their metallic faces with That Gun, I finally earned this little zinger:


Curios and Relics (15G): Cause 10,000 damage with unique Mojave Wasteland weapons.

Don’t get the above confused with the Master of the Arsenal Achievement, which I popped way back in October 2011. Oh, and I also ticked off a one-star challenge. Woo, progress. Small progress, but still–it’s there.

At this point, now that I’ve unlocked Curios and Relics, I can hop back to using whatever weapon I desire, as I was constantly making a conscious effort to use only unique Mojave Wasteland weapons for as much as possible. That’s not to say I won’t use That Gun again–I will, as it packs a pretty (bullet) punch. But there’s some really nice rifles and shotguns in my inventory collecting digital dust. For The House Always Wins, III, I need to gain the help of the Boomers, which requires a number of mini-quests to earn their loyalty. Can’t wait to use some new weaponry to blow up a bunch of mutated ants.

Games Completed in 2011, #37 – Professor Layton and the Last Specter

I bought Professor Layton and the Last Specter back in October 2011 and had to almost immediately give it over to my wife, after her curious levels reached a brand new high. She ate up the game and then had to keep quiet as I finished my playthrough, which I did slowly and in small pieces. Not my fault. Some other heavy-hitters came out around the same time, as well as my continued quest to beat Chrono Trigger. Plus, that little mini-RPG thing London Life was fairly distracting. But I did see it through the end, solving the mystery of the ravenous specter and the disquieted town of Misthallery.

In Professor Layton and the Last Specter, which is set before the other games in the franchise, Hershel Layton and his new assistant Emmy Altava head off to Misthallery after receiving a concerning letter from an old friend. Seems like a mysterious monster–a specter, if the townsfolk are to be believed–is rampaging through the town at night. There, they meet a young boy who is able to predict where and when the specter will strike next. And the plot gets more complicated–and spoilery–after that, so there’s my summary. You wanna know more? Play the game, you puzzlin’ fool.

Story-wise, just like Professor Layton and the Curious Village, twists and turns aplenty. But this time, things get sadder. Even made my wife cry. I’ll be honest and say I didn’t cry, but can understand why she did; it’s like, you know what’s going to happen to your equestrian partner in Shadow of the Colossus, you can feel it in your gut from the very beginning, and then you still feel sick and shocked when the moment hits. There was some confusion towards the end of the game, where a revealed character implies he already knows Layton intimately, but maybe that’s a detail I’m missing from not playing games #2 and #3. Or it’s just a big tease to come for further prequels. Either way, whatever. Mystery solved, new friends acquired, and puzzle skills enhanced by +15.

As it is a Professor Layton and the Adjective Noun title, all is where it should be: puzzles, high quality animated cutscenes, minigames, hidden hint coins, so much dang charm, oh so creepy characters, and infectious music. I played Professor Layton and the Curious Village right when it released, but never touched the other two games, putting a span of a few years between my first adventure and this new one. Surprisingly, not much has changed–and that’s okay. It was a little like going home.

As for the minigames, unfortunately, they are not as much fun as the ones in Professor Layton and the Curious Village. Maybe the inclusion of a massive minigame–Professor Layton’s London Life–is to blame. What we have is the following:

  • Miracle Fish: Bouncing fish around an underwater room, trying to collect a number of  bubbles in a locked amount of time. Trial and error is ultimately one way to solve these, though a few of them are extremely tricky. I did the majority of them.
  • Miniature Train: Players must lay out train tracks on game boards of increasing difficulty that will allow a toy train to go from a starting point to the finish line while passing through every station on the board. These were too frustrating to be fun, so I did the first one and never went back.
  • Puppet Theatre: A group of puppets perform short plays, and players must help them fill in the blanks with words they collect during the main game. I really enjoyed doing these and trying out different phrases in hopes of getting it right. The plays themselves are cute and down in a nice art style.

The puzzles in Professor Layton and the Last Specter range from super easy to super hard, with the super easy ones sometimes being a mindf*ck in the way that it will seem so easy that you will start second-guessing yourself. Boo to that. But the game’s pacing and charm are top-notch, and I loved being able to play for a half hour before bed, knocking out a few puzzles and progressing the story, but being able to stop for the night and pick it up the next day. You always get a summary of what’s been happening, and if you ever get really lost, you can re-read Layton’s journal for extremely detailed retellings.

I am looking forward to the first iteration of Layton on the 3DS, as well as maybe picking up the other two–hopefully for cheap–over the year for when I need a little more puzzlin’ in my life.

Playing the Ludum Dare 22 Winners, #6 – Split Party!

With Split Party!, you just have to ruin all the fun. See, your goal for each level is to separate different colored boxes so that each one switches from a smiley face to a frowny face. It’s like these blocks are your teenage kids and their punky, disrespectful friends, and you just came home from a long day at the blocks factory to discover your liquor cabinet wide open and emptied. Time to put your foot down, undo your belt menacingly, and get everyone to clear out. Well, that’s how I read it, but let’s see how its maker Ishisoft describes it:

A short puzzle game. Rotate the blocks to split them up from their friends, we don’t want them partying too hard!

I played up to the tenth level and got stuck. Not sure if there are ten levels in total, as there seemed to be more room available on the select screen, but nine successfully completed levels and a tough tenth one still encompassed a good time. The graphics are simple, but likable, though one caveat was that the ultra pink-purple background never changed with each level. A missed opportunity, for sure. And it’s amazing how effective a happy block to a sad block is. Music’s good and the puzzle mechanics of rotating, while initially confusing, quickly become secondhand nature. Early on, it was hard to wrap my mind around how to rotate the blocks to precisely cut them up and/or move them elsewhere within the level.

A great little gem of a puzzle game made in under 48 hours. Do give it a look, I say. And put back any liquor you took.

Achievements of the Week – The Be Gone All Fresh Meat Edition

Y’know, I just don’t have any witty or elaborate intro to this week’s edition of Achievements of the Week. I played a few games on the ol’ Xbox 360 when the living room wasn’t terribly frigid, like Saints Row: The Third and more Fallout: New Vegas after too long of a hiatus, but nothing popped in those titles despite my hardest efforts. So yeah, normally, I’d pick a bunch of my favorites to show off, but I only unlocked three Achievements over the last seven days and so I have to dub these as the best of the bunch for no other reason then them being all that’s there.

Enjoy, readers.

From Rage…


Fresh Meat (10G): Complete a public Road RAGE match


MVP (20G): Get first place in a public Road RAGE match

I already wrote about how I cheesed my way to earning these nuggets earlier this week. Mmm cheese.

From Marvel VS. Capcom 3: Fate of Two Worlds…


Be Gone! (10G): Perform 10 Snap Backs. (Arcade/Xbox LIVE only)

Instead of using your filled up super bar thingy to unleash a flashy special attack, you can spend it completely to knock a character from your opponent’s team off the screen and out of the match for a short time. I think I did this each time by accident as MVC3 is a button-mashing game for me. Be gone, Deadpool! You are annoying!

That’s it. My one goal for this week is to earn the Curios and Relics Achievement in Fallout: New Vegas, but my problem is actually finding a unique Mojave Wasteland weapon that I like to use. Rhaegar has no points put into melee or Energy weapons. I’ve been rocking That Gun for awhile now, but have no idea if I’m even close to the 10,000 damage threshold. Wish there was a way to check, but I’ll just keep soldering on down the path of Mr. House and see if it’ll just pop on its own.

What about y’all? Any goals during the slowest month of new releases ever? Tell me about them in glorious details below in the comments.