Baby, you can drive my car…in Borderlands (cause I don’t want to)

I’m beginning to wonder what videogames with vehicles would be like without their vehicles. Most likely better, to start.

The Mako in Mass Effect was frustrating to control, and unsatisfying when you finally did get the hang out it because then you’re mostly standing still, bunny-hopping incoming rockets, and firing your own weaponry off into the great distance. Not fun, and it might have just been easier–and more fun–to walk the path from Mako point A to Make point B then drive like a loon. I was extremely glad to hear it got the ax for Mass Effect 2 though they seemed to have added in a flying ship of sorts. Not sure how it controls.

In Banjo Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts, if a single block was off or the wrong type of fuel was attached, the vehicle would be classified in the local paper as 100% jalopy/clunker/hooptie. This made making your own vehicles un-fun, and using the ones provided by the game until you hit a spot where none of them would work. Wish it was a platformer again instead of a car circus.

And Grand Theft Auto IV‘s vehicles are just hahahahaaa ahaha ahahahahah ha. Ahem.

But I’m not here to harp on Mass Effect‘s shoddy future tank or Banjo Kazooie‘s pickiness. No, no. This blog post is all about the vehicles in Borderlands.

To start: WHAT ON PANDORA IS WRONG WITH THEM?

Actually, nothing. But there is something terribly wrong with the control scheme for them. So, once you’re inside the driver seat after accidentally climbing into the gunner seat a few times, you’re ready to burn some rubber around the wasteland. To do so, on the Xbox 360, you have to press forward on the left analog stick. Okay, weird. Old-school design. So how do you steer then? Oh, you also use the left analog stick. “But,” you ask, dear reader, “how can you effectively hold it forward to drive and tilt left/right to steer the vehicle away from sharp rocks?” You can’t.

I really had a lot of trouble figuring out how to use the vehicle once I got in it. And so far, after trying to use it on two missions to speed up travel time, I’ve found myself stuck on a rock or down a ditch thanks to hard-as-vault controls. It really boggles my mind, and I can’t seem to find a way to change the scheme myself. Why couldn’t you hold A for gas and steer with the analog stick? Makes no sense, I tell you.

Now I’m just waiting to unlock fast travel because driving vehicles, especially in a solo game where no one is watching my back or driving for me, is not a good time. Of all time. NOT A GOOD TIME OF ALL TIME. Shooting bandits is much more desired.

Yet somehow–and I assure you there was no skill involved here thanks to previous mentioned controls–I unlocked the following Achievement:


Get a Little Blood on the Tires (20G): Killed 25 enemies by ramming them with any vehicle

Seriously, at this point, I think the only game with vehicles I’ve ever greatly enjoyed is Super Mario Kart. Those things handled perfectly.

7 responses to “Baby, you can drive my car…in Borderlands (cause I don’t want to)

  1. I’m pretty sure Borderlands features Halo’s Warthog driving controls, but even after playing that series extensively I still had a ton of trouble in Borderlands. The smallest of objects will stop your vehicle in its tracks and the world is set up to make you walk sometimes. This means you’ll spend a minute getting in a car and then 100 feet down the road you have to get out because there’s a small gap the car can’t drive through. Annoying.

    Plus shooting in the thing is essentially pointless.

  2. Pingback: There are some who call me…Ding! Expert « Grinding Down

  3. okay how long in the game til u can drive a vehicle? i just beat the 1st mission in Skag Gully and im tired of running around. i wanna drive something. oh yeah and how do you beat bone head?

  4. Pingback: Borderlands 2, a treasure hunter’s wishlist | Grinding Down

  5. Easy , you go through the alleyway there should be a platform to your Right
    go up there and ignore the pain get on the roof (you will see it eventually) and start shooting at him, P.S , you need to be lvl 10-14

  6. God, you guys are helpless! Driving any of the vehicles is really not that hard. It does take a few seconds to learn but then it’s really easy. Just like wiggling the tip of your nose, once you learn you can’t forget.

    You accelerate with the left stick and steer with the right. Point the crosshair for the turret weapon in the direction you want to go. You’ll find the cars are almost pinpoint precise and extremely nimble to drive once you spend 30 seconds figuring it out. Put the place you want to go in the crosshair and push forward on the left stick.

    Now the vehicles will not climb some rocks because 2K made it IMPOSSIBLE to do so, they have invisible roadblocks set up all over to keep you from simply driving in and running over the people inside. This would make the Circle Of Death missions WAAAAY too easy. But over all the cars are really easy to drive.

  7. Jebediah Springfield

    One of the most helpful things to know when dealing with the vehicle, if it gets stuck a lot of the time you can knock it free with a melee hit. The physics is wonk though so it could land on yer head.

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