Earth Day, and games with great grass

When I think of Earth Day, I think of grass. No, not the kind often celebrated in that counterculture holiday from two days ago. But the green stuff that proved such trouble in Honey, I Shrunk the Kids and yet feels simply wonderful to walk through barefoot. Don’t deny it. Grass is great, and not just because it’s green.

Not surprisingly, grass shows up in a bajillion videogames, too. First-person shooters, epic fantasy RPGs, farm sims, you name it. It’s there. Graphically, herbaceous plants have come a long way, and here’s a couple of games  I believe do grass well.

The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass

In The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, Link could use his sword to swipe at bushes and find hidden rupees (as well as really ticked off enemies). It was great fun and always hard to resist doing so, especially since the bushes themselves respawned after entering/exiting a building. Phantom Hourglass, however, made it feel even more rewarding to slice up the earth. Now you could swipe at tall grass, and thanks to the touchscreen controls, it was quick, breezy, and rewarding. Hearts and rupees galore! My favorite tactic was to stand in the middle of a bunch of grass and do the spin attack. Seriously, if Link ever got tired of saving Zelda, he could totally make it as a lawnmower.

Eternal Sonata

Now, I’m not here to argue whether this is a good game or not. It’s most likely not. I’ve mentioned before that I got stuck on a pirate ship and would have to grind for many hours just to be strong enough to beat the current boss and move on. -5 to fun factor. However, both via cutscenes and in-game graphics, Eternal Sonata rocks the grass and meadows and vibrant scenery. It’s just so pretty and colorful, and you totally get the impression that the earth here is healthy and well-cared for.

The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion

You could seriously get lost in this kind of grass. In fact, I most certainly have. Going up a hill, your perspective slanted, all you’ll see is grass, a hundred thousand blades swaying with the wind. Considering the size of the world and its forests, it’s mighty impressive…except when you are trying to find a dead body to loot. Then it’s just maddening.

Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater

After two games of sneaking around inside buildings, Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater threw a wrench at us. Remember, if you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball. In this one, a majority of the game is played outside in the open wild. Here, tall grass and camouflage are your BFFs. Such a change of pace, but so awesome, too. I really loved the tall, thin blades, and popping from them to take a sneak shot on a soldier sure beat stuffing them into a locker any day.

Every Pokemon game ever

Grass is where it’s at in Pokemon. Actually, grass is where Pokemon are at in Pokemon. That’s where they hide, and you’ll spend a lot of time traipsing through it to find the right ones or just get to your next destination. Grass is so important to this series that it is even a type of Pokemon class. Huzzah!

Fallout 3

I’m sure this will be a spoiler to some folks, but there’s a location in Fallout 3 unlike every other location you’ll come across. This one is alive with…life. Plant life, more specifically. I’m talking about Oasis, a small settlement tucked away into some boulders that is not affected by radiation and has actual grass and healthy trees sprouting up from the ground. Your first visit there is a total headturn, and you really begin to see the importance of your quest to purify the water of the Capital Wasteland. Oh sure, on occassion you’ll find a single flower somewhere and be amazed at its stubborness, but here is proof that life goes on through it all.

Everybody’s Golf series

While this series may feature cartoony golfer avatars, the grass is always serious. Seriously good, that is. Look at that divet mark above. As one who divets it up like crazy, I can say that it’s pretty authentic-looking. Actually, most golf games nail grass. They kind of have to. It’s 90% of the screen. The summery discoloring is perfect above, too.

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Got a favorite grassy game yourself? Tell me about it in the comments below.

LEGO Harry Potter Collector’s Edition to cast Avada Kedavra on your wallet

It seems that LEGO Harry Potter: Years 1-4 is getting the royalty treatment of a collector’s edition, ramping the price up to $70 for the Xbox 360, Playstation 3, and Wii versions. This magical package will include the game disc, behind-the-scenes featurettes, a set of four House Crest LEGO magnets, and an exclusive Avatar item for those gaming on the Xbox 360. Yeah, I’m gonna go out on a limb and just say that for $20 more, it’s not worth it. The featurettes will surely be on the Interwebz in time, and then that really just leaves us with…magnets. Things you stick to your fridge’s door and forget about for months. I mean, c’mon. It’s a LEGO-themed game. Why not just give us some actual LEGOs to play with? We know you have ’em.

Right. So, what has two thumbs and just can’t get excited over magnets? THIS GUY.

Chances are that my Purchase of the Month for May 2010 will be LEGO Harry Potter: Years 1-4, but most certainly not the CE. Not unless someone casts a Confundus charm on me…

Roger Ebert, videogames, and art walk into a bar

Recently, possibly out of boredom or for trolling, Roger Ebert decided to bring back his thoughts on the whole “videogames as art” topic, further cementing that, to him, in principle, games can never be art. You can read his full article here, which is in fact a faulty critique of Kellee Santiago’s TEDxUSC talk given back in March 2009. She responds back, echoing a lot my thoughts on the matter.

One could easily dismiss Ebert for being old and “not getting it,” and his tone throughout is rather that of a cranky curmudgeon, which does not help things. “No one in or out of the field has ever been able to cite a game worthy of comparison with the great poets, filmmakers, novelists and poets,” he repeats. Ouch. Maybe it’s because…he is a movie critic with movie critic friends? Seriously, talk to anyone in the videogaming business, and I’m sure they could make mention a few titles that would be hard to describe as anything but artsy. Yet it is his comments at the end of this critique that prove him beyond faulty and out of place to deem such claims, namely the ones about Flower. It’s evident he has never played the game, let alone many videogames.

Wow, that’s like me saying yoga isn’t a sport and having the world listen.

The question at the heart of this debate, now and forever, is can videogames be art?

And the answer is: of course.

Name-dropping Shadow of the Colossus, Heavy Rain, Katamari Damacy, Suikoden II, BioShock, and Myst, the harder question that continues to stomp around my brain every time this topic comes up is…how could they not be art?

Secret of the Black Pearl

I have, it seems, discovered the secret to being successful at Hexic HD, and it is this: you have to play early in the morning before you’ve had any kind of java to clear your mind and eyes from sleep. Only in this haze will you be able to form starflowers left and right until you get them fortuitously in place and create a black pearl, the mightiest of pearls, the rarest of gems, just like I did shortly before 8:00 a.m. today.

Oyster-meister (15G): Black Pearl

Trust me, I had to double-check that the ping! I had just heard had actually sounded. I’ve been attempting to unlock this Achievement for quite some time, getting frustratingly close on numerous occassions. And by close I mean one gem away. One. Gem. Away. Oh wells. Pretty glad to get this though, and now there’s really only three (out of 5 remaining) Achievements I’d like to unlock for this puzzler. One takes time, the others endurance.

Too cool to Cool Board?

The fiancée and I hit up her PS1 games collection this past weekend, enjoying some time with Wheel of Fortune and Cool Boarders 4. I’m not ready to talk about the emotional roller-coaster that is Vanna White plus categories called IN THE KITCHEN…so let’s have a laugh at Cool Boarders 4.

This is a snowboarding game sequel to a snowboarding game sequel to a snowboarding game sequel to the original that started it all back in 1996. In this one, you are trying to solve the mystery of the Origami Killer snowboard. You can go downhill or back and forth in a half-pipe. Or, if you’re feeling very skilled, attempt to grab some big air (and tricks) and land safely at the bottom. We even dabbled in split-screen action. Warning: don’t ever play Cool Boarders via split-screen.

Graphically, it’s seen better days, but the game is a barrel of laughs. It’s not funny like the Terry Pratchett book I’m reading currently is (Making Money), but you’ll still find yourself chuckling, maybe even to the point of near-tears. Tara and I first took turns doing trick runs, but I kept falling head first into broken tree limbs, and she loved punching the sky repeatedly. The more we did our respective actions, the funnier they got.

Also, you can create a character, and so I decked my dude out in all purple attire, gave him so much girth his ass stuck out, and named him Killer P, but alas, it was not meant to be and the disc froze. All my hard work was lost to Father Time. Or the snow gods. Whoever it is you worship in this Cool Boarding world.

So yeah, fun for thirty minutes. I’m sure we got more out of it than those that really care about snowboarding games and landing 180 indie flips…

Hello, I’m a Millionaire Extraordinaire

…but it’s only in Hexic HD points, not money. I know, what a sham!

Anyways, I had some time to kill this morning before heading off to work–I woke up annoyingly extra early, showered, made breakfast, and found myself staring at the clock in disgust to be more specific–so I switched on the Xbox 360 and loaded up some Hexic HD. This is a free puzzle game that I like to play from time to time; it’s not at all calming or soothing, what with its hodgepodge soundtrack, but it wears its addictive values proudly, and I enjoy playing it. Want proof? Well, I unlocked this Achievement after a couple of clearing combos:

Millionaire Extraordinaire (25G): 1,000,000 Total Points

That’s one million points…collectively. Not in just one game. That’d be nigh impossible, but this total amount makes perfect sense considering how much I’ve played Hexic HD since I got the system. So that’s cool. Two other Achievements I’m actively going after Hexic Addict (Complete 100 Games) and Oyster-meister (Surround one piece with six starflower pieces), but those will most likely take some time. I’ve been close a few times on getting a black oyster puzzle piece. Frustratingly close. How anyone eventually ends up getting six of them and then surrounding another piece with all of them is beyond me…

GAMES I REGRET PARTING WITH: The Granstream Saga

If anything, many gamers will know of The Granstream Saga for one glaring quirk: all its in-game characters are faceless. They have no faces. Something ate them. Instead, there’s just this round thing of flesh on top of their necks with some colored hair to sort of the young and the old, the male and the female, the smart and the dumb. Still, despite this oddity, the game featured animated cutscenes of the anime kind, a talking bird companion, and great sword-swinging action (for its time). Oh, and it is also purported to be the very first full 3D RPG for the PlayStation. Cool, cool.

The plot is pretty typical “save the world” stuff. Except, this time around, you have to save multiple worlds. See, once upon a time in this alt Earth, the entire planet was covered entirely in water. Then, thanks to magic and aftereffects from the war between the Allied Spirit Army and the Imperial Wizardry, numerous continents lifted up from the water and out into the air to float fine for years and years until you loaded up the game disc. Now they are slowly sinking back down. Way to go, gamer.

This is where Eon comes into play. He’s the hero of The Granstream Saga, a boy not so ready for his coming-of-age tale, but he’ll meet a varied bunch of folks along his travels who will help him save his floating homeland, as well as all the others. After all, faceless friends are always generous. You’ll spend a good portion of the game staring at his bright red hair.

Gameplay is very standard RPG fare, with exploration of towns and dungeons just about equal to each other. While roaming around a cave, you’ll find enemies and duke it out in real time. Eon carries a sword and a shield, and you’ll take Zelda-like swipes at the enemy, engaging it fully. All in all, kind of bland now…but the system worked great in 1998, and things got much better with upgraded equipment and the ability to cast magic. You eventually learned strategies, too, like side-stepping behind an enemy for a stronger attack.

The Granstream Saga was not the first RPG I played on the PlayStation, but it has strangely had a lasting effect on me. Images of faceless villagers—as well as that uncomfortable shower scene—flash in my mind from time to time. And the details about the game’s ending have always been fuzzy, something to do with that bird companion. And yes, I could easily just watch an entire playthrough on YouTube, but that would totally ruin my gaming nostalgia. Instead, I’ll just miss the heck out of my copy and yearn for the return of the faceless.

NOTE: I could not find any great screenshots of these faceless game models so I whipped up some examples below so you can get a feel for things. Enjoy!

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GAMES I REGRET PARTING WITH is a regular feature here at Grinding Down where I reminisce about videogames I either sold or traded in when I was young and dumb. To read up on other games I parted with, follow the tag.

In-game relationships need to get out

Unless I’m playing The Sims, I don’t really want to do buddy-buddy things like playing darts and going for a walk and having a beer with someone in-game. Especially when we’re talking about Grand Theft Auto IV, where the majority of the focus is on…well, shooting drug dealers in the mouth and running over hot dog stands. Nor do I want to go on dates, but that mostly has to do with Niko Bellic not being the suave gentlemen your dates might think he is. Seriously, how can anyone be charmed by this masochistic, hollow shell of a goon? His response to every demonic task put on him is: how much will I get paid? Right.

I wish there was a way you could lose your cell phone in GTA IV and then have to go to a local Sprint store (I bet those Rockstar devs would be hilarious and call it, I dunno, Splint) to get a new one. After losing it, I would never get another. I don’t even care if that meant no more missions; I just want to walk and drive around in peace, listen to the radio, take in the sights. No, I don’t want to get shit-faced with you, Roman; you’re a horrible human being, possibly less horrible when drunk, but horrible nonetheless, and to have some drinky drinks with you would take up the following:

1. Time
2. Money

Plus, these in-game friends always call at the worst time ever. Like, you’re sneaking around a building, getting ready for a shootout, and then you have Little Jacob mumbling something about hanging out in your ear. Sorry, can’t. Why didn’t you call me during the 15 minutes it took me to get to this location? Chump.

Another example of bad cell phone usage in videogames: Pokemon HeartGold. During your course across the many regions, you will meet a bunch of trainers and strangers all eager to give you their phone number. In return, you must offer them yours–and your very soul. Seriously, if I could turn back time, I’d give my phone number to NO ONE. Not even my mother, that money-tossing fiend. Stand still for a minute or so, and ring ring ring, it’s Joey to tell you all about his RATTATA. Great. Just about every phone call I’ve gotten has been pointless; there’s no reward, no missions, just a bunch of BS and wasted time tapping through. I’m guessing this is the game’s way of making you feel connected to more than just pocket monsters, but it is an empty mechanic, beyond annoying, and a waste of precious time.

Dragon Age: Origins handles in-game relationships better…but not great. For one, thanks to Ferelden’s serious lack of technogadgetry, the Grey Warden does not have a cell phone. Instead, he/she has a mouth and two ears, and using them they can affect how other characters feel. Some might grow to hate the Grey Warden, others will fall in love, and a couple will remain indifferent no matter what you do. You can give gifts and listen to their stories to maybe pick up an important sidequest. Also, depending on who you are traveling with, certain key events will lead them to voicing their opinions, and it’s up to the Grey Warden to decide how to react. At least there’s rewards here: useful skills are unlocked as companions grow in friendship.

So unless in-game relationships do more than just annoy and waste time, they need to get out…and get out fast.

Sex and videogames, oh la la

Last night, I had sex…twice. First with a forest witch, and then immediately afterward with a bisexual assassin.

Before you start spreading crazy rumors around the Interwebz, let me be more specific: I wiggled my way into Morrigan’s arms after giving her 943 gifts and then easily (almost shockingly easy) convinced Zevran to have his way with me in Dragon Age: Origins. Yes, this game offers the chance to have sex with women, men, and even multiple partners at once if you plot enough. That’s great and all. Too bad the actual sex is silly and uncomfortable to sit through.

However, I like that sex is there and that BioWare is willing to make it a part of the game, whether vital or not. So far, it’s all been optional. Getting someone in bed naturally raises their liking of you, but you also have to be careful because your camp is open to all eyes, and certain someones might be disappointed in seeing the Grey Warden put the moves on somebody else.

But back to the uncomfortableness. In Mass Effect, you could woo some of your female/male companions (depending on your gender) and have an intimate moment before things really hit the fan at the Citadel. This made the sex emotional and important, and it was a short scene, with quick glimpses of positions and fingers running here and there and a sense that bodies were in motion. Nothing too crazy, and certainly not worthy of major news channels freaking out. The same could almost be said of Dragon Age: Origins except this time it’s not emotional and important, and with the already weak Xbox 360 graphics…it’s laughable.

I don’t have so much a problem with undressed Morrigan…though her breasts seem to remain magically motionless throughout all the turning and bouncing. Heck, even Zevran was fine. It’s the Grey Warden. He/she is always ugly no matter how hard you try to design them during the character creation phase, and they never look like they are enjoying anything. At one point, with Zevran, my mage grimaced in pain (I’ll let you speculate why). Add to this cheesy “romantic” music and campfire, and well, you’ve got silly sex. Which is a shame because the dialogue leading up to and after the penultimate act is superb, full of life and wit and shy flirting. I’d almost wish they’d faded to black à la Fable II and just let our imaginations run wild.

Well, that’s two out of four:

Witch Gone Wild (10G): Experienced the thrill of romance with Morrigan

Easy Lover (10G): Experienced the thrill of romance with Zevran

All that’s left now is to woo Alistair and Leliana. Poor Shale gets no action…

The island’s not done with you just yet, Paul

I don’t know what to say, readers. I kind of want to get LOST: Via Domus. I think my obsession with the show is finally reaching its breaking point. Every review tells me it’s not a good game, that it’s linear and not canon and mostly about taking pictures, and yet still, this tug, this come hug me feeling is hitting me harder than the island communicating with John Locke back during season one. I know why, too.

See, I’m doing many LOST things at the moment. One, I’m watching final season unfold every week, eyes a centimeter from my TV screen. It’s so good. Two, I’m re-watching season one and two on DVD and loving it all over again (the game, I believe, is set during these time-frames). Three, I’m working on drawing just about every LOST character ever.

So, yeah, LOST is on my brain. All the time. I dunno. Would this be the worse thing to buy for, say, $15.00?

Meh, maybe I’ll just pretend I bought it and instead put the money towards the season three DVD, a.k.a. lame wandering time.