REVIEW: Hidden Mysteries Titanic: Secrets of the Fateful Voyage

Developer/Publisher: Activision
Platform: Nintendo DS (also available for the Nintendo Wii)
Genre(s): Point-and-Tap Adventure
Mode(s): Singe player, assisted suicide
Rating: Teen
Time clocked: Three to four hours

If Hidden Mysteries Titanic: Secrets of the Fateful Voyage could be considered a videogame then I’d consider it the worst videogame ever crafted. But it’s not a videogame; it’s an exercise in excessive tapping. And you’d probably have more fun going down with the iconic sailing vessel than solving these puzzles.

Press start to continue

Well, no…not really. But it sure feels like I’ve run out of extra lives after a busy, busy weekend. There was movie-watching, marriage courses, and heavy lifting. Not a lot of videogaming in the end, but hopefully I can make up for that over the week.

You want something to look forward to? How about a review of THE WORST VIDEOGAME EVER MADE BY MAN?

Stay glued for that one.

Liberty City, Home of the Minigames

I’ve been playing a bit of Grand Theft Auto IV recently. It’s a massive game, truly elephantine, and that’s kind of amazing to think about considering I’ve only experienced one island so far. There’s driving and escorting and TV watching and potential girlfriends and clothing shops and and and…minigames!

What? I’m a sucker for them, which is beyond clear when one sees that three out of my seven first unlocked Achievements are the following:

Pool Shark (10G): You beat a friend at pool.

King of QUB3D (15G): You beat the high score in QUB3D.

One Hundred and Eighty (10G): You scored 180 with 3 darts.

That’s right. Niko visited Liberty City, and all he got was this lousy t-shirt were some mediocre minigames. Only one I haven’t tackled yet is the bowling Achievement for three strikes in a row. But I will, oh yes, I will.

But yeah, the minigames aren’t really anything to write home about. I was looking forward to pool the most because I have oddly always enjoyed Flash-based pool games and such. Here, however, it was extremely difficult to tell solids from stripes, and lining up shots was frustrating, as well as determining power and angles. I did, however, unlock the achievement properly by sinking the eight ball, but I know it can also be earned by your opponent scratching at the end. Doubt I’ll go back and play pool, even if it is my date’s favorite activity ever. She’ll just have to learn to love something else. Like drive-by shootings?

That said, the missions, so far, are okay. Pretty GTA standard. Haven’t done many though, just a few side gigs for Roman and F-bomber Vlad. Love the cell phone integration. Can’t really control cars too well. When it rains, it’s just amazing looking and I want to steal someone’s umbrella and go for a stroll. And lastly, mopeds for life!

FIRST HOUR REVIEW: Odin Sphere

You-hoo, down here. Right. My take on Odin Sphere‘s first hour of gameplay is now live over at The First Hour. Do check it out. I wrote it mostly as an excuse to post amazingly awesome cosplay pics, as shown above. Seriously, this game was made for cosplayers. I won’t be playing much more of it after a repetitive hour, but there’s no stopping me from loving the game’s art style and profound effect on the cosplaying culture.

Cheap videogamer is cheap

Recently, New Jersey got some snow. Enough to close schools and offices and make driving around a bit like controlling Mass Effect‘s Mako. Now, my motto to people is that when they hear snow is coming to not buy bread and water, but rather a new videogame. You’ll have more fun that way.

And since I already knew to expect a heaping of snow, I visited the local GameStop the day before to see if there was anything worth buying. Sure, I am still planning to make my “purchase of the month” before February ends (most likely Dragon Age: Origins), but I wasn’t in the mood to spend a big chunk of change so I perused the bargain bin and found the following:

Grand Theft Auto IV – $11.99
SEGA Superstars Tennis – $3.99

Sure, why not. These games definitely don’t go hand-in-hand, but the prices were just right for me. I’ve never had much luck with the GTA games before, always growing tired of the missions looooong before I probably should, but for twelve bucks I figured it couldn’t hurt to see if Rockstar made it more fun this time around. And don’t ask me about the tennis game. I really can’t give you an honest answer on why I picked it up. Just remember: curiosity killed the cat.

Haven’t gotten too far in either of them yet. In one game, I sped down a highway and jumped out of the car to let it smash into oncoming traffic; in the other game, I served tennis balls with unseen tenacity. Feel free to play detective with those clues.

Lara Croft VS. T-Rex, Round 1

There’s a short, but sweet article over at The First Hour about some great cinematic moments in videogaming history. And wow, I’ve actually played a few of the games mentioned. That’s just crazy talk.

Speaking of talk and crazy, I’d like to write a little bit about one cinematic gaming moment from my history. The time? 1996. The game? Tomb Raider. It was an epoch when the Internet did not spoil the big and small and all moments of a game, and so I knew very little about Lara Croft and her plight, just that the Indiana Jones in me had to have it.

I was exploring some caves when I noticed a cluster of rocks that looked most definitely…climbable. Took a bit to get Lara into position, but we made it over the rocks to discover a skeleton, as well as a lush area that was the polar opposite to the snowy caves I’d just been running and hopping through. Odd, I thought. Then some Velociraptors attacked me. Even odder. What’s going on here? It’s like an interactive episode of The Twilight Zone (obviously at this point I had no idea how much odder Tomb Raider would get; hello, winged and mutated Natla).

But yeah…Lara starts snooping around, her footsteps loud as all gets in the eerie silence surrounding her. And then it happens: the violin-laden music, the roar, the charge of a Tyrannosaurus Rex, the tiny section in your brain passing out. The large-and-in-charge dino comes at you like a train, and may your side-jumping skills be honed because it takes a lot of bullets and swift manuevering to bring down the “tyrant lizard,” and then when you do you’re left standing over it, completely unsure of your surroundings, completely unnerved for whatever is next.

It’s totally unexpected, a gaming experience soon going the way of the dinosaurs, alas.

New details about Fallout: New Vegas hit the jackpot

You can bet your noodle that I’ve already seen some of the leaked magazine scans containing pertinent details about Fallout: New Vegas. I’m not interested in linking to places hosting these scans, but I’m sure your Google-fu is good enough to get you going if you are that curious. I suspect over the next few weeks we’ll get official screenshots and stuff to publicly drool over. Just gotta be patient.

Anyways, here’s some tidbits that raised my eyebrows:

• There’s an optional hardcore diffuclty mode, wherein the character will need to drink water to survive the Mojave desert, ammo has weight, and healing with stimpacks isn’t instant.
• There are now special moves for melee weapons in VATS. For example, the golf club has a move called “Fore!” which is more or less a groin shot.
• Mutant geckos!
• Skills will have a bigger effect on conversation choices. Someone with a high Explosives skill may be able to have a coversation about explosives where using them would be 100% appropriate. This makes sense, and I’m amazed it wasn’t implemented before.
• There is a Reputation system in addition to Karma.
• All dialogue options will beshown to players regardless of whether you have the stats to succeed or not, and there’s no punishment for failure.
• Followers can be managed through a context-sensitive menu, with orders like “follow,” “stay,” or “attack.”

Yeah, it’s gonna be good, and from what I’ve gathered…funny. Now, Fallout 3 had it’s moment or two of dark, dark humor, but this time around it seems like there might even be a glimmer of silly or, dare I say, slapstick. Evidently there’s a female Super Mutant rocking some wicked shades and a stripper wig. Can’t beat that for guffaws.

But what I’m most pleased to see is that Fallout: New Vegas is using the same engine as Fallout 3. Some folks might take this as a disappointment, that the series isn’t going forward but rather standing still, but the Capital Wasteland was huge and open and completely explorable without having to drop into numerous (and/or obvious) loading zones. If the same can be done for the Mojave Desert then we’re in for a treat: another ginormous game with tons of locations and quests to suck away more hours of our lives. Ultimately, we should consider ourselves lucky.

Fable III will “upset people,” duh

In a recent interview at Game Jam in Copenhagen, Peter Molyneux talked a bit about Project Natal, indie games, and the forthcoming Fable III. And here’s an interesting snippet:

“We’re making some announcements [at X10] about Fable III and there’s some… wow. There’s some very, very big things happening in Fable,” said Molyneux. “Bigger than you think and it’s going to upset people. I’m really scared when I go out and tell people what it is; they’re going to get super pissed off. They really are.”

…

This? Not surprising. And Molyneux should be a bit nervous. I mean, currently, fans are already upset with the direction Fable XXVII: Revenge of the Demon Doors is heading and that game’s not even coming out for a few more years. But yes, no matter what, no matter how pretty/fun Fable III will look, I gotta stay on my toes. Because I suspect I’m part of that “it’s going to upset people” group. I enjoyed Fable II a very good amount, but it did seem to flounder out in some areas. Either way…let the hype and nigh disappointment for Fable III begin, I guess!

Percy Jackson DS game from the abode of Hades

I’m just finishing up the fifth and final book in the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series–The Last Olympian–and am eagerly (though somewhat cautiously) anticipating the theatrical release of Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief. They are fun books, with a lot of humor and Greek geek, and while many might instantly compare them to (or call them a ripoff of) Rowling’s Harry Potter, they should do some research and learn that Rick Riordan’s first manuscript was written in 1994.

Regardless of that fact, as the gaming industry is wont to do, there’s going to be a videogame release to coincide with the movie release. Tie-ins, they never end well. And evidently, Percy Jackson’s adventures are perfect for…an RPG on the Nintendo DS? Really?

Yeah, I don’t get it either. It comes out on 02/09/10, and check below the cut for some atrocious-looking screenshots. I’m in pain just posting them. Quick, feed me ambrosia!

Fallout: New Vegas teaser trailer is all about the teasing

Today’s the day we finally get some info about Fallout: New Vegas. Alas, it’s only cinematic information in the form of a teaser trailer, but it’s still good nonetheless. Click here to see the Fallout: New Vegas teaser trailer! CLICK IT.

Set to the song “Blue Moon” by Frank Sinatra, the trailer opens on the Mojave Desert and a WALL-E wannabe bot piling sand over dead bodies. The camera climbs high into the sky and we’re given a shot of Las Vegas, a city that seems to be standing just fine and completely functional if lighting is any indication. I’m not an expert on Fallout lore so I don’t actually know if it’s been said already that the city was hit by the bombs or just affected by them a la Point Lookout. Then we get a glimpse of an armored man, his flag, and his glowing Killzone helmet. Not sure if that’s to be us, a.k.a. the Lone Wanderer, or a possible antagonist. Either way, mmm. Now we just need some screenshots or solid gameplay information and I can consider my appetite sated.

Fallout: New Vegas is coming out Fall 2010. The same time I’m getting married. It’s gonna be cah-razzzy, people.